Chapter 22 Liz #2
“To me too,” Liz said. “And that’s nice of you to offer.
But I think this is an all-or-nothing kind of situation.
We’re either all going to know each other and see each other, or we’re not.
You can’t sneak out of the house when Charlie and I come over.
I can’t pretend that you don’t exist. And you can’t pretend I don’t either. Not anymore.”
“I don’t want to,” Ace said, letting this sit between them for a moment.
“So, I guess we’re all in this together,” Liz said.
“I want to know you, Liz. I can’t wait to get to know you.”
Liz thought about all the times she had fantasized about her father when she was a child.
In her mind, he was a dashing figure sweeping up to the front door of the elementary school in a limo and whisking her off to somewhere fabulous (and taking out Angela and her deranged anti-DARE protest in the process).
He was a fan on the sidelines of the soccer field, cheering ferociously for her.
He was a fellow hater of onions. He was a stranger, a shadowy mystery, full of possibilities for Liz to dream up and long for.
But now her father wasn’t a question mark.
He was real, and standing before her, with all the flaws that this involved, and he was offering Liz the chance to find out the answers to the questions she had held her whole life.
“I want to know you too,” Liz said. She and Ace smiled shyly at each other, and a world full of potential was contained in their shared gaze.
The possibilities were like the stars, twinkling and bountiful.
Liz and Ace had missed out on more than thirty years, but all was not lost. They had now.
And tomorrow. And all the days after that.
“First, would you like to meet your half brother?” Ace asked, and gestured towards Victoria’s room.
“That is so weird,” Liz said, and they both laughed.
“Maybe we won’t say that too much,” Ace said. “We’ll just refer to him as Miles.”
“For your mother?” Liz asked, remembering that he and Victoria had been planning on naming their son after Ace’s mother.
“Yes,” Ace said reverently. “Your grandmother. She was a wonderful woman.” Liz watched Ace grow reflective. “Sometimes I think this would have gone a lot differently if she had been there.”
Liz wondered if her grandmother would have seen to it that Ace scoured the ends of the earth before allowing himself to lose the scent of his daughter’s trail.
Would anyone’s wisdom or wrath have been a match for Angela’s stubbornness?
Would one stroke of fate, one missing piece, one tweak in history, have made a difference, or was it all going to play out this way anyway, leading them here?
“I guess we’ll never know,” Liz said.
“But we can control what’s next,” Ace said, finishing her thought.
Liz smiled at him, then walked to Victoria’s room and saw that Victoria had upgraded to the suite where celebrities welcomed their babies.
The space was the size of a penthouse in a luxury hotel and was situated on the corner of the floor, so it boasted two walls of windows showcasing the impressive view.
Sunlight streamed in and classical music played softly from a portable Bose speaker set up on the coffee table in front of the couch.
Stunning bouquets dotted the room—Liz saw cards from the women who had thrown Victoria’s baby shower—and a bottle of Dom Pérignon sat on the windowsill.
Victoria was resting in bed, her phone in her hand, her baby sleeping in the bassinet next to her.
“Well, well, well. There are babies who sleep?” Liz said.
Victoria’s face lit up. “You’re here.”
“Of course. I even brought ugly flowers.” Liz held up the token bouquet.
“You shouldn’t have.”
“I honestly probably shouldn’t have,” Liz said, looking at the tacky blooms and then at their competition. Liz dropped them on the table and approached the bassinet.
“He’s beautiful.”
Victoria grinned. “Not bad, right? I think I’ll keep him.”
“Hi, Miles,” Liz said to the baby. “I’m your mom’s best friend, and your half sister, and the mother of your best friend, whether you and Charlie like it or not.”
“They have no choice in the matter,” Victoria confirmed.
Liz pulled a chair over to Victoria’s bedside and sat down. “How are you feeling?”
“All right!” Victoria said cheerfully. “Especially given that I almost had my baby on Sunset Boulevard.”
“I can’t believe that happened.”
“Me neither.” Victoria gave her newborn an affectionate glance. “If his entry is setting the tone, we’re in for a wild ride.”
“Then again, your baby is quiet and sleeps. Bitch.”
Victoria laughed. “I’d offer to trade you, but I think that’s the only thing that could make our situation any weirder.”
“Good idea. Let’s Parent Trap the hell out of this and see if anyone notices.”
Victoria smiled. “Are you getting some sleep? How are you?” she asked.
“I’m okay.” Victoria searched her face and Liz looked away. “I don’t know why I’m not as happy as I should be,” Liz said, studying the floor. “I have what I always wanted. I live with a great guy and our cute baby in a nice house with his-and-hers closets—in the Bird Streets, no less!”
Victoria took her in and then carefully asked, “But what if that’s not what you want?”
“What do you mean? Of course I want those things.”
“If you don’t, it’s okay,” Victoria said. “Sometimes we get what we thought we wanted only to realize we want something else. Or sometimes we think we got what we wanted, but it’s not the real thing.”
“I can’t exactly return my baby because we’re not bonding like I thought we would.”
“I’m not talking about Charlie,” Victoria said.
Liz felt herself getting defensive. “I knew it. You don’t like Preston. I could tell.”
“Preston is perfectly likable,” Victoria said. “And it’s your life, Liz, but…”
Liz crossed her arms over her chest. “Not everyone gets a romance like it’s out of a Nicholas Sparks novel.”
“Trust me, I know,” Victoria said wryly. “I’m not saying everything should be perfect, or even that perfection exists.”
“Then what are you saying?”
When Victoria spoke next, she did so slowly and tenderly. “You don’t have to stay with Preston because you have a baby together.” Liz fought the childish temptation to put her hands over her ears and block out Victoria’s words. “You deserve someone who acts like you hung the damn moon, Liz.”
“He does!” Liz insisted.
“Does he, though?” Victoria said, and though Liz was silent for a minute, she felt something treacherous bubbling up beneath her skin.
“At least the guy I’m with didn’t lie to me for years,” Liz said.
Victoria pressed her lips together but took this calmly, without even a hint of outrage.
“You’re right. That is something. But is it everything? Is it enough?” Victoria studied Liz, who was refusing to meet her eye. “You aren’t Angela,” she said gently. “You wouldn’t be turning into her if you chose not to be with Preston. You’d be choosing yourself.”
Liz glared at Victoria. “Must be nice. You’ve had your life figured out for a whole twenty-four hours and you’re already telling everyone else what to do.”
“I’m offering my perspective, not trying to force my opinions on you,” Victoria said.
“Things are fine—they’re good!” Liz said.
“So what if we had a fight? Everyone fights. Preston asked me to move in with him. He has a good job and he’s a nice guy and a great father.
And fine, our relationship isn’t some crazy, passionate love affair that people are going to make movies about, but you know what?
Not everyone gets that. It’s not realistic. ”
“Are you actually making a case for average?”
Liz refused to look at her, turning away from Victoria and focusing on Miles instead. He was still sleeping peacefully, which shouldn’t have further enraged her, but it did.
“I wish you could see yourself how I see you,” Victoria said. “I wish you could see how funny and smart and beautiful and strong you are. Because if you did, you would know that you don’t have to settle for an approximation of the real thing.”
Liz swallowed the lump in her throat and stood up abruptly. “I’m sure you think you’re trying to help, but acting like you know what’s best for everyone and pushing your opinions on me—that’s not helping.”
“I hear you. I said my piece. I won’t mention it again.”
Except Liz would know she was thinking it.
Every time she looked at Victoria, she would remember the words Victoria had just said aloud—scary, alluring, dangerous words.
Victoria held out her hand to Liz, but Liz refused it.
She needed to withhold any confirmation that Victoria was onto something; she needed to try to banish this conversation from her mind.
“I’m happy,” Liz said. “What we have is good.” Liz didn’t say what she was really thinking, which was that it was good enough. And rather than striving towards an unattainable goal, wasn’t it better to accept and appreciate what she had?
Victoria nodded and started to talk about when the nurse had come to administer a hearing test on baby Miles, but Liz was so discomfited that she conjured an excuse to leave, congratulated Victoria again, and scuttled out of the room.
Liz walked down the long hallway, past all the new parents rejoicing over their babies and making plans for the glorious futures they would share together.
She told herself that this was the case for her and Preston too.