Chapter 21 #3
The feel of his lips again after so long fills my soul in a way I can’t even describe.
The giant hole that has been my heart for months finally starts filling under his exploration.
He comes back every time he breaks away, for just one more kiss.
Heat returns to my belly, my body begging me to deepen it when he pulls back.
“No, pretty girl. I’m good. That was for you,” he explains, his hand still holding my face as he looks at me, eyes bright and shining, the slight twinkle returning to them.
He pulls me in for one more kiss, almost as if he can’t help himself.
A look passes over his face that I can’t quite read. Could it be adoration?
“But I—” I grin, then look down and notice a slightly darker spot on his black pants. “Oh.”
My cheeks flush red as I look back up at him. He came in his pants from just going down on me, which makes me giggle a little. Kane follows, the sound lightening the situation.
“This feels like high school all over again,” Kane groans as his hands drop from my face and he stands.
He straightens his shirt and pulls me up after him.
He brings my dress down and smooths it out for me, then flattens my hair—which I’m sure will be impossible to brush through later—before reaching down to grab his tie from the bed.
I peek around for my underwear but come up empty in my search.
I rustle through the blankets on the bed, trying to ignore the giant elephant in the room.
“Avery?” Kane asks from where he’s standing in front of me as I pretend to look for my missing thong in the now-messed-up bedcovers.
“Hmm,” I reply, my search still fruitless, before I finally take a breath and steel myself as I turn to him.
“Thank you,” he expresses softly, his hands in his pockets. A boyish quality takes over his features, showing a shyness I’ve so rarely seen in him.
“For what? Uh…” I gesture toward his pants, causing a laugh to burst out of him. He drops his head back and laughs with his whole body, infecting me until I join him.
“No, thank you for coming,” he flirts, a smirk on his face.
“Okay, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean tonight. I know things have been different, but I really appreciate you coming with me anyway. For being there with me,” he finishes.
He runs his hands through his hair, one of his telltale signs that he’s nervous.
“You’re welcome,” I start softly as I walk closer to him and bring my face up to meet his.
I stare into his warm brown eyes, the gold flecks shining back at me with so much love that I have to clear my throat to dislodge it.
“You are enough, Kane. I want you to know there has never been a time since I met you that I haven’t noticed what a treasure you are.
You’re worth more than your weight in gold to me and to the people who care about you.
Your heart is so big. Don’t let them close that part of you off.
Don’t let them take it away from you, because your heart is my favorite thing about you.
Your parents not seeing you says more about them than it does about you.
They have all this money, all these things, and they’re missing the most priceless thing of all: your love.
I feel sorry for them,” I whisper to him, his eyes slowly turning watery as I speak.
I trail my finger along a stray tear that leaks out, catching it before it can fall. “You were always enough for me,” I finish softly, my heart heavy as I straighten and prepare to leave, wanting to run from this situation on a high note.
I give him one more look, waiting until he can see the truth in my soul, before I turn and walk away.
I open the door and find my way down the stairs.
The party is still in full swing outside, so I stay along the darker hallways and grab my bag from the guest closet as someone lets me out the front door.
The air has turned cold, the wind whipping with the storm the forecasters broadcast earlier.
I let a tear of my own fall, finally. Not for myself, but for him.
I let them fall for the Kane who has had to fight tooth and nail against the belief that he needs to be anything other than himself to be enough.
I wish more than anything I could change the way he sees himself, that I could let him see himself through my eyes.
That he could see the beautiful boy I met who turned into the devastating man he is now.
Every part of him is so wonderfully made, so beautifully crafted to love every part of me. How could I not do the same?
I can’t be what fixes him, I realize. Nor can I force him to confront all these parts of himself that make him feel unlovable. That’s something he needs to do on his own now, and I wish like hell I could be the one by his side when he discovers just how wonderful he is.
I roll my car down the drive and let myself mourn for that lost boy. I let myself mourn what we had and what we could’ve been. I don’t believe this is the end of our story, but how can I ask him to heal if I’m still holding on to past hurts?