Chapter Twenty-Nine
SIENNA
When I couldn’t find Saige or Kinsey in the gym, kitchen, or hangout area by the bar, I went back to Axel’s room, collapsing onto the bed, that woodsy, citrus scent that is all Axel surrounding me, seeping into my bones.
The clubhouse is quiet, kind of a ghost town right now, and I can’t decide if that’s ominous or not.
A possibility that would have terrified me before.
I haven’t been here long, but when I try to imagine what life was like before coming under their protection, it feels like someone else’s memories.
My life hasn’t been normal since that night when I was eighteen, but since being here, I’ve been able to just breathe without having anyone looking at me with pity in their eyes, or judgment, or that suffocating protective control that Maddox has over me.
Even after Cain is gone, the idea of returning to Autumn Bay makes my stomach turn.
It’s not just Axel, although, admittedly, he’s a part of it.
I’ve fallen completely in love with him.
But I have to be able to choose myself before I let Axel in fully, and that has to start with making a decision about what I want after all of this.
Mrs. Odette was adorable, kind, and welcoming, and expressed how much she could use the help at her café and bakery.
The place was vibrant and charming, and smelled of freshly baked bread and caramelized sugar.
It’s a gem, and I can see myself enjoying going to work every day.
As opposed to going back to my studio apartment above Maddox’s garage and working at the diner with Tommy, where the scent of grease and old coffee clung to everything like sludge.
Even with Maddox, Gage, and Lincoln around, I was lonely, but I never let myself hope for more than the life I was living. Because at least I was alive, at least I was breathing.
But then Axel James walked into my life in his leather cut and motorcycle and stoked that tiny ember inside me, giving me the most dangerous gift of all .
. . hope. I came here terrified and pissed off, used to looking over my shoulder every second of the day, prepared to stay locked up in this room until Maddox came back and got me.
But somehow, this loud, dangerous, welcoming club got under my skin, and I can’t imagine leaving now.
Because it’s the first place that’s ever felt like home in longer than I can remember.
I think about the women that I can call friends now.
How open they all are with me, how honest and raw their friendships have been.
They made room for me when they didn’t have to, they understood me when no one else ever has, and when they asked for my story, they were prepared for the real version of it, not the watered-down one that will make people more comfortable.
And they never once looked at me with pity.
They only wanted to help remind me who I am under the scars.
Then there’s Axel. My chest aches when I think about leaving him.
I can still feel his hands on my face, the way his lips feel against mine.
He touches me now like he knows every inch of me, even though there are parts he doesn’t.
Both Maddox and Axel want to keep me safe, the only difference is Maddox wants to control every single outcome, and Axel wants to give me the space to live, full well knowing he’s got my back as a safe place to land if things don’t go right.
I can take a step forward because I know he’s right there behind me.
We haven’t talked about what comes after, and I don’t know how to bring it up.
There’s a part of my head that keeps reminding me of the life he used to live before I fell into it—partying, sleeping with a different girl every night.
Do men like him build futures? Does he even want me to stay?
Or was his plan to help me stand on my own before he sent me back to Autumn Bay?
He’s a fixer, a savior, a natural caretaker.
Maybe I’m just that something temporary he got tangled up with along the way because he couldn’t let it go.
My heart aches at the thought. But then I close my eyes and see his face, the way he looks at me with such reverence, the way he selflessly cares for me.
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes and let out a rough groan.
I never wanted to fall in love with a biker.
I never wanted to live club life. But then why does it hurt so bad when I think about walking away?
Voices travel down the hallway, so I assume everyone has left church.
With a deep breath, I leave the room, pulling it closed behind me.
When I reach the main room, I trip over my feet, gasping at the sight of my brother, Lincoln, and Gage standing there.
Axel sees me, because of course he does, and moves to my side, but I can’t focus on anything but the shock of seeing the three of them.
“What are you doing here?” I snap. Maddox’s eyes narrow, head cocking to the side.
“Nice to see you, too, sis. Is that how you greet your brother? Haven’t you missed us?”
“Damn, Enna, you always had a little hidden, vicious part of you, but I haven’t seen it in a bit,” Lincoln jests.
He walks forward, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into a huge hug.
I’m too stunned by the sight of the three of them to respond, my hands hanging limp at my sides.
Axel clearly takes that as me being uncomfortable, because the next thing I know, Lincoln’s being shoved off of me, Axel’s hand at my waist, nudging me behind him.
“Ever heard of consent, asshole? Did she give you permission to fucking touch her?”
“Since when do I need permission?”
“Since always. I’m just the one finally enforcing it.
Touch her again without her consent, and I’ll cut your fucking hand off.
I dare you to try me.” I’ve never heard Axel talk like this; his voice is dangerously low.
Lethal. I can’t explain why my core throbs in response, or why I’m suddenly wet.
But then Lincoln steps up to him, and I cringe.
“And who the fuck are you to decide that? You don’t get to make decisions for our sister.”
“That means fuck all to me. Last I checked, you, motherfucker, are not her brother. He”—Axel says, pointing at Maddox—“is. Don’t make the mistake of making assumptions about what she wants again. Fucking ask.”
Lincoln sees red, his eyes squinting, hands balling into fists, and I’ve seen him fight with Maddox and Gage enough times to know that he’s about to swing on Axel.
My heart is in my goddamn throat, nausea swirling around.
I step around him, pushing against Lincoln’s chest. His eyes never leave Axel’s, looking right over my head.
“Stop! You all have to work together, don’t start fighting!
” I yell. Gage comes up to Lincoln’s side, putting his hand on his shoulder and grounding him a bit, a silent warning to stop this shit in its tracks.
Axel, on the other hand, steps up behind me, sliding his arm possessively around my waist, hand flat against my stomach.
My veins thrum with electricity at the contact, my head calming.
It’s like an instant dose of the purest form of oxytocin.
I melt right into his touch, the low rumble of his satisfied hum vibrating through my back.
“Want to tell me what the fuck is going on here?” Maddox demands, looking from me to Axel. He looks pissed. More than pissed. “Holy shit. That’s why you care so much about taking Cain out. It’s not about your brother; it’s about my sister.”
“She’s more than just your fucking sister. She’s a woman, her own fucking person. Maybe start treating her like one, yeah?”
Maddox’s anger is palpable, even though he’s looking around the clubhouse, letting his rage simmer just below the surface. He’s outnumbered here, and he’s smart enough to know it. Unlike the impulsiveness of Lincoln, Maddox knows he needs to keep it reeled in.
Then his eyes turn on me, and my heart falls into my stomach, my mouth going bone dry in an instant. “Let’s go, Sienna. Go pack your shit. I never should have sent you here.”
The growl that comes out of Axel can be heard by everyone in the room, but he doesn’t act on his feelings; instead, his free hand rises to lightly grip my chin, turning my head so I’m looking up at him to meet his blue eyes.
Those butterflies I thought Maddox just murdered with his words?
Alive and well. Currently freaking the hell out and batting their wings wildly.
“What do you want, baby girl? Do you want to go back to Autumn Bay right now with your family, or do you want to stay here?” He doesn’t finish his sentence, but I know the two little words he left off. With me.