Chapter Thirteen
AXEL
Music thrums through the baseboards, an old grunge band that I used to listen to frequently playing through the speakers.
It’s the first clubhouse party since Rolo passed away, and everyone is tossing one back in his honor.
Morgan has started to leave her bedroom and is helping work the bar with two prospects, even though she doesn’t have to.
“Heard you got a girl hiding away in your bedroom. What have you done with the Axel James we all know?” she says to me as I take a seat on one of the barstools in front of her.
There are heavy dark circles under her eyes, her hair pulled back in a tight bun, her face is void of her usual makeup, but she’s here, she’s talking, and she’s trying.
That’s all any of us could hope for. “She must be pretty special if she’s got you breaking all your rules. ”
She’s not wrong there. I invited Sienna to come out here tonight, but she refused, looking up at me with terrified, bright blue eyes.
The last few days have been much the same, but she’s eating, sleeping, and most importantly, talking with me.
I shouldn’t have asked if she wanted to come here tonight, and it was stupid of me to.
She hasn’t outright told me what happened to her when she was eighteen, but from reading her statement, I know it occurred at a clubhouse party.
“She is,” is all I say in reply.
“Interesting,” Morgan hums as she fills up a beer from the keg.
“What is?”
“The change in all of you. Except for maybe Sin, we all knew he was a big, gooey mess under all that muscle and size.”
I scoff. “There’s no change in me.”
“Axel James, denial is only to prolong the inevitable. Trust me, I know. Don’t waste time while you have it. You never know when the clock stops ticking.”
“Morgan . . . I—”
“Nope. We are not having any tough conversations tonight. I’m going to sling drinks, I am going to stay busy, and I’m going to spend time with my family. So, hush. Go find something to do.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say with a smile, standing up and straightening out my cut.
Men are playing pool, and Sin and Bristol are playing a game of darts with Otto and another prospect.
Men and women are hanging out, drinking, smoking, and shooting the shit.
This is about the time I’d be looking to get my dick wet, but all I’m thinking about is Sienna.
If the music is bothering her. If she feels scared.
If she’s bored. What’s she thinking about?
The summer evening air is balmy against my skin as I walk out onto the deck, but I do my best to ignore it.
Fall will be here before I know it. I take a long drag of my cigarette, looking out at the tall trees that bound around our property.
I’m ready for them to change colors, for the air to become crisper.
I want to get Sienna out on my bike, take her for a ride when the leaves turn shades of orange, yellow, and red. I bet she’d love it.
Fuck, did I just imagine Sienna on the back of my bike? This girl really does have me breaking all my rules. I don’t hate it. Hell, I don’t even want to fight it. I just want to be around her. Morgan is right, we never know when our time here is up, so how do I want to spend it?
A sudden presence pulls me from my thoughts, a warm body pressing against my side, sharp, pointed nails dragging down my back.
I stand upright, taking a step back and finding Cora looking up at me with her sex-kitten eyes.
It’s clear what she wants, and when she steps into my space, her hand reaching for my jeans, I grip her wrist and shake my head.
“What’s the matter, Wrath? Already get off?
That’s never stopped you before. I’m already wet.
Just the thought of feeling you inside me tonight got me ready to take that big, pierced dick.
” Her words have the opposite intended effect, and I swear to the Devil himself, my cock just shriveled up.
Did this shit really work before? Before?
Before what? Sienna? An image of her pretty face flashes behind my eyes, and suddenly, I don’t want to fucking be out here anymore. This isn’t how I want to spend my time.
“Not tonight, Cora. Just not feelin’ it. Sure you’ll find one of my brothers to play with.”
“But you’re who I want,” she pouts, reaching for me again.
I take another step back, this time speaking a little firmer.
I don’t want to hurt her feelings, I appreciate all the girls here and their willingness, but I’ve always been clear and straightforward when it comes to my boundaries, and right now, Cora is fucking pushing them.
“It’s not gonna happen. I said I’m not in the mood.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll go find something else to do tonight.”
“Appreciate it.” Cora saunters off, and I run my hand over my face, the day-old scruff rough against my palm.
“Never thought I’d see the day. Did you just turn down a hookup? I wonder why that could be?” Sin nags as he and Malice join me on the front porch.
“Dude, is your dick broken? Did it fall off? It was only a matter of time. Was it too heavy? Or did you just use it too much? Monroe can sew it back on if you need help, she does that kind of thing all the time at work. I don’t know about penises, but for sure body parts. I can ask her.”
“Both of you fuck off. I appreciate the concern over my dick, but it’s fine.”
“Then why don’t you have her bent over the railing? She was ready for you.”
“I don’t know, man, maybe I’m just not in the mood?”
“Yeah, but you’re always in the mood.”
“Well, shit changes. Fuckin’ drop it,” I snap.
“Whoa! What’s got you all pissed off?” Sin asks, looking at me like I’ve got four fucking heads.
I dab my smoke out, tossing the butt into one of the trash cans we’ve got outside.
Done having my brothers rag on me for not fucking my way through the patch bunnies, I leave them outside and head back through the doors with only one thing on my mind.
When I reach my room, I knock twice, rapping my knuckles against the grain. “It’s just me,” I say through the door.
“Come on in.”
I open the door and nothing . . . nothing .
. . could prepare me for the sight in front of me.
Sienna is sitting cross-legged in the center of my bed, a large T-shirt hanging down past her hips, her bare legs on display, pretty toes peeking out from under her.
Her icy blonde hair is free of the braid she usually wears, with little strands falling loose around her face.
While she’s incredibly stunning, it’s what she’s doing that has me stuck standing in the doorway with my mouth hanging open as if I’ve never seen a woman before.
I quickly shake my head, walking into the room and letting the door shut behind me.
“Hey, sorry, I just needed to get my stash. Didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You’re fine. Stash?” she asks, curiosity coloring her tone.
“Weed.”
“Ohh.”
Oh, she’s curious, alright. “Ever done it?”
“No, never really had an opportunity. Lincoln promised to do it with me one day, but we all got preoccupied with other things.”
“Somethin’ you wanna try?” I ask as I turn around with the little box I keep everything in.
She looks so fucking cute sitting there looking up at me.
I never thought about what it would be like to have a woman in my space, let alone sitting on my bed in a T-shirt, looking so fucking comfortable and sweet.
Sienna is gorgeous, and I have to constantly reel myself in from checking her out.
I never want to make her feel uncomfortable, but right now, with her bare legs on display, the outline of her breasts through the T-shirt visible, I’m really fucking struggling.
This girl has no idea how stunning she is, and I’d give a whole hell of a lot to show her.
That thought, I realize, has nothing to do with my own selfish desire to get my dick wet inside her and everything to do with wanting her to feel confident in her own skin.
“You offering, Axel?”
“Nope. But if you’re asking, then my answer is yes. It’s your choice.” Sienna gives me a partial smile, like she appreciates my answer. She had better get used to it. I’m not making decisions for her.
“What’s it feel like to be high?”
“It takes the edge off for me, relaxed, a little floaty, but for me, it’s just a smooth calmness. Some people get silly and playful, but the strain I get is pretty chill.”
“Axel?” she says, batting her pretty little eyelashes at me. Fuck, she’s cute.
“Yes, Sienna?”
“Can I get high with you?”
“Easiest yes ever, sweetheart.”
I move to the window, lifting it open and letting the warm late-summer air inside.
Then I drag the wooden chair across the floor and set it in front of the window.
I sit my ass down on the edge of the desk and get to work rolling a joint.
I can feel Sienna watching me, and it makes it hard to focus.
I find myself wanting to be in her orbit, wanting her attention.
This is so much fucking better than anything that was going on outside this door.
“So, you found my puzzles, huh?” I say without looking up from my task.
“Oh, uhm, I’m sorry. I got bored of TV; I actually like the quiet. I hope you don’t mind. I wasn’t snooping or anything. It was just at the top of your closet.”
“Of course I don’t mind. Which one did you choose?”
“The autumn skyline. The trees remind me of a life that no longer exists. Reminds me of my mom.”
“What happened to her?” I ask, knowing that I already know the story. Not that she needs to know that. Plus, maybe she wants to talk about it.
“She was killed in her sleep. Cain? He snuck in and killed both of my parents in their beds. After that, Saint kind of lost his shit. Showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night and said there had been a coup. We packed what we could, and then I went into hiding.”
“He’s going to die, Sienna.”