Chapter Twenty
Truett
“W ow, you’re here bright and early,” Gwen said as she opened the door.
I chuckled awkwardly, keeping to myself that I’d been up since five because we hadn’t established a time to meet. I’d been so hyped about seeing her again this was actually my third trip to the restaurant that morning, waiting for her to arrive.
Fuck. Me. Two days without seeing her had been torture.
If breaking my routine and branching out of the house on days other than Wednesday had me off-kilter, that kiss had sent me into orbit. On Friday, I’d been shit at work, unable to focus knowing she was just down the street. I couldn’t see the restaurant from my house, but like a sap, I ate lunch on my front porch that day, hoping that the rows of homes dividing us would heed to my desperation and magically disappear so I could catch one single glimpse of her.
I ached to see her again. One taste hadn’t been enough. Though, there was no such thing as enough with Gwen.
I’d put my shoes on no fewer than a dozen times on Friday afternoon. Once, I even made it to the end of the driveway before convincing myself not to go.
She’d wanted that kiss just as much as I had, and the passion that had sparked between us when our lips touched could have set the world on fire. But her hesitance when she’d backed away was the only thing that had kept me from going to her. She needed time.
To think.
To remember.
To come to terms with the fact that something profound still existed between us.
Time was no match for a love like ours—even if tragedy had been a hurdle I’d failed to overcome.
“And good morning to you too,” I replied, fighting the urge to drag her into a hug.
She was gorgeous standing there in a pair of tight pink athletic shorts and a black tank top that hugged the swell of her breasts. Her hair was down, hanging just below her shoulders, and she’d changed her nose ring from a flat silver stud to a tiny pink gem that somehow unlocked the sacred middle ground between sexy and cute. I hadn’t been a fan of her piercing at first, but I had to admit it had grown on me.
Music played softly as she closed the door, locking it behind me. However, the second that lock clicked, an awkwardness blanketed the room.
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked down and found her fidgeting with her shorts.
Fuck. She was nervous.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. I, uh, just didn’t expect you to be here so early.” Her voice was flat as her eyes scanned the room, landing on everything but me.
Double fuck.
“We’ve got a lot of work to do. No time like the present.” Or the four hours I’d been stalking you before that .
She finally tilted her head back to peer up at me, an emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on clouding her eyes. “Yeah. It’s gonna be a long day. You sure you’re up for this?”
“I’ve never been more ready for something in my life.” When I’d formulated the thought, I’d meant it in relation to getting my hands dirty and whipping that restaurant into shape. But the moment the words came out of my mouth, the double meaning was not lost on me.
She winced and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.
Triple fuck.
Okay, so maybe that kiss hadn’t gone as well for her as it had for me.
“Can you help me move some boxes in the kitchen?” she asked, walking away.
“Sure.” I followed after her, hoping like hell I was reading her wrong. I came to an abrupt stop as soon as I walked through the swinging door. “Wow,” I breathed.
She must have had a big delivery since I’d been gone, because it had only remotely resembled a kitchen when I’d left on Thursday. Now, brand-new stainless-steel appliances gleamed under the bright overhead lights. A massive commercial range dominated one wall, its burners and oven doors untouched, still covered in a plastic film. The prep station, expansive and orderly, stood in the center like the heart of the kitchen. All that was missing was the hustle and bustle of culinary excellence.
“This is incredible.”
Whatever was going on with her at the moment couldn’t mask her pride. “Right?”
The song playing through the Bluetooth speaker ended, fading into another slow, melancholy melody—each note dripping with sorrow and regret. The atmosphere in the room grew heavier as the somber tune filled the air. It was a far cry from her normal chaotic compilations ranging from of Outkast to *NSYNC.
“What’s going on with your playlist today? I feel like we should be at a funeral, not prepping for world restaurant domination.”
It was a joke.
Something I’d hoped would lighten the mood and engage her in a bit of friendly banter.
I had never—in my entire life—been more wrong.
A sharp burst of laughter erupted from her lips, but her face held no humor. “And how the hell would you know anything about funerals, Truett?”
My chin jerked to the side—and not just because of her sudden outburst. Her tone was downright scathing.
I lifted my hands in surrender, belatedly realizing the nerve I’d struck. “I’m sorry, I—”
“For fuck’s sake, can you say anything besides I’m sorry?”
I clamped my mouth shut, confusion crinkling my forehead. “Gwen, baby, I—”
Her eyes flashed wide. “Don’t do that. Don’t baby me with your sexy voodoo hypnotism shit.”
I swallowed hard, desperately trying to follow the bouncing ball of her emotions and failing in spectacular fashion. Drawing in a deep breath, I made sure to keep the frustration out of my tone as I pleaded, “Look, can we just take a second to breathe? Maybe talk this out? I genuinely don’t understand what’s happening right now.”
She threw her hands up in the air, slapping them against her thighs as she brought them down. “Me either. That’s always been our problem. I don’t understand anything. You kept me in the dark for so long, and now you’re back, kissing me, making me question my entire life. How am I supposed to process that when I still don’t even know why you left me?”
Infinity fuck.
I blinked at her, the boulder of guilt I carried with me at all times becoming so heavy it crushed my chest. She deserved answers, the truth, and most of all, closure. It was something I knew she’d been waiting for, so her question might have come out of left field, but it was no surprise.
Still, I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t find the words to string together that would explain the why’s of the past. Probably because there was no real explanation. At least, none that made sense to a sane person.
“I don’t know,” I said, like a coward.
“Then how the hell am I supposed to know?” she shot back, her body shaking with anger. “The past happened, Truett. No kiss in the entire fucking world will fix that. And now, I’m just expected to, what? Get over it? Jump back into your arms? Welcome you back into my life?”
I stared at her, my silence enraging her all over again.
“You know what. This was a bad idea. You should go.” She turned on a toe, marching through the dining room, straight toward her office.
I stood there like an idiot, watching her go. It was the day she’d left me all over again. That day in my house, when she’d dropped her rings on the floor and I’d let her leave without one single ounce of explanation. My legs hadn’t moved that day. My mouth failing to fight. My mind telling me lies.
I’d be damned if I made that mistake again.
With long strides, I followed after her. That damn office was the size of a shoebox, only big enough for a few filing cabinets, a desk, and a rolling chair. But as I stepped inside, it felt infinitely smaller as the distance between us, measured in mere inches, charged the air.
“I’m sorry,” I told her back.
She whipped around, ready to tear into me for offering yet another hollow apology, but I looped an arm around her hips and tugged her off-balance. She collided with my front, her hands landing on my chest, anger still blazing in her eyes.
I didn’t let her get a word out before finishing with, “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you back then. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the man you needed me to be. I’m sorry I gave up on our family. And I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder, because I have missed you every fucking day since you walked out of my life. That is what I mean when I say I’m sorry.”
She clamped her mouth shut, her gaze darting around my face as she tried to process what I was saying. I’d only had her back—if you could call it that—for a few weeks, but the fear of losing her again gnawed at me relentlessly. It was finally enough to break through the deepest recesses of my mind, where I kept the truth locked away, shackled and imprisoned to prevent it from stripping me bare.
“I didn’t hurt as much when I was with you,” I confessed. My voice was barely above a rasp, yet it was all I could manage. Saying the words aloud, to her , was as painful as it was a welcome relief.
Her eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Back then… I hated myself. I didn’t deserve to feel better. But when I’m with you, even now, I can breathe. I don’t know what it is, but something about you has always softened the agony, making it so I don’t feel like I’m suffocating.”
She blinked, pursing her lips. Her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “Let me make sure I’ve got this right. I made you feel better , so you thought the best thing to do was divorce me ? ”
I knew how it sounded. The age-old copout—“It’s not you, it’s me”—given to placate a breaking heart. But it was the God’s honest truth.
“After the mall—”
“No!” she snapped, slapping a hand over my mouth. “Don’t you dare try to use that as an excuse. You were gone long before the mall.”
Her chest heaved and her face was full of rage.
But.
She.
Didn’t.
Back away.
That had to mean something. She could hate me all she wanted—it was a sentiment we shared. But she was still with me, though I feared my time was running out.
I gathered her tighter in my arms, shifting her so our bodies were flush head to toe. “I felt like I was a fraud taking comfort from you. Your brother had just died, something I’d caused.”
“You didn’t cause it,” she argued. “Stop acting like you drove that car into the building. Nate knew what he was signing up for. He was proud to put on that uniform. He was proud to serve beside you .”
I shook my head. “I missed the cell phone, Gwen. They’d been watching us for days, and I missed it.”
“And he missed it too,” she seethed. “They all missed it, Truett. You weren’t standing in that building alone.”
“I know… I mean, I know it now. I was the only one who survived. There was no one else to blame.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You think they would have blamed you…for surviving? They loved you too, you know. Especially Nathanial.”
I swallowed hard. “I know that too. It’s taken a lot of time, and I think I’ll always feel responsible, but it’s manageable now.”
“Yeah, well, it could have been manageable without you kicking me to the curb for”—she lifted her hand in a pair of air quotes—“making you feel better.”
“You needed to grieve, not take care of me.”
“What I needed was my husband,” she fired back.
“I know, but I couldn’t be that man for you. I died over there, Gwen. Not physically, but part of me never came back. And then when I got home…it didn’t feel so unbearable with you. And that was not something I was ready for. I felt like a monster, and you coddled me like a child. All your hugs and kisses and reassurances.”
Tears filled her eyes, anger being replaced by rejection. “Then why didn’t you tell me that? I would have stopped.”
“Because you weren’t doing anything wrong. Please hear me when I say this. You were the most incredible wife any man could have asked for. Strong and steadfast. Patient and understanding. You did everything right. But I wasn’t ready for that. Up until a few weeks ago, I still didn’t think I was ready.” I dipped forward, brushing my nose with hers. “But then you came to me after Folly showed up. I acted like a horse’s ass that day, but you kept the booth. For me. ”
Her breath hitched, and her tongue snaked out to dampen her lips. “I could tell it was important to you.”
“It is. Do you remember that big winter storm, when I drove up to make sure the old generator was working because I was scared the power was going to go out and you guys would freeze to death while I was hundreds of miles away?”
She silently nodded.
“I promised the boys burgers, but the power was out, so they served us club sandwiches instead.” The memory pinched my chest, but she was too close for it to cause any real pain.
Understanding hit her face, and she fisted the front of my shirt. “Oh, God. You sat there with them?”
“I’ve been coming here for years and sitting in that booth to torture myself. One hour. I’d allow the memories to shred me. I’d see their faces. Hear their voices.” I leaned away to catch her eye before finishing. “ All of them.”
Her lids fluttered shut in a pained understanding. “Truett, that’s just torture.”
“That’s exactly why I did it. I needed to hurt.” The confession burned my throat. “But then you showed up and I can’t do it anymore. I come here. I sit down. I try to let the past devour me. And then I look at you and everything just…gets quiet. I was completely freaked out at first. Pissed that you’d stolen something so rightfully mine. But if I’m being honest, when we’re together, the only penance I ever want to pay is to you. So yeah, Gwen. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I stood there, staring into her eyes, knowing I’d only given her half of the story when it came to that booth, but I wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready for the rest. I wished like hell I could forget it on a damn near daily basis.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. “This is crazy, Truett. I spent eighteen fucking years without you. And you’re telling me I lost the love of my life over a miscommunication?”
“No. I lost the love of my life over a miscommunication. You lost me the day you kissed me goodbye in front of the barracks. I wasn’t the same man who came home, and then everything just got so much fucking worse.” I laughed without humor. “This may come as a surprise, but I’m still not okay. I don’t know that okay even exists for me anymore. In the name of transparency, you need to know that I’m convinced I’m cursed. Everybody I love dies. And yes, deep down, I know it’s not real, but I’m still terrified to have you back in my life. But I have no idea how to let you go again, either.”
Conflict danced across her face, her long lashes fluttering as she stared at me, incredulous. “And there it is.”
“What?”
“You’re already planning to let me go again.”
I shook my head adamantly. “No, I’m not.”
She shoved at my chest. “Yes, you are. You just said you have no idea how to let me go again. Why is that always a fucking option for you?”
I held her tight, unwilling to release her and prove her right. “It’s not. I never wanted to leave you.”
“But you did!” she roared, the pain in her voice searing through me. “You shut me out, Truett. I could have helped you. Dammit, I wanted to help you.”
“No one could help me. I would have just dragged you down with me. I wasn’t going to force you into a lifetime of misery right alongside me.”
“But you did,” she repeated. “You wrecked me. I didn’t think I would ever recover. I spent years asking myself what I could have done differently. Wondering if you ever even cared about me. I was trapped in a purgatory where life moved forward yet stood still.”
I flexed the arm that was still wrapped tightly around her waist and dropped my face so that our eyes met. “Well, that’s where we differ. My life never moved forward from you. Not a single day has passed that you haven’t been on my mind. I’ve spent countless hours replaying the sound of your laughter, remembering the weight of your head on my shoulder, the way your eyes would light up when you talked about a funny story you heard at work. Every morning has been nothing short of agony when I wake up without you curled into my side. The nights are sometimes worse as I collapsed into our bed, wanting nothing more than to steal a kiss in the dark and hear your whispered declarations of love before we drifted off to sleep tangled in each other’s arms.”
Our faces were inches apart, her breaths short and ragged, matching my own.
“Truett,” she said in a pained whisper.
She was going to either kick me out or kiss me. I couldn’t tell which, but I wasn’t leaving until I could make her understand.
Slowly, as if I could spook her at any minute, I dipped low, and brushed my lips over hers.
She tipped her chin, trying to catch my mouth, but I kept my lips a fraction out of her reach. “I deserve every bit of hate and anger and resentment you feel for me. But make no mistake, I have never, not ever, not for one fucking second of my entire god-forsaken life, stopped loving you.”
Her body stiffened against me, but before I had the chance to overthink it, her mouth collided with mine in a frenzy of need. Her tongue warred with mine in a duel of longing and desperation.
“Please, Truett.” She tugged at the hem of my shirt. Those words had once haunted me, but now they ignited my system with feral desire.
With a growl, I cupped her ass, the firm swells filling my palms as I lifted her off her feet. Without hesitance, her legs wrapped around my waist and I feared my cock would break free of my zipper when her core hit me.
Our tongues continued their battle, her hands in my hair, frantic to find an angle that would give her more of my mouth—more of me.
More of us.
I carried her the short distance to her desk. Paperwork littered the surface and with the slice of my hand, I blindly swept it to the floor before setting her down on the edge.
My hands roamed down her sides, exploring her unfamiliar curves. There had been a time when I’d known her body better than my own. It pained me to think of what I’d missed, the subtle changes throughout the years, but I was all too eager for the journey of rediscovery.
“Yes,” she hissed into my mouth as I glided my thumb over her nipple, entirely too much fabric dividing us.
We broke our frenzied kiss, peeling each other’s shirt off. I didn’t bother unhooking her bra, and just stripped it over her head. It followed our shirts to the floor.
And then I froze.
Just.
Stopped.
My hands were buzzing at my sides as I drank her in. Dear God, how was she even more stunning than I remembered. From her peaked nipples to the curve of her breasts, she was fucking perfect.
It was Gwen.
It was my Gwen. What the hell did I expect?
Our labored breaths filled the silence of the otherwise quiet room.
“True,” she whispered, catching my attention, reminding me that I was standing there ogling her body like a teenage boy seeing a naked woman for the first time. And quite honestly, she wasn’t all that wrong.
When my gaze flicked up to hers, a gentle smile played on her lips. “Come back to me.”
Those four words hit me like a surge of electricity, jolting my deadened heart back into rhythm.
I wasn’t too delusional to recognize that she was simply asking for me to escape my thoughts and rejoin her in a blaze of fiery passion.
And I would do that, no question about it.
But what she couldn’t possibly know was that those four words would forever mark the beginning of my quest to reclaim my life—starting with her.
Come back to me.
Come back to me.
Come back to me.
I had never wanted anything more.
Palming the back of her head, I pulled her mouth to mine with a white-hot urgency.
Her nails raked down my back as I moved my assault to her neck, nipping and sucking my way down to her chest. I found her nipple, flicking it with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. Her gasps and moans guided me lower, until I reached the waistband of her shorts.
“Gwen,” I said more in warning than asking permission.
Her only answer was to open her legs, spreading them wide.
I traced my finger over the fabric covering her core. Her lids fell shut as she leaned back, propping herself up with her arms.
“Look at me,” I ordered.
Her brown eyes that had owned me since I was seventeen years old fluttered open.
“I’m gonna make love to you so you can never forget how much you mean to me,” I stated the absolute fact it was.
Her chest rose with a deep inhale.
I hooked my finger into the leg of her shorts, pulling them aside. My finger brushing up to find her clit.
“Oh, God,” she breathed, her head falling back.
I snapped with my free hand, demanding her attention. “I’m not done yet. Eyes on me.”
Her wanton gaze slid back to mine.
“Then, I’m going to make you come so hard, you will question whether you’ve ever had an orgasm without me.”
Her mouth fell open, her shock morphing into visceral desire as I slowly pressed one finger inside her.
“And then I’m going to fuck you until the only thing you know for sure is that you are, and have always been, mine .”
Her eyes flashed wide, and I leaned forward pressing my lips to hers before I mumbled, “Where would you like me to start?”
“Truett,” she breathed, her fingernails biting into my back.
“I gotta hear you say it, Gwen. I need to know you’re with me.”
Her eyes got dark, heat pinking her cheeks. Her words were so quiet they were barely audible.
But I heard them.
Oh, God, did I hear them.
It was a command and plea all at once. “Fuck me, Truett.”
I responded with a growl, claiming her lips. One swift movement, I withdrew my finger from inside her and tugged off her shorts. Her shoes met the same fate as her shirt and bra, haphazardly tossed in a pile at our feet.
With frenzied hands, she made quick work of unbuttoning my jeans as I toed out of my shoes. She shoved down my pants, taking my boxer briefs with them, freeing my cock.
“Jesus,” she whispered, wrapping her palm around my length.
I sucked in a sharp inhale through my teeth, my central nervous system firing a tsunami of shock waves that damn near took out my knees.
I needed to be inside her. To claim her. To make her understand, that while I’d ruined us, she had always owned me. I hadn’t forgotten her. I hadn’t forgotten us.
Fully naked, I lifted her onto the desk again. She clawed at my back, while kissing me with such an urgency it was almost violent.
I trailed my fingers up her heat, finding her wet and ready, and then drove into her with a quickness that leveled us both.
“Oh, God,” she moaned, hooking her arms around my neck.
We moved together, the age-old choreography of desire. Her body responded to my every thrust, pulling me deeper into the abyss of our shared greed. It was a chaotic reunion of souls—a solace of ecstasy.
She was mine, even for just those minutes. Gwen was mine again. Pressure mounted inside me. Reality finally on my side. I dropped my hand between us, circling her clit with my thumb, as I continued to pump into her.
“Truett,” she cried out, her heat tightening around me.
She was so fucking close.
Her breasts swayed as I worked her hard and fast like a reckless savage. Feral need overshadowed any sense of restraint or control.
I dipped my head and spoke into her panting mouth. “That’s it, baby, give it to me. Let me feel you come on my cock.”
“True,” she breathed, my name falling from her lips like a prayer.
I wasn’t going to last much longer. I’d been too long without her. Too starved for the kind of release only she could give me.
I changed my rhythm to deep calculated thrusts, my thumb never slowing at her clit. My jaw clenched painfully as I surged inside her, planting myself at the hilt.
She jerked and then her orgasm ripped through us both. She pulsed around me, coaxing my own release. I came on a strangled groan, feeling as though something inside me was tearing free from my soul. The room spun as I rode out the aftershocks, Gwen clinging to my shoulders, our hearts pounding in unison.
“Fuck,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head.
Her body relaxed and she melted against my chest. What I wouldn’t have given to have a bed to collapse down on beside her, holding her tight until we caught our breath. I was far from done, but her office had some serious limitations in the lovemaking department.
“God, I missed that,” she confessed without looking up at me.
A satisfied smirk stretched my mouth. “Me too.”
“But I’m scared.”
I turned to stone, concern flooding my system. “Hey,” I cooed, tipping her head back so I could get a better read on her face. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head. Her eyes were glassy, still clouded by her desire, but her eyebrows were drawn together. “That was…incredible, Truett. Something I’d dreamed about for years. But, if I’m being honest, I don’t know where we go from here. I don’t know how to let you back in.”
I smoothed a hand up and down her back. “It’s okay. It’s a lot to process.”
“A lot is an understatement.” Her breathing shuddered as though she might cry, but the tears never formed in her eyes. “And now that we’ve had sex, I’m scared I’m jumping into something I’m not ready for.”
“Gwen, baby, I’m not asking you to jump into anything. I hope what I said to you earlier and then what we just did shed some light on the way I feel about you and why things ended the way they did. But I don’t expect the past to melt away because of it. I did this to us. I take full responsibility. You have every right to tell me to fuck off. I wouldn’t even blame you. But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in my life. I just need you to give me that chance.”
“But what if I can’t?”
“Then you can’t. It will crush me, but that’s not on you. We have a history, and the majority of it played out like a tragedy. You have every right to be scared. I’m scared too. If you don’t have it in you to give me a chance to be your man again, then maybe we could be friends. Or, hell, I’ll be your handyman until I’m eight hundred years old if that’s all I can get.”
She laughed, and it was sad, but there was a modicum of relief in her eyes.
I kissed her forehead. “Some things happen for a reason, Gwen. Some things happen for no reason. And then some things just never happen at all. I haven’t always been there for you, but I can’t stop hoping that maybe there’s a reason you bought this specific restaurant and waltzed back into my life. And maybe, if I’m lucky, that reason is us.”
She swallowed hard. “When did you get so wise?”
I chuckled. “Therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you’ll think about. That’s all I ask.”
She drew in a deep breath, her breasts rising with her chest. It made me a jerk, but at the sight, my cock stirred back to life.
“I’ll think about it,” she replied, her gaze flicking down between us. “But I probably shouldn’t think about it while you’re naked in my office.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Any chance it will sway things in my favor?”
She slanted her head. “I’m terrified to find out.”
I chuckled. “Okay, then. You still want me to help out around here today?”
Indecision warred on her face. “Can I maybe just have some space for a while?”
“Of course,” I replied before kissing her forehead again. “You know where to find me.”
We got dressed in silence, bumping into each other as we pulled our clothes on. I hated to leave her like that. It felt too much like a quick fuck rather than the full-body worship she deserved. But if she was willing to think about the possibility of letting me be a part of her life again, the least I could do was give her the space to do it. After all, she’d given me eighteen years to get my head straight.
She walked me to the door, and I didn’t wait for permission before dragging her into a hug. She curled in close as if she were trying to absorb one last moment of comfort.
“I love you,” I told the top of her hair before pressing a kiss to her crown.
She didn’t say it back. She didn’t have to. I’d destroyed the bridge that had joined our lives together, but love would forever exist between us, even in the emptiness of the divide.
It should have been harder to leave her, knowing it could be for the very last time if she couldn’t find it in her heart to give me another chance.
But for the first time in over eighteen years, there was hope that I could get her back—and then never have to let her go again.
“Hey, True,” she called just before I crossed the street. “Just so you know, I would have sat in that house with you for the rest of my life, completely alone, just to be with you .”
I dipped my head and rested my hand over my heart. As much as I appreciated the sentiment, I hadn’t wanted that life for her. I still didn’t want that life for her.
But if wanted her to be in my life, that was all I had to offer.
I walked home with my mind spinning. Flashes of me driving inside her colliding with memories of her anger, frustration, and lastly her fears.
I’d asked her to give me a chance, but she had no idea the mess she’d be walking into.
As I stopped in front of my house, dread filled my stomach.
I didn’t want to go inside. That front door was nothing more than a portal to the past, and for once, I didn’t want to escape the present. My safe little existence locked inside those four walls made my stomach churn.
I’d let a whole beautiful life pass me by.
Staring at that front door, I was assaulted by visions of what could have been.
Me packing the car for vacations at the beach.
Us jogging down the steps, laughing as we headed out for a date night.
Gwen carrying bags filled with tomatoes and zucchini after a Sunday trip to the farmers market.
Me falling to my knees when she met me at the door with a positive pregnancy test.
Our daughter blowing out birthday candles as our son tried to swipe the icing.
Playing catch on the front lawn.
Kissing boo-boos when they fell off their bikes.
Taking pictures before they headed off to prom.
Cars lining the street as we hosted a high school graduation party in the backyard.
Our last child driving away for college, leaving us with a heartbreakingly empty nest, but still grinning because I knew Gwen would be forever by my side.
I hadn’t just let go of Gwen all those years ago.
I’d let go of an entire beautiful future together.
And after all the tragedy I’d experienced, that might have been the most devastating reality of all.