Chapter Fourteen
THE LAST TIME I thought about marriage, it was with Curtis.
We were going to get married one day. Or maybe we already were.
Who knows what counts as legal authority when you’re living in the woods?
If there was an officialness we were waiting for, it was working up the nerve to tell my mum, because in our heads, it was a done deal.
We were teenagers and we were married and we were idiots.
This proposal—if it is one—is just as reckless.
What would be the best reaction right now? Laugh it off? Punch Sid in the arm? The face? I keep waiting for the bubble to pop. This can’t be real—so why is he still wearing that stricken expression? And why haven’t I said anything?
I clear my throat, my voice startlingly calm. “But… but Tom wouldn’t let that slide, would he? He’ll give me another demerit or—”
Sid shrugs. “Demerits measure how much of a flight risk you are. You would actually lose a demerit if we got married.”
“You’re kidding.”
“You would lose the second one if you got pregnant.”
My body launches into the air. By the time Sid has a chance to react, I’ve put a couple metres between us.
“I’m not suggesting it! These are the legal facts.
Do you want to know the legal facts of your situation?
” He gestures wildly, face burning red. “They take it as a sign that you’re integrating into the nation if you settle down and have kids with another citizen.
Salt Spring still needs people, it’s just…
they expect gratitude. They need people who can prove they want to be here.
Which, by your own admission, you don’t. ”
“I’m not sleeping with you.” I meant to say marrying. I’m not marrying him.
“Obviously not! It’s fine, Kayla. You’ve clearly got a lot of trauma around sex or—or something. Frankly, I have no interest in dealing with—”
“Excuse me?” I fold my arms. “I do not have—”
“You shot me on sight at the border”—Sid holds up his scarred hand—“just for talking to your sister! Like I was trying to cart you two off like a pair of virgin sacrifices. If that isn’t some post-sex cult bullshit—”
“Whatever! Fine, it doesn’t matter. We’re in agreement.
We’re not going to sleep together so—so what’s the point of all this?
” I take a step closer, not because I want to be near him, but because I would rather only the crickets eavesdrop on us.
“I’d do a lot of stupid shit to save April.
But you can’t want to marry me. Why are we even talking about this? ”
He’s silent. I let out a sigh, because at last, something I’ve said has killed this foolishness. I was almost starting to consider it. Losing a demerit and getting insulin for April? Doesn’t sound half bad.
“I’m not a virgin, by the way,” I blurt out.
Sid’s eyebrows lift. “Oh?”
“And it wasn’t what you’re thinking. He was a nice boy. I loved him.”
“You’re still not telling me everything.”
“He was the only one,” I say resolutely, and it’s true. We got out of Astolia before I could be bartered off. “But I’ve got a right to protect myself, haven’t I?”
“You do. Of course, you do.”
I breathe in the cold night air, trying to clear my head. If we can think of one solution—well, more like fever dream—we can come up with another.
I sit next to him on the log bench. “Is there anything else I should know about my legal situation?” When he remains quiet, I try to butter him up with a compliment, to make up for the fact that I screamed for all the world that I never want to have sex with him.
“You know a lot about that stuff. It’s really helpful. ”
It doesn’t work. He gives a snort and shakes his head.
I sigh. “Sid…”
He turns to look at me, eyes steely with sincerity. “I would do it.”
“What?”
“Marry you. With whatever boundaries you needed. I would do it.”
A claw closes around my heart. The chance for this to be a joke passed a long time ago. “But… why?”
He hesitates for a second, as if he knows that sharing this might send us down a path we can’t escape. But ultimately, he pulls something from his pocket—the letter Carlos brought him earlier this afternoon. “This is why.”
I know even less what to expect than I did with my own letter. The stamp in the corner resembles the one that adorned mine, only this one comes from the Office of Elections.
Dear Mr. Charles,
This letter is to inform you that your application to run in the upcoming general election of Salt Spring Island and her Gulf Island Territories has been approved.
Per your request, your name will be eligible for a position on the general council.
Constituents will have the opportunity to select your name from a ranked ballot—
The letter goes on, but it’s more detail than I care about. “Holy shit, Sid!”
“Yeah.”
“So you don’t just read court cases for fun. You want to be in government.”
“I really do.”
“But why?” I’m not sure if this is a stupid question or not. Clearly the people in control of the colony wield a lot of power—look at Tom Sullivan—but with all the paperwork, most of the job seems like miserable pencil pushing to me.
“I’ve told you that the boys and I are outsiders, right?”
“Yes.”
He takes another drag on his cigarette. “We weren’t that different from you and April when we got here.
The kids were young back then, so Silas, James and I applied to foster them together, but we weren’t technically their guardians when we arrived, and we weren’t citizens, so it was a flat no.
Even when we got citizenship, it took forever to get the crew back together.
Tom was willing to work with us, but the boys had their own host families and half of them disputed our case.
The court decision was that we had to prove we had secure housing and a bunch of other shit before we could take them.
So, we worked that border job for years, trying to scrape enough money together to apply for an acreage.
But this place? It’s still better than most. It survived the end of the world and has the human decency to give people a chance. ”
He gestures at the pond, but I’m sure he means more than that. The whole island. A quiet, peaceful place that, for all my protesting, is the safest I’ve felt in years. We’re so removed from the problems on the mainland and larger islands. Barricaded into paradise.
“Last year, we finally got the acreage, and everyone moved in. It’s all we wanted, but I still broke my back for years to get what this place promised me when I first came.”
There’s an undercurrent of anger in his voice, and yet I don’t think he regrets it.
He’s fiercely protective, if anything, and it makes me want to lean in closer.
I shift so that my body faces his, even though he’s still fixated on some abstract point in the distance.
“And that’s why you want to get into government? ”
“Yeah. I spent years fighting with red tape and people’s preconceptions.
And obviously, I’m not unique.” He uses his cigarette to indicate me.
“Salt Spring is the best place I’ve ever lived, but it could be better.
It should be. So now that I’ve been a citizen for long enough, I’m running for office. ”
I’ve never heard someone sound so pissed off and so hopeful at the same time. It’s not a combination I know how to parse. “And you think they’ll actually let you join the government?”
“If I get elected, they have to.”
“But people in power don’t just give that up.”
He laughs, which seems an odd reaction. But maybe I’m showing my ignorance about how this place works yet again.
“No, but if I run a good enough campaign, I might stand a chance. Tom’s even been giving me some pointers.” He rolls his eyes. “He considers me one of his great success stories.”
“Seriously?” I snort. “Honestly, I think I would rather just have him hate me.”
“It’s not all bad. He’s been on council since the Quake, so he knows how to get elected,” says Sid.
“And he figures the biggest thing in my way is optics. I’m a big, scary dude and by most people’s standards, still a newcomer.
I could use something that softens my image.
” And then he winces, as if the next words are painful. “I could use a wife.”
“Oh.” And so we arrive at the heart of the matter.
“You and your sister? You’re kind of perfect. I would get a wife and kid in a two-for-one deal. Even the fact that she’s sick is helpful. People eat that shit up.”
“That’s terrible!”
“I know. But it’s true. You would be very, very good for optics.”
It’s the least sexy thing a man has ever said to me, yet my cheeks flush. “And… there’s no one you would rather marry?”
“No one who wants me.”
“Shit.” So that’s why he’s willing to settle for my frigid company.
I’m also curious how this can even be true, because Sid is a decent man.
Even if he wasn’t, he’s a tall, jacked, blonde-haired, blue-eyed specimen.
Women have settled for far less. There should be someone out there willing to marry him.
But she isn’t here. Instead, his earnest eyes are fixed on someone who only wants to use him for his citizenship.
I falter from his gaze. “But won’t people be suspicious? Could we get in trouble?”
“Hypothetically, yes. But you’ve lived here a month already. It’s the end of the world. People get married fast all the time. Once you find someone, what’s the point in waiting?”
Like me and Curtis. If we’d waited, we never would have had any of the happiness we got to share.
I shove the thought of him away. It only makes this conversation more painful.
“So we’d need to make people believe we’re actually in love with each other.”
“Yeah. I guess we would.”
I swallow, terrified at how seriously I’m considering his offer. “You’ve studied this legal stuff, right?”
“Basically since the moment I got here.”
“So… you would tell me if there was some other way? A different loophole? Something easier than…”