Chapter 48
Chapter forty-eight
Seren
The sky stretched on, a cloudless, vibrant blue, and the sun shone uncharacteristically bright, catching on the early morning mist. It swirled through the chilly air, scattering crystal rainbows across my face as I traversed the narrow road.
The path was bumpy and overgrown in places, my fingers numb with cold, but I could not help but admire the mágik that nature provided, all on its own.
Ayla had provided a horse for me—a large but friendly beast called Bear—and a map, which I was grateful for. Though I knew Villaz Silven was a half day ride east of Acsilla, there was no time to risk taking a wrong turn.
My cousin had suggested taking a guard with me for assistance and protection—the council had demanded it when they realized the future queen would be riding unprotected—but I slipped away in the early hours of the morning.
I preferred to travel to Harkin’s family home alone; I would be a fool to think it would not be more complicated than simply retrieving him for our mission.
There were feelings involved, whether we would admit it aloud or not, and I did not want to bring members of the court to the home where his mother and sister lived.
Protection was unnecessary, anyway. Aside from Harkin, Ayla, and the council, no one in Acsilla knew who I was. The future queen was not under threat, because to everyone else, I was nobody. As expected, I rode on undisturbed as the sun climbed high into the sky.
It was nearly supper time when I arrived in the small, wooded village of Villaz Silven. I had taken the path far slower than expected, wasting away most of the day traveling. I could not deny—even to myself—that I was stalling, unsure of what I would find given the way we had parted two weeks past.
A quaint house and an aging barn stood side by side. Smoke wafted from the squat stone chimney, and I saw movement behind the windows—outlined with fluttering curtains.
I urged Bear toward the barn, dismounting when we approached the latched doors. I opened them with a hearty push and led the horse inside.
Equinox stood in one of the stalls, munching contentedly on hay from a net which hung suspended from a beam above her.
She tossed her head, pawing the ground playfully as she noticed me.
I situated Bear into the next stall, removing his tack and giving him a hearty pat of thanks.
I moved to Quin next. The mare whinnied as I approached, stretching my hands out to stroke her soft muzzle.
“Hello there,” I cooed, running my fingers down the soft length of the horse’s neck. I dropped my voice to a comical imitation of a whisper. “You know, Bear is a rather sweet old boy, but I certainly missed my girl.”
“Your girl?” Harkin asked.
I jumped, spinning to find him only a few steps from me. My cheeks flushed red. His brown hair was damp, dripping into his eyes and wetting the collar of shirt as if he had just finished bathing.
“She likes me better anyway.” I grinned around the feeling of butterflies dancing in my belly.
Harkin still hadn’t moved. “What are you doing here, Ren?”
“I needed you.” I shrugged, biting my lip nervously.
His eyes tracked the movement, and he let out a heavy breath.
I blinked, and he was upon me, hands sliding across my back as he drew me into an embrace. He inhaled against my neck, and I shivered, fingers finding the wet waves of his hair. Every muscle in my body relaxed—softened with safety.
“Maybe Equinox did miss you, traitor that she is, but I missed you more.”
I could hear the truth in his words, and my heart swelled.
“I missed you too,” I whispered in return. My hands moved forward to cup his jaw, fingers stroking over his freshly shaven skin.
Harkin pulled away, squeezing my hand once before letting go. “Come with me. We’ll have supper, and then we can talk.”
I nodded in agreement, not quite trusting my voice.
Harkin led me out of the barn and toward the small house. He pushed the door open with familiar ease, guiding me along with a hand at my lower back. His fingers were hot even through the fabric of my clothes.
“You didn’t tell me we were expecting company,” a woman, who I assumed to be Harkin’s mother, tutted as she caught sight of us in the doorway.
“Ah, well. Seren was not expected, but I am glad she is here nonetheless.” He turned to me. “This is my mother, Yvett.”
We walked deeper into the house, and Harkin pulled the cloak from my shoulders, hanging it by the hearth.
“Seren?” His mother lit up, a mischievous smile overtaking her face. She turned to Harkin but not before shooting a wink to me. “The woman you have yet to stop yammering on about? Well, you were right, she certainly is very pretty.”
Harkin’s face blazed with embarrassment. “Yes, thank you for that.”
“Anytime, my love.” Her eyes narrowed playfully. “Seren, are you hungry?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“Nonsense, darling. Take a seat.” She waved off my hesitations.
At the sound of shuffling chairs and clinking plates, Harkin’s sister skittered into the room on bare feet. Her brown hair was long and braided; I wondered if Harkin had plaited them for her.
They all looked so alike.
I felt a bittersweetness about it. I had never looked like my parents or Luca. I wondered if I looked like my birth parents. What I had seen of King Tarquin had been so brief, I had not had the time to search his features for my own.
“Adina, this is Seren. Seren, this is my sister Adina.” Harkin made the introductions, helping Adina settle into her chair at the table.
Adina’s features settled into an impish expression so like her mothers I could not help but let out a soft laugh.
“Seren, your lover? This is so exciting. I have always wanted a sister, and now I shall have one.” She laughed maniacally, tossing her braid over her shoulder as she looked between the two of us for our reactions.
“Dina!” Harkin groaned, dropping his head onto his arms where they rested on the table. He mumbled into his skin as he spoke, “I did not tell them that you were my… lover. In fact, I expressly told them that was not the case.”
He peered up at me; embarrassment had him flushing red all the way down his neck.
I smiled so widely, my eyes squinted and my nose crinkled. My cheeks ached at the sustained motion, but I could not stop. I shook my head laughing, still. “This might be the best day ever. Please continue to embarrass Harkin. I find it immensely entertaining.”
“No,” Harkin warned, lifting his fork in a mock threat. “Eat your supper, all.”
The four of us laughed again and then tucked into our meal.
When we had finished, I knew I could delay no longer. I needed to tell Harkin about Claudian’s accomplice and our plan to travel to the Sárkhona Draum to perform the ritual.
“Shall we?” I suggested.
“Perhaps, we should take a walk. The air is lovely this evening,” he supplied, rising from the table and delivering both of our dishes to the wash basin.
“Sure. Thank you, Yvett, for the meal. And thank you both for the show.” I shot them a wink, and they pealed with laughter.
“Anytime, Seren,” Yvett replied jovially.
“Seriously. Anytime.” Adina waggled her eyebrows.
I smiled at them gently, wondering what it might be like to have them both as my family—as Adina had implied. I thought it might be exceedingly lovely, and I had never missed my own family more.
Harkin’s hand caught mine, fingers twisting together as he led me from the house once more. He did not release his hold on me as we walked through the trees and toward the sound of rushing water.
I did not want him to.
We emerged from the treeline at the edge of a great riverbed. Large flat stones lined each side, limned in soft twilight. We settled down upon one of the rocks, facing the rushing water. They were still slightly sunwarmed from the clear day.
“Claudian was not working alone,” I began, preferring not to dance around the topic. “We do not yet know who this person is, besides the fact that they harness life mágik, but it seems exceedingly likely that they will come for Ayla and myself, to finish the job Claudian started.”
Harkin’s body tensed, but he did not interrupt.
“Théo has been studying the rituals and researching our options. As it turns out, the original ritual would have ended both of our lives, allowing the life wielder to absorb both of our powers.” I picked at the skin around my fingernails, trying to ignore the fear that still lingered deep within me.
“Théo has found another way. A test of the Goddesses that will, hopefully, bolster our mágik so that we may defeat this new enemy.” I turned to Harkin.
“We must travel to the Sárkhona Draum. It will be dangerous, and we will have little time to accomplish our task. Will you come?”
My chest ached suddenly, at the possibility that he might say no, and I looked away. He had clearly told his family about me—and that was not insignificant—but he had wanted time away from Acsilla. From me.
“Ren.” When I did not meet his gaze, he grasped my chin. His thumb grazed the bottom of my lip. “Of course, I will be with you.”
“I wasn’t sure that you would want to,” I admitted in a whisper.
Harkin pulled away in disbelief. “I told you I would be by your side. You need only ask.”
“You said that, and then you left.” The sting of burgeoning tears threatened to fall. “And I know you needed to speak with your family. It makes me so happy to see you here with them—to know they have accepted your past. But, when I last saw you, it felt like a goodbye.”
Harkin blew out a long breath, nodded. Clasped his hands together then released them. He looked at me, and his expression was pained. “I needed time away.”
“From me?”
“Yes.”
I pushed myself off the rock, standing and brushing my clammy hands against the front of my trousers. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have come.”
Harkin rose beside me. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I asked, brushing the first tear from my cheek as it fell.
“Don’t shut down on me. Ask me why I needed to be apart from you.” Harkin was so close, we shared breath.
“Why?” My voice was hardly a whisper.
“I needed time away because the last time we spoke, you told me you were to be crowned Queen of Acsilla. I needed to leave before I did something selfish like ask you not to accept the role. It would not be fair of me to ask, knowing you will make an excellent queen.” We were both breathing heavily now, hurt and anger and wanting palpable between us.
I did not understand what he meant, and he knew, without me saying a word.
“As queen, you will make decisions for your people first and always. You will answer to them and to the council, and both will expect you to wed a proper match one day.” Harkin’s eyes were frantic, willing me to understand.
“Ayla was betrothed to Lady Emilia Terrance. I am sure the match would stand, or they would find you someone else—if you preferred—but it will be someone of noble blood or a foreign emissary, someone with a stellar reputation. They will never allow you to choose someone like me. That is why I had to leave, because I will take too much. I will be too selfish if I stay with you.” Tears fell down his cheeks as he wrenched himself away.
“We should go back before it gets too cold.”
I opened my mouth to say something—anything—but my mind whirred as I contemplated his words, so I only followed silently.
Harkin had left so that he would not ask me to choose him over my title, but he wanted me to choose him. He wanted to be selfish with me, to have me.
I didn't know what to do when we needed each other, but the kingdom needed me too.
I knew he was right about my future marriage prospects; the council knew of Harkin and his reputation.
He would not help their kingdom gain alliances or wealth or power.
The council would not approve of a relationship between us, but what did that matter when my heart knew his?