Chapter 32 #3
“I told you about her childhood, what more do I need to say?” Sebastian asked with frustration.
“Okay, but did she explicitly say something happened recently,” my dad asked patiently, in his voice I recognized as ‘Agent Reznikovsky’.
“She didn’t spell it out, but it was implied,” Sebastian muttered.
“Look, if you can just sit down with us, explain to her that she has options, maybe she’ll be able to give you something that will let me step in as her temporary guardian until she’s eighteen.
She’s…” Sebastian sighed heavily, and I realized he must be crying because my dad squeezed his arm and held it there in comfort.
“She’s got no one else and I want—I need to protect her. ”
This is definitely about Shiloh.
I don’t know why I was so jealous of the fact that Sebastian knew something that I didn’t, something clearly important enough to try and get her removed from her home. I should’ve been happy that he was trying to get her help, but I was sad that I wasn’t the one to do it.
“Look,” my dad said with a sigh. “I would be happy to sit down with her and you but only if she’s willing. And you don’t even know that she wants you to intervene.”
“That’s why she needs to know that she’ll be protected, she’ll be safe,” Sebastian stressed.
Wait, help her with what exactly? What the hell is she dealing with that she would need protection? Like, from her dad?
“I understand. But you need to prepare yourself for the fact that she might not want to leave. She’s nearly an adult, there’s really not much that we can do without any proof that there’s anything wrong where she is. I’ve already asked her about any drug use, but she’s denied it.”
What? When did he ask her that?
There was a pause before my dad spoke again. “You don’t know how she feels, do you?”
“No,” Sebastian replied dejectedly.
“It’s great that you care so much about her.
And I know you just want to help, but it isn’t as simple as saying she wants to leave home.
There’s rules, protocols. And there’s no guarantee that the court would even grant you custody.
It’s a long bureaucratic process, are you sure you want to go through that? Does Eden know about this?”
“Yes, I’ve told her, and we’ve talked about it.
She’s on board. I just want Shiloh to know she has options.
She can have a better future if she wants it.
” He sighed with such dejection I was half-tempted to walk over and give him a hug myself.
“I don’t want to push her and cause her to shut down, but maybe she’ll listen to you if I’m there.
I can try and persuade her to talk to you. ”
“You’ve got a big heart, Sebastian. And I know she clearly means a lot to you. So, yes. If you can get her to talk to me, I’d be happy to have a more direct conversation with her.”
“Thank you,” Sebastian said, letting my dad pull him into a hug.
“Now cheer up, birthday boy. We’re supposed to look surprised here in a minute so our wives feel like they’ve succeeded.”
Sebastian pulled away, wiping his face and chuckled.
“Alright. Alright. How’s this?”
Sebastian made a mock surprise expression, and my dad grimaced. “Could you try just a little bit harder?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes and turned my dad towards the house.
Shiloh needs help. I just need to find out what exactly she needs help with, and how to get her to accept it.
I’m tired of being left in the dark. I’m going to get answers one way or another.
???
November 19, Friday
Shiloh
I jumped when I felt arms around my shoulders but relaxed at the sound of Seb’s voice.
“Hey, güerita,” he sang, resting his chin on top of my head.
I cringed at the nickname, instantly reminded of when Peter called me that while his dick was in my mouth. Vacant brown eyes stared at me.
Fuck, shut up!
“How does justice feel, Shiloh?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath before slowly releasing it.
“Hey, Seb. Happy birthday.”
He sighed, squeezing me gently for a moment. “Thanks. I…I can’t help but think about you and him though. It just sucks knowing he’s not here and he won’t ever get a chance to celebrate another birthday.”
My heart broke inside my chest, tears starting to form and I clenched my jaw tightly. Do not fucking cry, you weak fucking puta. You will not ruin his party.
Eden entered carrying a cake and the room grew silent. Seb kissed the top of my head as the crowd began singing happy birthday to him. He straightened, chuckling as he took the empty chair beside me where Eden placed the cake already lit with candles.
I felt like someone was watching me. I scanned the kitchen to see that Enoch was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest staring at us. He gave me a quick smile when our eyes met before the song ended. I turned to see Seb blow out his candles and everyone clapped.
How the fuck am I supposed to just leave them? Leave this bubble of happiness, leave these people that actually give a damn about me?
Hell, tonight could be the last night we’re even together. I could be leaving for RLS come Sunday.
Fuck! I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
I forced a smile when Seb looked my way, offering me a slice of cake. I stared at the chocolate cake with white frosting and resisted the urge to throw it across the room. I was an imposter, a fraud, and the guilt of everything I’d done and was yet to do when I left them was suffocating me.
???
I sighed in relief as I slipped into a pair of Enoch’s sweats.
My stomach was way too full to be comfortable in my high waisted leggings a minute longer.
I glanced in the mirror at my reflection, trying to smooth out the braid I had ruffled after removing my sweatshirt.
I let out a huff, switching the light off and heading back to the living room.
Enoch was putting a fitted sheet on the pull-out couch, only wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants, his muscles in his back flexing as he lifted the mattress to tuck the sheet underneath.
“Hey,” he said, checking out my new outfit with a smile.
I smiled, walking towards the bed and picking up a pillow from the floor to put on a fresh pillowcase.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to sleep with you?” I asked. “I mean, sleep in the bed with you.”
He smirked at my words and laughed softly.
“I’ve been severely warned against unprotected sex by any and every adult in my life after my sister got unexpectedly pregnant in college.
So, no one cares. Least of all my sister.
She’s not the type to cockblock. Not that we’re actually having sex tonight.
” He threw the pillow in his hands at me and chuckled.
“Relax. It’s okay. Unless you’re uncomfortable? I can always take the floor.”
My stomach flipped and I shook my head, not sure what to say without sounding like a dumbass.
Yeah, no, I love sleeping next to you, Enoch. It’s the best feeling in the world. I love it when you hold me until we fall asleep. I love waking up next to you knowing I’m safe. I like pretending that this is my real life, that I can stay here with you forever.
I cleared my throat, throwing the pillow onto the side of the bed I was going to sleep on and sat down as Enoch shook out the comforter on top of me.
When he was done, he switched off the overhead light and climbed in beside me.
I made myself comfortable, staring into the darkness as my eyes adjusted.
“Did you have a good time?”
I sighed through my nose and rolled my eyes.
“For the millionth fucking time, yes. I had a great time, Enoch. And I was thoroughly doted on by not only Baba but also Rosa. I swear, your Baba thinks I’m actually her grandchild with how much concern she had when she found out I’d been sick the other day.
Thanks for that by the way,” I said with a sarcastic smile in his direction.
“I think she would have force fed me thirds if I hadn’t told her I was on the verge of puking my stomach was so full. ”
I could finally see enough in the dimly lit room to make out his face about eight inches away from mine. He chuckled, the mint from his toothpaste fanning over my face.
“Good. You deserve to be doted on.”
I rolled my eyes, and he adjusted his position on the mattress, scooting a couple inches closer to me.
“So, you mentioned earlier with Jae that you were going to get a job after graduation. Are you planning to move out then?”
I furrowed my brows, squinting into the darkness, wishing I could read his face to see where his line of questioning was going.
“Yeah, I’m planning to move out as soon as I can,” I said. It wasn’t a lie, just not the whole truth.
“Are you excited? I hear adulting isn’t as fun as it seems.”
“Uh.” I paused in thought for a moment. “I think I’m excited for a new chapter.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know. No more school. No more fuckwits telling us what to do with our lives. It’d be nice to have a little control,” I explained.
Enoch suddenly reached out and grabbed my hand that was picking at the fuzz on the comforter. He placed it in the space between our chests and began tracing the outline of my fingers.
“Do you think you’ll stay in town?” He asked.
I shrugged, adding an ‘I dunno’ when I realized he might not be able to see the motion. Of course I wasn’t going to stay in town, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. He’d only ask questions. More questions I didn’t have answers to that I could give him.
“You know a lot about my family, I mean, Eden spent twenty minutes telling you about how she used to dress me up in princess costumes as a kid and parade me around the neighborhood.” I chuckled and he rolled his eyes. “Tell me more about yours. Is it just you and your dad now?”
For fuck’s sake.
I let out a deep breath, trying to calm the uneasiness in my stomach and answered him. “Yeah. My mom left the day she brought me home from the hospital.”
“Really?” Enoch said with shock.
“Well, maybe not literally. But I’m pretty sure it was like a few days after my birth,” I said. My mother’s absence didn’t mean much to me, but it seemed to bother Enoch as he squeezed my hand as if I needed comfort.
“I take it that’s where you got your red hair?” He asked.
“Technically you get red hair from both parents,” I corrected.
“I know this is gonna sound super ignorant,” I know where this is going. “But I didn’t realize there were Latino redheads. I know there’s like a huge population of them in Russia actually, and of course, like, Scotland or whatever, but…Mexico?”
I laughed softly. “Yeah, you and pretty much everyone else who finds out my dad isn’t white say the same thing.”
“So…” he trailed off waiting for me to explain.
“You have to inherit the gene from both parents. There’s a theory about how it comes from the Spanish that colonized Latin America, but somewhere along the line my dad got the genetic mutation passed down to him. Then he fucked my mom, a ginger, and here I am.”
“Jeez, you make it sound so, I dunno, vulgar,” Enoch said with disgust.
“What? Fucking?” I asked with a smirk, his reaction funny to me for some reason. “What would you rather me say, ‘they made love’?”
Enoch snorted, “No, although that’s better than fucking.” I could feel him cringing as he said it. “Is it true that redheads, you know…” he trailed off, and I reached behind him.
“You just slapped my butt!” he exclaimed in surprise. “You’re lucky I like it rough, or I’d make you sleep on the floor.”
“Shut up, shitbird. You were just going to ask if my pubes are red too weren’t you, Enoch?” I whisper-shouted with disapproval, only partly serious.
He scoffed, releasing my hand he had still been idly playing with, and shoved my shoulder. “I was going to ask if it was true that redheads were going extinct,” he said matter-of-factly. “But since you mentioned it…”
I shoved him back hard, and he broke into laughter. I joined in, shoving him again and he quieted down, shushing the both of us.
“Alright, alright, truce,” he sighed, placing his hand on my lower back and scooting us closer together until we were touching. “How come you call me, Enoch?”
I slipped my leg on top of his hip without thinking about it. There was probably something wrong with me for starting to get turned on, but I recognized the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.
Jesus, Shiloh. Getting nervous and turned on pressed against Enoch’s body, what is wrong with you?
When’s the last time I even came? Well…no, shut up. You’re not counting those times. You were high out of your fucking mind.
It’s probably just pent-up sexual frustration or whatever. It’s normal for teenagers to get horny. Especially when they’re lying on top of super attractive shirtless boys.
Stop, Shiloh. You can’t get horny right now you sick fucker.
I cleared my throat. “That’s your name, idiot.”
“I know. But everyone else calls me Nox.”
“Or Enushka,” I chuckled.
“Only Baba calls me that,” he sighed but I could see the smile on his lips. “Enoch is so formal.”
I hummed in thought. “I dunno. It just kind of started in my head one day and it stuck. I guess it’s like a nickname, but, like, in reverse since it’s just the full version of your name. Does it bother you?”
“No.” He ran his hand up the length of my back a few times before continuing. “I didn’t think I liked my name until I heard you say it. I like that no one else but you says my name like that.”
I smiled to myself, the butterflies erupting again in my belly.
I wish I could keep him forever. I tucked my chin into his warm chest, nuzzling further, practically entirely on top of his chest, his arms wrapping around my back and holding me securely.
His heart was beating steadily, and I focused on it as I thought about his questions the other day.
“Does it bother, I mean, when I told you that I’d been with someone else, did you think like….I dunno, were you…” I struggled to finish the sentence, huffing in frustration and Enoch ran a hand through my hair.
“Shiloh, I would never judge you for having sex, if that’s what you’re worried about. That doesn’t change how I feel about you, so long as you’re not sleeping with other people when we’re together. I mean, if that happens, you know. If you want,” Enoch trailed off, his confidence wavering.
It sent a wave of nausea crashing over me, hearing him talk about our future. The one that would never become a reality. Because I was fucking courting a man ten-years my senior that I was hoping to marry soon.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. I couldn’t manage to say anything else, afraid I might throw up or cry.
Just enjoy this moment, Shiloh. You’ve got to cut ties after this.
He squeezed me gently, kissing the top of my head, before I eventually found sleep beckoning and gave in.