Chapter 13
13
D ominic’s beautiful face greets me as I crack open my door the next morning. I’ve been expecting Clara. She’s supposed to meet me here to discuss our volunteer assignments. I assume she’s going to try to talk me out of volunteering with the choir, to volunteer with her in the Univ health clinic instead. I don’t want to tell her how set on being in the cathedral I am—more desperate for the music than the social time with friends.
My hair is an absolute mess, and not the sexy kind. I look like a toddler who has a sleepover hangover, right down to the slippers on my feet.
“Are those…sharks?”
His accent sends ripples through my body. I glance to where my legs end in fluffy Great White sharks. “Indeed,” I answer imperiously, using my poorest British accent.
He looks up at me and squints. “You know, most Americans are not charming. I believe you might be an exception.”
My stomach flips, and I smile just before my memory of last night crashes in on me. Shit . I signed a paper strictly prohibiting me from dating someone. In the moment, it had felt good to take the next step brazenly, to challenge the authority, to prove I had what it took to be a part of the brotherhood. But now?
Now faced with Dominic, and his mouthwatering designer T-shirt and distressed jeans? I think I made an error of judgement.
“Helena?”
I blink up at his face. “Er, sorry. I just woke up.”
“I can see that. You missed breakfast. Want to come to a Tuck shop and get something with me?”
I look behind him, expecting to see Li.
Dominic clocks my movements, a flush rising in his cheeks. “Er, I didn’t knock on Li’s door yet. I thought—” he coughs.
“No.” I interrupt him. “No, it’s okay.” I close my eyes, willing my brain to wake up. It doesn’t help that I laid awake for hours last night contemplating my future. I open my eyes. “I mean, I want to go with you. I’m happy if it’s just the two of us.”
Hope glints in his eyes as he smiles.
Shit. The damned agreement. Okay, well, this can be a friends-thing, right? Shit shit shit , maybe we should bring Li. No, I tell myself. Two people can go get breakfast together. It’s completely normal. It’s what friends do. I’m a modern woman. This is fine. This is totally fine. I’m not breaking any rules. I’m not going on a date. I’m wearing shark slippers, for God’s sake.
I scribble a note for Clara, letting her know I’ll be back in a few, put trainers on my feet, and we head out toward High Street.
Outside, a beautiful late fall morning blooms. We wander past the cam—The Radcliffe Camera, a huge round stone building on campus. Bicycles zoom past, people weave in and out of shops. Sleepy and hungover college students meander in and out of cafes. The scent of coffee hangs in the crisp air, and I pull my puffer around me.
“You’re not wearing your coat,” Dominic observes.
I don’t need to ask which one. I glance at him, my face heating. “Yeah, well, I’m in day-old clothes and only just ditched my sharks. I’m underdressed for that coat.”
His lips quirk up. We wait to cross the street, and he reaches out to straighten the collar of my puffer for me. “This one is cute, too.”
My heartbeat speeds up. We’re standing too close. Dear God, I’m in his orbit. His beautiful, lovely off-limits orbit. And he’s smiling, and doing that cute coat-obsessed thing, and if I don’t figure out how to put some space between us stat , I’m going to throw myself at him.
“Oh! Is that Li?” I exclaim, pointing frantically behind him and leaping away as if I’ve been burned.
He jerks around. “I—ah—maybe? Where?”
“Oh, you know what? Never mind. Not her.”
Dominic pivots back to me.
“Same hair,” I say with an overdone shrug. We cross the street with the crowd of students and I drag him into the first tuck shop we see on the other side.
“I thought we could go to the other one down the?—”
“I’m starving ,” I interrupt him. Lies . My stomach is churning. This was a really bad idea to put myself in this situation. I grab his hand and pull him in, forcing my way through the crowd. We’re not the only people after an early lunch.
To my right, someone calls my name. It’s a perfectly put-together Clara, waving at me from a table. I don’t miss the way her eyes catch where I’m holding Dominic’s hand, though I drop it quickly. She motions us over, and I nod at a loss for what else to do. “I was just going to eat and come to your room. Come sit with me.” She has to raise her voice to be heard over the din.
“No problem, this is great.” I paste a smile on my face before getting into line to order. I shuffle back to the table. Dominic pulls up an extra chair, and we’re really nice and cozy here, smashed together against the window. Not exactly giving us breathing space, or a good indicator to Dominic that we’re just friends, since my left knee is jammed in between his long legs. There is no other way for us to jigsaw together under the table.
After introductions, I purposefully steer the conversation away from All Saints and intentionally ignore Clara’s pointed glances at Dominic . She must get sick of my tactic though, because at one point she bats her eyelashes innocently and asks, “So, Dominic, do you have a girlfriend?”
“Oh, uh,” He stammers. His eyes cut ever so slightly to me, and he rubs the back of his neck. “Not officially, no. School is busy. Lots of studying.”
She still looks between us in a calculating way, and I channel all the Zen calm I can muster. “Dominic, Li, and I are neighbors. Li is still sleeping,” I say as I hear Dom’s name called from the counter. When he jumps up to grab our order, Clara shoots forward.
“You are not supposed to be dating! You signed…” She trails off, and widens her eyes with meaning. She’s not allowed to talk about it in public either.
“We’re not dating.”
“Does he know that? Helena, he can’t stop staring at you. You were holding his hand .”
“Friends hold hands,” I defend. “We were trying to get through the crowd. That’s it.”
Her look is level, and not-bullshitted.
“Okay, fine. He almost-kissed me before I signed the thing, but I swear. We’re just out as friends.”
Dominic returns and hands me my sandwich. I unwrap the white butcher paper and shove my mouth so full of food, no one will dare ask me questions.
Under the guise of pulling his chair up to the table, Dominic leans in so that his lips brush my ear. “Have I ever told you how sexy it is when Americans girls eat food?”
Clara lets out a breath and mutters something unintelligible.
My insides liquify…just before they freeze totally solid. From heat to ice in a millisecond. The person who just stepped up next to Dominic at our table? I swear I’m seeing him in my dreams, my nightmares, and now every moment of my waking life. My eyes lift slowly until I meet the cold, stony stare of Kendall Saint James.
“I’ve been looking for you.” His quiet, intense words send a shiver through me that isn’t all dread, and I hate him for it. Hate how for a moment I hope he’s coming to talk about what happened. To repeat it. But I know how absolutely insane that is, even for me.
“Well, you found me,” I mutter around a mouthful of sandwich.
Sitting back, Dominic’s eyes bounce between me and Kendall.
“Clara,” Kendall acknowledges, though I note his eyes don’t really stray from where they’re currently burning a path through my soul.
“I thought maybe you’d need a copy of this.” Kendall shoves a sheaf of papers into my face, causing me to jerk back. “You left them with me when we were together last night.”
The sheaf of papers are familiar…it’s a copy of what I signed last night. I choke a little on my food, unable to offer a defense. Kendall’s insinuation makes it seem like we were together together last night.
“Oy, mate. Who are you again?” Dominic’s gaze moves back to Kendall, and I know that he’s clocking his broad shoulders and deceptively good looks. Too bad he’s not wearing his “I’m pure evil” T-shirt.
Kendall’s eyes stay on mine when he answers. “Kendall. You are?”
This is not going well. “Kendall, calm down. He’s my neighbor. Clara is here.” It’s all cool , I tell him with my eyes. No rules broken, you psychotic stalker . I turn to Dominic to explain. “Kendall, Clara, and I went to high school together.”
“Ah.” Dominic looks relieved. Then puzzled. “That’s a lot of people from one school.”
Clara clears her throat and leans in to catch Kendall’s eye. “Would you like to sit and have lunch with us?”
Kendall clearly doesn’t like the direction of this conversation. He glowers at me, reaches into his jacket and produces another sheaf of papers. He tosses those onto the table in front of Clara. “Just making sure everyone gets their paperwork.” He rifles through his messenger bag and produces a second set of papers to hand to Clara.
Dominic eyes Kendall. “Are you all in a class together?”
“No,” I answer at the same time Clara and Kendall say, “Yes.”
“Okay,” I say, shoving back from the table, and turning a glacial glare on Kendall. “You. You’ve delivered your papers. All good here, captain.” I rattle the stack at him the way I would at a wayward raccoon. Shoo.
I hazard a look at Clara. The hurt, betrayed expression in her eyes say it all. She thinks that Kendall and Dominic are fighting over me. She's wrong. She hasn’t dealt with heartless Kendall like I have. It’s a power move by Kendall. It's the same twisted motive he’s had—he wants every day to let me know he's better than me. Even if he apparently enjoys “slumming it” sometimes.
“You know what? I am hungry.” Kendall's gaze slides to Clara, who nods enthusiastically.
"No."
Kendall cuts me a glare. “I was invited to have lunch.”
“Not by me. There aren’t any seats.”
“If he's hungry, let him sit,” Clara interjects. She reaches behind her, steals a chair from the table behind us, and wedges it into our space. Kendall will have to sit half in her lap and half in mine.
"Yeah, okay then, you guys enjoy. Dom and I will catch you later." I push away from the table, chair rattling.
Kendall’s eyes glitter. “Too good to sit at a table with your friends? You didn't have a problem sitting with me the other night?—”
Heat floods my veins and my face at the memory. I don't even let him finish the thought. I grab Dominic's hands and yank him out the door. We mow over several salty people and I drop my sandwich somewhere along the way.
“Whoa, whoa, Helena. Slow down.” Dominic tugs on my hand just as I'm about to pull us across High Street. I'm hightailing it back to anywhere that feels safe. My room. Maybe the library. I don't know. Anywhere away from Ke ndall.
“I'm sorry Dominic. I don't know what Kendall's issue is.”
“I do. He's clearly jealous. Hey.” He pulls me to face him, and damn his gorgeous features. They make my stomach flip. “I’m not na?ve enough to assume you haven’t been with other men. It's okay, Helena. Truly. He’s a prick. We’ve all made mistakes like that.”
My heart bottoms out. All I want is to pull him into me and prove that he's all I want. To put All Saints and all of this manipulative bullshit out of my head. To erase Kendall’s imprint on me with Dominic’s warmth.
“I've never—” I pause in my denial as the memory of being pressed into that wall in the garden slams into me. I can't say that Kendall and I have never touched each other. We've nearly ended each other with hate-turned-combustible-lust, but we're nothing to each other. “Yes. It was a mistake. He’s been insufferable, always.”
It's as close to the truth as I can get. Dominic doesn't deserve what I'm involving him in, but selfishly, I don't want to lose my friend. Especially not when he’s a smoking hot genius with a gorgeous accent who likes me despite my awkward ways.
Dominic's gaze flicks between my eyes. “Well, I understand mistakes.” He pauses. “I’m not convinced he sees you as a mistake, though.” His voice is quiet. Nonjudgemental.
I reach out and squeeze his hand. “Let's just head home. I've had my quotient of drama for the morning.”
Dominic is the epitome of everything I hoped Oxford would be for me. Class. Intelligence. Maturity. Steady. None of the hot and cold bullshit Kendall pulled. The difference between a man with intent and a boy playing games. Giving up Dominic in trade for all the contracts and secrecy suddenly seems a foolish thing to do.
“Where'd you go?” Dominic asks, squeezing my hand.
“Far away.” And nowhere good .
“Well, maybe you need something to ground you in the here and now,” Dominic says with a cheshire grin as he leans down. A million responses go through my head. I shouldn't. I can't. Friends hold hands, but friends don't kiss. I'm breaking the agreement I still hold clutched in my hand. But. I really want to kiss him. And it's killing me to know I will have to turn my head and let his lips graze my cheek.
He must telegraph my thoughts because he freezes. Then, as his gaze strays behind me, tension builds in his shoulders. And I know with a sixth sense exactly who looms behind me.
“You should leave the lady alone. She doesn't want your company.” Dominic says, pulling me in closer to him.
God love this man, and his chivalry.
“You left your bag," Kendall says, and I hear the smugness in his voice as he leans in close to my back. Hairs rise on my neck as he invades my personal bubble, electric energy personified. Under his breath, he mutters so only I can hear, “You are dangerously close to breach of contract, and it's only been eight hours.”
With a thunk and a clink, my purse hits the pavement near my feet. His message is clear. I can walk away from him, but he's still watching.
“You can leave now,” Dominic growls.
Kendall coughs. “I'll choose when and where I go, thanks.”
Behind us, Clara calls Kendall’s name. We’ve all abandoned her in the tuck shop.
"Look, it's clear you're into Helena, and it's clear she doesn't return the feeling, so why don't you just--" Dominic steps forward past me and comes chest to chest with Kendall. I’m caught in the middle of their bodies, edged out as they posture.
Kendall looms over Dominic, equally imposing. "You don't even know what you're talking about." Clara comes up behind us and I throw her a look that says how sorry I am.
"Oh, Don't I? You think that just because your daddy works here that you’re important? You wouldn’t be here without his big donation to the economics school. You can’t buy everything you want, and you certainly can’t buy class. So, Miste r Saint James, you’re the one that doesn’t know what you’re talking about.” Dominic steps back, pulling my hand with him. “Come on, Helena. Let’s go.”
My mouth hangs open. No one talks to Kendall like this. And Dominic knows who Kendall's father is? He must have looked him up after I mentioned him the other night.
Dom catches my eye. “My cousin told me about him. I guess she is friends with Kendall’s roommate. I only just put the face to the name.”
Kendall’s eyes blaze fire. I’m pretty sure he’s about to throw a punch, but instead he grabs my shoulder, spinning me so that I am nose to nose with him.
Clara gasps.
I don’t move. Can’t move. I’m paralyzed by fear and anger.
“Don't fuck this up, Helena. This chance you have. God, you don't even know who you are! My father thinks he's so smart, and that you're here as some sort of test for me. You are meant for so much more than this guy. You are mine .”
I blink. I’m his? What the actual fu?—
“Ours. You are ours .” He corrects himself before stepping back. “Remember your contract.”
My insides are jittering. His words echo in a loop in my head. You are mine, you are mine . He may have corrected himself, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’d meant it. Kendall thinks I’m his ? His to…what? To toy with? To control? To direct as a peon?
I shiver violently. That statement held power over my body and my blood. I shake my head to clear it. Power is one thing I cannot afford to give to Kendall Fucking Saint James.
“I'll remember my contract,” I hiss at him. “On one condition.” I shove his hand off my shoulder. “You. Don’t. Touch. Me. Ever.”
Instead of glaring, Kendall’s eyes flash with morbid humor.
Disturbed, I grab Dominic's hand and drag him across the street, trying to ignore the sounds of Kendall's dark laughter echoing off the surrounding cobblestones.