Chapter 38
They weren’t lying when they said that babies have a tantalizing smell. Looking down at Ilya and Anya’s baby boy, Dmitry, I want to inhale his scent and keep it with me forever. When she had first thrust him into my hands after he had thrown up on her, I had been hesitant.
It has been years since I’ve seen a baby, let alone held one.
I look up at Damiano, who’s still standing by my side. A smile ghosts his face, making him look younger than he is. It makes me wonder what our baby will look like. With my brown skin and his tanned, olive complexion, I imagine that the baby is going to be light-skinned.
But since I can’t be sure, I try not to think about it too much.
“Hey,”
I get his attention, “can you put this over my shoulder?”
My head nods towards the blanket that is underneath Dmitry, and I lift him slightly so Damiano can grab it.
Quickly, he lays it over my shoulder, and I lift the baby, holding him against me securely. “You look like you’re getting comfortable.”
I do? Looking at Dmitry, I can’t resist the smile that I feel spreading. I am getting comfortable.
Up until now, I convinced myself that I didn’t want any more babies or that I wouldn’t be a good mother based on my history. Now, looking down at the baby I’m holding, I know that I want to be a mother. Not that I have much of a choice or that I can change the fact that I’m currently pregnant. Simply, the want to actively be a part of this baby's life, and do more than my parents ever did is the strongest thing I’ve ever felt aside from revenge.
Protecting my baby is trumping that.
As much as I hate Aldo and his family and want them dead, now that I’ve been thrust into this situation where I have someone else to take care of, I can put myself and my wants on the back burner.
“I like seeing you hold a baby.”
I look at Damiano. “Do you?”
He nods. A dark glint takes over his eyes, and my core clenches as memories from earlier today flood my brain. It’s as if on cue, my body recalls the feeling of Damiano driving into me from behind, the bruising way that he gripped my hips while I bit the pillow to hide my yells of ecstasy, or even my pulsing pussy when he came inside me.
It makes me want to leave and go home right now.
“Are we going to have our babies back to back?”
I tease him.
I hope he says that we are. There’s obviously nothing wrong with his sperm. They’re far more efficient than Aldo’s were.
“If you wish.”
“I do.”
The words are out before I can think about it.
Before Damiano can respond, his phone starts to ring, and we both look at each other apprehensively. This is his personal phone, where only a handful of people have his contact. And since his men are aware he's busy tonight, I know without a doubt that it’s an emergency.
It’s always an emergency.
I ignore the thought in my head and look at him. I probably wouldn’t mind the interruptions as much if he told me anything that was going on rather than believing I am too delicate to know. Or his chauvinistic mentality that things are handled this way because I’m a woman.
Not that it’s going to change.
To busy myself, I focus on the calm baby in my arms. I brace him in the crook of my arms, my hand holding his back as I watch Damiano. Aside from answering the phone, he hasn’t said anything. Though I hear speaking, I can’t make out the words from where I’m at. His body language tells me he’s not as relaxed as he was just a moment ago, and whatever vague details he’s being told aren’t making him happy.
That frown he always has when he gets terrible news is evident across his brow.
It only takes a second before Damiano hangs up. He doesn’t regard me, simply walking back to the other room where Anya and Ilya seem to be engaged in each other. They break apart when Damiano gets close, and their expressions of excitement melt instantly as he speaks.
I don’t wait for an invitation. Still supporting Dmitry, I stand and make my way over there, my steps faltering when I realize that Damiano isn’t speaking Italian to Ilya but that he’s responding without faltering.
As I get closer, the language sounds familiar, but I can’t place it.
It has a Middle Eastern lilt to it, but I’m not familiar with it.
After a second, Ilya turns to Anya, who looks just as confused. His eyes are full of anger, concern, and something I can’t place. “Damiano has to check on something. He needs a distraction.”
The words are in Russian, which I understand. “Distraction?”
I question.
All eyes turn to me, surprised that not only am I standing there, but I understood Ilya. “Bellissima.”
Damiano makes the first move and steps towards me. “Something happened, something bad.”
I can’t go with him.
I nod. “Okay, but why do you need a distraction?”
As if on cue, the baby starts to fuss from the tense vibes in the room. I calmly shush him by patting his butt until he settles. I can feel all eyes on me. I can sense the trepidation of what Damiano told Ilya settling in, and I don’t like it.
It’s another secret that he’s hiding. Something else that he thinks he’s protecting me from. I want to be angry with him. I want to lash out and say anything unnecessary. I want to cut him as deep as he’s cut me internally.
But we have bigger things to worry about, and I promised myself that I would allow him to take the reins until I have this baby.
My baby.
Our baby.
“It’s Marino,”
Damiano explains after a moment. “He’s been found.”
I don’t remind him that I don’t know who Marino is, but go along with it. I’m assuming that Marino is an important person. Because if he weren’t, Damiano wouldn’t go to the lengths that he is to hide the details from me.
I’m gathering from his tone that Marino is most likely dead, and with a looming war, it could have been done by anyone.
“Well, you have to go, right?”
I act dumb. Playing into his hands to make him believe I’m more naive than he knows. Still, even he knows that this is a game. I’ve never been this calm or accepting of his decisions before.
Damiano nods, moving closer. “I’m going to meet Gio by myself. He’s the one that called me.”
His presence consumes more, and if we were alone, I would be enticed enough to distract him. “Vlad, Marco Jr., and Antonio are going to take you home.”
I don’t argue. Instead, I nod my head in an assuredly confident manner. “Okay, will you have enough protection?”
Will you have enough protection? A voice mocks me.
Damiano smirks before speaking, and I know that wherever he's going is in his area. There are things that he doesn’t have to tell me, and then there are things that he’ll refuse to tell me.
I get it.
It only took getting pregnant to realize I can't be there for everyone. This baby, despite being a safety bargaining chip, is mine. I protect what’s mine with everything in me.
“You take your car, and I’ll have my men ride to take Echo home, then drive the car back.”
Ilya intercedes.
He knows where Damiano is going, and undoubtedly, it’s in the opposite direction. “They are already on their way,”
Damiano replies.
Vlad was supposed to come with us, but he had other things that he needed to do according to him. He said that he would catch up with Ilya and Anya another time. So, Damiano drove in his car, which was a nice change in pace from the way we usually drive around. Or it had been nice at the time.
Now, it just feels like a major inconvenience.
I look at Damiano. “If they’re on their way, don’t wait. Just go.”
He looks at me incredulously. “Are you sure?”
He’s asking the question, but I can see that his thoughts are already halfway to meeting Gio. He’s in Mafia Boss mode, formulating plans, calculating moves, figuring things out before they’ve even happened.
“Yes,”
I give my best attempt at a smile, though I’m sure it reflects just how uncertain I am of the situation, “if Gio called you, and he already has them on the road, they’re closer than we think.”
We all know Gio’s efficiency being second in command. To even question, if he has everything figured out before it’s necessary would be debating his loyalty.
Decided, Damiano gives Ilya and Anya a curt nod. “This wouldn’t be a regular night if something didn’t go wrong.”
Ilya’s face is straight, and Anya scoffs. “Bellissima, I will see you later.”
I nod, the finality that he may be walking into a trap setting in for me. Too eagerly for myself, I lean forward, and Damiano meets me. His lips touch mine in a rough kiss that isn’t long but leaves an impression on mine. Our eyes meet briefly, saying things that our lips wouldn’t dare say – Especially in front of company.
He doesn’t take a second longer. With his phone already to his ear, Damiano squeezes my upper arm and heads out. The closing of the front door is the only real sign that he’s left.