Chapter 4
Phoenix
“Ma?” I wandered into the kitchen after greeting everyone else and spending some time shooting the shit with them in the family room.
Jonas had sat on the opposite end of the couch, side-eyeing me every so often and rubbing his palms along his shorts, one of his nervous tics.
I’d smiled each time I caught him, hoping to calm his nerves.
But that appeared not to have helped at all.
I’d be surprised if he had any skin left on his hands by the end of vacation if he kept up with it.
My eyes widened as I took in the food spread on the counters that I was assuming my mom had just spent the last hour preparing, since we were in danger of otherwise being underfed this evening.
“Good lord, Ma. Were you planning on two weeks of leftovers from this one meal?” She swatted me on the rear with a towel and then put me to work loading the dishwasher.
“Did you need something, sweetie?” she asked a few minutes later. “Or did you just come in here to help?”
“What?” I stuck the last few glass bowls on the bottom shelf and shut the dishwasher door. “Oh, umm, so, what’s the bedroom situation this time? Where’s everyone sleeping?”
Her brows furrowed. “Well, let’s see.” She folded the towel in her hands in half and hung it on the oven handle, then leaned against it.
“Your father and I are in the purple room. Amberly, James, and Maddie are in the yellow room. Brooklynn is in the blue room. Jonas is in the green room.” She’d named the bedrooms based on the bedding and curtain color.
“That puts you in…hmm. Let’s go have a chat with everyone. ”
She pushed off the edge of the stove, and we walked back to the family room. She clapped her hands twice as we entered. “Listen up, my beautiful people. Two things. The first is that we eat in ten minutes. The second is that we need to figure out the sleeping arrangements now that Phoenix is here.”
“That’s simple,” Brooklynn said. “We fit before. You and Dad have the main bedroom. Jonas in the green room. Phoenix in the blue room, and me, Amberly, and Maddie in the…oh yeah…” She grinned at James, who shrugged and smiled back.
Ma nodded. “Right. Brooklynn, you can sleep in the purple room with us. It has a huge bed. Throw some pillows down as a barrier, and you’ll be good to go.”
“Mom. No. Dad snores like a chainsaw.”
“Hey now!” Dad exclaimed, and Brooklynn blew him a kiss.
“I can sleep on the couch,” Jonas piped up, patting the cushion softly. “It’s comfortable, and I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t,” I interjected before anyone else tossed around any ideas. “There’s no need for that. Ma and Dad in the main. Amberly, James, and the rug rat in yellow. Brooklynn in blue. Jonas and I in green.”
I was a genius when I needed to be. I planned to try to work my way through Jonas’s misguided avoidance shields over the next two weeks and see where his head was.
This bedroom situation was perfect. That would give me at least eight hours a day where he wouldn’t be able to completely avoid me, even if those happened to be overnight hours. I’d take whatever I could get.
“That would work, I suppose,” Brooklynn said slowly, eyeing me with the tiniest amount of suspicion. I widened my eyes, aiming for innocence, and she narrowed hers further. “Assuming that you’re okay with it, Jonas,” she added, turning toward him.
He gulped quietly and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, sure. That makes sense.”
“Okay, great!” Ma said cheerfully. “Now, everyone, get cleaned up for dinner.”
Everyone stood and left the room, like ducklings waddling after the mama duck. Jonas and I were the last ones remaining. He paused beside me and looked up. His dark brown eyes were full of trepidation.
“Hey.” I placed a hand on his arm. “If you’re uncomfortable sharing with me, I’ll kick back on the couch, and you can take the room. It’s truly fine. I’m the one who showed up unannounced anyway.”
He gnawed at his bottom lip and brushed a strand of hair from his face. “Is there any way we can pretend that the stupidity that vomited from my mouth that one time…literally and figuratively,” he paused, frowning, “that it never happened, and just, ya know, try to move on or whatever?”
Okay, so we were having this conversation right now. All right. Rip the bandage off and all that. Matthew’s words floated through my head. Don’t come back without your balls, man. I exhaled and tilted my head side to side slowly. “I can’t do that, Jonas.”
His shoulders slumped, and he shifted his gaze to the wooden floor beams. “Okay. No, I get it.” He nodded slowly.
I tilted his chin up and forced him to look at me.
“I don’t think you do. It’s not about what you said back then—I honestly thought it was hilarious and cute.
And puke happens. None of that bothered me.
It’s what you did afterward that I have a problem with.
” I let my hand fall to my side. “I can’t just pretend you didn’t throw me out of your life like a toothbrush that fell in the toilet because, what?
You were embarrassed? You may be Brooklynn’s best friend, but I’ve always cared about you too, Jonas.
You and I both know that, and to pretend otherwise would be an insult to the friendship we had.
What you did was really shitty and immature. ”
Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes.
He wrung his hands together and then began twisting the hem of his shirt.
“I’m really sorry, Phoenix. I panicked and retreated, and once I realized what I was doing, I was too ashamed to reach out and try to fix things.
I’ve been sort of stuck in avoidance mode since Christmas.
” His cheeks flamed. “I understand if you can’t forgive me.
I-I’m glad we at least had this conversation so I could apologize. ”
The teeny tiny sadist in me wanted to make him squirm a little longer, but I shoved that aside in favor of what I really wanted. A fresh start with Jonas. He started to turn away, but I reached for his arm.
“I said I couldn’t pretend like none of it happened.
I didn’t say I couldn’t forgive you. If you understand where I’m coming from and you’re truly sorry, then let’s move on.
I forgive you.” Jonas beamed up at me, and I decided right then and there that I’d do anything necessary to see that smile again and as often as possible.
He snaked his arms around my waist and leaned in for a hug, stealing my breath in the process.
He’d always been a hugger, and right now, I was particularly happy about that.
I wrapped my arms around his lean torso and hugged him back, resting my cheek on his soft, light brown hair.
“I’ll miss calling you Pickles,” I added, “but I’ll get over it. ”
I could cope with the loss of the nickname if it meant having him in my life again. Besides, I was sure I’d have something new to tease him about by tomorrow at the latest.
“I’ve missed you, Phoenix,” Jonas whispered against my T-shirt. His warm breath permeated the fabric, and my heart knocked around inside my chest.
“I’ve missed you too.”
He tilted his head up, and our eyes locked. “I really am sorry. For everything. And you can still call me Pickles, so long as we never speak of the origin of it to anyone else, as long as we live.”
“Deal,” I said, nodding once. He stepped back, and I immediately missed his warmth. I reached for his arm again before he walked away. Wanting to lighten the mood a bit more, I smirked and said, “Just a heads up, or fair warning or whatever, but I usually sleep naked.”
He sucked in a breath and nodded once. “Okay.” The word came out as a squeak. “Th-that’s totally cool. Roomie.” He whipped around to leave and tripped over the edge of the ottoman. After sorting himself out, he gave me finger guns and rushed out of the room.
I shook my head in disbelief—at the conversation we’d finally had that was well overdue, and at his adorable, awkward clumsiness.
I scrubbed a hand over my eyes, walked out onto the deck through the nearest French doors, and flopped onto one of the outdoor couches.
Propping my arms along the backrest, I tilted my head and smiled up at the sky.
Soaking in the fading but still warm sunshine, I sent a wish out into the universe.
Please let this man be mine by the end of this trip, one way or another.