Chapter Forty #2
‘It’s – it’s brilliant,’ he said, recovering himself and smiling at Esme. ‘I love it. Thank you, Esme.’
Esme responded with a smile and bashed her blocks on Penguin.
‘And there’s this. I think you can guess what it is.’
Molly handed over a rectangular present, which Flynn unwrapped, even though he could have bet the Harley on what was inside.
It was a photograph of Molly and Esme at the Winter Spectacular, Molly pointing at the reindeer on the grotto.
It was a photo so full of joy and life that he felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes and struggled to reply.
‘It’s at Ravendale. Obviously,’ Molly said, smiling. ‘I thought it was one of the best of us together and, being at the castle, I thought you’d like it, and that you wouldn’t have a photo yet.’
‘I do – I – love it. It’s perfect. Thank you.’
Brenda fetched a tray of mugs and slices of Christmas cake, which Flynn didn’t dare refuse. It was lovely cake and Brenda had made it herself, but he was too full of emotion to eat much.
After, he helped Molly clear up wrapping paper and packaging from the carpet. Esme was already rubbing her eyes and ready for her bottle and bed.
Brenda went back into the kitchen, leaving Molly alone with Flynn again while she gave Esme her milk.
‘I am sorry about what happened. I honestly was going to tell Mum and I did try to warn you.’
‘I know.’
‘Would you have come over if you’d found out she was here?
’ Molly asked, allowing Esme to hold her own bottle.
Her eyes were fixed on Flynn while she was drinking and his heart did that squeeze of love that always took him by surprise by its suddenness and intensity.
He already knew he’d die for them both if he had to and that was terrifying.
‘I – probably would have waited for a more convenient time,’ he said tactfully.
‘I thought so. It’s been a shock for you and Mum, and I’m not looking forward to what she’ll have to say later. I bet you want to talk to her …’
‘You could say that. But today isn’t the moment.’
‘Nan says she’ll come round.’
‘Yeah.’
‘And that it hasn’t been fair to keep you in the dark about me.
I wish I’d asked Mum to get in contact sooner.
I never wanted to upset her … but when this one came along, I realised how much being a parent means.
I wasn’t even sure if you’d want to get to know us after all this time, but I’m glad you did. ’
‘So am I,’ Flynn said.
Molly took Esme to bed, allowing Flynn to kiss her cheek.
In the brief moment before Brenda and Imogen returned to the lounge, Flynn looked around, experiencing one of the many ‘pinch-me’ moments he’d had lately.
The artificial tree in the window, bedecked with tinsel and baubles, and the cards from people he’d never met but who meant a lot to his new family.
The card and photo on the sofa next to him: this was his family now.
Imogen and Brenda returned, but Flynn refused the offer of cheese and sausage rolls, saying he was still stuffed after the Ravendale Christmas dinner.
His appetite wasn’t great and he had the feeling he’d outstayed his welcome – with Imogen at least. Brenda wanted him to take a ‘doggy bag’ of buffet snacks, and he didn’t want to offend her, so he accepted it.
Molly hugged him. Brenda gave him a smile and thanked him for coming warmly enough for him to know she meant it.
Imogen stood by in the hall, arms folded, like a shaken bottle of pop about to go off.
Esme had started to cry, so Molly trotted upstairs. Brenda seemed to have conveniently vanished and only Imogen remained.
‘I’ll let myself out,’ Flynn said, picking up his helmet from the coat rack.
‘I need to talk to you.’
‘We both need to talk,’ he said calmly. ‘That’s the understatement of the year, but I thought we’d agreed now wasn’t the best time.’
‘Yes, but I want you to know something now.’ Imogen folded her arms. ‘I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t I tell you about Molly? I bet you hate me.’
Flynn hesitated. ‘I don’t hate anyone and Molly’s given me some idea why you kept her existence a secret, but, yeah, I’d like to hear it from you. You could have got in touch as soon as you found me on social media. Maybe before then.’
‘I could have but I didn’t. I managed to bring up Molly on my own. We were a one-night stand – there was never going to be an ‘us’. We had no future. We were young and our hormones were in overdrive. You were handsome and I fancied you rotten, but let’s face it, you could have been anyone.’
Flynn snorted. ‘Jesus, Imogen. Don’t hold back!’ Remembering where he was, he lowered his voice. ‘Yeah, I could have been any man but I wasn’t. I’m not. You could have given me the benefit of the doubt and asked me if I wanted to be part of my child’s future.’
‘I could have but I decided not to. I had to carry Molly and give birth to her and, once I’d got used to bringing her up on my own – and with Mum’s help – I realised I didn’t need a man in my life.’
‘Did you not think Molly might have needed a father in hers?’
Imogen pressed her lips together. ‘Of course I thought about that, but even after we knew where you were and how to contact you, I couldn’t tell you.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I was scared you’d try to take Molly and Esme away from us. I still am. You can hate me for that if you like, but I love them too much to see them hurt.’
‘I’ll never hurt them.’ Flynn could not help his sense of injustice and loss, but his overriding emotion was sadness for the time he’d lost – and despair that Imogen had decided he was the kind of man she could never trust to be a parent to his daughter.
‘I’m part of their lives now and I intend to stick around.
And it’s going to take a long time for us all to get used to this – but it’s what Molly wants and I have no intention of missing a moment more of her life or Esme’s. ’
He stomped down the path and got on his bike, revving the engine a bit too hard, knowing it would probably disturb the neighbours.
It was childish but he didn’t care: tonight had been way more turbulent than he’d ever imagined.
He’d held his emotions together for so long, trying to be the grown-up in the situation, and now the dam had burst. And the one person he wanted to be with right now, the person he knew would soothe and calm him, was Lara.