Chapter 13
PANDORA’S DIARY
“What deal?” I asked, forcing myself not to daydream about “basking in the afterglow.”
“I won’t touch the illuminated manuscript—”
“Done!” I interrupted.
“—unless you’re with me,” he continued. “You’re not affected by the power it emits, so you’ll come along to keep me safe.”
I wanted to spend more time with him, but I didn’t want to want that, so I said, “I don’t know, Leo. Shouldn’t we just ship it off to some secret magical manuscript place?”
“What secret magical manuscript place?” he asked. “I am the secret magical manuscript place.”
“Really?” I asked, impressed despite myself.
“Well, you know there’s no higher fae authority to send it to. There are a half-dozen faerie-kin around the world with academic-leaning gifts for books, history, and antiquities, and I’m one of them.”
“What if I just hide it?” I asked.
“I can find the manuscript without you, Pan. Since we opened the manuscript, that thing is shedding power like a beacon.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “It’s a deal. You don’t touch that book unless I’m with you. I guess it would be irresponsible to just ignore it.”
“Great! Also, you can’t say anything to my dad.”
“He should know you collap—”
He pressed a finger to my lips. “Swear on the Dames’ lingerie that you won’t tell him.”
“The Dames’ lingerie? What, are we in middle school again?”
“Then swear on their flower crowns.”
“Why can’t we tell your dad? You collapsed, Leo. You haven’t done that since you first got your gift, have you?”
“No, but I’m fine. And if my mom hears what happened, she won’t understand. She’ll want to send me to urgent care.”
“She might not be wrong.”
“Even if I weren’t fine, which I am, do you really want to make my mother worry about me when we know this is about my gift?”
“Okay, fine! Fine, but promise you’ll spend the rest of the evening recovering.”
“Then tomorrow we’ll check the book again,” he said. “Great. It’s settled. And thanks for taking care of me.”
“No problem,” I said. “Your death would totally mess up my vacation plans.”
“Mm. We should talk about your vacation plans.” He opened the door to his parents’ house. “But that can wait until tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” I said, in a last-ditch effort to see him as the friend I used to play with instead of the prick I was losing the will to say no to. “Haven’t you forgotten something?”
“What?”
“I thought we were swearing on the Dames’ flower crowns.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “You want to do the whole secret handshake?”
“You don’t remember it?”
“Of course I remember.” He made jazz hands. “Stand back and watch the master.”
I laughed, then slapped my palms against his. We crossed our arms and did the same with the backs of our hands. We knocked our shoes, right-right-left, and after a little pinky swooping we splayed fingers atop our heads like crowns.
“I can’t believe you made us do that,” I said, embarrassed by how much I’d enjoyed it.
“Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said.
I smiled at him. Then my smile faded, and I kept looking at him. He’d broken my heart; he’d thought I hadn’t been good enough for him, and I was halfway sure he still felt that way. So why was it so impossible to resist him?
I stepped toward him, and his mother opened the front door and said, “What on earth are you two doing?”
Whoa. Saved by the mom! I’ve never been that happy to see Leora. At least, I think I was happy to see her.
I stepped back, feeling the loss of Leo’s warmth. “I was just heading home.”
“We saw you dancing,” Leora said.
“That’s not how you dance!” Leonard stepped around Leora, and took my hand. “This is how you dance.”
Leora’s face broke into a wide smile as Leonard twirled me inside.
She tapped at her phone and built-in speakers began to play something by Dean Martin.
Leonard spun me into the living room and danced me around the furniture until Leo cut in, putting his hand on my waist. Then Leonard took a grinning Leora in his arms. I’d never seen her look so present and relaxed.
The two of them moved perfectly together while looking adoringly into each other’s eyes.
It didn’t matter to Leonard that his wife had no gift and no memories of being faerie-kin. Why couldn’t Leo be the same?
“Your parents are weird,” I told Leo, flushed and breathless.
“Weirder than yours?”
“Are you kidding? My mom’s weirder than all three of them combined despite Dad’s runes and cloud journals.”
Leo laughed. He looked fully recovered from his swoon. He was certainly moving well, with one hand on my waist, the other gently gripping my own. I liked how the muscles in his shoulder shifted beneath my palm. I liked his warmth and his confidence.
We danced to another two songs before his parents collapsed onto the couch giggling. Leo made gin and tonics and we chatted about nothing until Leora declared, “Pizza night!”
“Oh I should probably—” I started to make excuses, still struggling with how I felt about Leo. How easily I fit into his cozy family life.
“Invite your parents, Pandora. It’s been too long since we’ve all been together.”
“I’ll order,” Leonard said. “Leo, you pick them up in town.”
“I’ll go,” I said, unable to resist them. “After I run home.”
When I stepped outside, the breeze felt cool on my flushed face—yet the warmth of the dancing and conversation stayed with me.
The warmth of Leo. As I walked home I felt a little petty for letting our teenage breakup ruin not just our friendship, but interfere with our parents’ friendship as well.
Leora was right; it had been too long since we’d all gotten together and our parents had obviously missed it.
Well, I wasn’t avoiding Leo any longer. I’d stick close, so he wouldn’t get hurt again by that illuminated manuscript.
And despite epic kisses in the library, I still planned to thoroughly friend-zone him, so I wouldn’t get hurt again.
“Pizza at the Carters’!” I told my parents, when I found them in the living room. “Oh! Sheila’s not cooking tonight, is she?”
“No, though she’s messing around in the kitchen.”
I gave a little shudder. “As long as she isn’t making repugnant tofu.”
“Stinky,” Dad said.
“I think she’s having an affair,” Mom said.
I blinked at her. “With who?”
“Your mother is convinced she’s seeing a married man,” Dad told me from behind his Farmers’ Almanac.
“Or woman,” my mother said. “I don’t judge.”
Dad barked a laugh and I said, “Sure you don’t,” with an ooze of sarcasm.
“Not about that,” Mom protested. “But Sheila is sneaking and skulking. I’ve caught her twice now, biking around.”
“No!” I said, as if scandalized. “She’s riding a bike?”
“Exactly!” Mom said.
“Well, then she’s definitely having an affair.”
“Enough gossip,” Dad said. “Pizza night! We’ll see you there.”
I threw a thrifted gray cashmere sweater over my black sundress and took a cart into the village. Jamar’s pizzeria was hopping, with locals and tourists sitting at the bar and tables, downing beers and slices.
“You picking up Leonard’s order?” Jamar called, when he spotted me at the end of the line.
Local privileges. “Yup.”
“I’ll pour you a half-pint while you wait.”
“Thanks, Jamar.”
I sat at the bar with a view of the brick oven.
Two teenaged normals were assembling the pizzas, while a third sliced and boxed and plated them.
I watched for a while before turning to the softly lit restaurant.
The room was decorated with faerie-kin spell flags, which looked sort of like Buddhist prayer flags in pastel colors, and were supposed to ensure a profitable business and happy customers.
I smiled as I spotted Gabe at a small table, waiting for his pizza.
I picked up my glass to join him when a short, pretty woman crossed the room toward him.
She looked familiar, but I couldn’t think how.
Her dark hair fell in natural waves and she wore a blue silky top over tiny cutoffs.
Her legs were golden and gorgeous above her wedge-heeled sandals.
She couldn’t have been more than five foot two but her legs seemed to go on forever.
Then I saw Gabe stand to greet her, which was weird. I love Gabe. He’s one of my oldest friends, and he’s a full-on sweetheart, but chivalrous politeness is not among his virtues.
And when he greeted the woman with a quick kiss on the temple, I felt my stomach drop. That was how he greeted me. Not Deja, not anyone else we knew. And the kiss on the temple had only begun when he started sleeping with me.
Me and the itty-bitty brunette who never skipped leg day.
She sat across from him and I spun in my stool, hoping Gabe wouldn’t see me.
Prickles of heat jabbed my face. Mom was right, I shouldn’t keep fooling around with Gabe when there was no future between us except friendship.
He had a perfect right to date someone else—we’d never promised to be exclusive.
Yet, somehow it still felt like he was rejecting me all over again.
Just like last summer. Would I ever be enough for someone to love me right?
I considered wandering over, to make Gabe as uncomfortable as I felt, but then Jamar brought me two large pizza boxes. I downed my beer and left.
Despite that little emotional hiccup, I enjoyed pizza night.
For the first time I could remember, the six of us became one raucous, laughing family.
I finally understood how my parents felt about Leonard and Leora; they teased each other mercilessly, and knew everything about each other.
Well, with the obvious exception of all of Leora’s magic-blindness.
Still, we talked about the year it snowed so much that we had to snowshoe to school and we reminisced about the summer we played Hearts every night until I finally broke down and cried I was tired of being the old maid. Diary, I haven’t changed much.
At some point, Mom dug around in my tote bag—looking for ChapStick, she claimed—but probably trying to find you, my dear Diary. Instead, she pulled out my recorder, which I’d tossed inside to fool around with some sheet music I’d found in the library.
Leora and Leonard demanded a performance, and since I’d had enough of Dad’s homemade wine, I obliged them, to much praise and applause. Then Mom demanded that Leo perform, too, so he began a lecture about antiquarian books that lasted twenty seconds before we happily booed him off stage.
We didn’t leave until after midnight, my parents helping each other on the trail through the blueberry field, my phone flashlight lighting the way.
I tipsily announced, “We’ve just proven that fun without magic exists. All you need is pizza, booze, and dumb old jokes and poof! You’ve created your own gifts.”
“I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard,” Mom agreed, then peered at me drunkenly. “None of us ever understood why you broke up with Leo.”
“I didn’t,” I lied. “We just kind of drifted apart.” I’d never told them the truth because I didn’t want to put a strain on my parents’ friendship with Leora and Leonard. Plus, I didn’t want anyone comforting me for not getting my gift. I was perfectly fine without one.
“Don’t worry, Grace,” my father slurred to her. “The runes promise romance.”
“You and your runes,” Mom nuzzled him fondly before turning to me. “Your father groaned over his tea this morning after casting them. I thought he was passing a kidney stone. What did they tell you, Frank?”
“The runes portend a shocking, unexpected change. Chaos and secrets, or maybe the revelation of ancestral knowledge.”
“Chaos?” Mom giggled. “On Beane Isle?”
“The runes are never wrong!”
Diary, this is what I live with.