Chapter 30 Killian
“She said, ‘I don’t want marriage or kids right now. I want to be free.’”
What I heard was: You were a phase. A means to an end. I’m almost done with you.
I laughed, the sound hollow in the quiet of the room. I shoved my head further back into my pillow, staring up at the intricate crown molding of the ceiling.
“I’m a fucking character in her survival story,” I muttered to the shadows. The thought tasted like copper.
I drifted into a light, restless sleep, the sound of the rain lulling me.
"Killian."
I heard Chloe whisper my name, and for a minute I thought everything that had happened in the past few days had been a dream—that we were back in that house and she’d snuck in through the window. I forced my tired eyes open and immediately wished I hadn’t.
Chloe was standing at the edge of the bed. Naked. Posed. Not shy about it, either. Moonlight laid itself across her skin, making something molten out of her. I had seen her like this before, but I don’t think I would ever get over the shock of it.
My jaw tightened. “Chloe—”
She moved before I could finish. She didn't give me time to think. She climbed onto the bed, straddling my hips like she’d done a hundred times since the first. The smell of crushed lavender and wet, heavy soil still followed her, and I found myself wondering if she’d spent the last hour running wild through the gardens, just like she had that first night.
She looked untamed. Her hands found my chest; they were warm and steady.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice gravelly.
“I know I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to, and I told you,” she whispered, leaning down, her lips brushing the corner of my mouth, “I’d find a better way to say thank you.”
My hands came up instinctively—hovering at her waist, not touching yet. “I already told you: you don’t owe me this,” I said, my voice rougher than I intended.
She kissed me. “I’m not paying you back,” she whispered against my lips. Another kiss. “I want to.”
Her hips shifted slightly, just enough to make my breath catch. “Chloe…”
“I’ve been thinking about it.”
“This isn’t something you rush into,” I said, even as my grip tightened slightly.
She cut me off with another kiss, deeper this time. Her fingers slid into my hair, tugging just enough to tilt my head back. “I’m not rushing,” she said between breaths. Her hand slid down my chest. “I want this.”
My restraint slipped. Just a little. “Chloe,” I said again, quieter now because my throat was so tight. “You’re going to regret it if you’re doing this for the wrong reason.”
“I’m going to regret it if I don’t,” she said softly.
She became forceful, pushing her chest against mine, her hands wandering under my shirt. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. All I could feel was her skin and the way she was shaking. Denying her felt like denying myself, and I didn’t want to anymore.
"Fine," I growled, my resolve finally snapping.
I stopped fighting it. I gripped her hips and flipped her, pinning her to the mattress beneath me. I looked down at her—hair messy, eyes dark, pupils blown out, mouth swollen.
"You really want this?" I asked, my voice dark.
"Yes."
I pinned her wrists above her head with one hand.
Her eyes flashed with something wild, something needy.
She nodded, reassuring me. I slid my free hand down her body, over the elegant line of her collarbone, between the heavy swell of her breasts, and lower still until my fingers found her slick folds.
She was dripping, her thighs trembling as I circled her clit with the pad of my thumb.
She let out a soft, high-pitched whimper that made my gut tighten.
I pushed two fingers inside her, feeling the tight heat of her pussy clench around me. Fuck. Her body had never known another man, and the realization caused a primal roar of possession to surge through my blood, tethering me to her more than any marriage ever could.
I had to go slow for her, even though my own body was screaming for me to lose control. I added a third finger, stretching her slowly.
"Killian, please," she gasped, her hips rolling against my hand, trying to take more.
I leaned down, my lips brushing the shell of her ear, my voice dropping to a low rumble. "Please what, little ghost?"
"Fuck me," she begged. "I want to feel all of you."
I’d wanted her since the first breath she took in my direction, and hearing her beg for it now made my blood turn to liquid fire.
I pulled my fingers out, ignoring her whine of protest, and stood.
Her eyes locked on mine. I reached for the drawstring of my pajama pants.
My fingers were steady, but my heart was a hammer against my ribs. I took my time undressing.
I watched the way her gaze traveled. It wasn't just lust; it was a desperate, wide-eyed wonder. Her eyes traced the scars on my shoulders, the hard lines of my abs. Her teeth found her bottom lip.
Once I was down to nothing, I grabbed her leg and hauled her to the edge of the bed. I started at her ankles. "I'm going to taste every inch," I growled, my mouth hot against her calf.
I began at her feet, placing tiny kisses against her arches, working upward, slowly licking her legs. By the time I reached her thighs she was bucking. I used my teeth on the meaty flesh of her inner thigh, teaching her body who it belonged to.
"Killian, please," she sobbed, her fingers knotting into my hair, pulling me closer.
I spread her and focused entirely on her pleasure.
My eyes stayed fixed on hers to ensure she was present.
I used the tip of my tongue, flicking against her tiny pearl.
I watched for the flutter of her thighs, adjusting my pressure the second she gasped.
A deep hum started in her chest and spilled out as a series of breathless "Oh gods. "
Before she even came, she was tugging my hair. "Killian," she choked out, her voice raw. "Please, I can't... I’ve never... I want you inside."
My dick leaked precum, painting her in it as I climbed her body, I took one nipple into my mouth, then the other. She arched off the bed. While she was distracted, I sank into her —inch by agonizing inch. The moment felt like a baptism in reverse, like I was seeking grace in the depths of her.
I watched her face transform. Her eyelids fluttered, a soft "O" forming on her lips. I could smell the faint scent of blood as her body gave way. She shoved at my chest, overwhelmed.
I gripped her hips, anchoring her to the bed as her hands went to my back. “Shh. I’ve got you,” I whispered against her ear, my voice thick with emotion and desire. “Look at you, little ghost. You look fucking beautiful on the brink.”
I began to move in slow, deep rolls of my hips, rocking into her. My lips brushed along her neck, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to her flushed skin.
“You’re doing so beautifully, baby. Taking all of me like this…
God, I love being inside you.” My hands slid up her waist, caressing rather than gripping, thumbs tracing the delicate curve of her ribs.
“I don’t think I can ever let you go now.
Not after feeling how perfectly you wrap around me… so wet, so soft.”
She moaned my name, her body trembling as pleasure slowly overtook the initial discomfort. Her inner walls fluttered and clenched around my dick as her first orgasm began to build. I kept the pace steady, grinding against her with every thrust, kissing away the tears at the corners of her eyes.
When she finally came, it was breathtaking—her back arched, her thighs tightening around my waist as she cried out softly, her pussy squeezing me in waves.
The feeling of her falling apart so sweetly beneath me sent me over the edge right after her.
With a low groan, I pressed deep and held myself there, spilling inside her.
I eased back finally, watching her face. Being with her felt… good. Too good.
How the hell was I supposed to let her go now?