Chapter 5
FIVE
Christopher
His lips on mine were soft and gentle. But nothing inside of me felt gentle. Instead, I roared to life, my heart a lion, as I grasped his shoulders, pressing my mouth to his.
I’ve never liked a guy. Or a ghost. But I like kissing this one.
I could accept bisexuality or whatever I might be experiencing, but…I’d long ago thought of myself as a barely-sexual person. Now, though, desire was flooding through me like a dam had burst. For the first time, I understood there were two choices: denial or acceptance. The need to accept was overwhelming.
His lips. Oh, God.
We kept kissing, my nerves going crazy as I felt the slip of his tongue. I wanted to know how he tasted.
Groaning deeply, I opened my mouth to him for more. Moisture and heat and just the right amount of pressure were given in return.
In this life, I’d been careful and unable to connect, but his kiss made me believe that my past lives were rich and decadent. Maybe I had been with him before, or his essence . Maybe we’d crossed lifetimes ago. Crossed realms. Maybe this life had been just an echo waiting for him to arrive. To find me.
He moaned softly, and I swore I whimpered in answer.
“I need you,” he said.
Need . It was such a strong word. Nothing polite about it.
Direct and simple.
He crushed his mouth to mine again.
The pleasure nearly brought me to my knees, and it was only a kiss. A fucking brilliant kiss. My breath caught and stuttered, but I wanted his velvety tongue to keep circling mine. I pulled closer to keep the sensations going.
It didn’t matter if we’d met before or if this was the first time. No, what mattered was the way he smelled like honeyed sunshine and fresh air. What mattered were his lips, soft and inviting. And his mouth, giving me shockwaves.
Suddenly we left the ground, lifted into the air.
I didn’t fucking care. Not when the kiss had me shivering and breathless. My senses hummed. I wanted this with every part of me. I cupped the side of his cheek and grazed the slight stubble with my thumb. Our bodies pressed tighter, spinning together. My lips smacked against his, latching on for more of his taste.
Yes, God yes …
I whimpered, clearly this time, and clung.
“Good,” he rasped out, the one word praise. Praise that sent tremors through my body.
We kissed until my lips were swollen and my tongue throbbed, and my whole world grew. I rocked my hips into his.
I buried my fingers in his hair and pulled at the strands. For some reason, I felt him withdraw at that. Just a little. He gentled the kiss and we came to the ground. Our noises quieted. My chest ached, but not as much as my cock.
He gave my lip a swipe of his tongue and drew away.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Don’t say thank you.” I glared, a flush on my cheeks, my thoughts all muddled. I wanted to demand to know why he’d ended the kiss. Or why he’d started it in the first place. Most of all, I wanted to kiss him again.
Ghost smiled. “But I am thankful. You smell good. Your touch feels good.”
I swore. “You’re desperate. That’s all this is for you. I could be anybody.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I believed them. Hurt sunk into me, clawing at every rejection and doubt I’d ever experienced. And there’d been many.
I clenched my fists. “God, I’m stupid.”
He gazed at me, wounded. “You’re not.”
Behind him, other ghosts were gathering, assessing. He wasn’t in the baby stage. Ghost had created an ocean and swung across it, he’d laughed, kissed, lived in this realm. He was ready for them.
That was the etiquette. Ghosts could cross each other’s worlds, but they had to be invited. The ghost realm had more rules than fucking Downton Abbey .
Where did this leave me?
I’d left for this realm a grouchy, straight me and was heading back a still grouchy, more likely bi-sexual me. One who was more sexually frustrated and confused than ever.
“I’m going to my client and my home. You’re staying here.”
“No…” He clawed at the front of my shirt. “Don’t leave! Please.”
I softened my stance. He was so young.
It wasn’t his fault I felt horny and slightly used. I had kissed him back.
“It’ll be okay. I promise. When I return, you won’t want me.”
“You’re wrong. I might be desperate for company, but it’s real.”
I smiled tiredly. “We’ll see.”
After I left him, I could barely finish the séance. Only five minutes or so had passed in this realm. My client was distraught that I had failed to connect to her father. She wanted to try again next week. I didn’t charge her, despite my policy of no guarantees, and agreed. My apartment, when I got there, was empty. I washed up, opened my fridge, and scrounged in it for ingredients to make a meal. When I thought of him and the kiss, blood rushed to my cheeks.
He was frightened to be alone.
But I was frightened of him.
He couldn’t be my boyfriend, being dead and all. Boyfriend? Jesus, I was pathetic.
Ghost had flipped a switch in my brain. I wanted the kisses and more. But in a week or so, after I returned to the spirit world, I might not see him at all, or he might be among the others.
I laughed bitterly. The first time a kiss had really made me come alive—and it was with a ghost.
I closed my eyes, seeing his beautiful face. His mouth. He was the first person I’d felt aching desire for in my whole life. I’d accepted those emotions might never come. Not if Abby, who I loved, couldn’t make me feel them.
But in one meeting, one kiss, he’d opened the world for me. Too bad it wasn’t the same world.
I imagined again that we’d met before—but that didn’t fucking help me. ’Cause if we’d met, I must’ve lost him. What if fate would keep making me lose him in some cruel loop? Better to be alone than find out.
I tried not to think about Ghost. So, of course, all I did was think about him.
I imagined my hands on his skin, my fingers touching the vulnerable column of his neck. My mouth on his generous lips, my body moving into his, our rhythm together, our hearts thudding, breaths mixing. I pictured holding him, gathering him to me, rubbing a knuckle over his smiling lips. Even if it were possible—and it might be, in his realm—wouldn’t it make living here worse, not better?