Chapter 8 - Sara
When Shawn leaves the room, emptiness seems to echo around me, as if the lack of him has actually made me feel lonely.
I’ve been isolated my whole life, but this is the first time I’ve felt truly alone.
I don’t want to examine the feeling too closely, so I just put our dishes in the sink and go up to the bedroom. Again, I’m struck by a feeling of emptiness, and I have to try hard to push it away.
What, do you want to rush down the stairs and throw yourself into his arms?
Grudgingly, I have to admit there’s a part of me that wants to be close to him. Talking to him felt good, like there was someone on my side, and I haven’t felt that way for a long time.
I didn’t go to see Talon and Jess because I thought Father might use me against them, and now I think that’s exactly what he did, anyway.
I slowly pull off the beautiful dress, hanging it up with Jess’s clothes. Even though I don’t trust the other women, it was still nice of them to think of me and bring me a beautiful gift.
I feel like I could enjoy getting to know them…except that Alisha and Grace were involved in the attack.
I put the feelings aside and go for a shower, enjoying the endless stream of hot water. Talon’s house has the best amenities in town, and Father’s shack always ran out of hot water by the time it was my turn.
As I let the warm stream soothe me, my mind returns to Shawn’s questions. I know he needs to find out about the town so he can run it, and for a short while, it felt like he was genuinely getting to know me. But at the end of the day, he’s still our enemy.
He seemed pretty interested in the fire that came from Eccles. Does he know what it is? Do they control it?
The thought is utterly terrifying to me. They could obliterate us anytime they like if they have access to such a weapon.
He keeps saying they want to help. Why would they suddenly decide to destroy us?
The old legends say, Eccles don’t need a reason; they simply exercise their power as they see fit. It makes me wish I knew more about the people who built this town.
Wasn’t there something about sacrifices in the old tales? That to summon the great power, they need innocent blood?
As I get out of the shower, my mind turns to the questions Shawn asked about my father, and they disturb me a great deal.
Shawn didn’t say one way or the other that it was safe to go out into the human world, but it feels like he knows something about it.
I always believed Father when he said it was dangerous, and now I’m wondering why I simply accepted this as truth. I read so many books and magazines that described the wonders of it, and I never thought it sounded that bad.
But Father said the way there was treacherous, and that he barely made it back alive.
Suspicion rises in me as I think about how often he’s gone, and that he has always made it back completely unscathed.
I’ve been so stupid, just believing him blindly about this. Maybe I could have left anytime I wanted.
Tears trickle down my cheeks, and I wipe at them angrily, tired of crying. When I put on some soft sweats and climb into bed, I’m dead tired, but after I curl up under the covers, my mind won’t stop racing.
What if we could have been part of the real world all this time? We know Eccles and other packs have links to the human cities—it was one of the reasons we shunned them—but was any of it even true?
My mind keeps circling, dredging up uncomfortable thoughts of how Talon would have to be involved in this if it were a conspiracy to control the town and all the people in it. The idea that my best friend kept us isolated and poor is too much for me to bear.
I can’t even contemplate it, and as I turn away from those thoughts, Shawn fills my head.
The way he watched me at the reception…it seemed so genuine.
Now that I’m alone and safe, I can explore the idea that I’m attracted to him. It’s almost shameful how my body heats up, lines of fire running across my skin, hardening my nipples, and making a hot point between my legs throb.
In any other circumstance, I’d be happy to be courted by him—and it is wonderful to be out of Father’s house!
The current bonds I have to suffer are only bearable because of the limited freedom I now have. I wrap the blankets around myself even more tightly, pushing all the uncomfortable thoughts out of my brain until I fall into a light sleep.
***
Noises in the kitchen wake me, and for a moment, I stretch out in bed, enjoying a glorious few moments of lying in before getting up.
I don’t think I’ve ever slept in a single day in all my life.
Even though I’m reluctant to start the day, I’m grateful that I’m not being shoved out of bed at Father’s house and being forced to make breakfast for all of them while Melanie shouts at me.
I actually giggle a little as I think about how it’s probably her responsibility to care for all of them now.
I change into one of Jess’s long, casual dresses, a pale blue one in light fabric. Down the hall, I can hear Shawn still clattering around in the kitchen. I don’t rush to get ready, half-hoping he’ll be done by the time I get there.
Hopefully, he’s just making a coffee or something, and when he goes to get dressed, I can make something for myself in peace.
Probably my worst fear is walking in and him demanding I make his breakfast, and telling me this is how the marriage is going to be, so I better get used to it.
That is what Father promised.
When I’m done washing up and brushing my hair, the noises in the kitchen have faded but not stopped. I take a deep breath for courage and go down to greet my husband.
That word is still weird as fuck to me.
I come through the doorway, and the scene I’m greeted with stuns me.
Shawn has set the table with a blue plaid cloth and Jess’s nice china and silver cutlery. There’s a plate of fried eggs and bowls of fruit, as well as freshly made coffee. When I come in, Shawn is carefully arranging some lilies in a little vase in the center of the table.
“What’s all this?” I ask, not believing my eyes.
“I just wanted to make breakfast for you,” he says, smiling. “We don’t have much, just some fruit from the garden and eggs from the chickens. We’ll have to get some supplies today.”
“Yeah,” I answer, still staring at the setup in disbelief as I sit down. “The others will be expecting us in town.”
“I thought as much. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“Sure.”
“There’s no milk, but we do have sugar. Plenty of tea and coffee, if you want more.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Shawn sits down and begins to demolish a plate of eggs and bacon, and I take a few eggs. Plain fried eggs aren’t my favorite thing—I’d much rather have eggs with toast—but I appreciate his effort so much, I don’t say anything.
When we finish, he immediately washes the dishes, and my sense of unreality grows.
Have I been dropped into an alien world? What kind of man cooks and cleans up without even a whisper?
The lack of talking is something I note. Several times, Shawn seems to take a breath as if about to speak, but then lets it go, leaving nothing but silence between us.
What’s going on with him?
“Okay,” he says, stacking the clean dishes on the rack. “Should we go?”
“Yes,” I reply. “I’m surprised Father hasn’t knocked on the door already.”
A look flashes across Shawn’s face, and for a moment, it’s like I see a deeper truth to him, but it disappears quickly. When we leave the house to walk around the hall to the main street, my mind is a tangled web of confusion.
Is he just being nice so he can get something from me? That’s how Father plays everyone. Why should Shawn be any different?
When we reach the park on the other side of the hall, the scene looks idyllic. Warm sunlight filters through the trees, dappling the long green grass. Children call out to each other as they run and play, and the adults standing in small groups all laugh and chat happily together.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen the pack so easy-going…what the hell is happening here?
“Alpha Shawn!” Father calls out as we approach. “And our lovely luna. You had a restful first night together, I hope?” Father winks a little, no doubt referring to our supposed consummation.
“It was lively as hell,” Shawn says, winking back. He even puts an arm around my waist and gives me a tight squeeze, making my father laugh.
Now he’s bragging? What the fuck?
I can feel my cheeks flaming red, but no one is paying much attention to me. I stand a step behind Shawn, feeling utterly mortified by their disrespect.
“I’m so glad you found her satisfying,” Father says. “I did worry for you. I’m prepared to do whatever is necessary for this alliance to work.”
“It’s working very well, don’t worry,” Shawn says, elbowing him. “I’m more than pleased by her compliance and her… ah…skills.”
Father laughs, leaning forward and grabbing his knees. “So far as I knew, she was untouched! I have no idea where she learned these skills you speak of, but I’m glad you found it an asset.”
“I absolutely do,” Shawn says, giving Father a hard slap on the shoulder. “Let’s move on to business, shall we?”
“Yes,” Father says, gesturing to some of the others. “Everyone’s excited to meet you.”
I follow behind them, trying to will myself into being invisible. As we walk to the center of the glade, Father’s three goons pull in behind me, making me feel like a prisoner.
“Alpha Shawn!” Melanie says, hurrying over to grab his arm. “So good to see you. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
“Well, we’re in need of some supplies at the house. Can you take care of that for us?”
“Of course!” she answers, leaning against him. “I will see to it personally. Does your luna need any help around the house? She shouldn’t be lowering herself with common duties.”
I stand and stare at Melanie in shock, almost unable to absorb her words. When she turns and gives me a wide, sweet smile, I almost fall straight on my ass.
“You’re very kind,” Shawn says. “Please ask Sara if she wants help with anything. It’s entirely up to her.”
“Whatever you say, Shawn,” she says, fawning at him. “I can call you Shawn, can’t I?”
“Of course,” he says, patting her hand where it rests on his arm.
I look over at Father, expecting him to be furious, but instead, he’s beaming his approval.
The slimy old bastard will use any tactic he can to gain power!
“Careful, Luna,” Bruce says from beside me. “Don’t trip out here in the field. Let me help you.”
He grabs my arm, and I yank it out of his grip, stumbling a little.
“I’m fine,” I snap, my voice coming out harder than I wanted it to.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his face a picture of concern. “I was just trying to help.”
Great! Now he looks like a nice guy, and I look like an unhinged nutcase.
“Yes, dear, be careful,” Melanie says, giving me a steady look. “You wouldn’t want to fall, would you?”
“No,” I say softly. “I wouldn’t. Thank you, Melanie.”
She turns around, going back to fawning over Shawn while Father talks loudly on his other side about how great their partnership will be. Other families approach to have their first meeting with the alpha, and some of the women break away from the main group to come towards me.
I should have expected this. Now that I have power, suddenly everyone wants to be my friend.
As the other women surround me, Father shoots a nasty glare my way over his shoulder. His meaning is clear.
He is still in charge here. At any moment, he could remove me from my place and throw me to his dogs—and not a single person here would stop him.