35. Adam
THIRTY-FIVE
Adam
Adam
He was mine now. And as I took him over and over, it looped in my head with every thrust. Mine.
My Casey. It was intoxicating, knowing he belonged to me now, fully and completely.
With every touch and every kiss, my heart swelled, and I knew I had to tell him how I felt.
I loved him. I had since the day we met.
But just as I worked up the courage to say those words out loud, he fell asleep in my arms.
After I cleaned both of us off, Casey slept beside me for hours. There were things to do. Calls to make. Chores. Cooking. Work. But not yet. Not until he woke up. I wanted him to wake up in my embrace every morning. It was already afternoon when he fell asleep, but the idea was still there.
His belly was soft and warm under my hand. Our passionate affair resulted in a child. Admittedly, I had been a little reckless, despite the circumstances. You would think I knew better after twenty years of near complete abstinence.
My arm tightened around him at the memory.
All those lonely nights, convincing myself I didn’t need anyone, that I’d already had my great love.
How had I gone so long without this? I’d been starving for affection without realizing it.
And then Casey walked in and he changed everything. He changed me.
It wasn’t just the spankings, the dirty talk, or the unbelievably hot sex.
It was him. It was Casey. He made my life better.
Brighter. I’d spent so many years merely existing, and now I looked forward to waking up in the morning because I knew he was just a single text away.
And now I didn’t have to text him. He would be here with me every day.
Just as I was settling back into the curve of his body, my phone buzzed from our pile of clothes on the floor. It had buzzed three times in the past ten minutes. If that was Lane bitching about one of the new trainees, I was going to lose my shit.
Carefully disentangling myself from Casey’s embrace, I set his head on the pillow I’d grabbed from the couch and crawled naked over to my pants. My phone was littered with notifications, from emails to social media replies, but the latest one was a string of texts from… Marshall.
Marshall
Dad.
Can you come outside?
We need to talk.
I’m waiting in the driveway.
I glanced at Casey’s sleeping body, but he hadn’t stirred yet.
He was still fast asleep. Making as little sound as possible, I gathered my clothes from the floor and tiptoed out of the sunroom.
It took me a few minutes to get dressed, and I ducked to check one of the front windows as I pulled my shirt down.
Marshall’s car was in the driveway, and he stood leaning against the hood with a sour look on his face.
I came onto the porch and waved to my son as I crossed the yard, stopping in front of the driveway. “Marshall.” God, this was awkward. “Uhh, Casey said you’d gone back to Hanford.”
“I was going to, but… I have some things to say to you first.” My chest twinged with guilt as I waited for him to speak. “I can’t believe that you would do this to me. Mom would be so angry with you.”
Fuck. I deserved that. I wanted to tell him, but nothing I said right now would matter, not until he got it all off his chest.
“Son,” I started, and he cut me off with a grunt.
“No, don’t ‘son’ me. I can forgive Casey for this.
I knew he never really loved me. He had two feet out the door when you met him, but you?
You knew he was special to me. You knew I wanted to propose.
And scent matches or not, you took him from your own son.
I know you couldn’t help yourself. I know it wasn’t in your control to resist, but fuck Dad…
you could’ve at least given me the courtesy of stealing him out in the open rather than hiding it behind my back.
You got him pregnant, Dad.” He broke off with another frustrated growl, clasping his hands behind his neck as he turned away.
He was so angry. I’d never seen him so upset.
He was also yelling loud enough that everyone on the street was going to know our business.
“Son,” I tried again, reaching for his hands when he started clenching his fists.
“Son.” Marshall met my eyes with hot, angry tears streaming down his face.
“I hurt you. I am so so sorry for that. You’re right.
I couldn’t resist my pull to Casey, but that’s no excuse.
I knew it was wrong, and I told myself I was protecting my relationship with you, but I was only protecting myself from the thought of losing you.
After what happened between us before… I was afraid I’d lose you forever.
You and your brother matter more to me than anything else.
I…” I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and fought back my own tears as his continued streaming down his face.
“You can hate me for what I’ve done to you. But please don’t hate Casey.”
“I don’t hate Casey. It’s not just about him either.
Before I left for medical school…” He paused, gathering his thoughts as he swiped his wet cheek.
“I shouldn’t have told you I wanted to work with you.
You’ve been so lonely ever since Mom died.
I thought that telling you I wanted to join the business meant you’d be happier. ”
I blinked away the sting in my eyes. “I never felt lonely.”
“But you were. David and I saw it every single day. The day I told you I wanted to learn landscaping, you looked so happy. I’ve never seen you like that.
When you helped me plant a tree or taught me how to properly lay sod, you were so proud of me.
I resented you for that. I thought… I convinced myself that you would only be proud if I turned out like you.
But I wanted to be a surgeon, Dad. I wanted you to be proud of me, no matter what. ”
My own son thought I wasn’t proud of him. That failing was worse than the fresh pain that still stung his eyes.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like I wasn’t proud of you. I don’t care if you’re a landscaper, or a surgeon, or a guy who makes sandwiches at Quiznos. I will always be proud of you.”
Scoffing, he turned his head away, staring off at the house across the street as another tear rolled down his cheek. He sighed deeply, and the anger slowly left his body. “I know that. I’ve always known. I was just too hurt to see it. I blamed you, and that wasn’t fair.”
“I hurt you. It’s plenty fair.”
He laughed dryly, and a ghost of a smile played on his lips. “I could’ve lived without you knocking up my boyfriend, though.”
“Ahh, we’re making jokes already? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”
We chuckled, and the air went silent again as his smile faded.
“I love you, Dad. I do. I just need time to not be angry with you.”
“I love you, son. Take all the time you need.”
He fussed with his keys as he turned back to the car. “Tell Casey I’m fine.”
“I will.”
Giving me one final look, Marshall got into his car and backed out of the driveway. The pain in his eyes had eased just slightly before he was gone.
Sighing, I glanced at the houses across the street and noticed more than a few curtains shifting as my neighbors tried to pretend they weren’t snooping in on our conversation. Well, they’d already heard everything. The Wilson family drama was sure to be the talk of the town in about twenty minutes.
I turned back to the house and stared at the concrete where Marshall’s car had sat.
It hurt to hear everything he’d said, but there was a sense of relief to finally clear the air with my son after so long.
I hoped he knew I meant it when I said I was proud of him.
And I hoped he would be okay before he was ready to come home again.
Giving a slight nod to my next-door neighbor, who was absolutely snooping through her window, I went back inside and stripped to only my skin before going back to the sunroom. I slid under the blanket and settled myself into the curve of Casey’s body.
Marshall was right. I had carried pain with me all this time. Pain and aching loneliness. I didn’t feel that way anymore. I touched Casey’s cheek, stroking him softly so I wouldn’t wake him up. The small touch had the opposite effect. Moaning, he wiggled slightly, on the verge of waking up.
“Go back to sleep,” I urged. “No one needs us. You can rest.”
“Mmm,” he groaned. “My nipples hurt. It’s all your fault.” He twisted in my arms and tucked his head under my chin. “You look like you’re deep in thought.”
I leisurely stroked his back. “I didn’t realize how lonely I was before we met. I told myself I was content with being alone. Now I can’t even imagine my life without you.”
“Twenty years is a long time to be by yourself.” A shiver rushed over me when he pressed his lips to the sensitive skin of my neck. He’d left several bite marks there, almost as many as I left on him. “What did you do for your ruts? I can’t imagine you suffering by yourself.”
“A heat bar two towns over. Anonymous sex with dulled senses is almost worse than ignoring my rut. But I had two Alphas to take care of. It would’ve been irresponsible of me to risk a pheromone imbalance.
Even so, every time I felt my cycle coming, I tried to convince myself it wasn’t worth the meaningless sex, but my ruts have always been intense.
They can’t be quelled on their own.” Casey tensed, and I tightened my arms around him.
“You’ll be there for my ruts. I won’t have one without you. ”
He chuckled and slowly relaxed against me. “You remember everything I tell you.”
“I very clearly remember your worthless ex spending his ruts with someone else. Of all the crimes he committed against you, that one is almost the worst.”
“Ahh, only almost.”
“The worst one was making you feel like you had no value. If I ever meet your ex, that will be the reason he ends up in the hospital.” Just thinking about it filled me with unquenchable rage. The delicate scent of Casey’s rainy pheromones was the only thing keeping me sane.
“Don’t you dare go to jail over that piece of shit. I’m not raising our baby alone.”
The rage eased, but tension settled in my belly all the same.
I sat up and rested my hand on Casey’s stomach.
I would do anything to keep both of them safe.
“Fine. You win.” I kissed his belly, giving him soft, gentle kisses where my baby grew.
“If you’re not going to sleep, we are going to the clinic to get you checked out. ”
Grunting, he tossed his arm over his eyes to block out the sunlight. “I don’t want to.”
He was afraid. The tension in his body was a clear giveaway. After so many years believing this day would never come, it was only natural for him to fear he made a mistake, that the tests were wrong.
“Casey.” My firm tone had him peeking out from underneath his arm. “No matter what the doctor says, I’m not leaving. You belong to me now. Do you understand?” His slight nod had me raising an eyebrow, the only warning he would get before I punished him.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good boy.”