Chapter 12 - Sara
I slam the bedroom door behind me and stagger over to the bed, falling down heavily and curling myself around a pillow. I don’t even try to hold it back anymore; I just let the ripping sobs come.
That bastard! What kind of game is he playing?
Dancing at the edges of my mind is the beautiful, haunting possibility that he might be genuine. The trouble is, I want to believe in it too much, and I know exactly how badly my heart will get broken if I let myself fall.
Talon was the only truly good man I ever knew, and he was one of a kind. He always stayed true to himself and didn’t compromise. Shawn seems to change personalities depending on who he’s talking to!
The questions he keeps asking disturb me greatly. Why does he care so much about what happened to my grandfather?
Probably just trying to discredit Talon. Putting together evidence against him to justify killing him.
Grief surges in me again as I think of Jess and Talon being cut down by the Eccles warriors. I haven’t seen much of Eccles’ fighting force, but I can tell they are skilled killers. Even though Talon was tough, he wouldn’t have stood a chance against them.
As my sobs begin to die down, Shawn’s questions continue to dance around in my head.
It’s so odd…not just the questions themselves, but the way he bounces from one topic to another.
When my tears finally settle, I tiptoe to the doorway and stick my head out, listening. The sky is fully dark now, and I know it must be getting late. I can’t hear anything, so I assume Shawn is asleep and it’s safe to move around without running into him.
I’ve had enough of him today. I can’t take another round of his insane behavior.
As I go into the bathroom for a shower, I wonder for the first time if he actually is unhinged in some fundamental way.
It would explain a lot, but he also seems so stable. Maybe all crazy people do?
As the hot water relaxes my muscles and my thoughts flow, the tension draining out of me lets me see things a little clearer, and I feel a tight knot of anxiety growing in my guts as I notice inconsistencies for the first time.
Father said Talon wanted to keep us isolated, but Talon used to show me books and magazines and talk about how wonderful it would be to have connections to the human world.
Meanwhile, I’ve heard Father preaching to his friends in town that he will keep us safe within the borders, and no one should ever leave.
The realization is shocking to me, and the more I think about it, the more evidence I find. By the time Talon died, I hadn’t spoken directly to him in a long while, so I just assumed Father was telling the truth.
What if Talon wanted to free us?
I’m almost trembling as I get out of the shower and dry off. It would suit Father just fine to rule the pack in complete isolation, with no outside influence to interfere with his power. I know for a fact he keeps resources to himself and only rarely hands things out as gifts to his chosen.
He can keep his little black-market side business going, so he and his friends are comfortable and keep the others poor and struggling.
As I head back to the bedroom, sorrow grows in me again. This idea makes far too much sense, and it would be the perfect reason for Father to plot Talon’s death.
Especially if Talon really did want to free us. But how did Father get him to attack Eccles?
I curl up in bed, my brain bubbling with so many thoughts, it feels like my skull is on fire. Sleep is a long time coming, and I toss and turn, wrestling with the sheets as I struggle through bad dreams.
***
When I hear Shawn in the kitchen, it’s a relief to get up. The night has left me tired from fighting against my nightmares, but waking is easier than chasing the illusion of restful sleep.
Maybe I’ll never really rest again. Always on guard, on edge, ready for attack.
Miserably, I get dressed and shuffle down the hall. Shawn is whistling to himself as he makes breakfast, smiling at me when I come through the door. He puts a huge plate of pancakes with berries and cream in front of me and pours me a cup of coffee before sitting down himself.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.
“Good morning,” he says. “You don’t look like you slept well. Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I mutter, even though I’m not.
“We’re going into town today, aren’t we? To help repair some buildings and hand out supplies to our less fortunate?”
“Yes,” I answer. “They’re looking forward to meeting you in person. I think some people were invited to the picnic yesterday, but they might not have stayed to meet you.”
“Will your father be around?”
“I expect so.”
Shawn frowns as he tucks into the pancakes, and he looks genuinely annoyed. “I’d really like to talk to the pack without him around.”
“Really?” I scoff a little before cutting into my food. “You look like you get along great.”
I take a bite of the pancakes and close my eyes in amazement as I taste the crispy, fluffy cake.
Okay. The boy can cook. Fucking wow.
“If it looks that way, then good,” he says mysteriously. “That’s exactly what I’m going for.”
The comment confuses me so much, I don’t answer and focus on my food instead. It’s so delicious that I clean my plate in only a few minutes and scrape around for the last of the syrup and cream.
“You liked it?” Shawn asks, grinning happily.
I nod. “Probably the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”
“I can make some more, if you like.”
“No, we should get going. Father and Melanie sleep in a lot, so if we go now, we might get a chance to talk to the others before they arrive.”
While Shawn cleans up and gets ready to leave, I go out to Jess’s garden and put together a few baskets of produce to hand out in town.
Even without anyone to tend to it, the garden is flourishing.
Automatic waterers keep spraying, the covered roof gives just the right amount of sun and shade, and even though the chickens have attacked some of the plants, they’ve also turned the soil and kept the bugs under control.
Just before I leave, I hear a hen clucking the egg song and track her down to a hidden area behind some low shrubs. There is a large collection of eggs stashed, and I take them all.
“Thought you were clever, didn’t you?” I say, pointing at the hen as she struts away. “Trying to hide your eggs from me. You tell your sisters to use the nest box from now on!”
The hen clucks and wanders off, looking for all the world like she’s giving me attitude.
I know damn well they’ll just choose a new hiding spot now—and it will probably be even harder to find!
When I get inside, Shawn helps me load the baskets into a big wheelbarrow. We follow the main street past the common buildings and out onto a little dusty path.
The houses in this area are all in terrible shape, with fallen planks, broken windows, and holes in their walls. Thin, dirt-smudged kids play in the street, stopping to watch us approach.
As Shawn gets closer to the kids, I see pain in his eyes. When he bends down to talk to them, his voice catches in his throat.
This can’t be an act.
Soon, the adults join us, and a lot of them seem nervous to talk to Shawn.
He quickly puts them at ease, handing out produce and talking to them about what they need the most and how he can help them.
He makes a note that they need bedding and basic supplies, as well as clothes and lots of building materials.
“I can bring in all of this from Eccles,” he says to one of the men. “And I can bring in people to labor as well. We can get your houses fixed up in under a week. Do you guys have electricity?”
Some of them shake their heads. Shawn asks for a tour of the place, and I follow along as a small crowd of children gathers around me.
“Are you the new luna?” a little girl asks, tugging on my hand.
I smile down at her. “Yes, sweetheart, I am.”
“Will you bring us cakes? Jess always brought us cakes.”
“I sure can! What cake do you like?”
“Any cake,” the little girl laughs.
“I’ll do you one better,” I say. “You and your friends can come up to the house any time you like. We can sit in the garden, eat cake, and drink cold lemonade while we read books.”
Suddenly, all the kids around me look tense.
“We aren’t supposed to,” one of the kids whispers.
“What?” I ask. “Do what?”
“Go to the alpha’s place,” one of the others mutters under his breath. “He said not to. That the alpha can’t be bothered all the time, or it will make him mad, and then he’ll hurt us.”
“What?” I almost shriek. “Who told you that?”
“Uncle Jack,” the little girl says.
“Who in the—I mean, who is Uncle Jack?”
I’d been about to swear horribly in front of practically every kid in the pack, but I’m so shocked, it was probably the most appropriate use of the F bomb in my entire life.
“Him!” one of the kids says, pointing.
I turn around slowly, and I know what I’m going to see.
My father, coming down the street with a jolly smile on his face. He waves enthusiastically, and the kids wave back.
“Uncle Jack!” the little girl says. “And Aunt Mellie.”
Most of the kids make a beeline for them, and I watch my father talk and joke with the kids, handing out cake and candies.
“You won’t be like Luna Jess or Alpha Talon, will you?” the little girl asks, tugging on my hand a little.
“What do you mean?” I ask, my heart breaking in my chest.
“Uncle Jack said Alpha Talon was bad. That he would get mad at us if we tried to talk to him. Same with our parents. Uncle Jack said only he could talk to Alpha Talon because it wasn’t safe.”
I close my eyes, swallowing down my rage and frustration. The worst thing about this horrible story is that I’m not surprised by it in the slightest.
“No,” I say. “You can always talk to me. Didn’t you say Luna Jess was nice to you?”
“Yeah,” the girl replies. “But Uncle Jack said it was all for show. That she was really nasty underneath, and we couldn’t trust her.”
I bite my lip, looking up at the sky as I try to hold in a scream.
It will do absolutely no good to try to explain things to this poor child!
“I tell you what,” I say, bending down. “How about you and all your friends come up to the house real soon. I want to see you guys at least once a week, maybe even more, and I’ll show you how to take care of the garden, read books, and make cakes.”
I want to give you what Jess gave to me. What she could have given to all of you.
“That sounds nice,” the girl says. “But what about Uncle Jack?”
“Don’t you worry about Uncle Jack,” I say, winking. “He’s my pa!”
“He is?” the girl asks, her eyes wide.
“Yep, he’s my dad. That’s why I’m the new luna—because we want to make things better.”
The little girl looks up at me with wide eyes, as if she’s struggling to believe it. Finally, she throws her arms around my waist and squeezes me tight.
“Thank you!” she says before dashing off to join the others.
I watch the crowd of kids jumping around while Melanie hands out goodies, and some of the mothers join her. I’m interested to know what they’re talking about, but even more interested in where Father has gone.
It doesn’t take me long to find the men gathered by one of the houses.
Father is right in the center, talking about making improvements to the buildings and getting everyone hooked up to electricity and running water.
Shawn stands nearby, his arms folded and his eyes fixed on Father, looking at him with pure admiration.
No one notices me as I join the group, listening to Father carry on about all the great works they can undertake now that they have resources and a new alpha willing to help.
“Wait a minute, Jack,” one of the guys says. “I’m happy we can finally get the place fixed up, but didn’t you tell us how dangerous it was to leave town? How can we let these Eccles guys come in here? They killed Talon.”
“John,” my father says, clapping him firmly on the shoulder. “I spoke to you in detail about Talon’s shortcomings. We needn’t dwell on it now. Alpha Shawn has pledged his loyalty to all of you, and his pack has volunteered resources and labor to help us. I think we should take it.”
“But what about the—”
“John!” Father almost yells. “I’ll talk to you privately about your concerns, okay? Maybe tonight, after I bring you some whiskey and tobacco?”
“Okay,” John says. “We’ll talk about it then.”
Father continues his great speech, and I glare at the back of his head, the flicker of suspicion in me blooming into a towering rage.
What the fuck have you done, Father? Isolation, division, lies, and bribes—where does it fucking end?
Even though he seems to have the group back under control, I look around to find Shawn’s face in the crowd. For just the briefest second, his wide-eyed, open expression darkens, and I see him scowl at my father with pure malice.
Is it possible that Shawn really does care about these people—so much so that he can’t be bought with Father’s bribes?