Chapter 37 #2
“This is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten,” Gabe admitted, closing the book.
“Thank you for making this for me. I love seeing the photos of Hal and Vera. Looking at the photos brings back memories of the two of them visiting Milwaukee that I had forgotten about. I wish”—he cleared his throat—“I wish that things could have been different. That I could have been here when Vera—”
Realizing he was talking about Vera’s funeral, I reached over for his hand.
“I know I have to live with the fact that I wasn’t here, but if there’s any good that can come out of missing Vera’s funeral, it’s that I don’t want to miss out on moments with people I care about.
I don’t want to miss out on forming those connections.
And I also don’t want to waste another moment working for my father when I know I can be doing work that is valuable and brings people together. ”
“It says a lot that you’re taking that moment and what you were feeling and learning from it. That’s not easy. I also know now that it couldn’t have been easy for you to come to Golden Falls in the first place. But I’m glad you did.”
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Yeah, I’m glad, too. For so many reasons.”
The more I got to know Gabe and understand his relationship with his father, the more I realized how miserable he was working at Nelson Group. And yet, he was still there. There had to be more to it.
“There’s a reason you haven’t been able to quit.”
He sighed heavily, nodding. “There is. I didn’t realize it when I joined Nelson Group, because I didn’t review the contract carefully. I was excited to work for my father and thought this would help our relationship. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
I scooted closer to Gabe, and he wrapped his arm around me.
He continued. “Part of the contract is a five-year non-compete clause. If I leave Nelson Group, I’d have to do something else for five years. I’ve struggled a lot with that, and I feel like regardless of what I do—stay or leave—my career would be over.”
“And you thought Hal’s building would be your chance to have a project for yourself, to work on the community-focused projects you’ve wanted,” I finished for him, the pieces coming together.
He looked down at me, smiling sadly. “I did, but a lot’s changed since then. Also, I don’t trust my father to stay away from this project, especially since he tried to buy the building from Hal years ago.”
That caught my attention. “Really? I had no idea.”
I nuzzled closer into Gabe’s side, finding myself wondering about if the building even mattered. Would I give it up if it meant Gabe would stay in Golden Falls longer? My stomach churned with unease, and my chest pinched. I wasn’t sure of my answer.
In a simple world, I would give up the building for Gabe.
But…this wasn’t a simple world. I didn’t want to give up my dreams for someone, even a man I was falling for.
And if Gabe knew me, which I believed he did, he wouldn’t want me giving up, either.
He would want me to fight like hell for this building and prove that I’m the right person for it.
But if I got the building, then that meant Gabe didn’t.
I didn’t want him to have to put his dreams on hold again and to continue to feel stuck.
I knew how much this building meant to him and what it meant—an opportunity to finally work on community projects he’d been envisioning for years.
I wanted to see his ideas come to life, and this felt like the only way now that I knew the truth about why he couldn’t leave.
Regardless of how this turned out, one of us wouldn’t be able to fulfill a dream we’d worked so hard for. A heaviness settled over me, and what seemed so simple at the start of the month suddenly wasn’t.
We stayed outside longer, thankfully changing the subject to lighter topics, until Wes called from the back door, asking if we were still alive. My brother liked to tease our parents for worrying, but he had a soft side, too.
As Gabe and I walked up the steps back to the house, I thought about how in trying to create a Christmas for Gabe that he wouldn’t forget, I did the same for myself.
There was no way I’d ever forget celebrating with Gabe or the rush of being around him. How much I enjoyed bringing a smile to his face but also pushing his buttons.
I couldn’t tell if that made me happy or if it devastated me. Years from now, would I be sitting in my living room thinking about this day? Thinking about Gabe and wondering what he was doing? Who he was with?
Would he be thinking about me, too? Or would he meet someone in Milwaukee and forget about me? The latter was probably the right thing for us both, but…I knew I’d never forget Gabe.
My mom had always told us the only constant thing in life is change. But it wasn’t until this moment that I realized just how quickly things could change.
One moment Gabe and I were rivals, and the next there was an ache in my chest at the thought of him leaving.
At the thought of him falling in love with someone else.
At the thought of us being on this world at the same time but not together.