Chapter 38
Theodore
“Come on, mate, cheer up,” Devon says. “We’ll find a way to fix this mess, yeah? I promise.”
I keep my eyes on my beer–yes, I’m breaking my sobriety-during-rehearsals-period a day before it’s all over. I honestly can’t bring myself to care. I went straight to Devon after telling Dafne the truth, and while I wanted to go back to the dorms and sleep to avoid reality, he dragged me to the pub instead.
“There is nothing to fix, Devon. You didn’t see her face when I told her. She’s through with me.”
He sighs and taps his phone screen once. “Any minute, now,” he mutters, and I furrow my brows.
“Any minute to what? Me ordering another beer? Because that’s a great–”
The bar’s door swings open, and a drenched Oliver comes in, looking for someone left and right.
Devon waves a hand to catch his attention and he makes his way to us, slipping his jacket’s hood off .
“I don’t have a lot of time,” he says as he sits next to Devon. “Dafne needs me. What is it?”
“I take it you know everything?” I ask.
“Oh, I do. Still not not mad at the two of you, but unline Dafne, I’m willing to listen.”
Devon gestures to the waitress to bring another beer.
Both Oliver and I look at Devon, who apparently got the both of us here for some sort of intervention. I don’t want to hear it, but I also don’t have the strength to get up and back under the pouring rain.
“Alright, look,” Devon starts, passing a hand over his mouth. “Cards on deck. We mucked up. I mean, I mostly have, but Theo here is taking the brunt of it, and I feel terrible. Do you think you could tell Dafne it was completely my fault?”
Oliver shakes his head. “She doesn’t care whose alleged fault it is. Price here shouldn’t have agreed, or at the very least not let it go on for as long as it did. She thinks everything between she and him was either a plan concocted to get her guard down, or worse, that he never cared enough to be honest with everyone, and himrself. Like a stupid bet was more important than her feelings,” he explains, his tone serious.
“Not to mention the whole Ethan thing–that was messed up,” he adds. He turns to me then, such protective fierceness in his eyes, I am glad that if anything, Dafne has a friend like him.
“You’re right,” I tell him. “Devon shouldn’t excuse me .
It’s my responsibility.”
“She trusted you.”
“I know,” I say, and my stomach churns with how badly I wish I could make this right.
“I swear to God, Price, if something happens during the play–”
“I would never, ever, jeopardise her performance.”
“Because it would mean to jeopardise your own?” “Because she’s important to me.”
Oliver’s eyes become slits, as if he could see right through me if he tried hard enough.
Devon looks between the two of us, then clears his throat. “Then we agree. We all care about Dafne, so we should find a way for Theo to–” Oliver presses a finger over Devon’s lips.
“Let us do the talking, hmm?” he says without taking his eyes off me while Devon’s cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.
“I am rarely wrong, Price. And if I’d had the slightest inkling you weren’t being genuine, I wouldn’t have let her get close to you, so I’m going to ask you something. Have you told her that?” Oliver says as Devon nods in thanks to the waitress that brings his drink.
“Told her what?” I ask, keeping my hands around my empty pint to cool me down.
“That she,” he makes air quotes, “is important to you.”
“No. No, I was about to, but she … didn’t want to hear it.”
“Maybe–” Devon starts, but Ollie covers his face with his entire hand.
“Ssshhh, I’m thinking,” he hisses. Devon and I exchange a glance, and now I really need another beer. Or two. Or seven. Because all those months ago, she was right.
I am a coward.
“Alright,” Oliver says, placing his palms flat on the table. “I think it’s quite simple, what you need to do.
Tell her the truth."
Dafne
After my fight with Theodore, I make my way to my room and wait for Phoebe to be back from class. When she opens the door I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, my suitcase open behind me, my clothes sprawled around the room looking like they were chewed and spat back by a grizzly bear.
“I thought I’d start organising my things, since–since it’s our last week in here. But I couldn’t remember that method you taught me to fold my shirts and–” I take a breath so deep my ribs ache trying to reign the tears in. The puffy eyes probably give me away, though. Phoebe starts towards me, not even taking her bag off before she comes to sit beside me. “The Dafne I know doesn’t have breakdowns over Japanese clothes-folding techniques,” she says, rubbing a stray tear off my cheek with her thumb.
“Did the dress rehearsal not go well? I thought you were all great,” she says with a pout.
I swallow thickly and try to calm the pulsing in my head, the result of crying and stress I’ve been piling up since forever finally getting the best of me. I explain to Phoebe what Theodore’s told me, her jaw slack in disbelief as she takes everything in.
“I’m going to kill him and bury his body where nobody will find it,” she declares after a few quiet moments. “I’m going to go Peaky Blinders on that moth–”
“Phoebe.”
She stops her eloquent gestures in midair. “Yes?”
“Why does it feel like I’m expendable?” I ask in genuine, utter heartbreak.
Her hands drop and she takes on a pensive look, like she’s willing the proper words to come to her.
When she speaks again , instead of making a list of all the reasons Theodore is not good for me, she lists the reasons I’m too good for him. Which are many–at least in her eyes.
“You’re not for everyone, Daf. You shine so brightly some people are … afraid to be blinded,” she ends sadly.
A few minutes later there’s a knock on the door, and Phoebe eyes me once before getting up to see who it is.
“Did the star of the show order coconut pastries from the bakery down the street?” Ollie asks, bearing a brown paper bag in both hands. I chuckle wetly, relieved to see him instead of–someone else. Phoebe closes the door behind him, and they both come to sit next to me, as she rests her chin on one of my shoulders, Ollie’s hand on the other.
“I’ve gotten through much worse, haven’t I?” I ask them after a while.
“I know for a fact you can jump back from anything,” Ollie says simply. “That being said, Phoebe and I have to tell you something.”
Phoebe makes a choking sound, and shoots Ollie a surprised look. “Now, Ollie, really?” she hisses.
“Now,” he confirms, eyebrows raised.
“More life-altering secrets, splendid,” I mumble as I pinch the bridge of my nose. Why can’t anyone seem to just talk to me?
Ollie gets up from the bed and moves to sit in front of me with his legs crossed, his hands massaging his ankles; Phoebe stays rooted in place next to me.
“A few months ago, Devon told me Theodore had a crush on you, and that it would be nice if I … nudged you in his direction. You know, to encourage him to finally make his move.” I turn to Phoebe, my eyes wide in shock, and she mouths an I’m sorry don’t hate me.
“As you know, all either of us,” Ollie nods at Phoebe, “have ever done in that regard was trying to make you see that perhaps getting closer to Price wasn’t such a terrible idea.”
I’m about to tell him it definitely was a terrible idea, but he raises both hands to ask me keep listening, so I swallow my anger and cross my arms instead.
“Sure, we put the karaoke thing together, but Daf–we would never do something we didn’t think was the absolute best thing for you. And when Devon told me about Theodore, whether or not it was true at the time he did … it got me thinking. The past few years, the two of you have been at each other’s literal throats too many times to count, and yeah, he’s said some ugly stuff but, to be honest, so have you.
“I’m not trying to justify him, and I know you were acting in defense, but–”
“I’m not a fan of the whole ‘he was mean because he liked you’ story. He was mean because he didn’t like me, Ollie. He told me as much. And I know why now, still–”
“I know. And it sucked, alright? But the passion I saw on stage from you two … it can’t be faked,” he shrugs. Like he’s not saying things I don’t want to hear. “So at one point, I told Phoebe because this boulder of a secret was driving me insane–”
“But you have to know babes, we had no idea about the bet. None . I would have personally kicked both Price and Devon’s arses if I’d known, and I mean it in the literal sense. Probably would have asked Peter to lend me his gumshields and boxing gloves,” she smiles weakly. “Devon just confessed that he thought Price had a crush on you. Apparently Price denied it at first. I think Devon’s heart was in the right place, but don’t think that I’m not furious at him. I just want you to be happy, Daf. And I know you don’t need a man for that, but I also know that light in your eyes means something,” Ollie says.
I’m too stunned to speak, too sad, too everything. So I just extend my hand for him to take.
“We know you’re tough as nails and don’t need us to pro-tect you,” Phoebe says as she tentatively rests a hand on my arm. “But we’ll always look after you like you’ve always done with us. Maybe sometimes it’s … it’s okay not to feel like a bad bitch if you’re hurting. Doesn’t mean you’re not one.”
No matter how much I try to refrain, that last bit makes the corners of my mouth pull upwards. Of course they didn’t know about the bloody bet. Of course they really thought Theodore and I could be something. Too bad we were all wrong.
“I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but … have you thought about what you will do?” Ollie asks as we take a stroll in the gardens after dinner, Phoebe having fallen asleep in the middle of our rewatch of The National Theatre’s Midsummer Night’s Dream production.
“About that ugly orange jumper you found under my bed? Well I think I cou–”
“Daf.”
“Ollie.” I look over at him, and we share a small smile.
“What do you want me to do? “I’m a professional. I will go on stage, and no matter my personal feelings for whoever is there with me, I will be exactly what Mr. Hackle told me to be. The bloody brightest.”