Chapter 10 - Alisha
When Brad leaves to hurry off to the council meeting, I tidy up the kitchen a little and then go to stand on the front porch of the little cottage.
It’s set just out of the way of the rest of the suburb, right on the edge of the woods, with a messy, overgrown garden that seems to be doing its best to join the wilderness beyond the backyard fence.
I listen to the birds chirping softly, some of them dancing in the air as they catch tiny bugs. Closing my eyes, I can almost hear the low hum of the earth and plants in harmony, a perfect system of balance and exchange.
How can people hate bugs so much? Healthy bugs, healthy plants, healthy birds…it’s all connected.
I take a deep breath, enjoying the scent of different blooms entangled together in hanging vines across the porch. The morning feels bright and full of promise, as if my future is rolling out ahead of me like a red carpet, and all I have to do is take the first step.
But where do I want to go?
Aside from the magnificent chaos of the overgrown yard around the house, the only other place I want to be is at the botanical garden. I feel bad about what I did to Grace the other day, and I’d really like to apologize to her properly.
I have to stop assuming everyone is scheming against me or laughing at me behind my back. Paul really fucked me up, but I don’t have to keep punishing myself for it.
Even though Brad took the truck, there’s a mountain bike in the garage, and the garden isn’t far. I enjoy the cycle into town, cruising along with the wind trickling lightly through my long hair.
When I arrive at the gardens, the parking lot is pretty much empty. There is a small office and café by the entrance that, so far, I’ve never seen open, but I have to assume they hold important events and picnics here.
I wander through the massive stone archway, looking around idly as I decide which way to go. Pathways spiral out in every direction, leading into sections of different kinds of plants, bright green, grassy meadows, and little stone courtyards.
Beautiful spot for a wedding!
Before that thought can take root, I hear a small cry and look up the north path, seeing Grace hurrying towards me.
“Alisha!” she cries, running over to give me a quick hug. “Where did you disappear to the other day? You barely even spoke to me when you came back through with Brad.”
“I’m really sorry about that,” I say, looking her in the eye even as my heart cowers in shame. “I was at a meeting with Brad before we came here, and one of the elders said something to me that I couldn’t shake. I freaked out a bit. I’m really sorry I took off on you like that.”
“No trouble at all,” she says, giving my arm a squeeze. “I was just terribly worried about you. I wouldn’t want to lose you in the gardens on your first visit!”
“No,” I answer, laughing softly. “You wouldn’t. How big is this place?”
“About twenty-five acres,” Grace says proudly. “We have groundskeepers for the big jobs, and a few people who volunteer occasionally. But mostly, it’s just me.”
“How did you end up working here?”
Grace takes my arm lightly and gestures for me to come with her. “Come up to the covered garden. It’s much cooler up there, and the sun is starting to sizzle out here already. Also, you can check on those hyacinths.”
“I’d love to,” I reply, chuckling as I follow her.
“As for me and the garden, well, I just kind of fell into the job. It’s very low pay, and a lot of work, but I like being out of the way.”
“Why?” I ask, feeling the weight in her words.
Grace bites her lip a little as we enter the covered garden, and she takes off her wide-brimmed hat to lift her long, honey blonde hair off her neck, sighing with relief.
“Would you like some water?” she asks. “I’ve got a cooler over there.”
“I’m starting to feel like you’re avoiding my question,” I mutter.
Grace frowns. “Maybe. But let me ask you one. At the meeting, was it Mitchell who said something nasty to you?”
I sigh, sitting down on a stone bench. “I’m not sure it was even nasty. He just made a remark about me being a shiftless wolf, and it triggered me. I don’t think he meant to be mean.”
Grace nods, narrowing her eyes. “He probably didn’t, but he would usually be the one to say something like that. The class divide in this town is pretty serious, and it isn’t going to be fixed overnight.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. There are old families here, very powerful people. They liked Azarian’s regime, and I don’t think they’ll take kindly to an alliance with Rose Hollow.”
“Grace?” I say, smiling. “I don’t think you’ve answered my question.”
She smiles back. “No. I don’t think so. Well, I’ll just come out with it, then. I’m a shiftless wolf, too.”
Her words shock me so badly, I almost fall backwards off the stone bench. “Really? But I’ve never met another one before. I thought I was the only one!”
“So did I,” Grace says, looking away shyly.
I get up and give her a hug, squeezing her tightly. She squeezes me right back.
“I could tell, sort of,” Grace says, as she grabs some water bottles and we both sit down. “You know how we kind of have mixed senses? Not quite wolf, but not quite human, either? I don’t know—is it the same for you?”
“It is.”
“Yeah. Well, I could tell you weren’t ordinary, but I also knew you didn’t feel like a wolf. I’m so happy you came back. I’ve been so isolated, for so long—it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”
“I know what you mean,” I say. “No matter how close I’ve gotten with people, I always feel like I’m being judged. I ran away from my pack. It must have been horrible for you, trapped here all alone.”
“Yes,” Grace answers. “I don’t have your bravery. I couldn’t leave.”
“It’s not bravery,” I mutter. “It was desperation and stupidity.”
“They could be said to be one and the same,” Grace whispers.
We both sit in silence for a while, sipping water and watching the birds play in the air around us. A low chirping sound from the bushes outside as insects begin to sing in the midday heat.
“I’m jealous,” I say, finally. “You get to spend all day, every day here. Maybe if I’d had a refuge like this, I wouldn’t have had to run away from my pack.”
“It has been a refuge.” Grace nods in agreement. “But there’s no reason why you can’t share it.”
“Excuse me?”
“I can offer you a part-time job here—as many hours a week as you like!” Grace says, smiling mischievously. “I’m supposed to ask for council approval before spending city funds, but I don’t think the alpha will mind.”
“Really?” I ask, full of disbelief but also hope.
“Really! I could use the help. I’m not just doing this so I have someone to talk to.”
“But that part certainly helps,” I say, laughing.
Grace laughs, too, and we give each other a brief hug.
It feels like I’ve just gained a sister. Almost like being parted from her now is something I could never recover from, and I couldn’t bear to let her down.
The feeling of closeness and responsibility frightens me. For such a long time, I’ve only worried about myself, and my deep distrust of others stopped me from ever being vulnerable.
But I’d protect Grace with my life…and I know she’d do the same for me.
“I don’t know if I’ll be here…permanently,” I admit, a lump forming in my throat. “So, the job better not be a long-term commitment.”
A look flashes through Grace’s eyes, too fast for me to catch. I worry that I’ve hurt her, but she just gives me a slow nod and a smile.
“Whatever you need,” she says. “We can make it work.”
Grace takes me over to the hyacinths, and I spend a few hours helping her with the indoor garden and nursery. As the sun starts to sink in the west, I tell her I should get going so I can be home before Brad, and take off on his bike back to the little cottage.
When I get there, the place is still empty, so I busy myself in the kitchen, tossing a salad and mixing up a pasta sauce.
I feel slightly edgy, and I expect to feel surprise and maybe even worry when Brad gets home.
But when I hear his call as he comes through the front door, all I feel is a surge of joy.
I’m getting way too comfortable here. It’s dangerous territory, but I don’t know how to turn back. This could be the home I’ve always dreamed of…
“What are we having?” Brad asks, gesturing to the stove as he comes into the kitchen.
“Sweet tomato sauce and gnocchi, I think. Don’t ask me what the sauce is called because I made it up—and I’ve never cooked gnocchi before.”
“Let’s take a look,” Brad says, going past me to examine the bubbling pots. He reaches for a nearby spoon and takes a small mouthful of sauce.
“Hmm, that’s really good. Just enough pepper.”
“I remembered how you like it.”
Brad smiles at me, and I see surprise shimmering in his eyes. He looks at me for so long, I start to blush and look away.
“You look so cute when your cheeks color up like that,” he teases.
“Oh, yeah? Well, your butt is cute when you bend over and lean on the counter like that.”
“Really?” he says innocently, eyes going wide. “Well, I was going to stand up straight, but since you said that, I'd better stay bent over for the rest of my life.”
“Might want to pick your crowd,” I giggle. “This look isn’t appealing to everyone.”
“You’re right,” he says with deadly seriousness. “I’ll have to figure this out very carefully. I’m just extremely conscious now of how my butt needs to be shown off.”
“Like I said, it’s cute. But when you’re bent over like that, it’s hard to see the rest of you.”
“Oh?” he says, standing up. He flexes his pecs, then curls a bicep, showing off the rock-hard muscle.
“Like this?” he asks, with a maddeningly cute smile.
“Uh-huh,” I mutter, my voice getting caught in my throat.
Jesus Christ, I always forget how hot he is!
Brad continues posing, even doing a little twirl, and my eyes travel over his body, the view robbing me of speech and good sense.
“Alisha,” Brad says, coming closer so he can put his hand under my chin. “You’ve faded out.”
“No, I have not,” I answer. “I am exceedingly focused right now, just not on your eyes.”
He chuckles, tilting my chin up. “Did you have a good day?” he asks.
I nod. “I went to the garden. Grace offered me a job.”
“That’s wonderful!” Brad exclaims. “I’m so happy for you.”
I can see he is really, genuinely happy for me, and it melts the last of my resistance.
I want to tell him everything—that Grace is a shiftless wolf, too, and I truly bonded with her and made a best friend for life.
I also have questions about the council and the state of the town, but none of it matters as much as the touch of his skin on mine.
I reach up and run my hands down his arms, tilting my head just a little and blinking coyly.
He smiles, but pulls back a bit. “Alisha, I—”
“Brad,” I say, reaching for him. “Please, just hold me.”
“Okay,” he answers, wrapping his arms around me.
I snuggle against his chest, enjoying the feel of his strong body through the soft fabric of his shirt, and the faint, clean smell of his aftershave.
Brad is holding me so gently, as if he’s afraid I’ll break.
Keeping my hands wrapped around his waist, I lean back, looking into his eyes and stretching up until our lips are almost touching.
I feel him bend, as if he’s drawn to my lips by a magnet. The moment our lips touch seems to crackle, as if an electric shock snapped between the two of us. Instead of being painful, it sends waves of luscious heat through my body, lingering in my thighs, nipples, and deep between my legs.
With a soft moan, I tip my head back and feel Brad kissing me even more deeply. His arms wrap tightly around my waist and lift me up a little, so I have to grab his shoulders for balance.
The feel of his hot, slick lips against mine is so intense, I’m almost dizzy. The thumping of my heart drowns out all else except for the rush of lust that floods my body, destroying the last lingering shred of my control.
Doubt, mistrust, confusion…I’d already challenged those feelings today, and almost defeated them when I accepted that Grace really wants to be my friend. They rise in me again now, as I try to cling to the last shreds of good sense before my desire blows them away.
Fuck it. I’m tired of this—I’m tired of wanting, suffering, and fighting! All I want is this!
I give in to Brad’s kiss, throwing myself into our passion with an abandon like never before.