Chapter 11
Eleven
My time is almost up.
I glance over at the pile of empty gemstones that were brought for me to magic, and feel sick in the pit of my stomach.
The feeling of dread has slowly been building the last few days, and now I only have until the end of the day to figure out how I am going to get myself out of this mess.
In reality, I know that there is only one way that this is going to play out, and that is in my death.
A wave of nausea and light-headedness pass through me, and the longer I look at the gems the worse it gets. Clutching my stomach, I turn away and stumble over to my bed, falling onto the bedding. Black spots flash in my vision and I force myself to take even, steady breaths.
Not long after Prince Amir had returned me to my cell after my meeting with his father, furniture had begun to arrive.
A bed, soft bedding and a small table were delivered, and I knew that it must have been from him.
He is the only one who could go against his father’s wishes and not suffer the wrath of the king.
The prince keeps surprising me, this small act of kindness included.
The clean clothes and blankets supplied are a welcome addition. I am used to sleeping on hard ground, but blankets and extra clothing is a luxury. If only I could enjoy it, but I am in such a constant state of apprehension and tension that I barely notice it is there.
What I am finding the most difficult during my extension, is time.
The three day limit the King set me is torturous.
Each minute that passes takes me closer to my doom.
Time drags, the anticipation and dread weighing over me like a crushing weight.
Now that we are almost at the deadline, I find myself wishing for more time despite cursing the waiting.
There has been nothing to pass the time other than to stare at the gems and to think, as no one has been to see me since the king declared my latest challenge.
I am finding it harder than I thought I would.
Caleb would have been to see me if he was able, so his absence only causes me to worry.
There is nothing else to do in this cell but think and agonise over every tiny detail.
In between panicking about the upcoming deadline, I have been imagining all the terrible reasons why Caleb has not visited.
Has the king simply ordered that I am to be undisturbed, or has something happened to him?
There will be a reasonable explanation, but I am so deep into my own mind though that rational thinking is no longer an option.
During the first night, I had sat with the gemstone for hours, trying to remember the feel of the magic that Kit had used.
Demon magic was never going to respond to me, but if I could at least channel something, then perhaps I could get through this.
Ridiculous, desperate attempts that ended in failure.
My head had been filled with misdirected hope from Prince Amir’s talk.
He convinced me that there was something different about me.
That maybe I did have magic? The way he looked at me had stirred something inside and I for a moment I thought I had felt a spark.
Was I the one they were looking for after all?
Of course, it was all for naught. The gems were completely drained of energy, even their own natural power, so there was nothing for me to channel.
I can sense magic, like most of the aristocracy, but that is where it ends.
I am not special; I simply made a deal with a demon.
A lie that I am now caught up in. My time is up and I am going to have to make another deal with Kit if I want to survive.
I am already bound to fulfill a future favour for him, what else could he demand of me?
This is assuming that he would offer me a second deal.
I feel sick just thinking about it. Glancing down at my lap, I find my hands resting there, trembling.
The sting in my eyes warns me of the tears that are about pour from me in a deluge.
No, I need to control this, as if I start crying now, I don’t know if I will ever stop. I must be stronger than this.
Rolling my eyes up to the ceiling, I have a sudden revelation. I could try praying to the gods. Yes, nothing happened last time, Kit even told me that the gods thought I was beyond helping. However, once again I am in a desperate situation and I have nothing left to lose.
Slipping from the bed, I kneel on the cold floor, clasping my hands in front of me and bowing my head.
In Rune, we believe in many different gods, each one ruling over a specific attribute, for example the god of love and the goddess of wealth.
There are specific prayers for each one, but I do not remember the words required.
I am just going to pray and hope that the gods are feeling sympathetic.
“Holy gods above.” My voice is scratchy and I try to keep quiet so I am not overheard, but I need the gods to hear my plight. “You ignored me before, but once again I am on my knees before you. I am desperate and I need help.”
Voice breaking, I need to take a breath as the old feeling of betrayal and abandonment flares up.
Every time I think I’ve over what happened, I am reminded otherwise by an echo of the pain I felt in those early days.
I was still a child, what could I possibly have done to deserve being cast out of society?
Clearing my throat, I push past the remembered pain, my emotions fuelling me.
“I am coming to you now as one of your subjects in my time of greatest need.” Pouring my heart out to the gods who abandoned me, I don’t try to hide any of my emotions.
After all, before the gods, nothing can be hidden.
“I am sorry for my past sins, and I am sorry for forming a deal with a demon.” I lift my head once more and staring up at the ceiling.
“Please, hear my prayer and help me. Don’t force me to summon the demon again. ”
I pour my heart out, letting them see all of me as I am.
Raw and open, I feel so exposed and humbled.
Something touches my cheek like a warm caress, brushing away a tear.
The air is tense, like it is just before a thunderstorm, and I know something is happening.
Startling forward, I look around desperately for whoever was just in the cell with me.
However, nothing has changed. I am alone.
No, that can’t be possible, I know something touched me, I didn’t imagine that.
Was it the gods? Are they answering my prayers?
Hope makes me blind to the fact nothing else has changed.
Someone was listening, they have to have been, and if I am patient, they might return.
Still, I kneel at the side of the bed and I wait for a sign. I wait until my knees are screaming at me for being on them for so long. I wait until I hear the changing of the guard, indicating that the sun is setting. I wait, and I wait, and I wait.
Nothing.
The gods are not coming to my rescue. Abandoned once again.
What was I thinking? Of course they wouldn’t listen to one of the sullied.
Why would they want to help me after all this time?
Bitterness fills my veins, fuelling my anger as I stand.
My whole body is aching for holding that position for so long, and I hiss with pain as I straighten my knees.
I grab onto those feelings so I don’t succumb to the anguish that is threatening to overwhelm me.
Better that I am bitter than so consumed by sorrow that I am unable to do anything.
I have to think about Ella here. The gods abandoned us long ago, I should have expected the silence.
There are no other options. If I want to make sure the king keeps his promise and spares the sullied, then I have to fill those gemstones with magic. The only being who I know that can do this is Kit.
It is time to summon a demon.
Huffing out a breath, I reach up and push back my mass of curly sunset coloured hair.
It has become a knotted mess thanks to me anxiously running my fingers through it.
Chest tight, I start to pace the length of the cell and try to talk myself into doing what I know is my only option.
I don’t want to do this. Nothing good can happen from making a deal with a demon.
Caleb’s words ring in my mind about demon magic being seductive and I shake my head, muttering under my breath.
“Okay, I give in,” I call out, exasperated. “Oh, mighty demon Kit, please come to my aid.” Kit would find this whole production amusing, I am sure. I have no idea how to summon a demon. The first time I did it I simply said I needed help and he appeared. Nothing happens.
Frustration mixes with my fears and I shift my weight from foot to foot, awkwardly waiting for him to appear. Will he ignore my cry for help too? “Look, I know I should have asked you to come a couple of days ago, and I know I’ve called you some fairly unsavoury names, but it’s different now.”
After my failed attempt to push magic into the gems that first night and my illusion that I had power was shattered, I might have felt a little angry.
At the king, at the gods, at Kit, and at myself, no one was spared.
I had a rant toward Kit, not thinking that he would actually hear me, but now that I am asking for his help, it cannot hurt for me to be humble.
“I’m out of time.” The frustration fades and is replaced by despair, a shudder passing through me. Nothing happens. He’s not coming. Rejection once again weighs heavily on me, my stomach sinking. “Kit. Please.” A tear rolls down my cheek as my voice breaks. “I need you.”
Kit materialises in front of me, smirking as he leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. “Well, why didn’t you say so?!”