Chapter 14
Drake
I give my wife a smile. She smiles back but I don’t think she’s buying what I’m selling today. Luckily, she’s too busy clearing her mother’s dining room table to focus on me. She hasn’t left my side at all since yesterday. The only time I got a little space was when I went into the bathroom, but after fifteen minutes, she came in to check on me. We never lock doors. We are completely open to each other. She found me standing at the sink looking at my reflection in the mirror.
She didn’t say a word. She took my hand and dragged me out of the bathroom. We climbed into bed, and I let her make love to me.
“Daddy,” Carter says, running into the dining room, “come watch the TV.” He takes my hand to pull me into the living room .
“Hold on, Carter,” Mr. Nash says, “I need to talk to your dad for a second. Go watch your show with Mason and Kyle. I need you boys to watch Princess P for me.” He messes Carter’s hair and picks up Priya, who is trying to climb his legs.
Nia must hear her father because her head snaps up. Even her mother freezes while wiping down the counters. She looks at her husband, but he takes Carter and Priya into the living room and gestures for me to follow.
“Dad,” Nia says, concern in her voice.
“Oh, calm down, Nia. If I was gonna kill him, I would have done it years ago.”
A couple of years ago, I wouldn’t be so sure, but we’ve gone from hostile to cordial. Cordial is the best it’s ever been between us, and based on how we first met, cordial is a miracle. Despite that, we’ve never spent time alone. It’s always in a family setting. I know he goes out for drinks with Ray monthly, and I’ve never been invited. He tolerates me because of his daughter and grandkids, and I accept that.
“Here,” he says moments later. He throws my coat at me, and I barely have time to catch it before he gestures for me to follow him out the back door.
It’s a cold November day. It’s gray enough to match my mood and the wind is bitter and unforgiving. I button my cashmere coat and pull out my gloves. Once I’m bundled up, I lean against the rail on the deck and wait to hear what this is about.
Nia opens the blinds and looks at us. Mr. Nash goes inside, closes the blinds, and comes back out.
“You guys have been here for two hours, and in all that time, you’ve barely said two words. Usually, you’re talking with the boys, or you’ll call that fool, and he’ll get the kids all riled up with some bullshit. ”
I want to tell him that for someone who claims he doesn’t like Wyatt, he sure talks about him a lot, but I don’t. I’m not in the mood.
“Okay,” is all I say with a shrug, unsure of what his point is.
“Okay," Mr. Nash says, doing a poor job of mimicking my voice. “That’s all you have to say? What happened to the smartass version? I like him better.”
“I didn’t realize you liked any version of me,” is all I say back.
He stares at me, and I assume he’s waiting for me to say more, but there’s nothing I can think of. He’s the last person I want to discuss this with. I know what he thinks of my father, and he’s right.
“I know you’re not standing on my deck feeling sorry for yourself.” When all I do is look away, he continues. “What’s going on with you? And don’t tell me nothing. I don’t want to hear how you don’t want to talk about it either. Something’s wrong. You’ve been walking around like someone ate your dessert. Is Paradise Construction in trouble?”
He stands in front of me and crosses his arms. My wife is a small woman, but her father is huge. He stands there, tall, imposing, and unsmiling. He kind of reminds me of my dad at this moment. He could never stand to think any of us were upset. Or I thought he couldn’t. But he watched me for years and never tried to fix it.
“It’s just a bunch of shit.” I close my eyes, throw my head back, and run my hands over my face.
“Well, a bunch of shit happens to be my specialty. I’m a detective. I’ve been a cop probably longer than you’ve been alive. There isn’t any type of shit in this world I haven’t heard of. Maybe I can help.”
“No one can help me with this, Mr. Nash, but why would you want to?” I ask. “You tolerate me. ”
“For my daughter and my grandkids,” he says. “And for you too.” That surprises me so much I become speechless. “You love my daughter. You’re a devoted husband and father. I believe that you didn’t abandon Nia when she was pregnant. What I’ll never forgive you for is blackmailing her into marriage, but I don’t want to talk about that since everyone else seems to have gotten over it, and I promised my wife I’d let it go. I want to know what’s wrong.”
He gestures to the small table, and I take a seat. He sits across from me and doesn’t say another word. He just waits. I weigh my options. On one hand, we’re not close, but on the other, I trust him. I trust him to be nothing but brutally honest with me, and right now, I need an unbiased opinion. After a deep breath, I decide to talk.
“Before my father died, he left a letter and a video with his lawyer for me. I’ve known about them for over two years, but I finally read the letter and watched the video yesterday. I guess it’s his version of a deathbed confession, even though I sat by his bed for months while he was sick. He had plenty of time to tell me to my face, but he didn’t.”
He nods in understanding. Some of the harshness in his face softens. He starts to reach toward me, and just when I think he’s going to touch my hand to comfort me, he pulls it back.
“It was to explain why he did what he did,” I continue.
He nods again, but I look away from him and stare into the distance.
“Let me guess. You don’t feel any better.”
I hang my head and let out a deep sigh. “I don’t. I’m still confused. I’m still hurt and pissed the fuck off. I lost out on Carter’s first three years and four with Nia. And for what? For nothing. Who the fuck does he think he is that he can manipulate my life and my future? Why did he get a say in who I love?” I stand abruptly and give him my back. “For a while yesterday, I thought of giving it all up. I considered walking away from Paradise Construction for good. I even considered taking my family and moving across the country for a clean start. Maybe go to California. Nia loved it there when I took her last year.” He remains quiet. I expect him to chastise me for having the gall to even consider taking his daughter and his grandkids away, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t say anything. “He talked about how he suffered too because he missed out on Carter. Can you believe that shit?” When he remains quiet, I lean over the railing. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it. He did this to make himself feel better, not me. I feel like shit. In fact, I feel worse now than before I read the letter and watched the video. And that’s the last thing I need right before Christmas.”
I hear the scraping of the chair and heavy footsteps. He stands next to me, and we both lean against the railing and look out into the darkness. We’re silent and still until I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“I wish I could say or do something to take it away, or at the very least, make it better,” is all he says.
“Yeah, sure,” I snort.
“I do. I objected at first, but you’re a part of this family. My family. It’s my job to take care of all of you.”
“Including me?” I ask, stunned.
“Yes, you, dummy. You’re my daughter’s husband. You’re the father of two of my grandchildren. What your father did is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever heard of. Trust me. That’s saying a lot. I’m a cop, and I thought I had heard of every fucked-up thing until I heard about that.” He moves closer to me. “I don’t have magic words for you.”
“You know what? I appreciate that. I don’t want platitudes or empty words. I’m pissed off, and I don’t want to have to fake it with you.”
“It’s easy to focus on all you’ve lost but look at what you have now.”
“Trust me, I know.”
“Good. Focus on them. They need you. They love you. You’re a good husband and father. You’re not a dummy. You seem to have some intelligence. I think you’re good at your job.” I smile at that. For all the progress we’ve made, I never could have envisioned a scenario where he would be the one trying to make me feel better about this. “From where I’m standing, you have it all. And if you’re angry at your father, go to his grave and tell him.”
“I already did that,” I admit. “Last year on the anniversary of his death. It took all my strength not to spit on it. Do you want to know the worst part?”
“You still miss him,” he says.
I nod. “I miss having a dad, and before this, he was a great one. He was funny and smart. He spent time with us. Taught us things, and one of the main lessons was accepting everyone. At least that’s what I thought. Everything was a lie.” I sigh. “And as much as I hate him, I still remember the good times, and part of me still loves him.” I look away. “I know you must think I’m a fool for feeling this way.”
After a moment he says, “I don’t. Your feelings are your own, and it’s not my place to judge them. Feelings are complicated, especially when it comes to our parents. My mother was the sweetest woman on earth, but my father?” He shakes his head. “Let’s just say he was not only complicated, but extremely flawed. I don’t have any good memories with him, but the one lesson he taught me was that I didn’t want to parent the way he did. If there’s one thing to learn from what your father did, it’s that.”
“Trust me, I know,” I say. “I’m always going to respect my kids’ decisions and not manipulate their lives.”
He nods, but we remain silent for a few more moments. “So, what are you gonna do about the letter and video?” he asks.
I shrug. “What can I do other than get over it? It’s not like I can confront him. It’s just going to take some time, but don’t worry. I won’t let this affect Nia or Carter,” I say, doing my best to reassure him.
“Nia’s been watching your every move since you got here. She’s already affected, and that’s okay because she loves you. This was done to her too, and I don’t want to get into a debate about which one of you is the biggest victim, but he was your father. He didn’t owe Nia anything, but he owed it to you to be a halfway decent human being.” He puts a hand on my shoulder again. “But the good news is that this will hurt less in time.”
“God, I hope so because I can’t imagine it hurting more,” I say. “I don’t have time to dwell on it though. I have to make sure my family has a great Christmas. Maybe when we go to the Bahamas, I’ll get a chance to rest.” As much rest as one can get when there will be four kids in the house including three rambunctious boys and a needy toddler.
“Good luck with that. You’ll be better off taking a few days off when you get back and Carter returns to school.”
“That’s actually not a bad idea.”
“I’m full of good ideas. You should join me and Ray for beers one of these nights.”
“You must really feel sorry for me,” I say. “I’m not going to intrude on your father and son time, but I appreciate the offer.”
“See? That’s your problem. You don’t realize who the patriarch is around here, and what I say goes. Have your driver bring you here by seven next Friday. Or just be a man and drive yourself, for fucks sake. Don’t argue with me.” He taps my shoulder and opens the sliding glass door, but instead of going inside, he speaks again. “There’s only one rule you need to abide by.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“I’m the dad, which means I pay.”
“Got it,” I say, and he gestures for me to go inside.
The moment I step over the threshold, Nia runs to me. She looks me over and then looks at her dad. “Are you okay?” she asks me.
“Oh, he’s fine,” her father says. “I only hit him twice.”
“What did you talk to him about, Dad?” Her voice comes out almost accusatory.
“I can’t have a conversation with my son-in-law?” he asks.
“You’ve never asked him to talk alone before,” Nia says.
“And?” her dad challenges.
“He’s going through—”
“I’m fine, baby girl,” I say to Nia. I cup her cheeks and kiss her forehead.
“We were talking about your trip to the Bahamas,” her dad says.
“That’s all the kids talked about all weekend,” Nia’s mom says. “Mason can’t wait to get in the pool, and Kyle can’t wait to get on the boat. Carter wants to go to the aquarium.”
“And we’ll be here in the cold. Maybe we’ll get lucky and have a blizzard while you guys are away enjoying the nice weather,” her dad says. “While you’re at the beach with the sand and the warm breeze, we’ll be here with the snowblower. Hopefully it still works.”
Nia looks at me and furrows her brows. Ray strolls into the kitchen and helps himself to another slice of apple pie .
“You can come,” I say, knowing full well they will turn me down like they’ve always done.
“Okay,” her father says quickly, shocking me. Even Nia freezes at that. “It’s about time we get to see that fancy plane of yours,” he says. “Mason talks about that too. That boy thinks he’s a Paradise heir, I swear.”
“You guys want to come?” Nia asks. “Since when?”
“You don’t think your mother and I deserve a vacation too?” her dad asks. “We like the Bahamas. We went there on our honeymoon.”
“Papa and Grandma are coming?” Mason asks. When they nod, he says, “Yes!” He runs to tell Kyle and Carter.