Chapter 12
Natalia
I hadn’t gotten the nerve to call Adrian that day. Or the next. Or even the one after. Now three days had passed, and I was lying in bed telling myself that I would pick up the phone tomorrow even though I knew in my heart that was a lie too.
If I spoke to him, he would know that I was missing him. He’d know that my heart was pining for him and that I was wanting to feel his arms around me.
Or the feel of his fingers tracing along my skin.
He’d know everything so it was just better if I didn’t say anything at all. I closed my eyes, knowing that wouldn’t sit well with me either.
Isabella deserved more than that. I’d given her my word.
I sighed, slipping my fingers along the gentle expanse of my throat. It was probably three in the morning by now and I was still sitting here wide awake. Over the past few weeks, I slept less and less. Even my own touch tonight had left me feeling weaker than ever. I just wanted it to be him.
I edged them downward until they only just scraped against the hardening peaks of my nipples. I gasped softly at the sensation and the way it reminded me of his touch. Nervously, I bit my bottom lip and I pushed onward. Tonight, I was going to be bold.
I hadn’t had an orgasm since that night three months ago. Not even a single one because I was afraid that I’d think about him in the heat of the moment.
I didn’t want to have feelings for him.
I pushed all that aside because I just wanted to imagine him touching me. It felt like there was a hole in my chest and I didn’t want it to be there because I was missing him. I just wanted to fill that empty feeling for a little while and for now, maybe it would be enough.
With a quiet sigh, I arched back and lifted the hem of my nightgown. I pushed my panties to the side and lightly slid my fingertips up and down my pussy. I closed my eyes, a little bit ashamed to find myself wet.
What did it matter? I was the only one that would know.
Casually, I circled my fingertips over my clit, playing with myself and coaxing forward my reluctant arousal with embarrassing ease. I gasped quietly, a lightning bolt of need coursing through me with vicious intensity. I could do this. I didn’t need him when I had myself.
A cold flare of sadness blossomed inside, and I faltered.
A floorboard creaked and I stilled, suddenly feeling the aura of the room change. It felt like I was no longer alone.
Quickly, I opened my eyes and rushed to reach for my knife, but I wasn’t fast enough. A large form moved over me with supernatural speed and pinned me to the bed. I knew who it was in an instant.
Adrian.
Instinctually, my sorrow receded. It was replaced with something brighter. Hope.
“I know what you were doing, mate,” he snarled. I tried to break his hold on my wrists, but he was too strong. He held both my arms in one hand, and I still couldn’t escape him.
“Fuck you. I wasn’t doing anything. I was just trying to sleep,” I spat, and he grinned in a way that made me increasingly nervous, but also excited in a small way.
Instead of responding, he forced his hand in between my legs. I cried out as his fingers slipped along the surface. I tried to squirm out of his grasp, but it only resulted in me rubbing my clit against his fingertips. I tried to stifle a moan. It came out as a strangled cry of arousal instead.
There was no hiding from him this way.
“Don’t lie to me, little mate. I could smell your arousal from across the room. I could see your naughty little fingers between your legs. You were touching this sweet little pussy without my permission,” he countered.
He pressed two fingers roughly inside me, and I bit the inside of my cheek, vowing to keep my desire quiet no matter what he did to me.
“Get off of me,” I spat, and he chuckled. He pulled his fingers free from my pussy and I gasped at the sudden emptiness. He took advantage of my surprise and shoved those same fingers into my mouth. It caught me so off guard that I gagged.
“Taste yourself. You cannot lie to me, little mate,” he murmured and for a moment, I choked on the thickness of those fingers.
The taste of my own arousal was humiliating and shamefully arousing all in the same breath. The flavor was musky, salty, and sweet, with the slightest hint of candied peaches. I could have bitten him, but I found myself instinctually sucking on those digits instead.
I couldn’t help myself.
“Clean them off, mate. I want them spotless for when I punish you for touching yourself without permission,” he growled and my chest squeezed tight with fear, need and something else.
Love.
I didn’t realize it until that last moment, but I’d been waiting for him to come after me. I’d wanted him to chase me. I’d wanted him to value me enough to not let me get away.
I’d wanted him to show me just how much he needed me with every last inch of his cock.
“Do your worst, alpha,” I goaded him. When I spoke, the sound of my voice was shamefully muffled.
My tongue bounced off his finger, my words slurring together, but he understood what I meant.
He grinned so widely that I thought that his jaw might split in two.
My stomach dropped precipitously at the sight, and I renewed my struggle, which only resulted in him shoving those fingers just a little bit further into the back of my throat.
For the first time, I pressed my teeth against his merciless digits in warning.
If he didn’t take them out, I was going to bite through them.
“Be a good girl, Natalia,” he threatened. “Your teeth aren’t strong enough to pierce through my skin.”
I practically snarled as he pulled his fingers free from my lips.
Without warning, he grasped me around the waist and flipped me over onto my belly.
I kicked and punched the bed in an attempt to get away, but he was prepared for that.
He grabbed the hem of my nightgown before he tore through it as if it was made from just a thin piece of tissue paper.
I cried out, but that didn’t even give him pause.
He used his body weight to hold me down on the bed, his thighs to either side of my waist. I struggled against him, but I was no match for his bigger size.
I tried reaching backwards to stop him from ripping my nightgown even further, but he knocked my hand away like it was nothing more than a fly.
My nightgown didn’t stand a chance.
He made quick work of it and then he used the remains to tie each of my wrists to the bed. I didn’t make his job easy even I knew he was going to overpower me in the end. I kicked and punched, but he seemed prepared for every move I made.
Soon enough, I was wearing nothing but my panties.
As if he knew the direction of my thoughts, he traced his hands over top of the soft lacey fabric. I shoved my face into the pillow beneath me, determined to keep my vow of silence no matter what. I knew he wasn’t going to make it easy, but I was strong too.
The mark on my shoulder throbbed, as if it was answering his call. I closed my eyes and hid from it as best as I could. With every pulse, my willpower faltered, and I had to force it back up again.
He slid a single finger below the hem of my underwear, gliding it back and forth against my skin. I swallowed anxiously as fierce little tendrils of pleasure spiraled through me and settled in the center of my core. I didn’t want to be aroused.
I shouldn’t let this turn me on, but there was a part of me that was giving in.
I hummed with nervous anxiety as his touch skimmed across my flesh. He continued for a long time, as if he was trying to lull me into a calmer state but it just made me feel even more tense.
Gently, he grasped my panties and pulled up.
The fabric wedged between my bottom cheeks, although it was the cloth pinching my clit that held my full attention.
He dragged it back and forth, which only teased my desire forth even more.
I gasped into the pillow, trying to ignore the pleasurable way it rubbed that little bundle of nerves, but it was impossible.
I was far too needy already.
I bit my lower lip. A small grunt of pleasure escaped me, and I pressed my face even more firmly against the pillow hoping to muffle myself.
His other hand swept up the curve of my back.
“Little mate, do you really think you can hide your sounds from me?” he growled.
He slid his fingers into the hair at the base of my scalp and pulled hard, forcing my head from the pillow.
I cried out and at the same time, he tore my panties from my body.
I gasped from the pain, the air whooshing out of my lungs in a rush.
I trembled as his palm grazed across my bare bottom.
“You touched yourself without permission, didn’t you, little mate?”
“Yes,” I whined. I prayed that the stinging sensation would fade or that he would release the hair at the back of my head. It was a false hope.
“What needs to happen, little mate? What do you need me to do?”
I refused to say anything at all. I knew what would happen. I didn’t need to tell him. With a growl, I pulled against my bonds, but they held fast.
“Oh, sweet Natalia, I’m going to enjoy this,” he purred, and his palm cracked down against my backside. I shrieked, but that didn’t stop him just like I knew it wouldn’t.
“Let me go!” I said hoarsely, but I couldn’t stop the way my hips lifted toward him. Even my legs parted just the slightest bit.
My body was seeking out his punishment and so was my heart.
His palm crashed down on my backside several times. His hold on my hair tightened until my scalp burned just as hot. He was ruthless, but I didn’t expect anything less from him.
In fact, there was a part of me that counted on him for it. Maybe it was crazy, but I’d been the one who walked away from him. I’d been the one who had decided I didn’t need him, when I really did.
He knew that. I was sure of it.
He’d allowed me to leave his side for so long and his patience had run out. Now he was coming to stake his claim.
Physically.