5. Selene
Chapter 5
Selene
I am sore.
Everything hurts.
I should have healed by now, but because I haven't been feeding, all of my vampire abilities have slowed down. My entire being is fueled by consuming human blood, and when I gave that up for squirrels and rabbits, I also gave up many of my supernatural powers.
I gave up my strength, my strong senses, and my ability to heal almost immediately after injury.
My healing has slowed to less than half my usual levels. Without even the animal blood, I was healing like a human, which was bad.
When Annie had come in from her shift, she had been so worried to see me all bloodied and bruised.
“What the hell happened to you, and why didn’t you call me?”
Annie was a trauma nurse in the local hospital, so she could obviously tell that I had been hurt. That dumb robbery story was all my muddled brain could come up with.
Everything I had been building in this town, my new life, it was all coming down around me.
Maybe this was the sign I needed to leave once and for all. I thought that coming back here would help keep me safe from my family, but I had not counted on the werewolves’ murderous threats.
No one had come back after my parents died over twenty years ago.
I didn’t think anyone would recognize me. Let alone know about me.
I guess I was wrong.
The door creaks open, and Annie slips in. “Okay, sorry about that. I was talking to the attending doctor. She is going to see you in a little bit.”
Then she takes my hand in hers, “God, you are so cold. I am so sorry this happened to you!”
Damn it! This injury has me messed up. Usually, I use all my energy and food to create the fa?ade of an actual human being, which means I have a heartbeat and a pulse and body heat that I control.
I do everything I can to pass as a human.
But drained of blood, I am turning back to my true self.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
“It’s a cold night. Seriously, Annie, I’m fine. Let’s just go home.”
“Nonsense. Your lips are blue.”
I didn’t notice. I’ve been holding my breath because this whole place reeks of blood, and I’m trying to avoid anything that could trigger my thirst. I have no intention of attacking a human.
“I don’t have insurance,” I divert.
“I talked to the doctor. She owes me a favor, so she will see you off the books, but you have to keep it quiet,” she whispers.
Oh, shit!
They are going to discover something is wrong with me and then behead me right in this hospital bed.
I knew I was having a bad day, but... this is totally worse.
She must see the panic on my face because she brushes my bangs away from my eyes. “Don’t worry about it, hun. I will make sure you get the best care, and then I’ll take you home.”
That is exactly what I’m afraid of.
“Okay,” I say, trying to come up with a plan. “Could you help me to the bathroom, please?”
“Of course, Selene,” she says as she helps me get up from the bed. Even my limbs are not working great.
I’m hoping that in the bathroom, I’ll find a way to climb out of the window so that I can leave the building. I’m even ready to call Levi and surrender to the family ways.
Anything is better than this constant fear.
“Just call out if you need anything,” Annie says.
“Sure thing.”
The moment the door clicks shut, I start looking around for a way out. Unfortunately, all the windows are barred shut, and with my arms feeling like noodles, there is no way I am going to be able to rip them apart and climb out.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter. I look around the bathroom and nothing.
My ribs and chest feel like they’re on fire.
My skin feels hot to the touch. Am I getting a fever?
What the hell is going on with me? I have never stayed off blood this long, and I am almost scared to find out what will happen if I stay here any longer.
I take a minute to steady my nerves. I can only think when I am calm. The moment I stop pacing, I am bombarded by the scent of blood, and this one is closer than before.
Then I realize that this bathroom is shared with the room next door. I sneak over to the next room. It’s just been used and hasn’t been cleaned up yet.
Saliva pools in my mouth.
It smells like decaying blood but it will have to do.
Where the hell is it?
I follow the faint scent to the red waste bin for blood and other fluids. It is next to the bathroom, and I hate myself even as I get on my knees and start to rummage.
If my family could see me now…
If Annie could...
Aha! I wrap my fingers around a blood bag that has been discarded here. It is mostly empty, but there is some blood still in it. I grab it and rush back into the bathroom before I am caught.
I am almost feral as I tear through the pouch, licking every single drop I can find.
I feel my chest cave and then burst into flame as a renewed vigor rushes through me.
“Everything okay in there?” Annie asks from the other side of the door.
“Mmmh!” I groan with my tongue still lapping at the bag.
Even as I swallow, I know that this is a mistake. My decision to stop drinking human blood was difficult. It took years to wean myself off of it. And now, as it settles deep in my bones, I can’t remember why I ever stopped.
Once the bag is completely dry, I toss it into the trash.
I can feel all my senses return to normal as I right myself, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
I watch as the cuts and bruises that Mia inflicted on me begin to heal.
I feel my broken ribs begin to mend.
I feel reborn.
I also feel Annie pacing on the other side of the door as she waits, worrying.
I am almost heady with the need to drink more human blood, but I steady myself.
Instead, I fake a heartbeat, forcing that old, tired muscle back to work.
Then I slap my cheeks a little to bring color back to them. Once I am satisfied, I rinse my mouth with sink water to take away the smell of blood before opening the door.
“There you…” Annie begins but stops mid-sentence.
I know that I look like a completely different person than I was a couple of minutes ago.
I am more myself now than I have ever been.
“What is it?” I fake a smile.
“You look… I swear I must be crazy, but you look healed.” I watch as the corner of her mouth works into a small crease. She cocks her eyebrow in confusion.
“I told you I was doing fine…”
“But…”
“I’m okay, Annie. This is what I was trying to tell you. I had taken some Tylenol before you got home, and I was waiting for it to kick in. Now that it has, I’m feeling much better. I’m good to go.”
“Selene…” she runs a hand through her cropped wavy hair. “Are you sure you are okay?”
I know I have to trick her into believing me, but what other option do I have? I need to get out of this place as soon as possible.
If I stay here any longer, I might pull her in and tear into that stupid carotid artery that keeps pumping freaking blood through her body, and despite me being a monster, I don’t want to hurt her. Annie is actually nice.
“Listen, why should you use up that favor the doctor owes you if you can skip it altogether and use it when you need it? There could be a shift you need to skip…”
I can see the moment her eyes begin computing my suggestion. “But I just need to make sure…”
I take her hand in mine, holding my breath so I cannot smell her blood pulsing through her veins.
She flinches at the warmth emanating from my skin now.
I am way too good at pretending to be human.
“Are you really okay?”
“Yes. I think you were in shock, Annie. I know I was, too. It made everything seem worse, but I am feeling much better now. I think I need to go home and get some rest. I have to work tomorrow.”
“But it is Saturday…”
“I was asked to tutor some of the students who got detention. You know summer classes are still in session.”
“Right, right,” she nods. “I swear these long-ass shifts are messing with my brain a little bit.”
“I get it. You are a little sleep-deprived.”
She yawns once. “Uh-huh.”
“Then, let’s go home and get some rest. We both need it. What do you say?”
She doesn’t argue anymore; she just leads me out of the hospital room. She apologizes to the nurse and doctor on duty, saying it was all a mistake; she overreacted. And finally, we make our way to the parking lot.
I offer to drive us home but she insists on driving because I need to recover. I can’t really argue since the car is hers, so I oblige her.
She is still a little unsure as she watches me from the corner of her eye, but as soon as I turn on the radio and start singing along, she relaxes a little.
This act is for her benefit because deep inside, I am freaking out. I just had blood for the first time in a really long time, and now I am not sure how I am going to stop.
And I haven’t forgotten about Mia’s pack and the mysterious guy who took her body. They’ll probably be coming after me.
I am hoping I survive the summer.
As soon as we step through the door, Annie heads straight for her room and collapses onto her bed like a sack of potatoes. She’s out like a light, and I can’t blame her. It’s been a long night, and she’s not exactly a vampire like me. I, on the other hand, am left pacing the house.
Little did I know, she brought home a whole wardrobe that reeked of blood. With that, and my bloody clothes from earlier, the metallic scent hangs in the air, taunting me. I can feel the thirst gnawing at me, clawing for attention. For months, I’ve been resisting it, trying to convince myself I don’t need to drink human blood, but tonight is pushing me to my limits.
I bag up my bloody clothes and lock myself in my bedroom, not daring to be around Annie in this state. My fangs ache, and my throat feels dry. The temptation is like a beast inside me, urging me to give in. But I can’t. I won’t hurt Annie.
I pace back and forth, restless. Maybe I should head to the State Forest and try to hunt some small game to quench this thirst. But my mind is too agitated, too filled with the fear of what might happen if I come upon a human. There are also rumors of wolves lurking in that forest, which only add to my unease.
I sit on the edge of my bed, running my fingers through my hair. “Come on, Selene, get a grip. You can’t lose control now,” I mutter to myself.
But the hunger claws at me, tearing at my resolve. I can’t stay cooped up in this room forever. I need a plan, an escape. Dayton, Ohio sounds good. A fresh start where no one could track me. But can I really leave everything behind?
I hear Annie’s soft snores from the other side of the door. She’s safe for now. I take a deep breath, trying to clear my mind. “Think, Selene. Think.”
My heart is thundering.
I can’t stay here. Leaving town suddenly feels like the only option. I grab a bag, throwing in some essentials.
My mind races with thoughts of escape, but the hunger claws at me relentlessly.
I peek out of my bedroom. Annie is still out cold. Good.
I can slip away without her knowing.
I tiptoe to the door ever so quietly. Then I stop.
I really need to think this through. What if Mia’s pack comes back and finds Annie instead of me? She was so nice to me. She is one of the only friends I have, and I don’t want anything to happen to her because of me.
I will not have that on my conscience.
I already cost one person their life today; I am not adding another to my list.
I slowly make my way to my bedroom and bide my time, waiting for the morning.