Chapter 35
Thirty-Five
Emory
I released a sigh as I sat staring down at my bike.
I’d been debating for a couple of weeks now about what to do with it.
I loved this bike. I loved the freedom it had bought me.
But I loved Enoch more and I couldn’t keep chasing a high on the road when I knew it scared him.
When it, if I was honest, scared me a little bit too.
Because until he stepped back into my life, I’d never cared about what happened to me on the road.
But now that I had something, someone, to live for, I didn’t want to take the same risks with my life.
I wiped at a water spot on one of the mirrors before swinging my leg over and standing. I gave her another long look, checking for any imperfections, wiping at any dirt or water marks I thought might show in pictures.
When I was satisfied that she looked good enough to photo I finally walked up to the entrance of Black Widow Tattoo. A bell rang over my head, alerting everyone inside to my presence as the sound of heavy metal music filled my ears.
A man at the counter, with surprisingly no visible tattoos but a bunch of facial piercings, gave me a nod.
“Hey, you got an appointment?”
“Yeah,” I said, removing my helmet and shaking out my braid that I’d tucked into my jacket. “With Cole.”
“For sure,” he nodded. Picking up his phone in what looked to be him notifying Cole of my arrival with a text message. I noticed his gaze linger on my bike helmet as I tucked it against my side.
“You ride?”
“Nah, my girlfriend does.”
I nodded, “I’m looking to sell my bike if she’s interested. Or if you know anyone. Just let Cole know and he’ll give you details.”
“Let me know what?” Cole asked, coming down the hallway behind the desk.
“Oh, um, I was just telling your coworker that I’m selling my bike if he knows anyone that’s interested.”
“What?!” His brows disappeared behind his bangs as he closed the space between us and pulled me in for a hug. He let go quickly, once he realized I wasn’t reciprocating and cleared his throat. “Sorry. I forget you’re not a hugger. Um, well, come on and we can get started.”
The guy behind the counter gave me a lazy wave as I followed Cole across the space and into the part of the building that was divided into rooms for the artists to have privacy as they worked.
I sighed as I stepped into Cole’s space, dropping my helmet onto a chair against one wall, and shrugged out of my riding jacket. With the door shut, it was relatively quiet.
“So, you upgrading already?” he asked, sitting on a rolling chair as he motioned for me to take a seat in the client chair. I hopped on, making myself comfortable as he unlocked his iPad from the desk beside him. He rolled the chair over, using his feet, and stopped in front of me.
His brows raised and I realized I hadn’t responded.
“Um, no. Actually, I’m just going to sell it. I only rode it over here thinking you might be able to take some pictures and post it online for me.”
He pouted, “But then I’ll be alone on the road.”
I rolled my eyes, mouth twitching to smile. “Shut up. You have an entire group of friends who ride. We’ve literally gone on, like, what? Six rides together? And that was just when I had freshly gotten my license and you were too scared to leave me on the road alone.”
He clicked his tongue and handed me the iPad.
“Take a look, make sure it looks perfect before I print the stencil out.”
I nodded, studying his work. It really was perfect. Everything that I had wanted it to be. A raven outside it’s cage, eating carrion, a bleeding heart in its beak, and a tag around it’s leg that read 0620.
The day I was set free, and the day that Enoch returned to me.
I smiled, excited butterflies in my belly as I handed it back to him.
“It’s perfect. Seriously. I can’t wait.”
Cole smiled widely, rolling back to his computer to print the stencil.
“So…you’re really selling her?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “It’s a risk I’m just not interested in taking anymore.”
“Your boyfriend, Nox, he’s not making you sell it, right?”
I rolled my eyes with a scoff. “Please. He doesn’t make me do anything.”
Cole turned to look over his shoulder at me with a smirk, “I hope he makes you do at least one thing.”
“What?”
“Finish,” he said with a wiggle of his brows.
I flipped him off, my cheeks heating.
“You’re so fucking adorable to tease. You can’t hide your blush and I love it.”
“Fuck off, Cole,” I scowled.
He just laughed and brought the stencil over.
“Things going good with him?” he asked as he stopped in front of me once more, his knees popping through the holes on his jeans as he propped them up on the legs of the chair.
I smiled automatically, “Yeah. Really good. I’m…happy.”
“Are you happy because of him, or happy with life in general?”
I paused to think. “Both? I mean, he’s definitely a big reason why I’m happy, but…It’s hard to explain.”
“Well, I’m happy you’re happy. Forearm, right?”
I looked down, holding out my right arm and explained where I wanted the tattoo to start on the inside of my forearm. After he placed it and I went to look in the mirror I returned to the seat. He put on a clean pair of gloves, the rubber snapping over his hands and he took a breath.
“Just let me know when you need a break,” he said with a smile before adjusting my arm on the small, cushioned table. The tattoo gun switched on, and a whirring filled the room.
A surge of adrenaline spiked in my veins and my heart raced.
“You know, I used to have a crush on you,” he said, over the buzz of the gun. I stared as the needle touched the blue stencil ink.
The pain.
The delicious pain.
Holy fuck.
My eyes rolled back and I sighed, relaxing back into the chair as the endorphins hit.
“Em?” he asked, removing the gun from my skin.
I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me with concern.
“Did I break you? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“W-what?” I asked, trying to rewind the conversation in my mind to figure out the last thing he’d said.
“I’m sorry if that’s weird of me to say. But you don’t have to worry about anything. I mean, I’ve never made a move on you.”
My brows knitted in confusion, and I eyed the gun.
Just put the fucking needle back into my skin!
“Uh-huh,” I nodded absently. “Sure. Not worried at all.”
“Good,” he said with a relieved smile, returning to his work.
The gun switched on and my breath caught in my chest.
Holy fucking shit.
My heart was racing, and I began to sweat.
My brain suddenly caught up to the conversation in the room, and I ripped my eyes open.
“Wait? What do you mean make a move on me? You liked me?”
Cole snorted, “Jesus. You really know how to crush a man’s balls.
Yeah. I mean, who wouldn’t? What’s not to like?
We have a lot in common: we listen to the same bands, we’re both adrenaline junkies, and we’ve both got a fucked-up sense of humor.
Plus, you’re fucking smoking hot, Emory.
Like, Jesus Christ, you’re the perfect package. ”
I took a moment to assess Cole while his attention was occupied. Tall, brown skin, dark cropped hair, covered in tattoos and several piercings in his ears. He was dressed in a pair of tight jeans, gaping holes in the knees, and a loose-fitting black graphic t-shirt.
He was objectively attractive. But I’d never considered him as a potential boyfriend. I hadn’t considered anyone as a potential boyfriend other than Enoch.
“I had no idea you had a crush on me,” I finally said.
He licked his lips, “Figures. I didn’t think you liked me in that way.”
“We’re you disappointed when you found out I was seeing someone?”
He hummed a sighed, “Maybe a little bit. I’d gotten over my crush for the most part like a year ago when it was clear that you weren’t interested in dating. I wish I’d taken my shot to ask you out a long time ago, but I am genuinely happy for you.”
I nodded, “Thanks. You’re a really good person, Cole.
I hope you find the perfect girl too. It’s really not personal, like, that I didn’t notice you liked me.
I just…literally wasn’t interested in anyone.
I guess I never got over my ex, he was the one that got away.
And now he’s back and I’m…” I took a breath.
“I’m holding onto the motherfucker for life. ”
He chuckled under his breath, dipping the needle into the ink pot before replacing it against my skin.
The pain was dull.
Too dull.
The high was receding despite the continued sting of the needle moving across my arm, and I screamed in my head.
I stared at the needle, wishing it’d go deeper, wishing it was sharper.
I needed more.
And it was pissing me off that I couldn’t get another high from this kind of pain.
My eyes snagged on the X-Acto knife on his workstation tray and my heart skipped a beat.
“Can you stop shaking your foot?”
I blinked. My body tensed as I realized that he was right. I had been shaking my foot.
Fuck. What am I doing?
This is wrong.
I’m supposed to be clean. Not getting a fucking high from pain.
Fuck!
“Stop.”
Cole immediately raised both his hands, sitting up to look at me.
“What’s wrong?” His eyes studied me and fear made my lungs constrict.
Could he see it?
Could he tell that I was a fucking junkie for pain?
That I needed more so fucking badly I was contemplating stealing his knife to cut myself?
“I need to stop.”
“O-okay,” he nodded, turning off the gun.
I was sweating, hands clammy and I cracked my knuckles, controlling the urge to actually steal the knife a foot away from me.
“You bring any water or food? You look a little…woozy.”
I removed my eyes from the knife and shook my head.
“Fuck, I…” Just fucking say the words, you weak puta! “I’m sorry about this. I need to stop today. Can we be done? Right now?”
“Of course,” he said, brows furrowed with confusion as he placed the tattoo gun on his tray and picked up a spray bottle and paper towels.