Chapter 17
Seventeen
“Caleb.” My voice is a broken whisper, overwhelmed at having my friend here and seeing him safe.
His name seems to break him from his spell and he pushes his hood back enough that I can see his eyes, keeping his movements small so not to draw attention. Seeing his familiar face almost breaks me. I have been so strong, so why do I feel like crumbling apart now he’s here?
“Are you okay?” Voice low, he scans me from head to toe although I am not sure what he’s looking for. “I’m sorry I have not been able to come to you since the other evening. I have had to make my new position here seem legitimate and that requires fulfilling certain duties.”
Although he holds himself still, I can tell from the tension in his shoulders and the clench of his jaw that he wants to do more, say more.
Under the harsh gaze of the king and his lords, we need to be careful that they don’t suspect that there is anything happening here other than one of the Chosen advising me before the ceremony.
“I am okay.” Huffing a dubious laugh, I shake my head. “I just cannot believe this is happening.”
His brows furrow and he takes half a step closer, seemingly unable to stop himself. “How did you convince them that you could use magic?”
His hissed question is laden with disapproval and confusion.
He doesn’t want to believe that I have magic and have kept in from him all this time.
I can’t tell him the truth, that the magic is not my own, but the result of a deal I made with a demon.
He would not understand, especially when he scolded me for simply mentioning demons the other night.
However, he’s my oldest friend, if I cannot confide in him, then who can I speak with?
Don’t tell him.
I jump like I’ve been electrocuted, gasping at the foreign voice in my head.
That was not my thought, but Kit’s voice in my mind.
So, he can speak into my mind and from the look of it, he doesn’t have to be in the same room to do it.
Unless… Is he spying on me? I would not put it past him to be hiding in here somewhere.
This is almost something that I hope is true, and the other option is not one I want to contemplate; that he doesn’t need to be close to me as he can read my mind.
Conforming to what Kit wants is not something I want to do. However, my instincts are telling me that the demon is right.
“I guess I must have gifts. I didn’t understand it until now.” I feel awful lying to him, but this feels like the only option I have in this moment. Thankfully he seems to accept my excuse without question.
“Magic…” Caleb trails off and shakes his head, confusion clouding his eyes. “How did I not see the signs? I should have known, I could have helped you.”
I hate seeing him blame himself, especially when what I have told him is a lie.
However, something about what he says twinges in his mind.
I could have helped you. Does that mean that he knew that magic was not as bad as we were always told?
He continued to keep an eye on me after I was redesignated Sullied, but he could never outwardly help me, his calling to the gods too strong to turn him from his duty.
If he knew I had forbidden magic, I have no qualms in admitting he would hand me over.
Unless he already knew the kingdom’s secret.
“Did you know that the royals have been looking for magic users all this time? That they claim it is evil so they are feared and the citizens will hand them over?”
I don’t know for sure that this is why they have been spreading lies about magic for so long, but it goes beyond the rule of our current king. A generation of liars spreading fear to get what they want. It is far easier to control us with fear than trust alone.
Caleb is one of the most righteous people that I know, he would not participate in a lie that manipulates people into doing what the crown wants… Except, as I stare into his familiar features, my stomach does a flip, nausea filling me at his uncomfortable expression. He knew.
“Caleb! They are spreading lies to scare and control people!” Indignant outrage courses through me and I cannot hold myself back despite this not being a conversation we should be having here. “I can’t believe you never told me. You of all people.”
The Chosen are supposed to be holy and work for the good of the people.
My opinion of them is quickly changing, and honestly, my respect for Caleb is taking a hit.
Trust is not something easily given, and to find out he went along with all this…
I have seem people be killed because they were accused of being magic users.
Were they just innocents caught up in it?
Caleb went along with it and did not step in.
In my mind, that makes him as guilty as those who participated.
My expression must show some of this as his whole demeanour shifts, a frown pulling at his brow.
“We don’t have time for this now, but I will explain later, I promise.
” Something changes in him and in the blink of an eye, he is no longer my friend, but one of the faceless Chosen, only his mouth visible.
Spinning on his heels he stalks back to the fountain with a swish of his white robes.
“Those who have come to witness the redesignation of Lady Kiara, please gather around.”
I am still standing where he left me, watching him like I don’t recognise him anymore.
Perhaps I don’t know him like I thought I did.
Everyone is gathered and waiting for me, so I assume that his announcement includes me too.
Slowly, I walk forward, stares boring into me and I make sure that each of my steps is sure. I will not appear meek and fragile.
Caleb waits for me in the circle of flagstones, and gestures for me to come to his side. He clears his throat and faces the king, dipping his head slightly.
“Our sister here has been seen by the gods, surviving the life of a sullied and the challenge they set for her. She went a step further and made sure to help others where she could.” The large domes space makes his voice boom out with an authority that feels greater than himself, as though the gods are speaking straight through him.
“As such, the gods have seen it fit to grant her with the gift of magic so she can dedicate herself fully to help her kingdom. To assist her in doing this, the gods are choosing to redesignate her.”
My stomach turns sour. Am I hearing this right?
The way he is speaking makes me sound like a martyr who sacrificed herself for the good of others, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
I was barely out of childhood when I was dragged from my life, the fact I survived was not because of the gods.
It was me who begged and stole for my next meal.
When it saw what happened to Ella, I knew I could not leave her alone, despite knowing that it was going to be so much more difficult with two mouths to feed.
The lords seem to be lapping up the story though, viewing me with a different light in their eyes. I want to shout at them, to break this beautiful farce, but Caleb makes another gesture, stopping me before I do something stupid.
Two guards step forward in response to his signal and approach me.
Years of running from guards has my body screaming at me to go, but I force myself to stand firm.
One of the guards nods at me and grabs my arm, examining my band.
My heart begins to speed up, my fear making my chest tight.
A glint of metal catches my eye and I jerk my head to the side, spotting a large pair of pliers in his hands.
Hands clamp down on me, shoving me to my knees as my arm is yanked out at an odd angle, pain flaring in my shoulder.
Snippets of an old, painful memory flash in my mind as history repeats itself. This is my past, things are different this time, but I am stuck in the flashback.
“No, please, what did I do?” I cry, desperately searching for my father in the crowd. I am barely an adult, what could I have done to deserve this? I spot my father and hope flares in me until I see the look of disgust and disappointment. He will not help me.
Stop. I need to stop this before someone notices.
Things are different this time, the guards are being gentle and I am not being forced to the ground.
Caleb is here. I am safe. This is real, this is happening.
I keep telling myself this, needing to push past the fear the memories are inducing in me.
Only, it is not working. I can still hear the sizzle of my burning flesh from where they bound the black band to my arm.
My ears ring and fingers begin to tingle.
I am finding it difficult to focus when my head is so foggy, dizziness threatening to overtake me.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for the guards holding me, I would probably be on the floor.
“Breathe.” Kit’s voice demands in my mind like a metaphysical slap to the face.
How dare he just pop into my mind whenever he likes?
I am so mad at him that it breaks the hold of the memories.
I want to rage at him, but a burning in my chest raises a greater need.
Gasping, I take a huge breath and fill my abused lungs.
I had not even realised that I had been holding my breath.
Taking several steady, deep breaths, I quietly seethe, knowing that he was right only making me angrier.
Back in the present, I focus on keeping myself in the moment as the guards lift the huge pair of pliers and proceed to cut off the black band around the top of my arm.
Several low mutters of exclamation come from those watching and I know it is because of the state of the mottled and scarred skin that was beneath the band.