19. Dylan
Chapter 19
Dylan
I take a deep breath as Matthew and I step onto the luscious green grass of Colorado State University. The familiar scent of pine wraps around me, grounding me, a reminder of the nights I’ve spent crashing at his place these past few weeks. The administration building rises up in front of me, its cool brick and stone framework towers over us, but somehow still seems warm and inviting. It’s hard to believe this is where I’ll be spending the next few years of my life. I crack my knuckles, a mix of excitement and nervousness swirling in my chest.
“You okay?” Matthew asks. I feel a sense of relief as he looks at me, his smile reassuring, easing some of the tension I have.
“Yeah,” I reply, nodding a little too quickly. “It’s just… wow, you know? I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this being my school, my home for awhile.”
He chuckles softly. “Yeah, I remember feeling the same way when I first came here. But you’ll get used to it. It’ll feel like home before you know it.”
I hope he’s right. The campus is stunning, no doubt, but it’s also a reminder of how real everything is becoming. This isn’t just some dream or a distant plan; my future is here now, materializing before my eyes. And while it excites me, it’s also terrifying. So many things are changing at once.
We walk along a winding path, Matthew pointing out different buildings and landmarks. “That’s the library,” he says, gesturing toward a large building with huge glass windows. “You’ll probably live there with all the work you’ll have.”
I can’t help but laugh, though I'm a little nervous. “Maybe I’ll just hide in there and never leave.”
Matthew bumps his shoulder into mine. “Nah, you’re too social for that. Besides, you’ll be on the lacrosse team, which means you’ll have a whole team to hang out with.”
I glance around, watching the summer session students hurry across campus, backpacks slung over one shoulder, their faces relaxed as if they belong here. They know where they’re going without any forethought. They have their routine down. I don’t. Not yet. But maybe I will soon.
Matthew leads me through a courtyard, past a gently bubbling fountain in the middle, and guides me back toward the administration building. “I got you an early meeting with a counselor,” he says with a grin. “Pulled a few strings.”
I raise an eyebrow, smiling. “Pulled a few strings? Impressive.”
He shrugs, his smile widening. “What can I say? I’ve got connections.”
I laugh, feeling butterflies take flight in my belly. Matthew just knows how to lighten the mood. The air inside the administration building is cool and smells faintly of coffee and old paper. We’re led into a small office, where a kind-looking woman with silvering hair and glasses perched on her nose waits for us.
“Welcome, Dylan,” she says with a warm smile, shaking my hand. “I hear you’re ready to set up your classes for the semester?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I nod, sitting down in the chair across from her. “I’m still getting used to all of this, but I’m excited.”
She flips through a folder and glances at her computer screen. “I see you’ve already declared your major, which is great. And I hear you’ll be balancing lacrosse with academics, so we’ll want to keep that in mind.”
Nodding, I can’t shake off the lingering nerves, but I’m relieved that she seems to have an uncanny sense of what I require. She assists me in selecting a schedule, carefully distributing the workload to prevent me from feeling overwhelmed.
“Calculus, Chemistry, Nutrition, and Speech,” she says, typing into her computer. “Although it’s a full twelve-credit hour load, it’s manageable. You’ll be busy, but not drowning in it.”
Busy is good. Busy keeps my mind focused, and that’s exactly what I need.
By the time we leave her office, I have my classes, student ID, a campus map, and it all feels much more real.
“How are you feeling now?” Matthew asks as we step back into the sunshine.
I glance down at the schedule in my hands, then up at him. “Good. Actually, really good.”
He grins. “You see, I told you you’d feel better once it was all set.”
We start walking again, this time making our way toward the student center where a plethora of food trucks are located. The air is filled with the mouthwatering aroma of grilled meat and spices, causing my stomach to rumble.
“Let’s grab some lunch,” Matthew suggests, tugging me gently toward a bright blue food truck with the words “Bagels it smells like the both of us now and I like that. It’s become a second home for me—safe, cozy, and always filled with the scent of his cologne and the lingering aroma of whatever we cooked last night.
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” he asks, tossing his keys on the counter and kicking off his shoes.
I follow suit, dropping my bag on the couch and sinking into its soft cushions. “Sure, but I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep. Today was... a lot.”
He laughs, grabbing the remote and plopping down beside me. “Fair enough. We’ll keep it light. Maybe a comedy.”
As he flips through the options, I lean back and let out a content sigh. Being here with him, everything feels so much more manageable.
But there’s still that gnawing thought at the back of my mind—the guys. I miss them. I haven’t seen Ford or Jacob since I got here, minus on video chat.
Matthew notices my silence and glances over. “What’s on your mind?”
I hesitate for a second, not wanting to ruin the moment. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned with Matthew, it’s that he’ll always listen. No judgment, no rush.
“I’m just worried about Ford and Jacob,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “I haven’t really seen or talked to them as much since... well, everything happened with my mom.”
Matthew sets the remote down, his full attention now on me. “I get it. But they’re your guys. You know they will be there for you, no matter what.”
I nod, chewing on my lip. “I know. It’s just hard, you know? They’ve been my constant, and now everything feels so... up in the air.”
He wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. “It’ll settle. Once they’re here, you’ll talk, get your stuff, and things will fall back into place. Plus, I’m sure they miss you just as much as you miss them.”
I smile, leaning into his embrace. “Yeah. You’re right. It’s just... I don’t know. Change is hard.”
“Tell me about it,” he says, his voice low and soothing. “But I promise you, this is just a phase. Everything will come together. You’ve got me, you’ve got them, and soon, you’ll have your whole life here at CSU. It’s all coming together, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
I lean my head on his shoulder, and for a few minutes, we just sit there in comfortable silence, the flickering light from the TV casting soft shadows across the room.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper.
Matthew presses a soft kiss on the top of my head. “Good thing you don’t have to find out.”
By the time the movie ends, my eyelids are heavy, and I can feel sleep tugging at me. Matthew turns off the TV and stands, offering me his hand.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he says softly.
I take his hand and let him pull me up. We head to the bedroom, and as I crawl under the covers, I realize just how lucky I am to have him. He’s been my rock through all of this. He goes to leave, but I don’t want to sleep alone.
“Stay.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
He slides in next to me, pulling me close. His arms wrap around me, and I snuggle into his chest, feeling safe and warm.
“Goodnight, Dylan,” he whispers, his lips brushing against my hair.
“Goodnight,” I murmur.