Chapter 34 Nellie
Nellie
It’s dusk when I arrive at the swimming hole.
As I pull into the parking lot, my heart leaps when I spot Luke’s orange Camaro.
My top is down, so I can hear splashing, giggling. Everyone is already here.
My flip-flops smack against the ground; I’m walking so fast down the hill, I feel like I could trip, but I’m anxious to see him. So anxious, my insides feel like they’re gonna burst into flames.
“Ready, set, goooo!” I hear Tommy yell up at Blair, who’s standing on top of the boathouse, getting ready to dive.
Sigh.
She’s topless, and as she raises her arms above her, glancing down at the dock to make sure everyone is watching, I see the profile of her perfect tit.
Then I see Luke grinning, treading water right near where she’ll land.
My stomach balls into knots. I feel like I’m gonna be sick.
Everyone, it seems—including Jane—is skinny-dipping.
Fuck it. Luke and I have a connection, and I’m going for it.
As Blair flies through the air, plunges into the river, I mount the dock.
All eyes land on me, but I just stick my hip out, paste a fuck-you look on my face.
I may not be naked, but I wore my skimpiest Daisy Dukes and my red string bikini. Revealing enough to be hot but with just enough fabric to cover my scar.
Dustin’s not here for some reason; I am so fucking glad he’s not. We haven’t talked since I shot him the finger at the Circles the other night.
When Luke catches sight of me, his eyes land on mine, and he flicks his chin up, smiles. Waves at me with his dry hand, which is holding one of his clove cigarettes. “Yo!”
“Yo!” I say back, trying to sound cool, but my voice comes out shaky.
I plop down on the deck, screw open the bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 I brought with me, take a huge gulp.
Jane’s back is to me, and she’s holding on to the dock with her arms, head tilted, like she’s high. Her chest is underwater, but I can tell she doesn’t have a top on either. Whatever.
Her creepy sister is sitting on the shoreline, under a big Cypress tree, dressed in one of her hideous prairie dresses, scowling. Why the hell is she even here if she’s not in a swimsuit? Doesn’t seem like she parties. I guess anything’s better than sitting at the fucking farm all day.
“Got a sip for me?” Luke’s voice lands in my ears. My whole body heats up.
I scoot to the edge of the dock, dangle my feet in the water. Undo the top button on my shorts, zip them down. “If you think you can handle it.” I wink at him.
He winks back.
I want to jump in, wrap my whole body around his, and never let go.
But I gotta play it cool.
Even though the sun is starting to set, turning the sky a blazing red orange, it’s still smoking hot out here, the heat roasting me.
He takes three long glugs, shakes his head as if he’s just tasted nasty medicine.
“Jesus, Nellie, that stuff’ll put hair on your tits.” His grin grows even wider.
“Gross,” I say, but smile back at him.
As if she can’t stand me getting attention from Luke for even one second, Blair swims over, splashes him.
“Hey!” He spins around, douses her back.
She squeals so loud—like a little girl—I feel like my ears are gonna split.
She also makes sure to bob up and down as she treads water in front him so that her chest peeks over the surface.
I’m furious.
I take another scorching sip of Mad Dog, then thunk it down on the pier.
Loud enough so that Luke peels his eyes from Blair for a sec and glances back at me. I lift my eyebrows at him as if to say, Be my guest. Go ahead and flirt with the boring rich bitch.
But he doesn’t take the bait, just turns back to Blair, who continues her bob-and-titty show. Then she paddles toward him until she’s only inches away, her bare titties almost touching his chest.
He clears his throat, red marks staining his neck. He looks like he’s under a spell. And why wouldn’t he be?
Fucking Blair. Get the hell off my man.
“Hey, Nellie,” Jane says, twisting around and fixing me with a sarcastic stare.
“Greetings,” I say in my snidest voice. “Care for a snort?” I shake the bottle at her, daring her to say no.
“Suuuure,” she purrs, taking it from me. She cocks her head back, downs more than even Luke. Passes it back. “Needed that. Thanks.”
It’s not, like, super noticeable, probably to anyone but me, yet she, too, seems annoyed by Luke and Blair, coolly watching them.
“Do it one more time!” Blair shrieks.
Luke takes a long drag; then his cheeks inflate and deflate as he blows smoke rings.
Gag. She’s acting like she’s never seen this before. I fucking hate her so much right now.
“Let me try,” Jane says, lifting the smoke from Luke’s fingers.
“Hey, that was mine!” he says, but in a playful way.
Jane sucks in the biggest drag ever, flips her head back, then puffs out the longest trail of smoke rings I’ve ever seen.
“Dayum, girl,” Luke says.
Instead of passing him back the cig, though, Jane flicks it far into the river with an angry snap of her fingers.
Luke hangs his head. Turns back to me. “Hey, can I have another swig?”
I lean over, making sure my boobs are pressed together to show off my cleavage, then hand him the bottle back.
His eyes are finally on me. I feel like I’m going to pass out with how fast my head is spinning.
Taking a drink from the bottle, he keeps staring at me.
I’m pushing my hair out of my face when I feel a tug at my back, feel my top slithering down.
What the fuck?
Blair’s evil cackle fills my ears.
That heifer snuck up behind me, undid my bikini top! I’m gonna fucking kill her!
My boobs dangle out for everyone to see; Luke’s eyes are pasted onto them. Shame fills every pore on my body. I know he can see my scar, dark and wormy, just under my left nipple. He’s definitely disgusted. Has to be.
But, if he is, he doesn’t show it. He’s still staring at me, his mouth hanging open.
I cup myself, covering them, snatch my top off the deck. Then I scramble to my feet, elbowing Blair as hard as can when I pass her on the way back to my car.
“Fucking bitch,” I hiss at her.
“Oh, come on, Nellie! I was just messing around!” she squeaks after me, no sincerity in her voice.
“Nice rack, though!” I hear Tommy say, which actually makes me grin.
“More like too good to be true!” Blair shouts. “Her daddy bought her those titties. It’s why she has that scar. From the surgery. Isn’t that right, Nellie Jo?”
I freeze, spin around. “You’re such a fucking liar, Blair!”
But I know nothing I can say will make anyone believe me.
When my tits came in, they were the one perfect thing about me.
So perfect that Blair had to concoct a story about them.
Whisper to everyone that I’d had a boob job, that the scar I got from hunting with Dad was proof of it.
I was holstering a shotgun when it kicked me hard in the chest, the scope cutting into my skin.
“You wish, Nellie Jo! Just like your nose, they’re fake.”
Wicked bitch. And now she’s using my middle name, which she hasn’t in years. Just to fuck with me. Try and push me over the edge. I’m so filled with rage right now, I’ve never wanted to seriously kick someone in the face as much as I’d like to kick her.
Everyone is quiet, waiting for me to explode. But I don’t have a good comeback because my breasts are so perfect that they do look fucking fake.
My face burning, I turn around and keep heading to the car.
My arms are still across my chest when I reach the door and lean down, trying to pry it open with my fingers while still covering myself.
“Need a hand?”
I can’t breathe. It’s Luke.
“Uh, kind of?”
He pops open the door, and I hop in the driver’s seat. He looks the other way while I get my top back on.
“You don’t have to leave, just because—”
“Just because the whole world just saw my tits?”
“Hey, it’s not that big a deal. C’mon, don’t let her get you riled. She just had too much to drink.”
I hate that he’s defending her. But I love that he chased after me.
“Plus,” he says, tossing back his wet hair, which sticks again to his tanned shoulders, “they look pretty real to me.” He winks at me.
I gulp.
“Tell ya what, wanna get high?”
Minutes later we’re sitting in his Camaro, same as the other night, the leather seats cracked and baking the backs of my thighs.
He fishes out a joint from the console, fires it up, sucks in a drag, and passes it over to me.
I inhale as much as I’m able, then go into a coughing fit. But after that, my mind is numb. I loll my head over on the back of the headrest so I’m looking at him. “Why are you nice to me?”
He laughs. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Everybody else hates me—”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ve been over that, remember?”
The cherry on the joint burns orange as he takes another drag. “I like you; you’re…different…like me.”
Through the cloud of smoke, I study his perfect face. His petal-like lips, his intense dark eyes, his kissable neck.
Fuck it. What am I waiting for?
I lean over the console, gently grab the back of his neck. Put my lips on his and kiss him. His lips feel so good, but he doesn’t kiss me back, just sits there, still as a stone.
A nervous laugh chokes out of him. “Ummm…”
Absolutely mortified, I shrink away, slink back into my seat. I want to throw up. I want to die.
I cross my arms in front of my chest again, suddenly feeling naked. Dirty. Dumb.
“Hey, heeeey.” Luke’s voice grumbles across the console. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. And I do like you, Nellie, just—”
“Just not like that?” I spit out. “I get it, heard it my whole life.”
“No, no, no, that’s not it.”
Huh?
A pair of fireflies dance right in front of his windshield. I know I’m stoned, but they look like they’re about to make out, just like I wanted to do with Luke ten seconds ago.
“Well, what is it, then?”
He fiddles with his visor, slides out a clove cigarette. Lights it. Then passes it to me, lights himself another one.
“I’m seein’ someone.”
Huh.
“Someone, like, back in Dallas?”
He shakes his head.
“Here?” The word screeches out of me.
He nods. “But we’re kinda keeping it under wraps, like low-key.”
“Jane?” I ask.
Luke sighs, but shakes his head. “Nah, she’s a family friend. That’d be, like, weird…”
It’s Blair, then. It’s gotta be. The way she is around him, the way he is around her. And, of course, they have to keep it a secret—she’s Tommy’s girlfriend.
“Got it,” I say, cracking open the door, stepping out.
“Nellie, wait, you don’t have to—”
I pause, not wanting him to think I’m mad at him. Because I’m not. I’m mad at Blair. “What? It’s no big deal. But, like, I just wanna get outta here, ya know?” I say, trying to keep calm.
“We cool? Can we still be friends?”
I lean back into the car, lowering myself so that my not-fake perfect tits will swing in his face again. The tits he was obsessed with minutes ago by the river. I can beat Blair at this. Luke and I are soulmates; we are so fucking alike. He will grow tired of her stupid, silly bullshit.
Again, he stares at my chest, can’t take his eyes off it.
“You bet.” I wink at him, flash him a devilish smile, and shut the door.