Chapter 11 #2
“Okay, husband,” she giggles.
It’s a game to her. A joke. That’s good. I can’t tell her the truth about what she means to me. About all the dirty, devious things I want to do to her.
Maisy
He’s holding my hand, his large fingers wrapped around mine like a protective bear daddy.
Except I want him to transition from daddy-bear to bear lover.
I want him to kiss me the way he did last night.
Like he wanted to consume me. Like I was his reason to live. Not that I mind the daddy-bear energy.
I find any man who’s older and highly competent hot.
At least that’s what I told myself when I started lusting after Matthias as a teenager. I was fifteen when I went through puberty–a late bloomer. Still am, I guess, considering I just had my first date and kiss at age twenty-two. Who knew it would also come the same week I got married?
The Universe works in mysterious ways, I guess.
“Wait,” he says. “We’re forgetting something.” Still holding my hand, he leads me to a small building next to the infinity pool.
The tile work in the pool area is incredible. The colorful mosaic reminds me of an ancient Roman bathhouse, but it’s blue and green and shimmery like a mermaid’s tail.
Matthias goes to a cabinet beside the bar and opens it to reveal a hundred different types of sunscreen.
“Wow, this place is well-stocked.”
“Lucius is old-fashioned. It’s important to him to be a good host.” He pulls out a bottle of sunscreen and squirts a bunch in his hand. “Lube up, beautiful.”
I bite my tongue. Don’t make a dirty joke. “Right. Sunscreen is important.”
Matthias starts rubbing the lotion onto his muscled chest, and it’s like porn. All I can do is stand and stare.
Don’t think about that…think about something else. Something not sexy.
“Skin cancer,” I blurt.
Matthias quirks a brow at me.
“It’s bad,” I say because apparently being around my new husband makes me lose brain cells. I draw in a breath and exhale. “That’s why we wear sunscreen.” I focus on applying sunscreen all over.
“You’ve missed some spots.” He turns me to him and rubs tiny amounts of lotion onto my nose and forehead. His touch is so gentle, but by the time he’s done I’m breathing hard. “And…I think, right here.” His fingertip points a splotch of lotion between my breasts.
We both look at it.
Is he afraid to touch me there? Isn’t he a doctor? And my husband? I mean…no reason to be shy.
I play dumb. “Where?”
His eyes meet mine, and he quirks a brow. It’s a stern one–like he knows I’m misbehaving and is giving me a chance to reconsider.
Mmm. Bear-daddy wants to spank me. I recall how he seemed turned on when I called him sir.
Maybe he’s kinky, just like the heroes of my romance novels. As a twenty-two-year-old virgin who’s never been kissed, I’ve had a lot of time to read. And imagine…things.
Butterfly wings flap in my belly.
Oh my God, I would die if he were kinky. As if he isn’t already five-alarm-fire hot to me.
He brings the tips of his fingers to the dollop of sunscreen between my breasts and brushes it sideways, onto my boob.
I hold perfectly still, waiting, hoping he’ll continue.
“Did you get all along your bikini line?” His voice sounds thick. Raspy. Almost pained.
My pussy clenches. My pulse flutters at my throat.
“Um…no.” My voice sounds breathy.
But then he becomes the buttoned-down doctor. He takes the lotion bottle from me and squirts some onto his fingers then applies it all along my side boob. Or inner boob. Whatever that part is called. His fingers sweep under the triangle bikini top, but in sure, business-like strokes.
Still, it turns me on, and I drag my lower lip through my teeth and bite back a groan. I’m pretty sure I just soaked the gusset of the bikini.
Matthias’ nostrils flare. A muscle in his jaw jumps. His eyes flash blue. Then, suddenly, like at the altar, and the party bus, he changes. He slides his entire hand inside my bikini top, squeezing my breast roughly as he backs me against the wall of the pool house.
I gasp, shocked.
He grips my nape, and his lips crash down on mine. I cling to his forearms, kissing him back.
He pulls and rolls my nipple between his fingers at the same time his tongue lashes into my mouth.
It’s so delicious. So impassioned. Everything I ever dreamed about with Matthias.
I whimper, my knees buckling.
“Bad girl.” His voice is a growl as he pinches my nipple a little harder. “You shouldn’t tease the bear.”
“Oh!” I cry out at the sensation. It only hurts a little, but it surprises me. His reaction surprises me.
He instantly breaks the kiss, and I stare up at him with wide eyes.
His eyes glow laser blue. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, looking semi-feral. “Turn around.” It’s an order, dark and commanding.
More flutters ignite in my tummy.
I slowly turn away from him.
“Hands on the wall.”
Oh. My. Gawd. I let out an inner scream of excitement.
This is really happening. Sexy times with my bear-doctor. My bear-daddy. The man who’s occupied every single fantasy for the last seven years of my life. The only man I’ve ever thought about when I touch myself.
His hand claps down on my ass, and I jump, giving a little scream. I was hoping for more spanking, but he tortures me by only rubbing lotion across my back in long relaxing strokes.
I push my ass out and wiggle my hips a little. Maybe he’ll spank me again.
He squirts more sunscreen into his palm and slides his hands down the sides of my lower back, then dips both hands into my bikini bottom and circles my bare ass.
I cream my bikini. I want to put my fingers between my legs and touch myself because my pussy’s throbbing, but he growls, “Now me” in that same deep commanding voice.
He hands me the sunscreen he’s using, one that’s specially formulated for black skin. It smells amazing.
“Ummm, I can’t reach.”
“That’s right, shorty.” He smirks down at me, then sits on a stool. Why is everything he does so effortlessly sexy? I’m dying here.
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized,” I quip.
His chuckle fills the room. “Does that make me family-sized?”
Whatever you do, do NOT think about having a family with him.
“No, you’re perfect,” I say before I think. “That is, uh, I mean, perfect for reaching things on the top shelf.”
I’m a dork. There’s no hope.
But Matthias seems to like it.
I attempt to survive gliding my hands up and down his beautiful back muscles to coat them with sunscreen. I rub the defined V at the base of his spine and he lets out a low rumble that feels like a mini-earthquake under my palms. I snatch my hands back, afraid I annoyed him somehow.
“Careful, love,” Matthias warns. My bear likes you touching him.”
I get a glimpse of the tent at the front of his shorts and realize that the man likes it, too.
I head straight to the pool, but Matthias grabs my hand. “We have to wait fifteen minutes before we get in the water for the sunscreen to work.” He guides me to the lounge chair in the sunroom.
I spread my towel and lay down but am immediately uncomfortable.
How can I look sexy with my boobs sliding into my armpits?
I shift, so my arms prop up my boobs, but I must look like a wooden soldier.
And now I realize Matthias has been watching me probably this whole time.
I stretch my arms out and over my head and pretend to yawn.
Super smooth. “I guess we should talk about my dad.”
“We don’t have to.”
I sigh. “No, I want to know what’s going on.” What better time and place for this, than lounging in a bougie sunroom on a gorgeous sunny day?
“My brothers are trying to track him, but he’s disappeared. He hasn’t shown up to his apartment. We think he’s on the run from Lucky Lou.”
Lucky Lou. My father, Allen, tried to sell me in marriage to a man named Lucky Lou. How much more sordid can the story get?
I look around me. I’m currently living my inspiration board, so maybe there is something lucky about Lou.
“When we find him, do you want to talk to him?”
This feels like a loaded question. “Do I want to talk to the drunk who has caused me nothing but grief?
“I don’t know. I just don’t understand why he did this. I…used to want a relationship with him.”
““You have a kind heart.”
“I guess, I always thought one day he’d wake up and realize he had a daughter. That he’d want me.”
“Nothing your dad does is about you or your worth. He’s a long-time drug user. That sort of abuse causes damage to the frontal cortex. And if he’s ever overdosed, he might have sustained a brain injury. ”
“I know. That’s how my mom died.” I bite my lip. “Sorry, I’m ruining our honeymoon.”
He scoots closer, so our thighs are touching, and takes my hand. He’s touching me more and more, and I love it.
What’s more, I need it.
“You could never do that. I’m honored you’re sharing with me.”
I brush at my eyes. I’m not crying, just…a little emotional. “I’m sure patients do that a lot. Dump on you,” I say briskly.
“Not really. I think I intimidate people. That’s why I wear glasses–they remind me to put on my bedside manner.”
“I was wondering what happened to your glasses. They’re not prescription?”
“No, they’re props.”
I let out a chuff of laughter and imagine him putting on his glasses before entering a patient’s room. “Like Clark Kent. You’re Superman.”
Shaking his head, he pulls me up and leads me out to the pool, effectively avoiding the subject.
But I don’t drop it. Once I get in the pool, I swim around a bit. The water must be heated, and the winter sun is warm in Las Vegas, so it feels nice.
Matthias does a few laps, and I get to watch his giant body move sleekly through the water, fast as an Olympic athlete. Eventually he resurfaces, shakes the water out of his face, and finds a spot near me to lounge.
“You are like Superman, you know,” I tell him.“You came to my rescue. As soon as I saw you in that hotel room, I knew I was safe.”
“You are safe,” he says. “I’ll never let anyone touch you again.”
“You slept beside me last night.”
He looks away. “I wasn’t going to let you out of my sight. I shouldn’t have–”
“No, I’m glad.” I swim close to him.
A muscle jerks in his cheek. He doesn’t lean away from me, but his whole body is tense. “I’m too old for you.”
I blink. Is he trying to shut me down? But no–I know he’s attracted to me. He wouldn’t have kissed me the way he did if he didn’t feel the same way I do.
“I don’t care how old you are. I wanted to go on a date with you.” I take a risk and keep sharing. “I never thought in a million years I’d get to. But on this year’s New Year’s resolutions I wrote “go on a date,” and I imagined going with you. I know you might not feel that way about me–”
“I do,” he interrupts. For some reason, he looks unhappy about it, though. Instead of us both rejoicing that we’re mutually interested, he’s acting like it’s a problem.
“Maisy, like I said last night, I want you.”
“Oh. That’s…good, right?”
“No.”
I wait, but he doesn’t go on.
“It’s good,” I insist.
That muscle in his jaw works again. “I’m too ol–”
“You’re not too old for me.”
“I play rough in bed. I’m a bear, Maisy. You’re human. You’re young and innocent. Fuck, you’d never been kissed before last night.”
Hurt lances through my chest. Still, I cling to his admission like I did last night–he wants me.
I want him, too. I just have to convince him I’m not as young and innocent as he thinks I am.
“I know you’re used to women who are more experienced, but–”
“It’s not that,” he cuts in. “Maisy, I’m dangerous.”
I lift my chin. “Not to me.”
“Especially to you.”
I think about the past twelve hours. How he’s taken charge. Protected me at all costs.
Back in Bad Bear, he’s friendly but guarded. What he told me about wearing fake glasses makes me think he’s playing a role. And not to manipulate anyone but to protect us. Even around his family, he’s always holding something back. Always in control.
What would it be like to make him lose control?
These are bad girl thoughts, but… I want to be a bad girl. I almost died for frick’s sake. Isn’t it time I ask for what I want?
Instead of asking, I reach out and brush some water droplets off of his shoulder. The muscle bulges under my palm. “You don’t scare me.”
“Careful,” he rumbles. “I bite.” He flashes a quick grin, showing white teeth. His canines look a bit longer than usual. Is that his bear?
“You won’t hurt me.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
I think about the spank he gave me. The way he pinched my nipple. Is that the kind of hurt he means?
“Maybe I want…that.” I slide my hands down his sides to rest on his hips. I’m being bold.
“What do you want?”
I lick my lips.
He stares at them like he wants to kiss me again.
Why have we wasted so much time not kissing?
I rise to tiptoe. He’s so much taller than me–broader, everything, I have to pull him down to meet me, but he leans down willingly.
“I want you to be my first,” I whisper against his lips.
His breath gusts against my mouth, and then he hauls me up in his arms, and we kiss like we need the air in each other’s lungs to survive.
He holds me up like I weigh nothing. I’ve never felt small or petite, but I do with him. He makes me feel sexy, and it makes me brave. I hang onto his shoulders and rub myself against his washboard abs. Grinding on him. My hips move naturally. I dig my nails into his back, moaning into his mouth.
I’m out of control, wild.
“Maisy…we can’t.”
“I want to, Matthias,” I cup his face. “When those men grabbed me, I was afraid I might die, and the one thing I knew was that I didn’t want to die without this. Without being with you. I’m not dying a virgin. And I definitely want my first time to be with you. Teach me.”
“Fuck,” Matthias curses, his eyes electric blue. He yanks my bikini top down, baring my breasts. “You asked for this.”