Chapter 19 Cornered Dogs （Lena） #2
Not even deliberately.
I’m not sure if he ever knew about the collateral damage he caused, but in the end, it doesn’t matter.
Not when the result was the same.
Not when I can’t stand to let him take another shot and hurt Brady in the process.
But I can’t tell him any of this, because he won’t understand.
Certainly not while he’s standing there, bowed up and manly and determined, a human grizzly bear who’s ready to charge through anything to protect me.
“I can’t stand by while he’s out there, ready to burn you down. You can’t ask me to do nothing.” His jaw tightens, making him look older.
More stubborn than ever.
I can relate.
“But I spelled it out for you,” I say sharply. “I thought you understood. I said this was my battle and not yours.”
“Why should it be? I have resources you don’t, Sass. Hell, if I hadn’t shown up that evening, if I hadn’t grabbed him when he was up in your face—” He stops, swiping a hand over his frustrated face.
Not cool at all where this is going.
I can read between the lines.
You’re helpless. I’m not.
Oh, that bites me, hard enough to draw blood.
The fact that he’s right.
He’s in a position to fight harder than I ever could and protect me in ways I can’t.
But it’s the principle.
It’s the way he rubs his money and power in my face along with my own disgusting weakness.
And it’s the mortal terror coursing through my veins that the past would love to rhyme again.
One bad scrap with Harry Jay, and he’ll never see the punch to the face that’s coming. And Brady has so much more to lose than a cherished summer ice cream stand.
“Whether it’s true or not, it’s my choice. I can deal with this myself, if I need to,” I whisper.
His brows pull down, making his eyes glint like cobalt steel. The barrel of a gun in evening, maybe. Just as dangerous, just as unforgiving.
“Then why don’t you?” he asks quietly.
I stagger back a step.
“Um, excuse me? What do you think I’ve been doing? I won the contract for Pawsome Hearts. He’s toast. He lost, and he’ll have to walk away.” I hate the way my shaky voice echoes in this big room.
No conviction, just anger. Denial.
“And you think he’ll just suck it up and go home? You really believe that?” Brady looks at me with pity. “Shit, he ruined your mother’s business.”
Holy hell.
But maybe I deserve it.
In the beginning, Mom could’ve made more money if she’d kept her temp jobs through summer rather than going back to the ice cream stand.
But Raven Swirl developed a real following before the bitter end. Plus, it made her happy, even when we were nearly broke, and even when Dad’s income disappeared when he died.
Mom realized how short life could be. She decided she wouldn’t let it pass her by without crafting tasty treats guaranteed to make people smile.
Elle, my bestie, was always the one with her head in the clouds. A daydream believer from the minute she had her own fake marriage proposal.
I’ve always been the pragmatist because I had to be.
That’s called survival, and it’s served me pretty well in life.
Everything except—
Harry.
The man who hollowed me out, who left me helpless while my mother lost her final true love after Dad.
“I told you before, it’s not your choice. It’s my business, and I’m the only one who gets to call the shots.” I ball up my hands, feeling my nails biting my palms. “If I stand back and let you swing the sword, where am I? Where’s my fight? I have the most to lose!”
“You’re safe, dammit,” he growls.
“Not really. I’m hiding behind your money and your courage. I’m letting you think you know best.”
Just like every other rich guy in this city who’s used to throwing his weight around.
Those unspoken words bounce around the empty space between us, as reckless as stray bullets.
Brady takes a step back, pushing a hand through his hair.
“Shit, you’ve got this all wrong. I’m not stepping up because I want to control you, Lena.” His eyes are so conflicted. “I’m doing this to protect you. Can’t you see that? You told me what he did, that inhuman fuck. You think I should stand back and let him have open season?”
“My past. My life. My clinic. Mine to defend.”
For a second, we lock eyes, two distant hearts clashing across a chasm.
“Can we put the damn egos aside? Can you let me care?” he rumbles. “He’ll come for blood after I drew his, and so did you, swiping that land out from under him. You’ve won a battle, yeah, but it sure as hell isn’t the war.”
I swallow thickly, hating that he’s right.
He turns away, glancing at Queenie. His eyes are almost as sad as ours, and it hurts my heart.
“Look, I get why you want me out of the way,” he says after a second. “I know you’re passionate, you’re smart, but I just . . .” He trails off.
I just don’t think it’s enough.
“Goddamn, Lena. If anything ever happened to you . . .”
I take a deep, rattling breath.
“I know you mean well.”
“Take a look at the report I sent, Lena. See what he’s been up to and why it’s not as easy as you think. Someone needs to stop him before he keeps abusing this city.”
“And you don’t think I can?”
He doesn’t look at me.
His silence is deafening.
My chest tightens until my lungs stall.
Whatever.
At least we know where we stand, walking a tightrope between feelings we shouldn’t have and no real mutual respect.
“You know what, it’s probably best if I go home tonight,” I say. His ice maker kicks on and hums, the only sound between us. “Alone, I mean.”
“Yeah.” His throat bobs as he nods once. “I’ll give you your space. I appreciate what you did for me today, again.”
“And I would’ve appreciated a little notice if you were going to go all secret agent man on my ex.” I sound so bitter.
There’s no way he would’ve told me. He knows I never would’ve agreed to let him be my shield when I’m in too deep. The only reason Harry isn’t already lining up demolition contractors for Pawsome Hearts is Brady’s money.
Just shoot me.
Right now, I’m not in a forgiving mood. I’m in a ragey, pitiful, hate-you-for-making-me-second-guess mood, even if I know his heart’s in the right place.
Even if I care way too much.
The words eat me alive until I’m hollowed out as he approaches, pulling me into his arms.
“Take all the time you need. Get yourself sorted,” he whispers. “I’ll fucking miss you.”
“I . . . I’ll miss you too.” Yep, I’m stuttering.
My arms instinctively wrap around his back.
It’s not even a lie.
For a second, I feel like hot trash for ever questioning if there’s another woman.
With all the time we’ve spent together, he’d barely have a chance to see anyone else.
And this here—this isn’t for show.
It’s a real, organic, heartfelt fight.
A battle for us.
Still, the fact that he lied about investigating Harry and went behind my back to play superhero stings.
A betrayal is a betrayal.
Worse, maybe, because I never once said we had to stay exclusive for this arrangement. But I did tell him not to fight my battles.
Worse, because I know he still wants me and there’s no one else bleeding his attention. Brady freaking cares enough about me to go feral in the clumsiest territorial way possible.
And that’s what makes this so dangerous. He can’t see the risks.
I couldn’t the first time, and neither did Mom.
Not until she lost everything.
With a quick goodbye head rub for Queenie, I leave the apartment with my head down, speeding down the elevator and through the lobby, where there should be an Uber waiting by now.
Brady would’ve driven me or had Luis do it if I’d said a word, but I’m not making my dependency worse.
Some things a girl has to do herself.
If only to prove she still can, to hold her crumbling self together just a little while longer.
This weepy, uncertain, guilt-ridden girl is not who I am.
I’ve always prided myself on being stronger than iron and sharp as nails. Ready to take my problems head-on, along with everybody else’s, since the day an amoral porn addict ripped my soul in two.
Sworn to never be so weak I let the lightning that ruined Mom and Raven Swirl strike twice.
But what if I’m not as strong as I think?
What if I never really healed and scarred over?
What if Brady’s right, and I need him to swoop in and save me?
And what if Harry Jay isn’t done with me yet?
What if he’s the raging storm I can’t stop, and he’ll destroy everything I love a second time?
True to Brady’s word and my miserable confusion, we don’t see each other for a few days.
I throw myself into work and the new adjustments in my life. After we close up for the day, Dr. Ezzie brings me into business briefings, feeding me one bite of management at a time.
The transition has begun.
Soon, she’ll be handing me the keys. I won’t be alone with Trish and Keith very long once I’ve found a partner.
I flick the sign to Closed and switch off the main lights, heading back to her office, where the sunset spills out in that cloud-filtered gold that makes a Seattle evening.
“Hi, Lena. Come in.” She looks up over a stack of papers on her desk.
“You look like you could use some sleep, Doc.” I frown at the dark circles under her eyes.
“Someday,” she says dryly. I pull out a chair and sit beside her. “Give yourself another twenty years, and you’ll know where it comes from. There’s nothing easy about running a clinic.”
“No, but I’m ready.”
“I hope so.” With a sigh, she gestures to the paperwork heaped on her desk. “There’s been a complication, I’m afraid.”
My heart stops. “What complication?”
“The money-and-rules kind,” she says, looking down. “Fun new city fines.”
“Oh my God, what? Code enforcement again? You haven’t broken any laws, right?”
“Right. Or so I thought.”
I take the envelopes from the city code department in her stack without asking, rifle through the top letters, and start reading. She’s opened them already.
They’re just as petty as I thought.
Inspection inquiries. Pages and pages of them—all going back years, like someone just decided to audit Pawsome Hearts under a microscope and slap us for every loose shoelace.