Chapter 54
LEO’S NOTES
Place: Sotheby’s auction, Hong Kong
Favorite quote: they retain in our memory
towards a future which has itself become the past…
Misc: Gift for Pan
Contentment warmed Leo even more than the comfy blanket and fluffy pillow.
He drowsed in Pan’s bed, inhaling the floral scent of her.
What a night. He only dimly remembered their first date in the gazebo, but he’d never forget tonight.
After so many wasted years, after he’d idiotically broken up with Pan because he’d wanted a career in Boston, he’d finally gotten what he’d always wanted.
What he’d always needed. A future with Pan.
“Um…” She walked her fingers across his chest. “Can we try something?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, hungry for her all over again. “Anything.”
Her lips quirked. “Not a sex thing! Well, that can come later.”
“Then what?”
“Do you trust me?”
“No. Remember the time we spent four hours trying to catch seagulls?”
“I still say they could’ve carried messages to the mainland!”
Leo laughed. “Sometimes I don’t know what kind of fantasy world you live in.”
Pan sat up in bed beside him, then placed one hand on his forehead and one on his heart. “Well, if you close your eyes, you just might find out.”
“Is this a massage? Do I get a happy ending?”
“Please, Leo, this is serious. Now close your eyes and hush.”
In the darkness, Leo felt her palms on his body. Her hands were smooth and strong, and he inhaled the bright, forested scent of her. Gentle breath touched his face. Her hands felt warmer and warmer, then grew hot. Through his closed eyelids, he noticed as she changed the lighting in the room.
Golden panels drifted across his vision and Pan’s voice sounded almost singsong as she said, “My gift is for memory, Leo, more than for creatures or manuscripts. My gift doesn’t only recall magic, like the folk. The core of my gift is memory itself. It always was. And there… yes! There you are.”
“Here I am,” he agreed. “But what are you talking—”
A lifetime of images crashed into him.
Images and emotions, fears and triumphs and sensations.
Bridges forged themselves across the forgotten rivers in his mind.
The richness of his past shone as bright as a chandelier in a darkened mansion and Leo remembered; he knew the contents of his own life once again, as a thousand moments linked together into the true story of himself.
He gasped for air, unable to swallow the flood of memories. As his back arched, his eyes sprang wide open. His hand clenched around Pan’s glowing wrist but she stilled him with a single tender glance. Her eyes told him to relax, to trust her—so he did.
He exhaled his tension away and watched her work, plucking strands of magic in the air above him.
“Goblins,” he said, when she finished.
She started crying. “Welcome back.”
“You fixed me,” he said, his voice soft with awe.
“You were never broken. I just helped you remember.”
“Your gift is for memory so you fixed mine and—oh!” He felt a jolt of excitement. “Oh, Dames, Pan! My mother! Can you return her memories too?”
She beamed through her tears. “I think so, yeah. I tried it on you first because I wasn’t sure but—”
He pulled her face down to gaze into her eyes. “I thought I was going to lose you to Hattie. To that hobgoblin. I’ve never been so scared, Pan. It cleared up a few things. I’m sorry it took me so long. The only thing that matters is you and I’ve—I’ve never been so happy.”
“Stop!” she said, pulling away. “Stop being happy! There’s more… there’s terrible news.”
“What?”
“I fixed your memory, but I can’t fix your gift!”
“So?”
“Your gift is gone, Leo. Gone forever. I tried to fix it, but I can’t.” She lowered her head. “I stole your gift. I got mine and I ruined yours and I know how much magic means to you and I—”
“I don’t care!” he interrupted.
“Oh, Dames. You care so much, and I ruined—”
“Look at me, Pan. I don’t care. I know what’s important now, and it only took a goblin invasion to teach me. Even before Hattie showed up, I would’ve done anything to save you, because I can’t live without you, faerie-kin or not.” He paused. “What about you, though?”
She raised her head a fraction of an inch. “What about me?”
“Can you live without me? You’ve given me my memories, but can you live with a man without a gift?”
“You’re all the gift I’ve ever needed,” she said, and pushed him back onto the bed.