Chapter 42
forty-two
. . .
Violet
Rowan insisted on taking care of me in the shower again…in more ways than one.
I don’t know who I thought I was fooling when I said we needed space. We’ve wasted so much time over so many years, I really don’t want to give any of it up anymore.
I’m just getting ready to drift off and get, without a doubt, what will probably be the best sleep I’ve had in weeks when Rowan whispers, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I lift my head off his chest and look up at him. “Um, well, are you asking about work? Life? Home?”
“All of it.”
“Okay…” I shift to lay my head back down.
“I guess we haven’t really had the future talk, have we?
I don’t think I see myself leaving the animal clinic.
I love it there. But…five years from now?
I hope I’m married. I hope I have at least one child, if not multiple.
I’d love to live somewhere just like this, maybe take in some more rehabilitated animals.
Honestly, all of that sounds like a dream. ”
His hands trail up and down my arm as he hums in thought. I’ve been so caught up in these past few months with the fact that he was back, that I didn’t really think about what happens next.
What if he has no interest in marriage or kids? This is absolutely a conversation we should have had well before now, especially prior to moving in.
“What about you?” I finally ask.
Rowan’s quiet for so long, I start to regret asking.
My heart starts that thudding thing, thumping out worst case scenarios in time with each second he doesn’t answer.
I can’t even look up at him—my gaze fixed on the wall as if it holds the answer to whether or not I’ve screwed this whole thing up by dreaming too much.
Then, finally, he speaks.
“I see a little girl,” he says quietly, his cheek resting on the top of my head. “She’s got your eyes—those big, curious ones that take everything in, even the stuff you think no one notices. And your laugh. God, I hope she has your laugh.”
My breath catches. I still don’t look at him. I don’t think I can without completely losing it.
“She’s running barefoot through the yard, chasing another dog we said we wouldn’t adopt but did anyway
. You’re on the porch, yelling something about her shoes, but you’re not really mad.”
He pauses, then his lips press to my forehead. “I see a house that always smells like coffee and sawdust. Maybe some muddy paw prints and toys we never remember to put away.”
My throat is so tight I couldn’t speak if I wanted to.
“I see you,” he murmurs, “looking at me the way you did tonight. Like I’m someone worth loving. I’m just trying every damn day to make sure I never lose that look.”
I turn to him, because I have to, because I need to see the face of the man who says things like this, who sees things like this.
“Rowan…”
He gives a sheepish half smile, one shoulder rising slightly. “Too much?”
“No,” I whisper, “not even close.”
I kiss him then, slow and deep. This man. This wonderful, wild, tender, wrecked man.
“I want all of that,” I whisper against his lips. “With you.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nod, my heart so full it aches.
His fingers trace patterns on my skin as a mischievous glint appears in his eyes. He shifts to hover above me, his lips brushing against my ear.
“Just so you know…” His voice drops to that rough velvety tone that makes my stomach flip. “Practicing for those babies is definitely my favorite cardio workout.”
I burst out laughing, shoving at his shoulder. “Did you seriously just turn our beautiful future conversation into a sex joke?”
“What?” He grins, unrepentant. “I’m just saying, if we’re gonna make those green-eyed babies, we should probably put in the work. You know, for science.”
“For science,” I repeat, unable to keep the smile from my face despite my eye roll.
“Exactly.” He nods solemnly, though his eyes dance with amusement. “And based on tonight’s results, I’d say we’re off to an excellent start, but further research is definitely required.”
I shake my head, laughing and groaning at the same time. “You’re such a menace.”
He grinds his hips against mine, the evidence of his arousal pressing against my stomach. “A lovable menace with excellent stamina.”
“Oh my god,” I mumble. “Men. I swear. Utterly ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously in love with you,” he says, and this time, there’s no teasing.
My heart does that inconvenient, beautiful thing…
It soars.