Chapter 11
ELEVEN
TEN YEARS AGO
Madeline
I press the buzzer outside Jason’s house, and the heavy wooden door almost immediately swings open. I look up to find Adam smiling at me. “Hi.”
I feel a matching grin spread across my face. “Hi.”
When Adam dropped me off after our date yesterday, he kissed me on my doorstep and asked me to come over tonight to hang out with him and Jason.
I said yes immediately, and last night, I texted Josie that I thought I might have met someone special.
She texted back a series of heart and kissing emojis, and I went to sleep with a smile on my face.
But on the drive over here, the nerves kicked in.
If I want to be with Adam, it’s important that his best friend likes me, too.
Especially a friend as important to Adam as Jason.
This will be the first time we all hang out together, aside from lunch.
But at lunch, there are always a million conversations going on at once with cheerleaders and guys from the swim team stopping by to talk to Jason.
This is the first time it will be just the three of us during a time that Adam and Jason usually hang out.
Will Jason resent me for being in the way?
“You look beautiful,” Adam says, his gaze sweeping from my face over the outfit it took me an hour to pick out.
“Thanks.” I smooth the wrinkles from my knee-length sundress, glad I chose it over four different T-shirts.
He’s wearing his usual jeans and a vintage Nirvana T-shirt with a rip on the sleeve that shows off an appealing hint of tanned shoulder.
I notice some black staining around his fingernails, and I wonder if that’s from a hobby or after-school job.
He didn’t mention it on our date yesterday, but we had so many other things to talk about.
I flush, remembering our kisses in the back of the Bronco. For a while we didn’t do much talking.
A voice from somewhere behind Adam drags me back to the present moment. “Can you please stop mooning at Madeline from the doorway and let her inside?” It’s Jason, standing in the hallway with his arms crossed over his chest.
For the second time today, I worry that he’s unhappy I’m here.
Adam said that on Sunday nights, he and Jason usually play video games, which means I’m crashing the party.
I’m sure Jason doesn’t like being a third wheel in his own home.
But when I slip past Adam into the house, Jason gives me a grin.
“This is for you.” I reach out to hand him a book.
“What’s that?” Adam leans over to look at the title.
Jason slides the book around his back. “It’s a secret between me and Madeline.”
“Stop it.” I laugh, reaching over to give him a shove in the arm. I kept forgetting to bring The Poisonwood Bible to school last week, but I remembered on the way out the door tonight. “It’s one of my favorite books by Barbara Kingsolver,” I say to Adam. “Have you ever read it?”
He shakes his head. “But if you love it, maybe I’ll take a look. ”
Jason tosses the book on the entry table and starts down the hall. “Come on, let’s go play pool.”
“Do you like to read?” I ask Adam as I pull off my shoes and move them out of the doorway.
“I used to with my mom.” His cheeks turn pink, and he rubs the back of his neck. “But to be honest, I don’t read much aside from class assignments. I’m not sure I’d even know where to start.”
“Maybe I could recommend some once I get to know what you like.” It’s my turn for my face to heat up because I realize how much I want to get to know what he likes.
I want to get to know everything about him.
“That’s how I got into reading. I had an English teacher on Sandy Harbor who kept giving me books, and now I’m obsessed. ”
“Is that mostly what you like to read? Those big literary books?” He eyes The Poisonwood Bible . “To be honest, I might need to start with something a little easier. Have you got anything with pictures?” He’s joking, but I can tell it’s partially a defense to hide his discomfort.
“I do actually. I love graphic novels.”
“Really?” He raises an eyebrow. “Like comic books?”
“Sort of, but they’re full novels, some with really gripping storylines, mostly told through drawings and dialogue. They’re a really great way to read.”
He rubs the back of his neck again. “I’m intrigued. I’ll try one of your graphic novels.”
Jason’s voice cuts in from the stairs at the end of the hall. “Are you guys coming?”
“Be there in a minute,” Adam calls before turning back to me. “So, you learned all about this from that one English teacher?”
“Mrs. Friedman was the best.” My heart tugs at the memory of my old mentor. “She always knew exactly what books to recommend and how to inspire her students to love reading. I want to be just like her someday.”
“Well, it sounds to me like you’re already halfway there.
” His gaze is steady on my face, but I feel an overwhelming sense that he’s taking in so much more than my ordinary configuration of eyes and nose and mouth.
He’s really seeing me. Not just the good parts, but my jumble of uncertainty and insecurity and doubt.
“You should consider volunteering at the library. I bet you could inspire a lot of people like Mrs. Friedman did for you.”
It’s such a perfect suggestion. Back on Sandy Harbor, most of my activities revolved around the water, but that’s not an option in Maple Ridge.
Kids play sports, like Jason, but the teams are already formed, and I’d never make the cut.
When my mom and I first moved here, I went into the bookstore to inquire about after-school jobs, but the owner and her wife said they’ve been running the place for thirty years and generally don’t need more help.
Volunteering at the library might disperse that cloud of aimlessness that’s been drifting around me since we moved here, and maybe it would help me feel more connected to this place, too. “You think they’d want me as a volunteer?”
“Who wouldn’t want you?” Adam says.
“ Come on ,” Jason calls more urgently.
I remember my worries that Adam and I might make him feel like a third wheel. “We should go.”
We head down to the basement into a large open space with a bar at one end, a pool table at the other, and an oversized couch and two chairs arranged in front of a TV. One of the chairs is piled with sheets, a blanket, and pillows.
“Is this where you stay?” I ask Adam.
He nods. “Yep.”
I turn to Jason. “It’s so nice of your parents.”
Jason shrugs. “It’s no big deal. They feel bad because they use the spare rooms upstairs as home offices, so Adam gets stuck in the dungeon.”
“It’s a pretty nice dungeon.” I remember Adam saying that he and his parents lived in a trailer, which couldn’t have been much bigger than this spacious room. It even looks like it has its own bathroom in the corner, and there’s a sink and mini fridge in the bar area.
“Jason and his family have been the best,” Adam says, staring out across the room. “I don’t know what I would have done without them…”
“Aw, man, stop it.” Jason ducks his head and gives Adam’s shoulder a shove. He peeks at me like he’s embarrassed to be seen getting emotional.
I give him a smile, feeling my own emotions well up at the closeness of their friendship.
We hang out and the guys teach me how to play pool, something I never learned on Sandy Harbor since beach houses don’t have basements like this one.
I’m not very good at it, but I don’t care, especially when Adam stands close behind me, his chest pressed to my back, showing me how to hold the pool cue in his steady hand.
Later, Adam volunteers to go upstairs to grab some snacks, and Jason and I settle on the couch to look for a movie.
“You really are a good friend,” I say to Jason, reiterating Adam’s words from earlier. “It’s so sad that his parents died.”
Jason drops the remote control in his lap and turns to look at me. “It was sad before they died, too. You know his dad was an alkie, right? They lived in a crappy trailer, and he basically drank himself to death.”
“Oh,” I murmur, not sure what to say to that. Though Adam told me a little bit about his parents yesterday, it sounds pretty rough to hear it like this from Jason.
“Adam’s had a hard life. He basically raised himself, and he’s been on his own. Not like you and me growing up with parents who are involved in our lives and help us with homework and planning for the future, and normal stuff like that.”
“Well, he seems to be doing okay on his own.”
“Yeah, I mean, he doesn’t take AP classes or anything.” Jason looks at me across the couch cushions. “Not like us. And he probably won’t go to college.”
“He could, though. If he wanted to,” I say. Adam and I didn’t talk much about our plans for after graduation yesterday. We still have so much to learn about each other, and the thought gives me a little thrill.
Jason shakes his head. “The way he grew up, it’s like a different culture from us. His dad worked as a mechanic and his mom was a waitress. College wasn’t a thing. And they definitely didn’t save for it. I think when his dad died, they were dead broke.”
I shift in my seat, starting to grow uncomfortable with this conversation.
I’m not sure where Jason is going with all of this, but it feels like we’re gossiping.
If Adam wants me to know more about his history, he’ll tell me himself.
I don’t like talking about him behind his back, and I can’t help feeling like Jason’s trying to give me a warning, but I’m not sure exactly what it’s about.
Adam’s dad’s drinking and money situation don’t change how I feel about him.
I look at Jason sideways. “Well, he still has time to decide what he wants to do, right? And I’m sure he’ll be good at whatever he chooses whether that’s college or something else.
” Jason said Adam’s dad was a mechanic. Maybe Adam’s hands are stained from working on cars, too. “AP classes aren’t everything.”
“Oh, yeah.” Jason’s brow furrows. “I mean, he’s a hard worker for sure. It’s just—a lot, you know? Being homeless and having to completely make it on your own.”
“Well, he’s not on his own. He has you.” I hesitate. “Right?”
Jason sits up straight. “Right. That’s what I’m saying.” He waves a hand like I’m misunderstanding him. “We’ve been, like, ride or die, you know? He really likes you, so I think it’s important that you get what he’s been through. That you’re, like, prepared to be supportive and all that.”
My shoulders relax. It sounds like Jason is telling me all this because he sees me as a part of Adam’s life, and he wants to make sure I’ll be good for his best friend. “That’s really sweet of you to look out for him.”
“Well, I get the feeling you’ll be around for a while. So, we’ve got to look out for him.”
I smile, for the first time feeling like maybe Jason and I have a true connection.
When I first met him, he seemed like nothing but a frat-boy-in-training.
But deep down, he’s a good friend who would clearly do anything to protect Adam.
“Of course.” I look down at my hands, my cheeks flushing.
“I really, really like Adam. And I’m in.
” I lift my gaze to Jason. “You know, for looking out for him.”
“Okay, cool,” he says, holding out a fist for me to bump, transforming back into the frat boy, but I know better now.
I press my fist to his just as Adam returns with three sodas and a bag of chips.
Jason lunges off the couch. “Guess this is your seat.” He waves Adam onto the cushion next to me.
I cuddle up next to Adam, and the three of us have a good-natured argument over what movie to watch. Adam and Jason tease me about my romance movie picks, but in the end, they give in, and Jason presses play on Notting Hill .
“Is this our life now that we have a girl in the group?” Jason rolls his eyes as the opening credits pop up on the screen, but I can tell he’s joking. “Are we doomed to sappy romcoms forever?”
Adam grins, wrapping an arm around me. “I’m afraid so.
” He doesn’t look the least bit sorry about it, and my heart tugs at Jason’s words and the press of Adam’s hand against my hip.
A week ago, I didn’t know a soul at Maple Ridge High and worried my senior year would be a complete disaster.
And now I’m part of a group, one with good guys who look out for each other.
For the first time since my mom told me we were leaving Sandy Harbor and moving here, I’m not thinking about my old friends, feeling like I’m missing out.
Maybe everything really does happen for a reason, and here with Adam and Jason is exactly where I’m supposed to be.