Chapter Forty-six
Flynn sank back against the sofa, feeling as if someone had pulled a plug out of his body and drained his last reserves of energy. He wasn’t used to feeling exhausted and not wanting to get up off the sofa, and he hated it.
He was grateful for the concern of his family – old and new – but the past couple of hours had literally floored him.
The cottage wasn’t big enough for three people, let alone six, and when his parents had arrived while Molly, Imogen and Esme were still there, the conflicting emotions and agendas had totally overwhelmed the space and Flynn himself.
Esme had been wailing because she was teething and tired – Flynn knew how she felt.
Molly had chattered away nervously, wanting everyone to get along, while Imogen had been sullen, and his own mother had barely been able to be polite.
His father had tried to be jolly and ended up making awkward jokes that only served to make a tense situation worse.
As for Lara, she’d rushed off, clearly feeling out of place and eager to escape the whole desperate situation. Flynn didn’t blame her but he was eaten up with frustration.
There was so much he wanted to say to her. To tell her the person he’d longed to see at his bedside was her. He’d been on the verge of saying how much he felt for her when Molly and the others had descended.
How could he tell her that, while he’d lain there, he’d wanted her to hold him? Maybe that was for the best. It wouldn’t be fair to Lara when he couldn’t give her the commitment she truly deserved and that he wanted to give.
Now that he’d experienced the whole of his family, old and new, descending on him, he was even more aware of how much he’d taken on and how he could not expect her to deal with that. He was also pretty helpless at the moment, which made him feel even more vulnerable.
He closed his eyes and tried not to think of how much his knee – and his head – ached. He picked up the bottle of painkillers by his side, tossed some down with a sip from a bottle of water, and lay back against the cushion.
The following morning brought a solution to one of his problems at least. Lara had arranged for his parents to move to a vacant holiday cottage the previous evening, which gave everyone some space.
His pills had worked, the pain was easing, and while he wouldn’t be carrying his toolkit up the tower stairs anytime soon, he was able to hobble around the cottage on his own.
The previous day, Fiona and Henry had thoughtfully messaged him, suggesting he might like to rest and settle in before they visited him. Flynn had gratefully accepted the offer. He managed a shave and a wash on his own and his parents took a stroll around the estate while he saw the Penhaligons.
They arrived bearing a basket of treats, which Fiona described as ‘Just a few home comforts – cake, biscuits, tea and coffee you can all share.’
‘You’ve used up one of your lives there,’ Henry said, sitting down opposite him.
‘I must admit I’ve had a few close shaves, but that was probably the closest,’ Flynn admitted.
‘I once came off, you know. I was riding an old Triumph over the fells from Coniston and hit a patch of gravel on the moor road. Didn’t have the high-tech lids you lot wear today. Was knocked unconscious. Wonder I wasn’t a goner.’
Fiona let out a squeak of horror. ‘Henry, that’s enough. That’s the last thing Flynn needs to hear. Ignore him.’
Henry looked chastened, but said, ‘I’ll tell you all about it some time. You still haven’t seen my bike collection, have you? You can borrow one of them until you get your new wheels.’
Fiona gazed heavenwards. ‘I despair. But someone was definitely looking out for you that night, Flynn.’
‘I was extremely lucky,’ he admitted, the moment flashing back to him again as it had several times. Not that he’d admit it to anyone. He also remembered the dream in which the important people in his life had flashed before his eyes. Lara had been one of them – the last one he remembered, in fact.
He also, out of the blue, thought of the chalice. For a moment or two, when he was half in and out of awareness in the hospital, he’d wondered if the breakage had anything to do with his bad luck in meeting the deer.
Now he thought that the fact he’d survived the accident and that a vehicle had been close behind him on the lonely road was proof that his good luck had outweighed any curse that evening.
‘We all need a bit of good fortune at crucial moments,’ Henry said, cutting into his thoughts.
‘We sure do.’
Fiona glanced out of the window. ‘Oh, look. Your parents are back. We’ll leave you in peace.’
‘I’m sure they’d love to meet you,’ Flynn said, ‘and I can’t thank you enough for offering them somewhere to stay.’
‘When Lara mentioned it, we didn’t hesitate,’ Fiona said. ‘And if there hadn’t been a cottage vacant, they could have stayed in the castle.’
Flynn thought ruefully of how much his folks would have loved that. ‘Thank you.’
They talked a little while longer, with the Penhaligons telling him not to rush back to work, that the Spectacular was nearly over, and that everyone else would pick up the slack until he had recovered.
Henry eased himself up and patted his shoulder. ‘I expect this means we won’t see you dancing at the ball, eh?’
In all the chaos and confusion since the accident, Flynn had forgotten about the event. ‘Maybe not this year. I was looking forward to it too.’
As was Lara, he thought. He’d never dance with her now. Shit. He hadn’t wanted to dress up, but he had wanted to dance with her, although in the current complex circumstances, she might well want to avoid him.
‘At least you won’t have to worry about a costume,’ Henry said.
‘No, there’s that.’
‘Here are your parents. Get well soon. If you need anything at all, you only have to ask.’
Fiona opened the door to his parents and they had a brief chat together until the Penhaligons left.
‘They weren’t what we expected at all. Well, they are posh – old-school posh,’ his father said. ‘But so normal and kind and not snooty at all and so generous. You’re lucky to have them as your employers.’
Then Flynn had to submit to being fussed over and served soup and toast until he was forced to confess he needed a ‘lie-down’, which consisted of him lying on his bed and messaging family, friends and people he hadn’t heard from for years, who somehow seemed to have found out about the accident.
The whispers had grown, with one cousin under the impression he’d almost been decapitated and a former colleague from the theme park sure he’d been brought back to life at the roadside by a passing motorist who happened to be a heart surgeon.
Flynn banished these dark thoughts by scrolling through his phone, which these days lifted his mood instantly.
He had pictures of Esme eating prune purée, Esme playing with wooden bricks, and Esme wearing the Peter Rabbit sleepsuit that Lara had encouraged him to buy.
There were pictures of him with Lara at the launch of the lights, and one of them both at the Christmas dinner table with Mrs Danvers.
No wonder he felt exhausted and confused.
One minute he was Flynn the motorcycle tearaway, another a valued colleague, and another a grandfather.
The one person Flynn really wanted to be was the thing he didn’t think he dared to be: a lover and a partner with a future.
Henry’s comment had made him think and think again.
He did want to dance with Lara at the ball.
More importantly, he wanted her to want him to dance with her.
Which meant he had to show her how the accident had made him rethink his life.
But he’d messed her around so much, how could he regain her trust?
He now had another unexpected visitor.
Carlos appeared, looking sheepish and carrying a bag. Flynn hopped over to the door and opened it.
‘Sorry to make you get up. I won’t stay long,’ Carlos muttered, seeming reluctant to cross the threshold.
‘But we – the maintenance and tech teams and the apprentices – had a whip-round and we got you this.’ He handed the supermarket carrier to Flynn.
‘It’s some chocolates and some whisky, which you probably can’t have if you’re on medication.
’ He nodded at the pill packet by the sofa.
‘Maybe you can drink it when the docs allow it.’
‘I’ll enjoy that, thanks,’ Flynn said, taking the rather nice bottle of malt from the bag and admiring it. ‘Tell everyone I’m really grateful for the presents and plan on being back on my feet – or at least back at work, as soon as I can.’
‘Yeah, well, you should look after yourself. That knee looks nasty and we heard you were lucky …’
‘Yes, I was … and I’m sorry to leave you in the lurch in the middle of the Spectacular. I really will be back in a few days, but I know you’ll take it all in your stride anyway. You can manage without me.’
Carlos grunted. ‘We can all get on without you being under our feet for a while. We’ll do our best, but we’ll be glad when you’re back driving us nuts. Get well soon, boss.’
‘Mum, you must still go. I’m fine. Everyone is waiting on me hand and foot – I’m getting far too used to it. Have your holiday and come back and see me afterwards.’
Standing by his chair in her coat, his mother seemed to be, even now, in two minds about leaving him behind to go on holiday. ‘OK … if you’re 100 per cent sure?’
‘I am. You need a rest too.’ Flynn meant it.
His folks looked worn-out and no wonder after the worry, the sleepless nights, the stress and the shock of finding out about Molly and Esme.
Flynn didn’t only think they needed a physical break, he thought it might do everyone good to have some space and time to reflect.
Flynn eased himself upright to prove that he could stand on his own two feet – well, one, but he needed to make his point.
‘When you’re back, I’ll speak to Molly about making sure that, from now on, you can visit her and Esme.’
‘We’d love to see them in Cornwall. Esme would love the sea.’
He patted his mother’s shoulder. ‘She’s going to love it.’
His mum started to cry and Flynn knew exactly how she felt. All those years they’d lost, but it was time to move on.
‘Don’t cry, Mum. They’re in our life now and we have so much catching up to do.’
‘I just want to see you happy. You deserve it.’ His mum wiped her eyes and said, ‘Lara seems nice. She’s done so much to help us.’
‘Yeah, she’s nice.’ He didn’t trust himself to say more.
‘Oh, and we’ve been meaning to tell you. She was at the hospital in the morning when you were taken in.’
‘What?’ He thought he’d misheard. ‘I didn’t see her. You didn’t say that before.’
‘It was outside the ward in the corridor. We’d gone to get a drink while Molly and Imogen were with you and she was waiting there. We didn’t know who she was until we met her the other day,’ his father said. ‘And she didn’t tell you either?’
‘No. No …’ He was glad of the support of his crutch. Lara had rushed to see him, spotted Imogen and Molly by the bed, and decided to leave rather than intruding. He felt awful at the thought of her holding back her own fears and needs for his family’s sake – and his.
‘I think she felt awkward, not being one of the family,’ his mum said.
‘And we didn’t say that we were visiting you by name at the time, and neither did she.
It was only when we were moving cottages that we mentioned it to her.
She said she just wanted to make sure you were OK but she’d clearly rushed there as soon as she’d heard. She must care about you a lot.’
His mother leaned in and kissed his cheek and his dad grinned awkwardly. ‘We’ll get on our way. It’s a long way home. Take care, for God’s sake, love. My heart won’t stand this kind of drama again.’
‘I promise I’ll be careful. I’m a dad now and a grandad. Ready for my pipe and slippers.’
‘You will never ever wear slippers or smoke a pipe!’ his mum said.
‘Now, off you go,’ Flynn said. ‘Have a great holiday and WhatsApp me when you arrive.’
‘We will. Promise me another thing. You won’t get another bike,’ his mother said.
Flynn smiled enigmatically.
His dad shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t hold your breath, Paula. Come on.’
After they’d gone, he sank down in his seat again.
Lara had rushed to the hospital yet hadn’t dared to come to see him: even though she was the one person he longed to see most. It was clear that Lara didn’t feel part of his life – and the thing that tormented him most was he’d made her feel like that.
He’d excluded her because he wanted to protect her, yet in doing so he’d caused her even more pain.
It wasn’t his decision to dictate what she could handle – it was hers.
He had to respect her ability to make that decision and yet he needed to show her that she was as important to him as anyone else in his life. But how?