CHAPTER TWENTY DIEGO #2
My phone buzzes in my pocket and, when I take it out, a smile instantly blooms on my face.
Pretty girl: Attachment: 1 image
Pretty girl: Tabby’s been sleeping on the sweater you left on my bed
I zoom in on the picture of Tabby curled up on my grey sweater, saving it to my camera roll without even thinking. The cat’s grown on me, okay? I’m still not an animal person, but I’m definitely a Tabby person.
Me: The sweater was purposely left for you. It’d look better on you anyway
Pretty girl: Attachment: 1 image
Pretty girl: Do I have your approval?
Biting on my knuckles, I stifle a groan as I run my gaze over the latest picture she sent.
It’s a shot of her standing in front of her full-length mirror, wearing my sweater.
Knee-high socks. Red lacy thong. She holds one end of the large jumper over her hip, giving me a peak at her panties. Alara’s going to kill me at this rate.
Me: Fuck me, Alara
Pretty girl: That’s my intention
Me: You’re so beautiful. Can I call you in a bit? I’m going to hang out with my sisters for an hour or so, though
Pretty girl: Call me whenever you want. Is everything ok?
The fact that she knows something is troubling me when I haven’t hinted at it, and all while we’re texting, is truly beyond me. Alara knows me better than anyone.
Me: Yeah. Coach called and I guess I kinda feel down. I just want him to be proud of me.
Pretty girl: He is, trust me. You’re so loved. So talented. Don’t let your negative thoughts tear you down. Call me when you’re ready. Or just come over. My door’s always open for you.
I reply with a heart and pocket my phone before I can let the emotions clog my throat. She’s become my biggest supporter in such a short amount of time, and the way I feel about her is inexplicable.
Still, I can’t help but feel conflicted and confused about what Jordan said earlier. What am I supposed to do?
First off, I’m going to keep my promise to myself and spend some time with Gaby and Val before either heading to her place or calling her.
I don’t really like sleeping in my bed anymore. Alara’s is more comfortable, and I find myself waking up feeling more serene than ever every time I fall asleep curled around her.
The only downside of her place? It’s always so fucking warm. And I swear her feet are like ice. That brat loves planting those freezing feet on my bare back.
I don’t realize I’m biting back a smile when I sit in between my sisters, draping my arms around the back of the couch. Staring absentmindedly at the TV and the main protagonists having a heated conversation, I suddenly frown when I feel Valentina’s eyes on me.
“What?” I ask, meeting her gaze. She’s engulfed in a thick throw blanket that she’s knitted on her own, her head poking out from it.
“You look happy.”
“Yeah?”
Strangely, I feel happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.
If you’d told me weeks ago I’d feel like this, I wouldn’t have believed it. In the back of my mind, it was impossible to find happiness here, especially without snowboarding.
Looks like I’ve been wrong all this time, but my desperation to ride hasn’t tapered off.
Val jabs my thigh with her socked foot. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
I almost choke on air, but keep my face blank. “No?”
“You don’t sound sure yourself.” She even has the audacity to narrow her eyes.
“I don’t,” I say with more conviction. “I mean, I don’t have a girlfriend. Don’t have time for one.”
Val’s shoulders drop as she sighs. It’s a quiet sound, but filled with such disappointment and sadness that my chest twists. She looks back at the TV, and from the way she moves under her blanket, I know she’s folding her arms across her chest like she’s frustrated.
“What’s that face for?” I ask her.
She’s now pouting. “I wish you could stay here,” she answers, her voice cracking. “Wish we were enough for you.”
Oh, fuck, here’s my heart breaking again. “Val . . .”
“I’m serious, D.” When she looks back at me, her eyes are filled with unshed tears.
“I’m happy that you get to travel and live your dream, but having you back home and seeing how much you’ve changed in the span of a few weeks makes me really happy.
I just miss you and I want you to come back for real. ”
Valentina isn’t one to express her feelings much, but I know she’s needed me this whole time – I feel it in the intensity of her words.
Swallowing the heavy knot in my throat, I turn to look at Gaby, only to find her staring at my wrist that’s resting near her face.
As I follow her line of sight, I inwardly curse.
I’ve stolen one of Alara’s hair ties after pulling her locks free, and I’ve been wearing it ever since.
I might have a couple more just casually decorating my dresser upstairs.
My plan is to steal everything that clips or ties her hair so that she’s forced to keep it down the way I love so much.
It’s a plain black elastic band, though, so there’s no way Gaby knows whose it is.
But when she looks up to meet my eyes, I’m hoping she isn’t able to see through me.
Gaby thinks I’m not good enough for Alara. But she hasn’t seen the way Alara lights up when I walk in a room. Hasn’t heard the way she laughs so loudly and heartily when I joke around. Hasn’t witnessed her genuine smile, which only I can inspire.
Gaby doesn’t know anything. She doesn’t know that the rest of the world fades away when I’m with Alara – that it’s just us two, and nothing else exists or matters to me.
She doesn’t understand that I’ll never find this with someone else, even if I tried.
The friendship, the support, the love – it’s all different with Alara.
But has Gaby been right all along? Am I actually turning into the exact type of man she said I’d be?
Am I the guy who’s going to break Alara’s heart because I don’t know what I want?
I’m aware that Alara deserves the world and beyond, and yet all I’ve given her is half-commitment. Pieces and bits of my heart.
Shit. I’m so confused.
I don’t know what to do with myself. Perhaps the best thing to do is put some distance between Alara and me, but it’s way too late now. And I’m not capable of walking away from the only woman who knows the real me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, looking back at Val and again at Gaby. “I’m so sorry, guys. I never wanted to abandon you like this.”
“D, never apologize for living your dream,” Gaby says. “You seized the opportunity when it dropped in your lap, and we will never be mad at you for that. Never. We’re just happy to have you back, even if it’s just for a few months.”
I smile and ruffle Gaby’s hair, which earns me a slap on the arm before she diverts her attention to the television. I throw myself on Valentina and hug her through the blanket as she tries to push me off.
“You’re heavy,” she whines, though she’s trying to stifle her laugh.
“You calling me fat?”
“Yes.”
“Get lost.” Still, I kiss the top of her head before moving back to sit in my place again.
We continue to watch the show in silence, but my head is anything but quiet. It’s buzzing with a thought that first made its appearance a while ago, but I’ve been doing my best to ignore it, despite how loud it is. Only now, I’m fully accepting it.
Despite the turmoil hazing my mind, there’s a certainty clinging at my chest – I want to make Blue Ridge Springs my home base again.
I can find an apartment for myself so that I’ll be close to my family. I can train here too – as soon as Coach and Dr Ellis give me the green light – and I’ll rent a smaller place in Utah for when I have to spend weeks over there to train with my team.
Because I might have fallen in love with the town and the resort again. And in the midst of it all, I think I have fallen for a certain brunette with the most beautiful eyes and inspiring intelligence, and leaving everything and everyone behind is no longer part of my plan.