Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
ANNIKA
Occasionally, I’m swept up in the feeling of adolescent guilt. My parents swear up and down that they are happy about my decision to move up here, but the look on their faces when we parted ways after moving in replays in my head.
My mom and I have a standing Saturday morning call where we catch up on each other’s weeks, and she proceeds to pass the phone around to my dad and my younger brothers.
Joey and Wes still live at home with my parents since they are seniors in high school, so I’m glad I get to see their faces on the weekly call.
They are inseparable, but that is a given since they are twins.
They take the same classes, they both play baseball on their high school team, and they even dated sisters once.
I thought that was kinda weird, but thankfully, that didn’t last.
They never wanted to tag around their big sister and yet I always felt the need to lead by example.
Always trying to excel in school and go to college, so they knew a good example to follow.
However, now that my path has shifted, I’ve taken a one-eighty on my teachings to my younger brothers.
I tell them to follow their dreams and don’t think they have to do the thing everyone else does.
They always just roll their eyes and then tell me about some big play from their last game.
I want them to be happy. They want to come up and visit me during their spring break from school, but my mom is afraid to let them drive alone.
Last week, Joey told me he started looking at colleges in Oregon so he could be closer to me, and I almost cried.
I love my family so much. I think this is why the guilt of moving weighs so heavily on me.
Even though I’m in the same time zone, I don’t want them to slip away.
The weekly calls are the most I’ve spoken to my family since I moved away to college.
Even though I lived only a couple of hours away back then, I would only see them on holidays or summer break.
Only calling my mom when I was stressed or heartbroken.
Another pang in my chest of a bruise that never heals.
This week, I take the call from my front yard.
Last week, Sheela pulled up in a pickup truck with two white Adirondack chairs in the back.
She said we needed a “chair moment” on the outside lawn.
The spring weather in Auburn Hills is the definition of crisp.
Sunbeams push their way through the dense cloud cover, and the air feels like a pinch on the cheeks.
I’m bundled in a hoodie and blanket while I ring my mom on video chat. She picks up on the second ring.
“Ah! My little Anni bug!” My mom recently reverted to calling me nicknames from my childhood.
We have our normal catch-up about how we’ve spent our week.
We’ve been here for about three weeks now and are feeling settled.
The box maze in the living room has transformed into a box stack in the corner.
I started my new job two weeks ago, and it’s scarily perfect.
I can walk to the studio located a few minutes downtown.
I spend my days talking to clients, editing photos, and planning photoshoots.
I am shooting exclusively with film, and we are working to turn a closet into a dark room so I can develop the photos in the studio.
I have a little experience developing film photos, but I’m excited to have this new skill to master.
I told my mom about the shoot I had this week.
A couple just got engaged, and we took pictures of them walking throughout the town.
It was so sweet, and seeing their burst of love made me crave it for myself.
“I think I’m starting to warm up to the idea of dating again.” I pull my blankets in closer after I confess this to my mom.
She gives me a concerned look. “Take it easy, Anni. Follow your heart and trust your gut. Also, one call, and I’m up there ready to kick anyone’s butt for hurting you.”
My mom has always been nervous about me dating again since the incident at the nightclub. She drove down that weekend and didn’t leave my side for two days.
“I know. I think I’d like to find someone to share my life with. I know I have Chloe, but someone I can be intimate with, you know.” I can feel my cheeks blushing at sharing details about my lacking love life with my mom.
“Be patient with both of you. Give her time.” My mom lets out a sigh. “I am always worried about her. Maybe you two can go do something for yourselves. That reminds me, I was looking up what little shops are in your town. I saw a coupon for a couples massage. Take Chloe and go relax.”
“Mom, you don’t have to buy Chloe and me a couples massage.” I laugh and shake my head at the thought of her and me in a room together.
Then I think about how nice it would be to get a massage. My right shoulder still has a pinch from lifting moving boxes.
“Honey, let me spoil you. Okay?”
“Sheesh, all right, no need to yell.”
“I’m not yelling. I’m raising my voice. It’s different.”
I roll my eyes at that, and we finish our conversation with her passing the phone to my dad, who tells me about some new planter boxes he built for my mom.
Then Joey shows me the science project he has finished.
It looks like a more complicated contraption to water a plant, but he said something about physics that made my brain twirl.
Wes told me that he and Joey got accepted to three colleges so far, two being in Oregon, one of which is in Auburn Hills.
I had no idea that they applied to the nearby private college.
They have been offered a baseball scholarship to each school so far and just need to decide which they are going to attend.
He said mom agreed that dad would take them to visit the colleges during their spring break next month and would stop by to visit me.
Not five minutes after hanging up the call, I get an email from my mom forwarding the gift certificate for a couples massage tomorrow at three.