Chapter 30
THIRTY
PRESENT DAY
Josie
I wake up with the sun slanting across my face and roll over to find the other side of Ian’s bed empty. For a moment, I’m disappointed to miss out on the chance to kiss him first thing in the morning, but his absence gives me a moment to reflect on everything that happened between us.
It was the most amazing night of my life, and I don’t regret it. But I can’t help wishing I were waking up here in Ian’s house, in Ian’s bed, without this terrible secret still weighing on me.
Maybe I should have told him the truth about his dad last night. But I got caught up in the moment, in his mouth against mine, his hands on my burning skin, and I…
I didn’t want to ruin it. Maybe it was selfish, but it felt like a second chance.
I am going to tell him everything, and I really believe he won’t blame me.
But I know this isn’t a simple conversation that we can have over coffee this morning.
We have years of secrets to sift through, and it’s going to be painful and heartbreaking and traumatic.
I can’t start that conversation the day before my sister’s wedding.
It was my fault my sister was forced to leave Sandy Harbor all those years ago, and what followed was a decade of her own heartbreak and grief.
I know she doesn’t regret a second of it because it brought her to Garrett, brought her back to this island, and brought her the beautiful life she’s building.
But it took a lot for her to finally get to this place.
And now she deserves the perfect happy ending. I can’t take the chance that I might jeopardize even a moment of that. Ian and I waited over a decade to be together. We can wait a few more days to finally put the past behind us.
I can smell coffee brewing and something cooking in the kitchen downstairs, and I find Ian scrambling eggs and pulling toast out of a toaster.
He’s shirtless again, chest still damp from his run this morning, jogging shorts riding low on his hips.
My gaze traces the lines of his biceps and a thrill runs through me that I don’t have to hide the fact that I’m blatantly admiring him.
He slides a cup of coffee into my hand and leans down to press a kiss on my lips.
If someone had told me a week ago that I’d be standing in Ian Langley’s kitchen, wrapped in his arms, I never would have believed it.
Ian leans back to look me in the eyes. “I want you to know this isn’t a fling for me. A best man and the maid of honor hook up kind of a situation.”
Ian was never that kind of guy, and I never questioned his feelings for me. “I know that. And I hope you know it’s not for me either.”
He reaches out to smooth a lock of hair from my face. “Years ago, I felt like you and I could have had something, and I still think that.” His blue eyes pierce mine. “It never felt right to me how things ended. But I wonder if maybe that’s because it wasn’t supposed to end at all.”
I stare at him, my heart filling with hope. “I’ve spent the past ten years wondering the same thing.”
He looks at me for a long moment. “What happened when you disappeared, Josie?”
I lean in, my gaze tracing every detail of his face. “I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you. One of my biggest regrets about leaving Sandy Harbor was how things ended between us.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going?” His face twists painfully. “Your phone was disconnected… I went over to your house and there were movers there…”
“You did?” My heart aches. I always imagined that he was so wrapped up in his sudden responsibilities at Langley Capital that he didn’t spend much time thinking of me. But maybe I wanted to believe that because it made it easier to justify what I’d done, leaving him without a word.
“It was a kick in the gut to realize you were just… gone.” He scrubs a hand over his eyes as if that will somehow wipe away the pain.
It kills me every second that I’m holding on to this secret.
I’ve been carrying it for too long. It’s kept us apart for a decade, and we deserve to be free of it.
Ian and I deserve to have a chance together, with everything out in the open.
Everything I know about Ian tells me that he’d believe me, and that I can trust him.
I reach for him. “Ian, there’s so much I want to tell you about that time. So much that you need to know—”
My words are cut off by a knock on the front door and then the creak of it swinging open.
“Hello?” Madeline’s voice carries from down the hall, reminding me that this is about her.
Right now, we’re here for her and Garrett.
There are two more days until her wedding is over, two more days until I’m free to tell Ian everything.
And once Madeline and Garrett are back from their honeymoon, I can tell them, too. We all deserve to put this behind us.
Ian and I step away from each other as Madeline walks into the kitchen followed by Garrett and then Mom.
The rehearsal dinner is this evening, and they’re here to go over all the last-minute plans and make sure everything goes smoothly.
I can’t believe that with everything that happened last night, I forgot.
It’s another reminder that I need to focus on what’s important in this moment.
I make my way around the room to hug everyone as Ian grabs a T-shirt and tosses it over his head. “Sorry, Annabel. I just got back from a run.”
Mom waves a hand. “This is your home. You do whatever you want.” But her gaze swings to me, eyebrows raised in what I can only imagine is disapproval.
Ian spins back to the stove to move the eggs from the pan to a platter. “I was just making breakfast, but there’s plenty for everyone.”
I glance down at my own outfit and realize I’m wearing one of Ian’s shirts over a pair of pajama shorts. “I should probably go change.”
“I’ll come with you,” Mom says. “I want to look at the jewelry you brought and see if there’s something that will work with my dress for the dinner tonight.”
Upstairs in my room, I wonder if Mom will notice that the bed is neatly made.
When we walked past Ian’s room, the covers were thrown back, throw pillows still on the floor where we’d tossed them the night before.
But I just can’t work up the energy to worry over what Mom thinks of me and Ian.
I’ve lived with anxiety and fear eating away at me for more than a decade.
I’ve been hiding, and afraid, and living half a life.
I hand Mom my box of jewelry, and she sets it on the dresser without opening it. “I don’t need a necklace, I just wanted to talk to you.” She sits down on the bed. “You and Ian looked very cozy there in the kitchen.”
“Maybe we did.” I open a drawer and dig around for something to wear.
“I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s something going on between you?”
I stand up straight and slam the door closed. “Mom, I’m almost thirty years old. I’m not having this conversation with you.”
She sighs. “I’m not worried about your sex life. I’m worried that you’re getting involved with him of all people. What happens when he finds out the truth?”
I close my eyes as a wave of frustration rolls over me. “Then I can stop dragging it around with me and finally start living my life.”
Mom blinks at me, her face registering shock. “I’m only trying to protect you. That’s all I’ve ever tried to do.”
I sigh and sink down on the bed beside her.
“I know you are. And I know you sacrificed a lot. But I’m tired of hiding from what happened in the past. Back then, I was a kid and didn’t know any better, but nothing about the situation was my fault.
That man assaulted me, and I defended myself.
I wish I’d gone to the police right away. ”
“Of course it wasn’t your fault.” Mom grabs my hand. “I hope you know that I never for one second thought it was. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t have ruined your life. And it still could. That man was Ian’s father…”
“You think if Ian finds out, he’s going to have me arrested?”
“He’s a powerful man. Why take the chance?”
I lunge off the bed and pace across the room.
“The reason powerful men get away with anything they want is because people are too afraid to go up against them. But things aren’t the same as when it happened to you.
Women can come forward and people will believe them.
Ian isn’t like his father, and I trust him. He’ll believe me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” I spin around to face her. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Ian would never hurt me. I’m going to tell him everything as soon as the wedding is over.”
Mom closes her eyes with a heavy sigh. “I think you’re making a big mistake.”