Chapter 10
TEN
Christopher
He was sorry he’d watched me in my sleep without permission, which I appreciated. It revealed what his essence was. Ghost must have been a good man in his life. He was good and thoughtful here. Never pushing me. Always keeping it light as he touched my body.
But me? I was a possessive bastard. As much as his touch within the ghost realm excited me, part of me wanted to have him in both realms.
I wanted to channel him. Now that I had the idea in my brain, I couldn’t shake it. I wanted him to possess me like that.
“How does it work?” Ghost asked me a few days later. We were sitting on the swings, just dipping our toes in the water.
“If I channel you? I pull your energy from this world into mine, into me.” I swallowed hard. “You can see out of my eyes, breathe through my nose and all.”
“Eat?” His eyes lit. “I want chocolate, to remember how it tastes. And fresh fruit…did I mention chocolate?”
“Fine, but I’m in control. Not you. I’m lending you my body, but I’m there every step. If I want to stop, I close my mouth. I can send you right back to this realm.”
“Oh, for God’s sake. You’re being a downer. Now I really need to eat chocolate.” He gave a dramatic sigh.
My lips twitched. “Sorry, I don’t plan to stop your fun. But we’re both inside my body, just wanted you to get that part. I don’t disappear or anything.”
“That must be difficult for you. There, but having others with you. It sounds…invasive.” He frowned, a little furrow between his brows. “Are you okay to do this?”
“I’m good. I can handle it.”
Truthfully, I’d never channeled a ghost that I was attracted to. He wasn’t going to taste a candy bar and go.
“So, I can suggest things, like opening your mouth, but you have to consent.”
“Right.”
“And I can use your body.” He cocked his head, smiling. “And we both feel it?”
“You got it.”
Our gazes clashed and held.
“Let’s do it.”
The next day, I set the table with chopped berries and pineapple. I heated a chocolate fondue, and put out an assortment of cookies and bread. I had a good dessert wine that I liked and, since we’d not discussed alcohol, some juices. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans, trying to slow my nerves. I needed to meditate to bring him to my realm. Being anxious that he liked my food, wine…me—none of that helped.
So, I played soft music that I favored, a little Taylor Swift, and I began deep breathing. Like an athlete who trained, my body was conditioned for this, and it didn’t take long for me to reach a plane of transformation. I focused on Ghost, his energy, until it was here, zinging through me.
A jolt, stronger than I’d felt with others, zipped through my insides, crackling through my skin. He pulsed through me, and made my hand give a wave hello.
It was invasive; Ghost was right about that. I usually channeled, let the spirit talk through me to a loved one, and pushed them away.
But his energy was different. It melted into mine. My senses were alive, ready. No more loneliness. That was how it felt, like this was meant to be, like this mattered.
I could entrust my body to him.
I pulled the fruit basket and fondue closer. He licked my lower lip, running my tongue over it. I dipped a strawberry into the gooey chocolate and brought it to my mouth.
“Oh!” We groaned—my voice—his pleasure.
The berry was juicy, the chocolate still warm.
“More,” my voice pleaded—his words begged.
I sipped some wine, ate chunks of French bread with butter.
He rested a hand on my belly. I knew he was feeling full for the first time since his death.
We took them for granted, those basic needs. What was better than a full belly or a well-rested body?
Well, I could think of one thing. Sexual satisfaction had always eluded me before, and Ghost brought new and exciting feelings for me. Not an hour went by that he wasn’t on my mind. And now he was inside of me, nurtured by my body. It was a fucking thrill to give him what he needed. But could he give it to me in return? I’d tried with my wife, and I’d liked seeing her pleasure, but most times the tiny rush of release left me empty, lonely.
Disconnected.
I pushed my chair out. He grabbed a Dove chocolate.
As I headed to the bedroom, I ate the candy. Or rather, Ghost ate it through me. My tongue coated with it. Ghost swirled the candy around, pressing it to the roof of my mouth by commanding my tongue. He smacked my lips a few times as the chocolate dissolved.
I paused before flicking on my bedroom light.
Thank God for Amazon . Sex toys I’d been too embarrassed to buy in person were neatly lined up on my nightstand. I’d never tried them, not with Abby or even alone. I’d wondered if they’d help me, but I’d always stopped short of experimenting.
Now Ghost easily guided my hand to the dildo, stroking the length of it. It was purple and ridged at the tip. About eight inches long.
“Have you ever?—”
“No.” My shoulders tensed. Heat flushed to my cheeks. “But if you take over and guide my hand, I can do it.”
“Lube?”
“Yeah.” I popped off the cap. My fingers trembled. I felt dizzy with the idea of everything I was about to have. Finally. “It’s a warming one.”
Was it weird talking out loud to myself and…myself? Not really. He was with me. It might be my voice speaking, but the thoughts were coming from us both.
“I want you to take control,” I whispered, stripping off my clothes in a hurry.
Naked, I lay on the bed. Ghost had me drizzle the lube into my palm.
“Ready.” My voice went hoarse. My fingers were sticky and warm with the lube.
“Okay, I’m here. Relax. It’s all good. I can always stop.”
I nodded, knowing already that I wouldn’t stop him from controlling my body. I was feeling more excited than I ever had in my life. I hadn’t ever felt this giant urge, hot and needy before. Part of me might want to question it all, but the bigger part of me had waited far too long. And life was uncertain. Being with ghosts had taught me that much, and so had foster care, a failed marriage, and more. Life had taught me, the way it taught us all, that nobody had guarantees.
A gentle touch on my belly broke through my thoughts.
“Hey,” Ghost stroked me. “Where are you? Focus on me, on us.”
“I will.”
His touch remained gentle as it went lower. His touch—my touch—but, wow…it didn’t feel like me.
This was nothing like jerking myself off all alone. I wanted this. So fucking much. My hand didn’t pause, moving lower. Confident. Not like me.
Like him.
The silence was only punctuated by our mutual low moan. Ghost was with me. Feeling through me.
Oh, please.
I inhaled sharply. My hand glided to my cock, stroking over the tip. I pressed my eyelids shut, a low whimper escaped my throat.
I’d never imagined feeling this way. Like I craved love, but I wasn’t afraid to need it. Not like before. I welcomed being vulnerable for once. It was exhausting, always being the big tough guy, the loner who didn’t need affection. I wanted to have mind-blowing sex, a strong hand on me (even if it was mine), but also I wanted to feel taken care of at the same time.
With a shaky smile, I began to work my cock, pressing a thumb into the slit, and I thrust against my hand, the ridges of my dick so fucking sensitive I wanted to scream. Those only increased as I glided over my skin to my ball sac, gasping as Ghost took control there.
He made me shudder with each tug. As I writhed, I felt Ghost inside of me, a thrumming energy. He tightened my hold on my dick, jerked me off, demanding every ounce of cum wrung from me. Making needy noises, I surrendered. Shots of cum hit my stomach and chest, and still my hand (his hand) milked my cock for more. I shouted as a final burst of cum released.
Trembling, my instinct was to drift to sleep, but Ghost refused to allow it. He pinched my inner thigh. Slicked my (our) fingers in the cum.
“I want to play with this,” he mused, sliding the cum along my rib cage, painting me with it.
“Open,” he whispered. “Taste.”
I obeyed, and sucked on the cum-stained fingers.
We writhed as I sucked our fingers deeper into my throat.
I smacked our lips at the glossy bits of cum still clinging to my mouth. The salty-bitter essence of myself was new, but I loved it.
Ghost pulled our fingers away, and my heart skipped a beat. We were going beyond anything we’d done in the ghost realm.
Our fingers brushed past our emptied balls.
“My God!” We gasped, but it was mostly me. Ghost was unafraid as a brazen finger circled our rim. Our heart beat wildly. Ghost made our body come alive in ways I’d never known. White-hot desire surged in me as the finger pressed inside. Our thighs spread shamelessly, and I eagerly parted them.
Our dick hardened, craving this, and we made a low noise.
“More.” Ghost gritted our teeth.
Our finger pushed farther inside.
There were no words for how much I wanted this feeling. To get lost in this body that I shared with Ghost. Fuck, yeah. I would take it. ’Cause this was…everything. He was destined to touch me.
Our ass flexed, clamping around the finger. We moaned, so hard. Our dick leaking.
“Relax,” Ghost said. “I’ll make it good.”
As if this wasn’t already amazing? One finger alone and I was wrecked. But I nodded our head, making our ass open for a firmer touch. Our body trembled as the finger worked to crook upward.
Ghost made me aware of what my body had always needed.
“Fuck,” I whispered hoarsely.
Waves of pleasure, like none I’d ever known, moved through me. Then two fingers slipped past my entrance. The scissoring motion had me keening.
Crying, begging, I felt a rush of heat. It was Ghost.
His pleasure alongside mine was as clear as day. Our fingers brushed over what could only be our prostate, and our dick wept with cum at the tip. I pushed our ass against our fingers. Never had I gotten so close to coming after an earlier orgasm. But never had I had somebody with me, touching me as I’d always craved.
How did Ghost know my body better than I did? I wanted to climax in a hot jolt. I wanted to bite him, mark him, somehow. Rub our cum all over us. Rub it on our stomach, nipples, mouth.
Would Ghost want that, too? And if I coated our body with cum, would that make him mine?
Our body throbbed, but I refused to erupt, not yet. Not when our fingers were…exactly…right.
“Fuck, don’t stop. Make me take it,” I panted.
A third finger joined, making me feel so fucking stretched . Our ass was on fire, but the burn was so good. And our cock lengthened and dripped.
A cry escaped our lips, but it felt like his cry. I was nearly there, edging on another release, almost?—
Then Ghost pulled our fingers out. “I want to fuck you.”
The voice was familiar, gravelly, but the words…Ghost’s suggestion—oh God, it shocked me.
“What?” I stuttered.
“Get the dildo.”