Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
PRESENT DAY
Garrett
After tossing and turning all night, I sit bleary-eyed on my couch, nursing my third cup of coffee and going around and around in my head about the events of the night before.
I can’t believe I kissed her. I can’t believe she kissed me back, and I would have kept kissing her if she hadn’t backed away and fled for the house.
Thank God she backed away.
Because I couldn’t seem to slow what was happening.
Kissing her was like hopping on a surfboard.
One moment, you’re in control, and the next, you’re powerless, at nature’s mercy, and you just have to let it carry you along.
Last night, I would have let the force of Madeline carry me until I drowned.
She was the love of my life, and I knew a part of me would always feel that way, but I wasn’t prepared for how intensely I would be drawn to her again.
I press my hand to the sore spot on the back of my neck that always aches from bending over my worktable.
I gaze around the house that I built, from the cabinets I shaped and sanded with my own two hands to the furniture and art I painstakingly chose.
The mantel is covered in framed drawings that Ellery has given me over the years and a couple of photos of me surfing with Chloe and Ian.
Seventeen-year-old Adam would be amazed at how his life turned out.
Except the one person that kid was working so hard for is lost to him forever.
What I did last night wasn’t just stupid, it was dangerous.
Every minute Madeline stays here on Sandy Harbor puts everyone I love at risk.
She said she believes I’m not Adam, and I hope to God that’s true.
But if I’m being pulled by the undeniable force that had us crashing together a decade ago, she must be feeling it too.
So, what the hell was I thinking, dragging her against me, kissing her like I never wanted to let go?
I get up and pace across the room. The fact that I never want to let go is exactly what I was thinking.
Her nearness, her presence, has me as disoriented as I was at seventeen and could barely sit through class without obsessing over the curve of her hip, the swell of her breasts, her mouth hot on my skin.
I hear a low buzz from the other room that sounds like a phone.
Mine is on the table in front of me, so I wander into the bedroom to investigate.
I follow the sound to the chair in the corner where I dropped the jeans I was wearing last night.
Madeline and I were both so distracted, we forgot that I had tucked her phone in my pocket.
It buzzes again, and I glance at the screen. A text pops up over a series of others, and I stare at the name.
Jason.
It shouldn’t be a shock that he’s texting Madeline, the three of us were best friends. It makes perfect sense that he and Madeline kept in touch after Adam was gone. But why is he texting her now? Did she tell him her suspicions that I’m Adam?
I tap the screen, and though the phone is password-protected, I can still read the last text that came in.
I know I shouldn’t, but this is too urgent to ignore.
If Jason believes Adam is alive, it will definitely complicate things.
And if he comes here to poke around in my life, it will be a disaster. With a deep breath, I take a look.
I hope you know how much I love you and miss you. I’d do anything for you.
My head spins as I process the words in front of me. I should be relieved that Jason didn’t ask about me. Maybe he doesn’t know. But my heart only beats faster because the words, the familiarity of his tone all indicate that he and Madeline are close. More than friends.
He said, I love you.
He’d do anything for her.
Are Madeline and Jason a couple?
There are more texts before this one that might tell me for sure, but I know can’t read them.
I only looked in the first place to find out if Jason is planning to come to Sandy Harbor.
Since it doesn’t seem like that’s what he’s messaging to talk about, I have no right to snoop into Madeline’s life any further.
I already regret reading the little bit that I did.
It’s not like I didn’t expect Madeline to move on with her life.
I wanted her to find someone, to be happy after I was gone, especially since I knew I could never go back.
But Jason ? Jealousy burns in my gut as the questions ricochet around my head.
Of all the scenarios I imagined, this was never one of them.
But maybe it should have been. Would it have changed any of my choices? I did this to protect him and Madeline.
I pace across the room and back, and then retrace my steps.
By the time I head back into the living room for my third loop, I’ve calmed myself down.
Jason was a good friend. My best friend.
He was always looking out for me. He was there when my dad died, when I had literally nobody, and I can’t imagine what I would have done without him during that terrible time.
Maybe he always cared about Madeline, but he never would have acted on it if I were still around.
And after I was gone, who could blame him?
The two of them were probably devastated.
It kills me that I had to do that to them, but I had no choice.
So they would have been leaning on each other, and maybe they grew closer.
I hate the idea of it, but maybe I’d hate it more if Madeline had ended up with a stranger.
At least I know Jason is a good guy, and that he’s been looking out for her.
I’m happy for them, I really am.
So, why can’t I shake the feeling that Jason was just waiting to make a move on Madeline, and when I disappeared, he found the perfect opportunity?