Chapter 22
22
ECHO
“This way, you’re always with me,” he whispers, pink highlighting his cheeks, as if he knows he sounds like a sap and is embarrassed but can’t seem to help it.
Adorable.
I follow the trail of the shooting star with the tip of my pointer finger and then, in an effort to distract him from his embarrassment, begin to lift my own shirt.
He stills me with one hand. “You don’t have to.”
“I know. I want to.” It scares me, but in a good way. So far, I’ve had none of the symptoms of an oncoming panic attack, just anticipation and the usual nerves of having someone see you naked for what feels like the first time.
Technically. I’ve been naked with him before, but so much has happened since then that I feel like a different person. Even if there are no scars on my body, they’re in my mind, and they make me see myself differently.
Drawing in my breath, I pull off the shirt and position it over the back of the sofa, giving myself a chance to gather my thoughts before turning back to Tyler. His eyes are darker than usual, and completely focused on my face. There isn’t even a flicker to indicate he’d rather be looking at my chest or anywhere else.
“Beautiful,” he says.
A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “You are.”
His skin is smooth over hard muscles, with a dusting of blonde hair arrowing down to his waistband. His nipples are dark, and I toy with one and then the other. Somehow, even in this vulnerable position, I trust him not to push me too far. After all, he’s already tried to stop. It’s my choice to keep going.
I bite my lower lip, considering what to do next. I take a moment to appreciate that I had enough forethought to wear the nicest bra I own, although it’s nothing fancy. For some reason, even though I know I’m physically safe, I don’t want to take the bra off yet. It’s a layer of protection.
“How far do you want to go?” he asks.
“I want to come.” The words are out of my mouth before I have time for second thoughts.
His eyebrows climb up his face. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” It may be impulsive, but I’m not backing out.
He cocks his head. “I have an idea.”
“Tell me.”
He scans my body, his gaze hot but not lingering anywhere for too long. “Why don’t I move down and you can ride my tongue?”
My face goes up in flames. “Excuse me?”
He smirks. “If you’re on top, you have control. You can stop whenever you want. Also, I’ve been dying to get my mouth on your pussy again.”
Wetness forms at the V between my legs, soaking my panties. Why is that so hot?
“I don’t want to suffocate you.” I can’t even imagine how embarrassing it would be to have to explain that to the police.
He rolls his eyes. “You won’t. I’m strong enough to lift you if I need to, but even if you did, it’s a damn good way to go. You in?”
I nibble on my lip, pressing my thighs together. I’m still turned on, and I want to take this as far as I can, both to prove I’m capable of it and so I know what my limits are.
“Okay.” I moisten my lips. “Yes, please.”
“So polite,” he teases.
I widen my stance and he slides down the sofa until my knees are tucked beneath his armpits.
“You’ll need to put your legs on the other side of my shoulders,” he says.
Awkwardly, I get off him and remove my jeans. I hesitate before finally pulling my panties down too. The soft catch of his breath is rewarding in ways I didn’t know I needed. I climb over him, my knees on either side of his head, a little self-conscious of the close up view he must be getting.
“Fuck, you’re hot.” He grabs my hips and gently but insistently tugs me lower, until I’m hovering right above his face. “I never thought I’d get to taste this little bit of heaven again.”
He licks down my center, and I jolt in response, partially from pleasure, but also because the touch shocks me. No one other than me has had their hands or mouth on me there in a long time.
No. Don’t think of the last time.
“Okay?” he asks, his lips moving against me, slightly ticklish.
“Yes.” Exhaling slowly, I make a conscious effort to relax my muscles.
He blows on me, and a shiver ripples up my back. Then he presses the softest kiss to my pussy. Then again. At first, they’re close mouthed, just getting me used to his touch. He must have realized I was overwhelmed.
For several minutes, he brushes his lips over me, almost reverentially. Eventually, his tongue gets involved. It’s all very tender and considerate, and as my body loosens, it’s no longer enough.
I need more. More firmness, a stronger touch.
“More, Ty.” I arch into him. “Stop treating me like I’m breakable.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t ask if I’m sure. He just moans and buries his face deeper between my legs, lathing open-mouthed kisses over me. His nose bumps my clit and I whimper and grab onto the arm of the sofa. He moans again, and the delicious vibrations make me quiver.
I glance down and find him staring back at me, his eyes burning with blue fire. His hair is mussed, and he looks absolutely debauched.
“Oh, God.”
I bite my lip as his gaze intensifies and he shifts one of his hands around to rub my clit, the other splaying across my hip to hold me in place.
He murmurs something, but it’s lost against my flesh.
All of the emotions he’s ever felt for me—and all the ones he claims to feel—are right there for me to see in the vibrant depths of his eyes. He’s hiding nothing.
Everything he’s said about his reasons for pursuing me is true.
All he wants is me.
His rough fingertips circle around my clit over and over again, and I can’t take my eyes off him as I wind tighter and tighter, my hips shifting slightly against his mouth as I search desperately for that last little bit I need to push me over the edge. He stops moving his fingers and just presses them against me.
I cry out, and the earth seems to shake around me. Pleasure rolls through me, robbing me of my ability to think of anything other than the slick heat of Tyler’s mouth and the things his skillful tongue is doing to me.
I tremble as the band of tension snaps, and I gasp his name. Everything turns hazy. When my mind clears, I’m snuggled against Tyler’s chest. He kisses the top of my head, and his arms tighten around me.
I reach down. His erection hasn’t deflated at all. I cup my hand over it, but then he brushes me away.
“No,” he says. “This was just for you.”
“But…” I don’t feel right without reciprocating.
“Nothing else is happening tonight.” His firm tone tells me there’s no changing his mind, so I relax against him.
As our skin is beginning to cool, Tyler’s phone vibrates.
“Ignore it,” he says.
It buzzes again.
I sit up. “It could be important. Where’s your phone?”
He waves his hand toward the coffee table, and I lean over and grab it, then frown at the name that crosses the screen.
“Why is Ryan messaging you?”
TYLER
Fucking hell.
I’m in so much trouble.
My chest is tight as I try to come up with a way to explain Ryan’s message that she’ll actually listen to. Based on the stiffness of her expression, she’s already fortifying her walls, just in case she’s about to be slammed by another betrayal.
I hate that I’ve put her in a position to get hurt. Again.
I should have told her about Ryan earlier. I was enjoying our date and didn’t want to end on a sour note, but I should have just sucked it up and done it. Then we wouldn’t be here. I might not have gotten to taste her either, but then, I never expected to tonight, so it was a delightful bonus. I didn’t think she’d be willing to be so vulnerable with me yet.
And look what happened.
“Tyler?” She passes me the phone, even though it’s obvious she wants to read the message. She’s too good to encroach on my privacy like that though.
That makes one of us.
Is there a way I can gloss over it? Make my arrangement with Ryan sound less significant than it was?
No. I need to be completely honest with her if this is going to work.
“There’s something you need to know.”
She scrambles off me and snatches her shirt off the back of the sofa. “What?”
I swing my legs around so I’m seated properly and pat the cushion beside me. She narrows her eyes but sits and dons the shirt.
“What is it?” she repeats. “You’re worrying me.”
To my relief, she lets me take her hand.
“When you went to college, I was worried about you—especially after what Eric did to you.” I choke on my former friend's name, and guilt spikes through me, hot and cold at the same time.
“So…?”
I swallow. “So I found a guy who was in some of your classes and who was on a sports scholarship and needed financial help, and I paid him to keep an eye on you.”
Her eyes are flat. “Ryan.”
“Yeah.”
I search her face, looking for a trace of the sparkle from before, but it’s gone. Instead, she seems weary to her bones.
“I’m sorry.” I squeeze her hand, but she pulls it away. “I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
Saying I was worried is an understatement. I was frantic when I realized that Echo would be attending university on a different coast than me—thanks, Dad—and without any friends or even her mother around for in-person support.
I guess she wanted a fresh start, but she was so vulnerable.
“Was our whole friendship fake then?” she asks dully. “Was it all an act to get close to me so you’d keep sending him money?”
I wish I could take her into my arms, but the way she’s holding herself screams to keep my distance.
You’re breaking my heart, baby.
“It wasn’t fake.” Although I doubt she’ll believe me. “I didn’t ask Ryan to be your friend. He did that himself because he liked you. It wasn’t part of our arrangement.”
She sniffs. “I bet it was convenient though.”
Well, yeah. But I’m not stupid enough to admit that.
“And how flattering to know that Ryan genuinely wanted to be friends with the pathetic girl who needed someone to be paid to take care of her.” She turns toward me and raises one shaking hand to her mouth. “How much does he know?”
“Nothing. Only what you’ve told him.” Or what he may have guessed. He’s an observant guy. I’d be willing to bet he’s put some of the pieces together.
She stands up, her gaze fixed on the door.
“Wait.” I lurch upright and block her path. “Please, let’s just take a few minutes to talk it through.”
She crosses her arms and scowls. “A lack of talking seems to be one of our problems. Or at least, a lack of you sharing things I really ought to know.”
“I did it out of fear.” I hook my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans because, otherwise, I’ll reach for her, and that would only be courting rejection. “I planned to tell you. I’ve already spoken to Ryan and let him know that I meant to come clean. I just…”
I hang my head. There’s really no explanation. I should have told her already. I was just enjoying the fragile new connection between us too much to risk breaking it, and that was selfish of me.
Echo purses her lips. “Whatever your reasons were, I can’t help feeling like you’ve been manipulating every part of my life.”
“I—” Was. I totally was.
“You made the decision to end our relationship without my input, you apparently hired me an attorney after the rape, you made a deal with your dad that landed me a scholarship at a university far from yours, and then you kept influencing my life through Ryan even though our relationship was over.”
I slump. “That’s all true.” There’s no denying it. “Maybe it’s messed up, but I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have good role models for what love or a healthy relationship looks like, but I’ve been doing my best to protect you and give you what you want.”
She arches her eyebrows. “Did you, or did you not, buy me a friend ?”
“I didn’t.” Hoping she doesn’t take the opportunity to push past me, I swipe my phone screen and hit the Call icon beside Ryan’s name.
He answers almost immediately. “Hey.”
“Ryan, I have Echo on speakerphone. She knows about our arrangement. Can you please tell her the truth about what you think of her?”
“Echo?” he asks cautiously.
“Yes,” she snaps.
“You’re a great person. I consider you to be one of my best friends, and I hope you feel the same about me.”
“How many of your best friends do you get paid to spend time with?” she asks tartly.
He sighs. “You fucked up the explanation, didn’t you?” He doesn’t wait for a reply. “Echo, I didn’t get paid for spending time with you. I received a flat rate for watching over you regardless of whether that was from a distance or up close.”
Echo narrows her eyes at me, but an ounce of hostility drains from her. “So why didn’t you do it from a distance?”
Ryan huffs a strained laugh. “Because I liked what I saw. You’re kind and clever, and I needed a friend whose world didn’t revolve around baseball. The first time we talked, I was just scoping you out, but I felt good after spending time with you, so I made a point to do it again.”
Echo’s pinched expression eases a fraction more. “You aren’t a pity friend?”
“You know me better than that.” He sounds exasperated. “I’m the same person. Our friendship just wasn’t quite as organic or accidental as you thought.”
“Hmm.” She’s clearly reluctant to fully believe us, but she’s softening.
“I care about you, Echo. But if you don’t want to see me again, I’ll understand.”
“No,” she says slowly. “Just…give me a chance to get my head around this. I can tell that both of you were coming from a good place when you made this plan, but I still feel like so much of the past three years have been based on a lie. It’ll take me a while to come to terms with that.”
My heart is heavy. Once again, I messed up. Perhaps she would have been better off if I never transferred to Newbury.
“I have to go.”
This time, I don’t stop her as she passes me. The door clicks shut behind her, and only then do I turn. The living room is empty now, except for me.
She’s gone.
“Catch you later.” I end the call and hurry after her. Not to talk, but to make sure she gets home safely. I get into my Audi, which is parked just off the street, and follow her beat-up Ford all the way back to her dorm.
She parks around the side, and I wait until she comes back around the front and enters. Only once the door is firmly shut behind her do I depart. Whatever happens, I won’t leave her vulnerable to being hurt again. I made that mistake once, and I won’t repeat it.
As I pull away, it feels like I’m back where I started. Except now, I’ve had another taste of her. Just enough to remind me of what I’m missing out on.
Somehow, that makes being without her so much worse.