Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Maisy
I can’t believe I actually did it. I asked my crush on a date. And he said yes!
I never could’ve done it, but being with him is so…easy. I feel so relaxed.
Except now that I’ve done it, I realize what I’ve done.
“You would?” Inexplicably, my eyes fill with tears, and I blink them back. Why in the hell would I feel like crying when the man I’ve been fantasizing about since I was a teen said he’d like to go on a date with me?
It doesn’t even make sense, but I often feel that way about my body. “Really?”
“Of course.” He’s still holding my hand, and I realize I’m squeezing the shit out of it.
I release him with a squeak.
I’m suddenly beyond embarrassed. Too much emotion–emotion I don’t even understand–floods me. Waves of excitement, heat, and power seem to cook me in their juices. It’s too much. I look over the side of the Ferris wheel. Would it be possible to launch myself right off the side?
Matthias corrals me closer with an arm around my shoulders, as if he guesses at my intention to flee. He’s so warm, I want to burrow into him like he’s a big blanket and never leave.
“Dinner?” he suggests.
Panic eclipses all my other emotions. “Uhh.” I’m imagining myself at a restaurant with him, trying to make conversation while not spilling anything on myself.
“Or a hike.”
Relief floods me. I can handle a hike. It’ll be chill and private. I want to go to a candlelit dinner, but I’m not sure I’m ready for it.
It feels safer to go off somewhere private.
And it’ll mean we won’t have the town gossiping about us.
Maybe it’ll be better for him not to be seen with me. It’s possible this sort of date keeps us in the friend-zone.
But that’s okay.
That’s totally fine.
The point is, I dared to ask my long-time crush on a date, and he accepted.
I can cross off one of my New Year’s resolutions. It doesn’t matter how the actual date goes. Baby steps. I’m moving forward toward becoming the person I want to become.
This year, I’m determined to crawl out of the shadows of my charismatic grandmother and gorgeous best friend. I may not be ready to shout to the world about my future plans but… baby steps.
“Sure. A hike sounds great. Just us…alone.” I press my lips together to keep from rambling. I don’t want him to think I want to get him alone to…do stuff. Just because I fantasize about ripping his clothes off doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.
Matthias studies my face, which makes me want to throw myself over the side of the ride again.
My phone rings in my purse. Saved by the bell.
I pull out my phone, but when I see the number I send it to voicemail. A few seconds later, the phone starts ringing again. I send it to voicemail again.
“Are you dodging someone’s calls?” Matthias’s smooth brow furrows.
The familiar sick feeling I get every time I see my dad’s number pop up swirls in my belly. Like grease in mud water.
“Oh, uh, no. I mean, it’s nothing. Not important. I’m not taking it.”
“Who is it?” Matthias’ voice suddenly takes on that authoritative ring that makes me turn to mush. The tone he used on me in the clinic.
I’m going to need to hear a yes, Matthias.
To which my body answers: Yes, Matthias. God, yes!
“Uh…” I freeze. My parents are a source of great shame. Daisy doesn’t like me to talk about them. She was able to keep my dad from only seeing me on supervised visits until I was eighteen, but now he can reach out directly to me, and I’m torn.
“Is someone bothering you, Maisy?” The deep, protective timbre of Matthias’ voice makes me swoon.
“It’s, um…” I realize I don’t owe him any information, even if he is the object of my crush. So I grow a backbone and say, “It’s personal.”
Daisy would appreciate that answer. She doesn’t want people to know there’s something sordid in her family.
Of course, she still grieves my mom’s tragic foray into drug addiction that eventually led to her death.
I would say I do, too, but honestly, coming to Bad Bear Mountain to live with Daisy at age five was the best thing that happened to me, so I guess I believe everything happened for a reason.
Matthias nods. “Of course. I didn’t mean to intrude.” His gaze lingers on me, like despite his soothing words, he’s still waiting for an answer.
I swallow. “My dad usually reaches out when he wants money,” I admit. “He says he wants me to visit him for my birthday next month, but it’s probably a lie just to get me talking to him again. So I’ve been dodging his calls.”
Matthias’ face darkens, but he doesn’t look shocked. It’s almost like he already knew I had a deadbeat dad. Or it doesn’t faze him.
“And you don’t want to block him because he’s your dad,” he fills in.
I nod miserably.
“Oh, beautiful.” Matthias’ arm is still around the back of the seat, and he uses it to give me a side hug.
Every time he calls me beautiful, my pussy clenches, and my panties grow damp.
I mean, it must mean something, right?
It can’t be something he calls all his patients. Or even all the women in his life. I mean…beautiful? It’s an endearment.
And God, do I want to be his dear one. The thought practically makes me dizzy.
“That’s hard.”
His sympathy chokes me up. Because my parents are a topic I can’t discuss with anyone–not even with Missy–getting it out and having someone else greet the news with compassion makes tears burn behind my eyes.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I have no expectations of him at all.”
“What does Daisy say about it?”
“I can’t tell her.” I sigh. “She gets upset about the way he manipulates me.”
“So you’re carrying this alone.”
“Yeah.”
Matthias holds out his hand. “Give me your phone.”
I hand it to him before I realize what I’m doing. It’s so easy to follow his orders.
He pulls up my dad’s number. I haven’t saved it, probably because I don’t want to see his name. I don’t want him in my life.
Matthias holds my gaze with his dark brown eyes as he presses the button to block the number.
Suddenly, I feel a hundred pounds lighter. I sigh, feeling my tense shoulders relax. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” He further unnerves me by leaning over and kissing the top of my head.
Is that…a fatherly kiss? Or something different?
A child below us starts crying, frightened by the stopped ride, and the Ferris wheel suddenly lurches back into motion. It’s almost as if the attendant was just waiting for someone to really complain. Or as if it had been stopped on purpose.
Wait…Oh God. Daisy probably arranged for this to happen!
I love my grandma dearly, but she is way too up in my business.
“Oh good. We’re not stranded,” I say to fill space. To change the topic from my dad.
“Yes.” Matthias sits back in his seat and, tragically, withdraws his arm from around me.
Awkward.
I inhale his scent. It’s wild and woodsy with a sophisticated edge of expensive cologne. I hope the scent lingers on my clothes.
As soon as our Ferris wheel car reaches the platform, I’m clambering out of the seat. The car rocks a little, and Matthias takes my arm to steady me.
“Easy, beautiful.” He ends up helping me out. His big hand rests on my back, and I sigh with how right it feels.
“Thanks,” I murmur. Luckily, Daisy has made herself scarce. I don’t want her here grilling Matthias and me on our ride together. She’s been better about getting involved in my business, but today proves she’s not above contriving situations to make sure I’m alone with my crush.
“Anytime.” Matthias brushes a strand of hair back from my cheek. “When did you change your hair?”
“Um, last week. Missy helped me dye it.”
“It looks beautiful.” His eyes crinkle at me as he smiles, and it’s like the sun is shining on me.
“Maisy!” A cheery voice calls, but I can’t drag my eyes away from Matthias until my best friend runs up to me.
“Dr. Matthias, hey.” Missy tosses her blonde hair over her shoulder. She doesn’t try to flirt, but she doesn’t need to try. She’s effortlessly gorgeous, and years of theater and beauty pageant training means she’s always unconsciously posing for an audience.
“Hello, Missy,” Matthias greets her. I try not to notice how good they look together. The two most beautiful people on Bad Bear Mountain. “I didn’t know you were back in town.”
“I came back for the holidays.” Missy beams. “Hollywood is amazing, but it’s so nice to be home.” She flutters her long eyelashes, as if inviting him to ask about her budding actress career.
“There’s no place like Bad Bear,” Matthias says then switches his attention to gaze down at me. “What did the wave say to the shore?”
It takes me a second to realize he’s telling another dad joke.
“Sea you later.” His deep voice makes the silly joke the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. I feel like I have a fever, except it feels good.
He’s reminding me of our date.
“Yes, Matthias.” I use his name as instructed. “Text me the details?”
“I will.” His eyes flash with a blue light, and he dips his head towards me. “‘Til then, Maisy.” With a nod to Missy, he leaves.
“Bye,” I whisper, feeling warm and happy inside, like I just drank the best hot chocolate. I can’t believe I have an inside joke with Dr. Matthias.
“Oh my goddess,” Missy turns to me with her eyes wide. “Did you just have a moment with Dr. Matthias?” Her voice is so loud, I feel like everyone can hear.
“Shhh.” I wrap my arm around her and hustle her away to find some privacy. She’ll want to know what just happened, and I need to verbally process. “I’ll tell you everything. Just not in the middle of town.”
“You better,” Missy says, and I can’t help giggling.
I have a date. With Matthias! For once, everything is going my way.
Matthias
I’m going on a date with Maisy. My mate.
I am so fucked.
I’ve also never been happier.
After I left Winterfest, I texted her to set the date for tomorrow. Sundays the cafe closes early, so she’ll be free. At three pm, we’ll meet at the head of Bad Bear Trail and hike to the overlook.