Chapter 24
Avery Hunter’s Reporter Notebook: The backstory is always interesting.
Something shifted in Warren. I knew he was still beating himself up for dropping me at the trapeze, but that wasn’t his fault.
Neither of us had done this before. And everyone who tried it dropped their partners on the first try, except Eula and Irv.
That’s why I wanted us to sit with them at lunch.
They were huddled together on one side of the table when we approached them.
Eula giggled at something Irv told her. He blushed.
And my overactive imagination came up with about three different scenarios that would cause that reaction.
All of them ended in sexy time. And all of them made me feel uncomfortable in a weird way.
I cleared my throat. “Mind if we join you for lunch?”
“Oh, my dears! Yes, please,” Eula said, smoothing her silver hair back from her face and regaining her composure. “We’d love for you to join us.”
I waggled my eyebrows at Warren, but he refused to look me in the eye. I frowned. That was new.
We sat opposite the couple. The air was filled with the tantalizing aroma of fresh herbs and garlic, making my mouth water. Crisp greens glistened with a drizzle of olive oil, while ripe cherry tomatoes and thinly sliced cucumbers added color to the mix.
I spread a generous pat of creamy butter onto warm, crusty bread. The savory scent wafted up and almost made me forget about the niggling worry in the back of my mind.
“That was something at the trapeze, you two,” I started.
“Pish posh,” Irv blew a raspberry. “No big magic, there. We went to a trapeze school a few years ago.”
“You did?” I asked.
“Oh yeah,” Eula confirmed. “We were shit at it to begin with.”
Warren perked up at that. Interesting.
“I must have dropped Eula about a dozen times before I figured out its secret,” Irv said.
“What is the secret?” Warren asked.
“Timing,” Eula answered.
“Right. Timing. You have to be in sync, or you’ll never catch your partner,” Irv continued. He turned toward his wife. “You remember that big fight we had about it?”
Her eyes widened. “The Great Blowup of 2005? How could I forget? I thought we would get divorced over it.”
“No,” I breathed.
“Yes!” Eula nodded. “It was the stupidest thing, too. A trapeze! But as we all know, it’s never about the trapeze, is it?
Irv and I have been doing these maintenance camps for years, almost our entire marriage.
We try to space them out, but whenever we notice strain in the relationship, we schedule a getaway and a reconnection sooner rather than later. ”
“You called it preventative maintenance,” Warren said.
“That’s right. Preventative maintenance, like a car.
Or our bodies. We all need check-ups and check-ins to make sure things are firing on all cylinders.
You wouldn’t drive your car for 50,000 miles without changing the oil.
And you shouldn’t try to white-knuckle marriage without preventative maintenance, either,” Eula said.
“Do you know how many people got divorced during and right after the pandemic?” Irv asked.
“Divorces initially dipped during the pandemic because courts were closed,” Warren answered. “But after the divorce rate increased nearly three percent.”
Irv paused to consider my husband, but I chuckled. Of course, he knew the answer.
“He’s brilliant,” I shared with Irv.
“Indeed,” Irv agreed. “Do we know why the divorce rate went up slightly?
I raised my hand. “I know this one. All of those couples forced to be with each other 24-7. Previously, they were busy with their lives and commuting, working, and driving their overscheduled kids everywhere. But when they were forced to be together all the time, they realized, ‘This is not the person I married.’”
Eula nodded. “Tiny cracks that had been building for years in a relationship became glaringly obvious when there were no other distractions.”
“Cracks,” Warren echoed.
“Yeah,” Irv said. “That’s why Eula and I try to fix the tiny cracks before they become big fissures. Preventative maintenance.”
“And the upside of fixing the small cracks? Our sex life has never been hotter,” Eula added with a smile.
Irv turned toward his wife with such love in his eyes that I had to look away. It was too much, but not enough.
My eyes watered as I tried to concentrate on my salad, but I tasted nothing. I had to force myself to choke down the greens.
“Are you okay?” Warren whispered.
I swallowed hard and sipped some water. “Fine. All good. I’m ready for something besides rabbit food.”
He frowned. “Salads and greens are good for you. They are essential building blocks for a healthy body.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Is that how you came to possess abs of steel?”
It was Warren’s turn to blush. Yes. Let’s change the subject.
“How about you two?” Eula asked.
“Us?” I croaked.
“Yes, you. How did you meet?”
I glanced at Warren and was about to utter one lie or another when he surprised me.
“It was love at first sight,” Warren said, then added. “Sort of.”
Irv laughed. “For you, maybe. But your wife’s look says something different.”
The edge of Warren’s mouth ticked up as he clocked my frown. “That seems about right. She did not even know I existed at first.”
“That’s not true,” I protested.
“Oh yeah? When did we first meet?” He challenged me.
I opened and closed my mouth a few times. Damn. He had me there.
“You arrived on Pleasure Point to help Thorn with the newspaper that was failing spectacularly. We met the night he managed to post a flyer on the town’s bulletin board,” Warren explained.
“Thorn asked me to retrieve you from Demeter House, where you had been staying. You were incensed that I was calling so late. You wore yoga pants and an oversized faded T-shirt from a former television station. Your hair had been pulled up in a messy bun. And I could barely speak because I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.”
I blinked a few times and sat back in my chair. I did remember that night. And I remembered being mad that Warren interrupted me from a spicy romance book I had been reading at the bed and breakfast. It had been a long day with Thorn, and I needed to unwind with smut and a cheeseburger.
As God intended.
Unlike Warren, I couldn’t remember what he was wearing or how I felt about it, which made me feel bad.
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember it like you do,” I confessed.
He shrugged. “It is not like I have given you much to build upon.” He turned toward Irv and Eula. “Every time I would run into her on the island, and it is a small island, I shoved my head firmly up my backside and could not think of anything intelligent to say.”
I rolled my eyes. “That is true. He loved to lob those lawyer pickup lines at me, though. So that was funny.”
Warren covered his eyes. Eula and Irv laughed.
“What kind of pickup lines?” Eula asked with a smile.
“Please do not…” Warren said.
“Are we in small claims court because you’re making a big case in my heart,” I laughed.
Eula and Irv hooted.
“Ooh, wait. Here’s another one. You must be evidence because I’ve been searching for you,” I said.
“Noooo.” Warren groaned.
The older couple across from us wiped their eyes and laughed until they struggled to breathe. I laughed along with them because it only now occurred to me why Warren was telling me jokes.
They weren’t jokes at all.
I patted his leg. “You made me laugh, even with your corny pickup lines that you didn’t think were jokes. I loved them.” I leaned over and kissed him behind his ear.
His skin flushed at our contact, and he planted his hand on my thigh. That’s more like it.
“I am so embarrassed,” Warren admitted.
“Don’t be, son,” Irv said. “We’ve all done stupid shit to win our lady loves.”
“Yeah. Maybe sometime I’ll tell you about the…” Eula said.
“I thought we promised never to talk about that?” Irv complained.
“You’re right, dear.” Eula nudged Irv in the shoulder. “Sorry, kids. That secret will go to the grave with me and Irv.”
“Awwww,” I complained half-heartedly.
“Was it more embarrassing than asking if you could get in someone’s briefs?” Warren asked.
Irv cackled. “Much, much worse, my good man.”
Warren sighed, and that brilliant smile returned for the first time today. I thought my underwear would catch fire from the smoke show.
My heart squeezed, and my stomach flip-flopped.
Although I may not have noticed him at first, it was becoming evident that I was a goner for him now.