Chapter Thirty-One
SIENNA
Filtered sunlight pours into the room, casting long lines of orange and yellow across the old wood floor.
Warmth surrounds me, so comforting and safe.
There’s an ache between my legs that reminds me of last night, of the things Axel said, the things we did.
For so long I felt so unworthy, so disgusted with myself every time I looked in the mirror, that I well and truly believed I would never find what I have now.
Axel’s right, he’s the first man I’ve given myself to, and while I have new memories to hold onto, it doesn’t replace the nightmare that happened to me.
It just reminds me that I don’t have to carry it with me every day anymore.
My self-worth isn’t tied to what Axel thinks, but the softness, acceptance, and care I’ve been given from him remind me that I’m deserving of those things in spades.
I survived something truly horrific, and I’m done giving that monster control over my thoughts.
Axel stirs behind me, his hand absentmindedly running circles over my bare stomach.
I push back against him, feeling the length of his cock already hard behind me.
My core clenches in response, my walls spasming around nothing.
I grind my ass back against him again, loving how his bare skin feels against mine.
I can feel how wet I am, a mix of new arousal and Axel’s cum from only hours ago.
It’s hard to believe I already want him again, but I can’t get enough.
I run my fingertips over the tattoos on his arm, starting a slow roll of my hips against his pelvis.
His arm bounds tighter around me, his lips meeting the back of my neck.
Then his hand is sliding down my waist, slipping between my legs.
I open for him, making it easier as a single finger glides through my folds and finds my core.
“Baby girl . . .” he moans, his voice rough and husky. “So wet for me. You want my cock, Sienna?” he asks as he drags my arousal up to my clit, swirling his finger around it. My hips buck against him.
“So bad. Can I have you, Axel?”
“Fuck, baby. You want me? Come sink down on my cock and show me how much.” Axel flips us quickly so he’s on his back and I’m straddling his legs. We’ve been in this position before, when I ground against him before he sat me on his face. My heart skips a beat at the memory.
I lift up on my knees as Axel swipes the head of his big dick through my slit, coating himself in the leaking cum.
When I feel the blunt head notched at my center, I start to sink down, and I watch the shift on his face as he enters my body.
The way his eyes get heavy, the change in his breathing, the way his fingers flex against my hips.
He helps work himself inside, his piercings adding to how full I feel, until I’m flush against him. I moan out, letting my palms fall forward onto his tattooed chest, breathing heavily as I adjust to his size.
Then I rock my hips back and forth, dragging my clit against his pelvis at the same time. “Oh, fuck,” I moan.
“You like that, baby girl? Keep fucking that pussy on me, you feel so goddamn good.” Axel’s praise gives me an extra boost of confidence, my tempo picking up slightly, finding a rhythm that has pleasure shooting from every single cell.
My entire body feels lit up like fireworks, everything hot and explosive.
I ride him, taking his dick like I’ve done it a million times, not feeling an ounce of shame or awkwardness, just unabashed, unfiltered, wanton desire. This is how it’s supposed to be. Two people connecting physically, willingly, without fear or judgement.
Axel’s hands slide up my body, cupping my breasts and pinching my nipples until they’re firm peaks. The pleasure travels right to my clit, and I moan out in response.
“Oh, fuck, yeah, I like that, baby girl. Your tits are fucking perfect.” Another twist and pinch, my hips stuttering, the tension pulling tighter and tighter until suddenly, it pops, and I’m set free.
I fall hard, my orgasm crashing over me like the great waves on the shore of my hometown, relentless and unforgiving, without a worry in the world.
I float off as I throw my head back on a silent scream, my body shaking over Axel’s. It’s everything.
I fall forward, his arms bounding around my back as he fucks me from beneath, positioning his hips, our bodies slapping together. Axel comes a moment later, my pussy clenching around him, his dick jerking inside me as he fills me up with his cum.
When Axel is spent, he sits up, gently flipping us so I’m on my back, pushing my legs open. Then he’s pulling slowly from my body. I feel every thick inch, every piercing, then warmth trickling from my hole.
“What are you doing?” I ask, watching him with his eyes trained between my legs. When his dick is free, he swipes with two of his fingers from my ass back up to my hole, stuffing them inside.
“I told you. I’m obsessed with seeing my cum leaking out of you. I want to make sure it stays right where it belongs, right inside this tight pussy.” And just like that, I’m ready to go again.
Axel and I stayed locked up in his room for most of the day, but I knew it had an expiration date.
Especially because there was someone else here I needed to face.
Axel explained to me the club’s plan, how Maddox, Gage, and Deacon were leaving tonight, and then the Hell’s Heathens would meet them before the sun rose at the diner.
Then they’d attack. Nausea swirls in my stomach, that fear creeping its way in.
The summer sun descends behind the mountains when I finally leave the room, ready to talk before he leaves.
The clubhouse is eerily quiet, a strange, focused atmosphere I’ve never felt before.
Everyone is either preparing for the inevitable or spending time with their women.
I walk through the clubhouse, finding Gage and Lincoln talking with Otto and some others at the bar.
They both smile when they see me coming.
“There she is,” Lincoln says. He holds his arms out but doesn’t pull me in. I guess he learned a lesson from Axel last night. “Can I hug you?”
I laugh at him, walking into his arms and wrapping mine around his waist. Gage is next, pulling me into a side hug. Things have always been different between us since the night he found me, but I hope someday he can heal from it like I have.
“Where is he?” I ask.
“Outside having a smoke.”
“Be safe. I love you both.”
“Since when are we ever reckless, Enna? You know us better than that,” Lincoln jests.
I roll my eyes, walking off in search of my big brother.
I walk outside, the air cooling, the weeks having given way to summer’s end, nights finally more enjoyable.
I find him sitting by himself in front of the fire pit, his back to me, his shoulders tense.
“You’ve changed, Enna,” Maddox says the moment I take a seat next to him by the fire.
It rages, the wood crackling and burning, ash floating on the wind like fireflies.
“Up until that night, you had this fire about you that couldn’t be contained.
I thought he doused it completely. Until now.
I’m not going to pretend to understand what happened here, but seeing this side of you again .
. .” He runs his hand over the rough scruff at his jaw. “I owe you an apology.”
“No,” I cut him off. “We’re not going to start apologizing to each other when we were all just trying to survive.”
“I owe you one anyway. So please?”
I nod, shutting up and letting him say his piece.
“There’re things I kept from you. That Dad and Mom kept from you.
It’s one of those dark family secrets that you take to the grave.
It fucked me up, Enna, and I still struggle with it every damn day.
I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to make things harder on you, and I know it’s fuckin’ selfish, but I didn’t want you to look at me differently. We’re all each other has.”
I start to put the pieces together on my own.
I may have been depressed and fighting my own battles, but I’m not blind, and I’m certainly not stupid.
My stomach churns with bile, and tears prick my eyes before he’s even finished telling me what I’ve already subconsciously known.
Maddox’s hair, his dark eyes, the way he looks nothing like our parents, the conversations I had with my mom after my assault, and the way I’ve silently questioned why Maddox hasn’t been harmed by Cain.
I just didn’t want to believe something so horrifying.
“Twenty years before your attack, Mom was raped, Dad found her and exiled the club member, but not before he found out she was pregnant. With me. They fell in love, raised me as Dad’s, and then he came back, looking for a way to get back at Dad for taking everything from him.
If he couldn’t have Mom, you were the next best thing in his eyes. ”
My brother bats a tear away, and my heart shatters into a million pieces. That fire in me rages into an inferno. The destruction that Cain has caused for all of us is monumental, a twisted, fucked-up web he’s created for his own sick and selfish gain.
I stand from my chair and squat down in front of my brother, his huge body towering over me.
I grab his face, forcing him to look at me.
I meet his eyes, and all I see back is my brother.
The guy who would play Barbie dolls with me when I wasn’t allowed to have friends over, the brother who taught me how to ride a bike, and to swim, and to shoot a gun.
The guy who has been dealing with his own trauma for so long but still taking care of me the best he knows how.
I don’t look at him and see my abuser. I just see love. I just see my brother.
“Listen to me right now, you are nothing like Cain. You share DNA, and DNA doesn’t mean shit.
Lincoln and Gage are my brothers, too, and I don’t look at them any differently.
You are my brother, and Mom’s son; you are Dad’s son.
You are a product of something terrible, Maddox, but that doesn’t mean you are.
Lotuses don’t bloom without mud. Don’t forget that. ”
Maddox nods, wiping away a few fresh tears. I’ve never seen my brother cry, in all the years I’ve known him. I hate that he’s carried this for so long.
“He’s going to die tomorrow, Mad. I feel it in my bones.”
“Yeah, Enna, he is.”