Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
MAY
I t was an extremely busy week, thanks to the Spring Food Fling and her decision to expand the bakery. But she made it a point to schedule therapy because she needed to sort through the chaos in her head. The first night of penetrative sex unleashed something in both of them. Clementine joked that they were getting all their pent-up frustrations out, but it was so much more than that. The unsaid words floated between them and it was almost as if sex was a way to express their feelings without actually saying it out loud.
She wasn’t complaining, but it was making her overthink everything.
While being at therapy was about understanding those things, it was also having someone who wasn’t biased help her through everything else in life. She’d bitten off more than she could chew, but when she grumbled about it to Oakley or Mack, they reminded her she was a badass and could totally do it. She was a badass, but she was also one that was anxious and stressed. She could count on Rhiannon to be honest and call her out if necessary.
“Your face is doing that thing again.”
“That’s my face,” Clementine muttered, but she knew what Rhiannon meant. Blinking and moving her jaw around, she added, “I’ve been making all these changes and waiting for the panic to hit.”
“It’s normal to anticipate the overwhelm. The more important question is why ?”
“That’s how things have always been.”
Rhiannon scribbled something, then looked up at her. “One at a time, take me through the big changes.”
Blowing out a breath, she sat up straight. “I signed the bakery up for the Spring Food Fling in a few weeks. The organizers show up every year and I usually turn them down. This year, something prompted me to accept. Now we have to craft a perfect menu, close the shop for two days and churn out tons of food.”
“Does that worry you?”
“Sort of. More than that, I feel like maybe I’m setting myself up to fail. I’ve never done anything of this magnitude before. For weddings, we bake and plate, and that’s it. What you see is what you get. On a grand scale like this, I can’t run out of food. It looks bad.”
“You could always put up a sign that says ‘limited stock’.”
She shook her head. “Doesn’t that reflect badly on the business? That we can only make so much at a time, sorry!”
“Possibly, but you’re also being honest with people. You don’t want them to get their hopes up when they arrive and you have nothing to offer them.”
Clementine chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m excited about this, don’t get me wrong. As usual, my staff have no qualms, because they believe we can do it. I don’t know why it’s weighing on me.”
“You’ve always trusted your crew, so why stop now?”
“You’re right. As always ,” she said, a slight teasing tone in her voice. Rhiannon always helped her sort through the noise in her head in a way that wasn’t condescending or annoying.
“Comes with the territory of being a therapist. Here’s what I want you to do—talk to your staff. Express your concerns and work together to find a solution.” At her nod, Rhiannon smiled. “Okay, next change.”
“I’m looking into expanding.”
“Finally!”
Laughing, she brushed a hand through her thick hair. She hadn’t styled it in days, not when Oakley kept messing it up. “We’ve seen a sudden rise in customers thanks to a few social posts. While that’s great, I never intended for it to be a place where you could sit with your coffee and eat some cake. We’ve got two small tables and a big one for cake tastings. We need more room. And , if we do well at the Fling, we’re going to have even more new customers.”
“I’m impressed that you’re thinking so far ahead. The last time we talked about this, you shut me down.”
“I was scared. I mean, I’m still scared. What if it fails? What if I don’t find the right space? What if it’s out of the way? Those questions are going to keep haunting me. This really wise woman once told me that what ifs are my brain’s way of making silly excuses.”
Rhiannon flipped her hair over a shoulder. “Such a wise woman.”
Clementine chuckled. “I’m seeing a few shop spaces this afternoon with Mack.”
“All you need to do is keep an open mind. Have expectations, obviously, but know that the vision in your mind won’t always fit into the spaces you find. You have to be open to adjustments, if necessary.”
“I know. Mack already warned me that I can’t show up with rigid ideas in mind.”
Rhiannon smiled and made another note as she said, “How are things with Oakley?”
“They’re good.”
“You know I need more than that.”
Huffing out a breath, Clementine crossed her arms over her chest. “They’re really good. We had sex, we’re having sex. Intercourse sex and it’s…incredible. We’re learning what does and doesn’t work and maybe even getting carried away a little. He’s still asking questions, checking in every step of the way. We’re exploring all of this together and that somehow makes it even better?”
“I’m glad that you found someone who meets you at your point of comfort, because that’s the most important thing. What about your fears?”
She made a face and looked away. “Still there. But from the start, I’ve found myself really comfortable with Oakley. I like the way he makes me feel.”
“That’s a good segue into my next question: have your feelings for him changed?”
“Yes.”
“Does he know?”
She shook her head, remembering the look in Oakley’s eyes the first night they slept together. She could see all her emotions and feelings reflected back at her, but both of them seemed hesitant about voicing their thoughts. This inherent fear of being the one to put herself out there and not have the other person not say the same thing would always linger. There was no doubt about their feelings, but Clementine couldn’t be the first to say it.
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way and he was only behaving like this to get into your pants?” Rhiannon said at her silence.
She huffed. “I love when you can read my mind.”
“Let’s do the what if game here, but make it positive.”
“What if…” she trailed off, pretending like she hadn’t already played the game by herself. “What if he’s exactly what I need.”
“What if he’s the best change of your life.”
“What if he really does love and want me.”
Rhiannon nodded. “What if he’s in this for more than sex.”
Clementine’s chin wobbled. “What if his feelings are real.”
She swallowed and closed her eyes, fending off tears. Her mind wandered to the day before, when they were sitting on her couch, doing their own thing. Sure, the morning had started with fantastic loud sex that had the headboard slamming into her bedroom wall. After a shower and breakfast they’d grabbed their notebooks and sat quietly to work. Not even at two ends of the couch, right beside each other. She got to watch him sketch a tattoo for a client, a very life-like octopus, while she played around with flavors, adding little drawings of cakes as she went.
“Allow yourself to enjoy the moments with him, Clementine. And if saying the words are difficult, why don’t you keep showing him how he makes you feel? Take those small steps and it might all work out.”
Nodding, she sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears as the alarm rang.
“And do me a favor, if everything works out for you two, bring him to a session? I want to meet the person that is unknowingly encouraging you to make all these changes in your life.”
“I’ll think about it,” she told Rhiannon, hugging her quickly before leaving.
After her session, she drove to meet Mack and the realtor. Jesse Dao, the woman she’d spoken to on the phone a few days ago, promised to have a variety of spaces for her to see. As was the case with everything, Clementine did a lot of research. She’d done some before she opened Pretty Baked, but this time around she was far more thorough. She knew what size she needed the shop to be, how many tables she wanted to fit, the length of the display case and she also knew the colors and tiles she wanted to use. Whatever she settled on would be the forever home of Pretty Baked and it needed to be absolutely perfect.
The first two places were beautiful, but they lacked what she needed. The third place had potential, but looked like it would require a lot of work to polish up. Clementine wasn’t afraid of a little work and getting the place to look like hers , but she also didn’t want to spend the next six months struggling to get the shop up and running. The fourth place was a dud because there were only two windows in a space that was entirely wall.
Through it all, she noticed Mack and Jesse flirting. Given that he hadn’t shown interest in anybody in a really long time, she didn’t disturb them. Instead, she wandered through the spaces on her own and made notes, took pictures to review later, and tried to imagine what they would look like with Pretty Baked vibes.
Even though they’d spent most of the afternoon looking at shops, Clementine believed that her expectations were too high. Until the second last place, where the minute she set foot inside, it felt like she was home. The last time she’d felt like that was when she first kissed Oakley. It met every single one of her requirements and most of all, it had large windows stretching across three of the four walls, letting in natural light.
This is it, I found the place .
Despite knowing that it was the one, she went with Jesse to the final space and did her usual walking around, taking notes. Then thanked the realtor before hopping into her truck with Mack.
“You found the one, didn’t you?” he asked, taking over driving so she could scribble in her notebook.
“You first,” she teased, bent over her notebook. “Is my realtor the one?”
“She’s beautiful, but I think I scare her.”
“You’re a mountain of a man with a deep voice and she’s tiny , of course you scare her.”
Mack flipped her off as he drove and said, “Seriously, I saw the way your eyes lit up.”
“Everyone told me not to commit, so I’m not saying anything.” Instead, she pulled out her phone to check on all the buzzing from earlier and found a series of texts from Oakley.
Oakley
You know what I’ve been thinking about all day?
The way your pussy milked me so hard last night
I want to do that again.
It continues to be the best feeling in the world.
Up for sexscape? That’s a sex escape.
I’ll make it worth your while.
“Tiny, you with me?” Her head snapped up and Mack frowned. “I’m assuming that was Oakley.”
Nodding, she put her phone away and leaned back. “What were you saying?”
“You never said why he couldn’t go with you.”
“It’s a charity week at the tattoo shop. They open up the space to kids from a nearby school to learn and practice art, see how a business is run.”
She knew how excited Oakley was to be part of something like that. Especially since she remembered what he said about kids drawing all over him back in California. He’d offered to go see shops with her, but Clementine knew how important that week was for him.
“That’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah. He’s been exhausted every day, but he does look happy.”
Mack glanced at her with an unreadable look in his eyes. “Was that the one? Jesse said she’s got a few more places to show you otherwise.”
“What else did Jesse say to you?”
Mack groaned. “You’re like a dog with a bone. Answer my question first.”
Chuckling, she tapped the open page of her notebook. “I think so. I want to see it again and then decide. But I’m not against visiting more places.”
“Don’t do it with the intention of playing matchmaker.”
“But you like her, right?”
“I barely know her.”
She narrowed her eyes, but Mack refused to look at her. “Did you get her number?”
“Clementine.”
“Does that dad voice work on Dig?”
“After they roll their eyes. Wonder where they picked it up from.”
“You really should be careful what you teach your kid, Mack.”
He snorted and she chuckled as he pulled up in front of Indigo’s school. While her best friend went to grab his kid, Clementine checked her phone.
Oakley
Hope shop viewing is going well.
That came through minutes after she had climbed into her truck with Mack. Only then did she realize she forgot to reply to his previous messages. But he wasn’t done, more texts popped up.
Oakley
Might get your pussy tattooed onto my body.
Pink, lush and pretty.
*sends a drawing of a vagina*
What do you think?
Clenching her phone tight, she counted backwards from ten. He’d been pretty flirty and forward from the day they met. With every shift of their relationship, his words got filthier. Now that they were fucking, he was at a whole other level. She liked knowing the effect she had on him. That when they were apart, he couldn’t handle being away from her.
Clementine
I approve.
But should you be drawing vaginas while there are kids around?
Oakley
I gave them a task, so they’re busy.
Clementine
I think you should take a closer look tonight to make sure you got all the details right.
Oakley
I definitely should do that.
Clementine
I’ll make her nice and lush for you.
Oakley
Shame that I can’t get out of here right now. I’d love to be staring at all that lushness.
Clementine
Few more hours, Oak. You can be patient.
Oakley
But I don’t want to be.
Clementine
Good boys get rewarded.
Oakley
Yes, chef.
She spent a few hours at the MacArthur house, drinking iced coffee and listening to Indigo talk about their day. Her phone hadn’t buzzed again, so she figured that Oakley was occupied, but she missed his filthy texts. At least Dig had found a way to distract her. They were on a mission to convince Mack they needed a dog and her best friend just stared at his kid like they were speaking in tongues. Which, understandably, annoyed Indigo to the point of stomping out of the room in frustration. After she’d managed to get the two of them calmed down and talking about anything but dogs, Clementine headed out.
Her first stop was her house to grab some clothes. Just like she’d made room for Oakley in her closet, he’d done the same for her. So far, most of her work clothes had shifted into his apartment, and everything else still lived in her own space. She intended to spend the weekend with him, so Clementine grabbed a few dresses and some of her favorite pieces of lingerie.
Then she swung by the grocery store to grab supplies to make dinner. Oakley’s kitchen was filling up with utensils and dishes and she kept his fridge stocked whenever she had the time. Her plan for that evening was to make spaghetti and meatballs, with a twist. When she let herself into his apartment not too long after, she was greeted by an excitable Gracie and a young woman she figured was Deana, the dog sitter.
“Hey, I’m Clementine.”
“You’re the one filling up the fridge.”
“Guilty as charged.” She smiled and squatted to give a hyper Gracie some attention. “I know you weren’t expecting me, but I hope it’s okay that I’m here.”
“Hey, this is more your place than mine. Oakley’s mentioned you, so I’m not worried you’re gonna steal the golden fluff.”
Looking at the fluff in question, Clementine smiled and kissed the top of Gracie’s head. “Don’t think I’d get very far even if I did.”
“She’s pretty attached to him. Do you want me to take her out before I leave?”
“I’ll do that. Thanks, Deana,” she told the other woman and then bid her goodbye. With Gracie hovering close by, Clementine unloaded her groceries. Then she grabbed the leash and they went for a walk.
The whole time, she thought about what Rhiannon had said during her session. She might still fear saying the words out loud, but she was damn good at showing her affections. While she had no idea if she was displaying them regularly, Clementine liked to think that she was doing it in the little things.
Some would laugh if she said that food was her love language. She didn’t like most people or have patience to deal with them, but when they were important to her, Clementine would cook. What she did at the bakery wasn’t her way of expressing love, that was her job. Cooking for Mack and Indigo was love, though they always got the words too. Making pizza, donuts, cupcakes and cakes for Oakley? That was affection growing into love. Whipping out her special recipes and feeding him was just the small ways in which she could declare her feelings.
When Gracie started to lag and whine, tired of her walk, they returned to the apartment. Clementine filled up the water and food bowls then started on dinner.