Alone with You

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Truett

I was pacing Gwen’s living room when I heard her car pull into the driveway.

She’d left to pick up Nate about twenty minutes earlier and I’d been a bag of nerves ever since. I’d lost my only daughter, but I was no stranger to children. Daniel had two boys who occasionally came over to the house with him and I loved the hell out of those heathens.

This was different though. It was always a big deal for a woman to introduce a man to her kids. The pressure to make a good first impression. The balance of trying to be fun and witty so they like you, but not so fun and witty they didn’t respect you. I’d never personally been the adult in that situation, but I’d met a few of my mom’s boyfriends over the years.

I’d hated them all.

They weren’t bad guys or anything. They were just random people I had little interest in getting to know.

But this was Gwen’s kid. The stakes had never been higher.

“I win!” The door swung open and a little boy wearing a white T-shirt and a blue striped bathing suit came barreling inside.

My lungs seized as I took him in. He was Gwen’s clone. From his dark hair and eyes to her nose and full lips, he looked just like her. Which also meant he looked just like Kaitlyn. It had stolen my breath when I’d seen him that first time at the restaurant, but after seeing so many pictures of him all over Gwen’s house, I hadn’t thought it would hit me as hard.

I was wrong.

“Who are you?” he asked as he came to a screeching halt in the foyer.

My throat was thick, but I managed to reply. “I’m Truett.”

Gwen had told him I was going to be there the night before when they’d talked on the phone. From what I’d heard of his response, he’d been excited. That was one of the only reasons I hadn’t hitchhiked home in the last twenty minutes.

He scanned me from head to toe, looking more than just a little disappointed. “No, you aren’t.”

Gwen came in behind him and shut and locked the door. “Dude, could you slow down? I’m getting too old to keep up with you.”

He tilted his head back and looked up at her. “That’s not Truett.”

She twisted her lips. “I’m pretty sure it is.”

“Then what’s wrong with his face?” he asked as if I weren’t standing directly in front of him.

Gwen bumped him with her hip. “Hey! Stop being rude. It’s called a beard. I promise it’s still Truett under there.”

Slowly, he walked over to me, his lips pursed and his gaze skeptical. He circled around me like a guard dog sniffing someone new. He lifted my arm, inspecting my tattoos, and only then did he seem convinced.

“Oh, hey, Truett,” he chirped.

“Hi,” I replied stiffly.

Speak, asshole. It’s a child. Don’t freeze up now.

I cleared my throat. Ah yes, the bribery portion of the evening. “I brought you a little something.”

“A present? It’s not even my birthday! You’re the best!”

I grinned as I snagged the gift bag off the couch.

It took him no time to tear out the tissue paper Gwen had added, his face falling into a deep frown as he examined the present. “Mom! Seriously?”

I cut my eyes to Gwen just in time to watch her stifle a smile.

“Truett, you shouldn’t have!” she feigned surprise.

Perplexed, I stared at her. She’d sat with me on Amazon the night before and helped me pick out a gift I could have delivered the following day.

Nate turned the box over in his hands, disgust curling his mouth as he pinned his mother with a glare. “A pressed flower kit? You made him get this, didn’t you?”

I flared my eyes at her. “You said he’d asked for that.”

She laughed. “Well, I thought you’d like that. We haven’t done one of those before.”

Nate groaned but turned his attention back to me. “Uh, thanks for the gift.”

I scowled at Gwen. “There’s something else in there too. Something I picked out.”

With much less enthusiasm than before, he took the present and unwrapped it slowly, a fake smile plastered on his face. But when he read the writing on the box, the smile morphed into a full-on grin. “Is this that jellybean game where some of them taste like grass and boogers?”

I proudly nodded.

“I’ve been wanting this!” He bounded over and threw his arms around my waist.

I turned to stone immediately, but something deep inside of me also relaxed. The hug lasted less than a few seconds, but his excitement lingered.

“Mom, look! You have to eat them and you don’t know what you’re gonna get!” He held it up just inches from her face. “Can we play it? After dinner? Please?”

Disgust turned the corner of her mouth down, but she skirted the question and announced, “We’ll see. But first, you need to go take a shower.”

“I already took a shower. I used soap and everything!”

She rolled her eyes. “You poured dish soap on an old blue tarp and then spent two hours sliding with your friends.”

Serious as a heart attack, he replied, “Yeah. That’s the same thing.”

Gwen barked a laugh as she moved my way. She placed a quick peck on my cheek before asking, “Dear Lord, what is it about boys that gives them such an aversion to personal hygiene?”

Nate glanced between the two of us, not a sliver of concern on his face, and with that, the ball of nerves I’d been battling loosened its grip.

“I don’t know, Gwen. Soap and water usually equals a shower in my book.” I winked at Nate.

His eyes lit up. “Yeah, Mom. See? Even Truett agrees with me!”

She shot me a scowl, but it held no heat. “Mmhm. You still have grass on your feet, kid.”

With a quick swipe of his hand, he brushed the blades onto the floor. “There. All gone.”

“Get in the shower, Nate.”

His head fell back. “But I wanna hang out with Truett!”

I was well aware that it was a ploy to get him out bathing, but it still struck a chord deep within me.

Gwen wasn’t wrong. I’d been a boy once too and showering sucked. But it didn’t have to be a total downer.

“Hey, what’s the fastest you’ve ever taken a shower?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I leaned to the side and checked the oven timer. “Those wings have seven minutes left, and let me just tell you, they look incredible. Definitely not the kind you want to eat cold. Seven minutes probably isn’t enough time for you to take a shower and get dressed though.”

“Yeah, it is!” he exclaimed with a big goofy grin. “I can do it in three minutes!”

“No way?”

“You wanna time me?” he asked, discarding his gifts on the couch.

I scoffed. “Absolutely. How many times do people get to witness a world record in real life?”

“Yesss!” he hissed, and then right there beside me, in the middle of the living room, he got down on all fours in what I assumed was supposed to be a runner’s stance. “Okay, okay. I’m ready. Tell me when to go.”

I pressed a few buttons on my watch until the stopwatch popped up. “On your mark, get set…” I drew it out for a long second to rile him up. “Go!”

He took off like he’d been shot out of a cannon, nearly knocking over the lamp on the end table as he turned the corner.

As his feet pounded up the stairs, I looked back and found Gwen smiling at me.

“You do know he’s not going to wash anything while he’s in there.”

I hooked her around the shoulders and pulled her into my side. “He’s already soaped up. A rinse should still do the job.”

She laughed and pressed up onto her toes, brushing her lips with mine.

I kissed her back, long and deep, sliding my hand down to her ass while we didn’t have little eyes around. It was the wrong damn time to get myself worked up, so I begrudgingly released her mouth.

“Any issues picking him up?” I asked.

“Surprisingly, no. Jeff just stood at the door without uttering a word.”

“Smart man,” I mumbled.

“I wouldn’t go that far, but here’s to hoping whatever you said to him actually got through.”

“How’d his face look?”

She laughed and headed to the kitchen. “A little swelling, but there was no bruising or anything. I’m gonna go out on a very short limb and say it’s definitely not broken.”

I followed, muttering, “Shame.”

She pinned me with a glare, and I lifted my hands in surrender, pointing one finger up at the ceiling.

“He’s behind closed doors, which means we’re technically behind closed doors too. It’s the only time I’m allowed to talk shit, remember?”

“Nate didn’t mention it though. I figured Jeff would have gone home bragging about how he’d bested a maniac. He really likes to be the hero.”

“Well, that makes one of us,” I mumbled.

She shook her head and opened the oven. A whiff of orange came floating out as she peeked inside.

I sniffed the air. “I thought you said those were buffalo wings?”

“They are, but I decided to try my hand at spicy citrus wings too. I figured they’d be something fun I could do at The Rosewood for a trivia night or a happy hour special.”

I sat down on the stool closest to her. “If they taste half as good as they smell, you’ll have a line wrapped around the building.”

“Fingers crossed.” She turned to me and wedged her hips between my legs, resting her hands on my thighs. “It’s almost six. How are you feeling about not being in the booth?”

“Jesus, woman. Stop asking me that. We discussed this. I’m with you and I don’t hurt when I’m with you.” I leaned forward, pressing a reverent kiss to her lips. “Unless you make me spend another four hours installing ceiling fans that outweigh you. I’m sore as shit today.”

She giggled. “That’s what you get for stealing my car.”

“I borrowed it. Kinda like how you borrow me for manual labor and eye candy.”

She threw her head back, laughing. “Damn, you figured me out.”

Suddenly, there was a stampede on her stairwell, and I turned in time to see Nate leap from the third step, tripping over his own feet as he stumbled through an imaginary finish line.

He fell dramatically to the floor, panting as he asked, “What was my time?”

Grinning like a fool, I looked down at my watch.

It read: four minutes and thirty-eight seconds.

Carefully moving Gwen from in front of me, I jumped to my feet. Throwing my hands over my head, I spoke in my best sports announcer’s voice and lied. “Two minutes and thirty-eight seconds. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new world record!”

Nate pumped his fist from the floor, basking in his victory.

I froze when a flash illuminated from the corner of my eye.

It wasn’t gunfire.

It wasn’t Folly.

It was Gwen, her phone held high, snapping pictures of her son—and me. Memories trapped forever, all because I finally walked out of my house.

For that alone, I celebrated my own victory.

Rushing toward her, I bent low and folded her over my shoulder. “And the crowd goes wild!” I roared, carrying her around the kitchen.

Nate rolled in hysterics as Gwen slapped me on the butt, demanding I put her down. She joined me for the chorus of Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” so I figured I wasn’t going to be in too much trouble as I added another lap around the living room.

Nate cheered.

Gwen laughed.

And I felt a piece of my soul heal for the very first time in eighteen years.

A timer sounded from the kitchen, ending our celebration, but the evening was just getting started.

“Did your tattoos hurt?” Nate asked, chowing down on a chicken wing.

“Some of them did,” I answered, my fingers sticky with the most delicious spicy citrus sauce ever to be invented. People weren’t just going to be wrapped around the building; they were going to be wrapped around the city.

“Which one’s your favorite?” He spoke around a mouthful of food.

Gwen patted his arm. “Finish chewing before you talk, please.”

He nodded and then peered at me expectantly.

“Oof, that’s a tough question,” I replied. “I got them at such different times in my life that it’s almost like a history book about me. But I guess, if you forced me to choose, it would be this one.” I wiped my hands on my napkin and then lifted the side of my shirt.

Nate hurried around the table and then squatted so he could get a better look at my side. It was a tiger, its head three times the size of the rest of its body, and a pink squiggly line acting as a tutu was wrapped around its stomach. There were only four black stripes on its entire orange body, but at the end of each stick leg were large silver dots meant to be sparkly shoes.

Nate’s mouth fell open. “Is that Fiona Iona?”

Then my mouth fell open. “How do you know that?” When Gwen giggled, I craned my head back to look at her. “How does he know that?”

“Hey, bud. Take Truett to see the playroom while I start cleaning up.”

He excitedly tugged on my arm, and despite the fact that I had two wings left, I was shocked enough to follow him.

He guided me down the hall, past the bathroom, to a closed door. His nose wrinkled as he looked up at me. “It’s kinda messy, but just pretend it’s not, okay?”

Little did he know, I was a master pretender. “Okay.”

He swung the door open, and he was correct. It was a mess, which was most likely why Gwen kept the door shut.

There was a loveseat that took up most of the room, toys lining the floor around it. But on the walls were frames holding children’s art like they were being displayed in a gallery, complete with little plaques beneath them listing the title and artist. Half of them were Kaitlyn’s, the other half Nate’s.

I could barely breathe as I stared at them. All of them, not just Kaitlyn’s.

Gwen kept her alive in a house where there was laughter and happiness, while I’d kept her locked in a home where the only sound for several years had been me waking up screaming from nightmares.

Nate jumped up onto the loveseat, pointing to the top row. “See, Fiona Iona.”

It wasn’t the same exact drawing as the one I’d had tattooed on my side. Different squiggled tutu, a few more stripes, but it was definitely Fiona Iona.

I stood there staring as I felt Gwen appear behind me.

She ducked under my arm and curled into my side. “I told you we didn’t forget about her.”

I drew in a shaky breath. This woman. This fucking woman. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered. “Hey, bud, this room is a disaster.”

“Truett said it was okay. Right, True?”

True.

Everyone called me that. It was the logical nickname. But there was something about hearing him say it that, once again, hit me deep.

“Yeah, it’s totally fine. Actually, it looks good if you ask me.”

“See?” Nate giggled.

Gwen looked at her son. “Truett is a neat freak who folds his underwear. We’re lucky he didn’t have a stroke when he walked in here.”

“You fold your underwear!” Nate gasped in pure horror.

I shrugged. “What can I say? Old habits die hard.”

Gwen’s face turned serious. “I want to show you something else we do, but I’m worried it might make you uncomfortable. Being that it’s Wednesday and all, we might be pushing you too far already.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I think you’re more obsessed with Wednesdays than I am. I’m fine. Really.”

“Okay, then. We watch old videos a few times a week. You up for that?”

I swallowed hard. Boy, did I know about watching old videos. Though I had a feeling Gwen didn’t talk back, pretending she was still alive. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Together, we piled onto the couch. Nate insisted on sitting between us in his self-proclaimed spot.

Gwen grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, and within seconds, Kaitlyn’s smiling face filled the screen. My heart lurched as her excited giggle floated through the speakers, her sweet voice calling my name.

“Daddy! I wanna ride that one!” Her stubby finger pointed toward a roller coaster she wasn’t tall enough to ride.

The camera panned to a man I didn’t recognize. “Aw, baby. That one’s too big.”

He was lean, clean shaven, with a high and tight haircut, his arms covered in tattoos. His shoulders back and his spine straight, he exuded a confidence that wasn’t arrogant, but instead full of life.

I stared at him, my heart in my throat, trying to remember when that man had turned into the Truett of the present. Was it the day I’d left for deployment? The moment I’d lost my team? Or was it the second I’d let go of Kaitlyn for the last time?

“But, Daddy! Pwease! I just wanna ride a coaster.” Kaitlyn’s voice was laced with tears, and my heart squeezed, just as it had that day at the amusement park.

The young and happy version of Truett scooped her up into his arms and promised her that she’d get to ride a roller coaster—just maybe not the biggest one in the park. Gwen’s laughter from the other side of the camera sent a wave of longing through me. I’d heard her laugh at least a hundred times over the last few weeks, but not like that. This was filled with carefree youth. Oblivious to the traumas headed our way.

The video cut, and when it resumed, Kaitlyn and I were seated in the front of a ride shaped like a caterpillar. Her eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open in a grin as we both turned and waved at the camera just moments before the ride started.

We were in the kiddie section, the rides all fairly tame. But this was her first experience, and by the time the caterpillar train came to a halt at the end of the tracks, Kaitlyn’s wide smile had transformed into round eyes and a look of horror.

Nate giggled beside me. “This is my favorite part!”

Together, the three of us watched as I helped my daughter down the stairs, her lower lip quivering as we made our way toward Gwen, who was still standing behind the camera.

“How was it, baby?” she cooed.

Kaitlyn swallowed hard, and then without a hint of hesitation, she shouted, “I wanna do it again!”

Nate dissolved into a fit of laughter. “She looked so freaked out when she got off but then wanted to do it again! What a champ. That’s my sister!”

The wind rushed from my lungs as though I’d been punched in the gut.

“That’s my sister.”

Of course she was his sister.

Gwen was Kaitlyn’s mother, and she was Nate’s mother.

But, until that very moment, it hadn’t seemed real.

My baby girl had a younger brother. A brother who not only knew about her, despite never having met her, but one who was proud of her. I looked at Gwen who was eyeing me over the top of Nate’s head. She offered me a soft smile that I returned as I reached for her hand.

Lacing my fingers with hers, I said, “She was a lot like you, Nate.”

Nate tipped his head back at me. “Yup. Let’s watch another.”

For over an hour, we sat there watching home videos, many that I was in but had never seen. And with each one, I realized that I missed the carefree man who had taken his daughter to the park, snuck kisses from his wife when no one was looking, and smiled so much his cheeks had to have hurt.

Watching those movies transported me back in time to when life had been good and I had been fully alive. But the longer I sat on Gwen’s couch, her son between us laughing and chatting away, the more I realized that what I’d been doing on my own couch for all these years was nothing more than an illusion.

I didn’t want to live in that fantasy world anymore.

I wanted this.

Silly conversations about disgusting jellybeans.

Lighthearted debates over whether a shower was necessary every day.

Home-cooked meals shared around a table with people who were actually there.

I wanted reality. This reality.

The doorbell rang as the last home movie was ending, and Nate sprang to his feet. “I’ll get it!”

I exchanged a questioning look with Gwen, and she shrugged her shoulder.

“Pike!” Nate squealed from the door. “Dude! What are you doing here?”

Gwen pressed to her feet, and I stood to follow her.

“Dylan?” she asked, her head tilted to the side. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

Dylan’s blue gaze darted around the living room until it landed on me, and her lips tipped up in a smile. “Yep. Everything is great.” She stepped inside, closing the door behind her. “Pike’s been begging for a sleepover, so I figured we’d stop by and see if Nate was free?”

Gwen cocked a brow. “Is that so? It just happens to be the same night Truett is here?”

“Weird coincidence, right?”

After having disappeared down the hall with Pike as soon as he’d come in, Nate returned with a bookbag slung over his shoulder. “I’m ready!”

“Whoa!” Gwen held a hand up. “Ready for what? Where do you think you’re going?”

He screwed his lips to the side. “To Pike’s, duh.”

“Duh?” Dylan and Gwen scolded in unison.

“I mean, please?” Nate batted his eyelashes at his mother and poked out his lower lip.

I stood off to the side, watching with amusement as the two boys took turns begging for a sleepover until Gwen finally relented.

“Did you pack a toothbrush? Underwear? A shirt maybe?” Gwen asked, reaching for his backpack.

“Uhhhh… Maybe?”

With a sigh, Gwen turned to me. “I’ll be right back.”

When the boys started chattering about staying up all night and Nate excitedly showed his friend the jellybean game they were going to play, Dylan sent them out to the car.

“We haven’t formally met,” she said with her hand outstretched. “I’m Dylan, Gwen’s best friend.”

I grasped her hand, noticing the strength of her surprisingly firm grip. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Truett.”

“Probably not as much as I’ve heard about you.” She grinned, pulling her hand from mine as she stepped closer. “Not all good stuff, either.”

A wave of shame washed through me as I held her intense stare. “I know Gwen’s told you the good, bad, and ugly. God knows there’s certainly been a lot more ugly than good.”

“Sounds like the ugly is water under the bridge though? Hell, I’m almost sick of seeing her smile all the time.” She pressed her lips together. “But it sure beats watching her cry. And I’m sure I won’t be seeing that with you around, right?”

She was asking for a promise in probably the nicest threatening way possible. Luckily, it was one I felt confident I could keep. “Not if I can help it.”

Her eyes twinkled. “I heard you punched Jeff.”

“I did not punch him.”

“Right. Sure.” She winked. “Just so you know, if you were a politician, that alone would have earned you my vote.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. It was easy to understand how she and Gwen were friends.

She looked me over once more and nodded just as Gwen came back down the hall, Nate’s bag full.

“What’d I miss?” Gwen asked.

“Nothing.” Dylan plucked the bookbag from her hand and pulled the door open. “I’ll have him back to you tomorrow afternoon. Enjoy your evening.”

We followed her through the door, watching as she made her way to the car. As soon as she started it up, Nate rolled the window down and hung his upper body out.

“Bye, Truett! See you later!”

I lifted a hand in a wave as he turned his attention to his mother.

“Mwah, mwah, mwah!” He blew countless kisses—just like Kaitlyn.

And just like with Kaitlyn, Gwen reached up to catch every one, planting them on her cheeks. “Love you, baby!”

“Love you too, Mom!” he shouted.

We stood together on the porch until the car was out of sight, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Kaitlyn used to do that,” I managed to utter, emotion clogging my throat.

Gwen’s hand reached for mine and she pulled me into her side. “Yep. I didn’t even teach him that. He just started doing it one day.”

Turning so that I could face her, I wrapped my arms around her waist. “He’s a good kid. I see so much of Kaitlyn in him.”

She nodded as she looped her arms around my neck. “Losing Kaitlyn was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t think I’d ever love like that again. But then Nate came along. He can’t replace her; it wouldn’t be fair to him to expect that. But he helps keep her memory alive. He’s the silver lining on the darkest storm cloud in my life.”

She pressed to her toes, her lips trailing kisses along my neck until she reached my mouth. The emotions that evening tumbled from my lips as I poured every bit of love and appreciation I had for her into our kiss. Our tongues danced together; a routine learned long ago but never forgotten.

Yeah. I wanted this.

A life in reality.

A life with her.