Chapter 31
Warren Atwell’s Legal Briefs: Killing the messenger is ill-advised, no matter how many truth bombs she lobs at you.
I stood in the middle of my house, indecision weighing on my shoulders. All of my cases were complete or waiting for the next phase. There were no depositions to take or reports to write. I had already meditated and performed my yoga practice this morning, but I felt something was missing.
The certified letter from Langston Hughes mocked me from my tidy desk. I opened it before leaving for my Sunday date, but I still had not realized they were related.
Probably because I was so excited about my date.
Sunday. Had it only been less than a week since I realized Avery was MsWrite?
I had not given the job offer much thought. It was a ridiculous offer from an absurd man. There was no way I would consider it, much less take it.
But perhaps it was time to leave Pleasure Point and go elsewhere.
A knock at the front door brought me out of my musings. I was not expecting anyone, but when you lived on a small island full of nosy relatives, you never knew who would be standing on the other side of the door.
The last person I expected to see stood on my front porch. I blinked a few times because I considered perhaps I was having a stroke. Or an aneurysm. I wondered how long the Bolt Ambulance would take to get me to a hospital.
A tall redhead with short hair and a smirk waved her hand in front of my face. “S’up, lawyer man? You in there? Can I come in?” She did not wait for me to answer before pushing into the house. “Thanks! Don’t mind if I do.”
Detective Wysdom Ward. The woman who started this ridiculousness was in my house, brushing past me and headed toward the kitchen.
“What are you doing here?” I followed her.
“Checking in on my favorite lawyer,” she said as she opened the fridge and pulled out a beer.
“Don’t worry. You’re the only lawyer I like.
” Detective Ward paused in thought. “Wait. I forgot about Genny. She’s pretty cool.
Helped me adopt two of my kids. Love her!
You’re a close second because you entertain me. ”
I frowned. “I repeat. What. Are. You. Doing. In. My. House?”
The woman began making a sandwich. “Mind if I make a snack? I’ve been running and gunning all day, and boy, am I famished!”
I shook my head and sat in a barstool. “Why not? You arrested me, forced me to marry Avery, and now you are what - adding home invasion to the list of indignities I am forced to endure.”
She slapped the bread together and took a bite, chewing as she looked at me. She took an uncomfortably long swig of beer, then gently set the sandwich and the bottle on the counter. Right on the counter without a napkin or plate underneath. “Getting married was an embarrassment?”
“That is what you took away from my statement?” I sighed. “What is wrong with you?”
“Oh!” Her eyes widened. “What’s not wrong with me? I’m going through perimenopause. My youngest brother made detective before me. Everyone forgot my 40th birthday, although that turned out okay. That’s how I met The God Among Men.”
“The God Among Men?”
She grinned. “My husband. Luke. I didn’t make it easy on him, but the man was a champ! And the things he can do with a cough drop! Sweet Oprah, that man is a smokeshow! You should see him barely wearing an apron!”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Actually, I’d rather keep that one to myself.
” Detective Ward shrugged before shoving the rest of the sandwich in her mouth, dropping crumbs everywhere in the kitchen, then she polished off the beer and belched.
Loudly. I winced as she wiped her greasy fingers on the kitchen towel hanging on a hook by the sink.
I would have to wash that right after I sanitized the kitchen.
At least that would give me something to do today.
She chuckled at my pained expression. “So, I have a confession to make.” Her brow furrowed. “Make that two. First, I am a detective, but not the type I led you to believe.”
“What?”
“I’m a detective, but more of the private variety.”
“But your badge.”
She grimaced. “Yeah, well. Let’s just say I borrowed that from my little brother while he was preoccupied with some blonde. He has a type, you see.”
“You impersonated a police officer.”
“Only this once, and it was for a good cause,” she admitted. “I was a police officer with Flamingo Cove for many years before retiring and starting my own investigations business.”
“The jail?”
She smiled. “Oh, yeah. That’s a new holding facility at Saber Security. The God Among Men started that business, and his sister and brother-in-law now run it together. Those two are so smart.”
“Was that your second confession?” I wanted this faker out of my house. I would consider pressing charges once she was away from the sharp objects in the knife block.
When the laughter died, she pulled a piece of paper from her back pocket and laid it on the counter. I squinted at the top. It was the marriage license.
“What is this?”
“It turns out you missed initialing a section when filling out your marriage license,” she said. “So, this one isn’t valid.”
“That is impossible. I would never miss something like that.” I snatched the license off the counter and pulled my reading glasses out of my shirt pocket. Sure enough, there was a section that we failed to initial, meaning the marriage license wasn’t valid. I gasped.
The woman nodded and patted me on the chest. “I thought you might feel that way. I just came from Ms. Hunter’s place to tell her the news.
I didn’t think it was weird that you were living in separate homes since there are times when I wish The God Among Men would stay on the other side of the McMansion he built me.
Marriage after 40, AmIRight? Anyhoo.” She tucked her arm through mine and led me to the front door like she owned the place.
“All you and Ms. Hunter have to do is return to the courthouse and refile the paperwork. However, there was some issue with the marriage counseling exemption. Come to think of it, y’all’s marriage is kind of a hot mess. ”
I shook my head.
“Of course, if you don’t want to be married to Ms. Hunter, this is like a Get Out of Marriage Free Card,” Wysdom Ward said as she stopped at the front door to my house. “If that’s what you want.”
“Why would you say that?”
She chuckled. “Well, I did hear you botched the delivery on the ‘I love you.’”
My heart clenched. “What do you know about that?”
“You told her you ‘believed’ you were in love with her right after you came, then didn’t say another word about it? Shame, my good man.” She twisted her lips to the side. “Why didn’t you tell her outside of Sexy Time?”
I snapped my jaw shut. It was an outstanding question that I had no answer to.
“The fact that this perplexes you is a good sign, Warren. It means you’re waking up to the asshole with a Capital A you were to Ms. Hunter when you were in a compromising and vulnerable position.
I’ll save you a little time. There’s no need to write to Reddit and ask, ‘Am I the Asshole?’ Yes. You were the asshole.”
“You talk a lot.” That is all I could manage to say at the verbal vomit that was dripping all over me.
She shrugged. “I do that, too. Dropping truth bombs is kinda my thang, my man. But, I’ll tell you another truth.
I’ve been the asshole plenty. And when someone loves you like The God Among Men loves me, there is a lot they’ll overlook or forgive.
The question is - do you love Ms. Hunter the way I think you do, and what are you willing to do to show her?
Because I've gotta tell you - not sure words are getting it done this time. Mmm-kay? Gotta motor. So many people’s lives to meddle in, so little time. ”
She left me standing in the doorway, watching her hop into The Bolt, where Bolt himself waved at me from the driver’s seat. I narrowed my eyes at him. Of course, he was in on it. They all were. Everyone on this godforsaken island was in on the joke.
I slammed the door to block out the smug expression on both of their faces and wondered what in the hell I was going to do now.