Chapter 47 Ryan #2
I forced myself to focus as the booth buzzed with conversation and laughter, most of it fueled by Shane and Nina’s never-ending banter.
“Admit it, Shane,” Nina said, leaning forward with a smirk. “You’re terrified of karaoke because you can’t hold a tune to save your life.”
Shane scoffed, leaning back and throwing an arm over the booth. “Wrong. I’m not scared of karaoke–I’m sparing all of you from the embarrassment of realizing how terrible you are compared to me.”
“Right,” Nina drawled, rolling her eyes. “Your last performance of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is still haunting my nightmares.”
“That was artistic interpretation,” Shane shot back. “The crowd loved it.”
“They were drunk!”
Kyle chuckled, his gaze darting between them. “Sounds like I missed an unforgettable performance.”
“Unforgettable is one way to put it,” Nina quipped, shaking her head.
Across from me, Harper laughed softly, her lips curling in amusement.
And just like that, I was gone.
Her eyes crinkled at the corners, and for a second, I got lost in the sight of her. That sound–it did something to me.
“Hey Harp,” Shane said grinning. “What's your go-to karaoke song? Don't tell me you’re one of those people who sits in the corner all night.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, her lips twitching. “I plead the fifth.”
“Cop-out!” Shane declared. “You’re singing tonight, no excuses.”
“Don’t bully her,” Nina said, giving Shane a mock glare. “You’ve got enough people to humiliate yourself in front of. Leave her out of it.”
Harper laughed again, shaking her head. “I think I need another drink if I’m going to survive this conversation.” She stood, smoothing the fabric of her wrap dress, and I had to drag my eyes away. “Be right back.”
As she walked away, my eyes followed her instinctively. Her dress hugged her in all the right places, the soft material swaying with each step. She reached the bar, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she signaled the bartender.
Some guy walked right up to her.
Tall. Messy blond hair. A boyish grin that set my teeth on edge.
He had that easy confidence–like a guy who strolled through life without ever having to try too hard.
He looked like he belonged in some charming rom-com, the kind of guy who could make a woman swoon with nothing more than a well-timed smile.
And Harper?
She was smiling.
He leaned an elbow on the bar, and said something that made her laugh. That soft, effortless sound that had once been mine.
A muscle ticked in my jaw. I tried to focus on anything else–the condensation on my glass, the chatter around the booth–but my eyes kept dragging back to her. She looked so at ease, like she didn’t have a single care in the world as she smiled at him.
He gestured wildly, making some joke, and she laughed again, placing a hand on his arm. The touch was brief. Casual. Friendly. Still, it felt like a punch to the gut.
She’s just talking to someone, I told myself. But the jealousy churned anyway, hot and unrelenting.
Shane, of course, noticed immediately. “Dude, relax,” he said, smirking as he clapped a hand on my shoulder. “You look like you’re about to charge over there.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered, gripping my drink tighter.
“Sure you are,” Nina added, her tone laced with sarcasm. “You’re totally not glaring daggers at that guy right now.”
Kyle chuckled. “Man, you're gonna give yourself an ulcer.”
I didn’t respond. I was too busy watching Harper as she reached for a napkin and started writing something down. My stomach dropped.
What was she doing?
She handed the napkin to the guy, smiling as she did, and I felt the blood drain from my face. Shane’s grip on my shoulder tightened briefly, like he was holding me in place.
At the bar, the guy grinned as he tucked the napkin into his pocket.
My pulse hammered. My thoughts spiraled.
Was she giving him her number?
Did I have any right to care if she was?
Harper walked back to the table, sliding into her seat with an amused look. “What?” she asked, glancing at all of us.
Nina leaned closer, whispering something in her ear. Harper’s eyes widened, and then–she burst out laughing.
“Oh my God, no!” she said, shaking her head. “That’s the guy who keeps coming into the bakery and flirting with Benny. They’ve been dancing around each other for weeks. He finally asked me to give him Benny’s number.”
I exhaled sharply, relief crashing into me so hard I nearly felt dizzy.
Harper caught my eye and gave me a soft smile, like she knew exactly what I’d been thinking. It didn’t make me feel any less ridiculous. I smiled back anyway, grateful she didn’t call me out for it.
The tension at the table was almost unbearable.
Every word felt heavy, weighed down by the unspoken things hanging between me and Harper.
It was like we were two magnets, drawn to each other but kept just far enough apart to make the pull almost painful.
I kept glancing at her, trying to catch her eye.
Every time I did, though, it felt like I was staring at something I couldn’t have.
I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
How was I supposed to be around her like this, knowing how badly I still wanted her?
How much I still cared? The urge to reach out, to sit next to her, to hold her hand or even just brush my fingers against hers was almost too much to bear.
I fought it, but every moment was an internal battle, each second making the tension between us feel even more suffocating.
I could feel her there, just a few feet away, her presence wrapping around me like a weight I couldn’t escape. I wanted to touch her so badly it made my chest ache. But I stayed where I was, pretending to be more composed than I felt, trying not to show her how much I was struggling.
“Alright,” Shane announced, pushing up from the booth. “Let’s get out of here. Karaoke bars calling my name.”
“More like it’s dreading your arrival,” Nina muttered, smirking as she stood.
Kyle laughed as he slid out of the booth, following her. “I’m here for it. Let’s go.”
Harper stood up, adjusting her dress, and for a moment, I just stared. She was so damn beautiful, and the way she moved… it was all I could do not to reach out and grab her, to pull her close and hold her until I couldn’t feel the ache anymore. I didn’t, though. I couldn’t.
She caught my eye for a brief moment. Her expression was unreadable, like she was fighting her own battle too. Then she turned away, reaching for her purse.
Shane and Nina were already ahead, bickering about something ridiculous, their voices fading into the night. Kyle followed close behind, laughing at something Shane had cracked.
I lingered, my feet dragging, my mind racing. My gaze never left Harper, and when she fell into step beside me, it felt like the world was closing in around us.
I couldn’t take it anymore. Without thinking, I reached out, grabbing her hand gently.
Her fingers tensed for just a second, but she didn’t pull away.
I swallowed hard, feeling the heat of her skin against mine, my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to say something, anything to fill the silence, but my throat felt tight, my both stuck.
We both opened our mouths at the same time.
“I–”
“You–”
We both stopped, exchanging a surprised glance before Harper let out a breathy laugh. “You go first.”
I hesitated. “No, you.”
She rolled her eyes, and for the first time all night, something between us felt easy. “I was just going to say that I think Nina might actually kill Shane tonight.”
That pulled a chuckle from me, even as the tension sat heavy in my chest. “Yeah. I give him three songs before she smacks him with the mic.”
“Three songs?” Harper scoffed. “You’re being generous.”
I shook my head, watching the way her lips curved into a small smile. It wasn’t the same as before–it didn’t reach her eyes–but I’d take it.
I glanced over at Kyle ahead of us and then back to her. “So… you met Kyle?”
She nodded. “Yeah. He seems like a great guy.”
“He is,” I said, glancing toward him again. “I think you two will get along.”
Her expression softened. “I think so too.” She hesitated before speaking again. “That program… is that what all those trips were for?”
My steps faltered for half a second before I nodded.
Harper exhaled, processing. “I figured it had something to do with you out there saving the world. I mean, I had no idea what, exactly, but…” She trailed off, shaking her head slightly. “I just wish you would’ve told me.”
I swallowed. “Harper–”
“No, I mean it,” she said, turning to face me fully. “What you’re doing for those kids is incredible. You should have told me. I would have supported you.”
“I know,” I admitted, rubbing a hand over the back of my neck. “If I told you about the program, then I would’ve had to tell you why it started. And I was scared to do that.”
Her expression didn’t change, but something flickered in her eyes. “Because of what happened with Kyle?”
I nodded, my throat tightening.
Silence settled over us as we walked, the easy moment slipping away like sand through my fingers. Harper glanced up at me, and the sight nearly broke me–her eyes were glassy, tears threatening to spill over.
And then, before I could lose my nerve, I spoke. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Harper glanced over, her expression unreadable. “Is it about the job with Kyle?”
I blinked, realization dawning. So, Shane and Kyle had already told her. A dull ache settled in my chest–I should’ve known they wouldn’t keep quiet.
“Yeah,” I admitted, exhaling slowly. “I didn’t want you to find out about me leaving this way. I wanted to be the one to tell you, after everything–”
Her grip on my hand tightened. “I know.”
I froze, my chest tight, my heart hammering in my ears.
She took a deep breath, steadying herself. “I didn’t let you,” she continued, her voice soft. “I know you tried to talk to me about it. I kept avoiding it because… it’s just… it’s hard to be around you.”