29. Putting a Pin in It
Chapter twenty-nine
Putting a Pin in It
Julian
I brought Nicolette a cup of tea. She hadn’t moved an inch since Delia left. She was still curled on the couch, legs pulled tight to her chest, her beautiful head resting on her knees. Still wearing her ridiculous Ghostbusters costume. She looked small. Breakable. And utterly lost in thought.
She didn’t look up when I approached. Either she didn’t wish to speak to me or she didn’t know what to say.
I hoped it was the latter. Shock had a way of hollowing a person out, leaving them suspended between thought and feeling.
And no doubt tonight’s revelations hadn’t been easy on Nicolette.
Even I was having a hard time processing them.
I set the tea on the table beside her, careful not to intrude.
I didn’t dare touch her again—not unless she reached for me first. I was simply grateful that she was still here.
That she hadn’t recoiled from me earlier.
Those moments of contact had given me a sliver of hope.
Perhaps she wasn’t as ready to let us go as I’d feared.
I lowered myself onto the opposite end of the couch, leaving space between us, though every instinct urged me to close it. She’d been through enough tonight. I wouldn’t crowd her. I wouldn’t push.
After what felt like ages, and after her tea had gone cold, I could no longer stand the silence. “Darling, would you like me to leave?”
She shook her head. It gave me all the incentive I needed. I edged closer to her, still careful not to touch her.
“Can I bring you anything?” I offered.
“No,” she whispered.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Can you just hold me?” Her voice cracked.
Done.
I gathered her into my arms, her weight settling on my lap, her head falling against my chest. She felt as if she belonged in my arms, as if they were made for her.
“Don’t take this to mean we’re making up,” she mumbled against me.
I laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” But I held her tighter, hoping beyond hope she’d open the door to me.
“There’s no leaving this world, is there? There’s nowhere I can go to be safe from it.”
My fingers drifted down her back in slow, deliberate strokes, savoring every touch. “I wish I could tell you there was, but that would be a lie. Even so, I will make good on our bargain if you still wish to leave me.”
“I can’t leave now. I have to figure out why the plasma treatment doesn’t work for Delia. What if I’ve doomed you to the same fate by giving you my blood?” she cried.
“Shh. You haven’t doomed me. If anything, you’ve given me hope.”
Not that I wasn’t concerned about Delia’s current state and her immunity to the plasma treatment. But my body reacted differently to Nicolette’s blood than it ever had to the plasma. I wasn’t sure what that meant—if it meant anything at all—but now was not the time to panic.
“Hope for what?” she sniffled.
“Well, for starters, you just told me you can’t leave. And while I know that doesn’t mean you’re staying for me, it gives me time. Time to make amends. To prove that I love you.”
She stilled, her breath catching.
“You don’t believe me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, that is progress.” I kissed the top of her head.
“We don’t have time for love right now.”
I begged to differ but kept silent. I would take my small victory.
“Julian, we have to get into my mother’s laptop.
Find out what’s on it. And we need to know what my mom was protecting Delia from.
And why this vampire killed her. Who he was.
Why he hasn’t killed me yet. Does he know about the laptop?
What secrets was my mother keeping?” She fired off the questions in rapid succession, barely taking a breath, trembling as she went.
“Breathe, love. We will figure all this out. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“I can.” There would be no argument on that point. I refused to let anything happen to her.
“This bastard obviously doesn’t know about the laptop, or he doesn’t know you have it, or he’d have already made a play for it.
There’s something about your mother’s secrets he needs, and he thinks you might have the answer—but he’s not certain.
That’s why he’s only leaving notes. And he must know how well guarded you are.
To make a move would be suicide on his part, or at the very least, it would tip us off to who he really is.
What bothers me is the tone of the notes. He likes to taunt and torture.”
“He’s doing a good job of it.” She curled tighter against me. “Now more than ever, I’m scared. Worse, I’m sick that Delia didn’t say anything. Don’t even get me started on the stuff my mother hid. The cure? My blood? Her affair.”
“Supposed affair,” I added gently.
“Please. I know how you vampires work. He probably wooed her right out of her lab coat.”
I chuckled. “Is that what you think I’ve done to you?”
“No, you’ve wooed me in far more dangerous ways,” she whispered.
I lifted her chin with the crook of my finger and gazed into her watery eyes. “I think our relationship is much more than either of us bargained for. You’ve bewitched me. I never believed I could love anyone in this state. You proved me wrong.”
“Julian.” Her breath brushed my lips, begging me to consume her mouth—every part of her. “I’m supposed to be angry with you.” She grinned.
“I apologize for imposing on your emotions.”
“Do you really?”
“No.” I dared to brush her lips with mine.
She let out a tiny groan before pressing her lips—and her body—fully to mine. I wasted no time tasting her, threading my fingers through her hair, pulling her as close as I dared. I’d missed her. Wanted her. Needed her.
When her fingers slipped to my shirt and began working open the buttons, I thought she wanted me just as desperately. Her palms flattened against my bare chest . . . and then she suddenly pulled away, a playful accusation lighting her brightened eyes.
“Oh. My. Gosh. Do you see what I’m talking about? I was going to rip your clothes off, and you were going to let me.”
That had been the plan. A dangerous one, given the consequences of having sex with my bride—but I’d begun to wonder if Nicolette was different.
If her very DNA might save us from obsession and grant us the beauty of a physical relationship.
It wasn’t the best time to test my theory, but I longed to know her in every way.
She vaulted off my lap, putting distance between us, her adorable button nose scrunching.
“We need to put a pin in this. In us .”
“Are you saying there is an us?”
“All I know is tonight when you showed up at the cemetery, I felt safe, and when you held my hand, I didn’t want to let go. But it hurts that you didn’t trust me. How can there be love if there’s no trust?”
“You’re right, Nicolette. And I hope you’ll forgive me for my lapse in judgment.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been a married man—or been in any sort of meaningful relationship.
I forget the intricacies and intimacies that come along with it.
But more than anything, I wish for us to be one. In all ways.”
Nicolette tucked her feet under her, cheeks blushing. “You mean sex?”
“Being one is so much more, but yes, I hope one day to make love to you.”
“I don’t know if that’s possible.” She sounded disappointed.
I took that as an excellent sign.
“Look what my mother’s cure did to Delia.”
“You are not your mother. You are more brilliant. I’ve always said that.”
Nicolette shook her head. “You heard Delia—she was a genius. And also a liar, so there’s that.” She wiped an errant tear from her cheek.
I reached for her hand, and she let me take it—gratefully, almost desperately. I cradled it between my own, my thumb brushing slow circles over her knuckles. “You are a genius, and I will gladly place my life in your hands.”
“Julian, it’s not safe.” Her voice wavered, her fingers curling slightly into my palm.
“Nor is it safe to have someone like Delia running about. What if there are more of her? What if your mother experimented on others?” A chill ran down my spine at the thought. “You heard her—her bloodlust is growing. What if it becomes uncontrollable?”
“I thought about that. And also you,” Nicolette whispered.
I leaned in, searching her expression. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you didn’t want to become a vampire.
How fair is that? What if there are more vampires like you and Delia wishing for their lives back?
” Her breath hitched. “But what if I make a mistake and change pathways that make the mutation grow stronger? What if I’ve already done that to you?
” She shuddered, her whole body trembling with the weight of the possibility.
“Didn’t you once tell me that science is dangerous? That you have to take risks?”
She bit her lip. “Well, yeah, but that was before I really cared about you.”
I scooted closer to her. “So what I’m hearing is that you’re falling in love with me.”
“I didn’t say that. I said I care about your well-being.”
“I’m almost certain you said you really cared about me. That sounds awfully close to love,” I teased.
“Putting a pin in it,” she sang.
“All right, love,” I relented, though I couldn’t help feeling encouraged. “What are our next steps? Besides finding the bastard who’s after you and disposing of him?”
“As a doctor who took the Hippocratic oath, I should really be against that.”
“He violated the laws of my kind. For that, he must be punished. And you may have taken the Hippocratic oath, but I haven’t. But you don’t need to worry about it. How would you like to proceed? Do we go back to sharing blood? And a room?” I added cheekily.
She let out a long, slow breath. “I’m not sure which one is more dangerous.”
“I’m willing to take the risk if you are. I trust you, Nicolette.”
“Okay, fine, but we need to find what’s on my mother’s laptop first. I need to see if she left any notes about her processes. Find out what she discovered about my blood. Maybe this way I won’t repeat her mistakes.”
“And I won’t be repeating mine.” I pulled her hand up and pressed my lips to it, making sure to hold her gaze. “I refuse to let you go this time.”
She offered me the tiniest of grins. “We shall see.”
Yes, we would.