Chapter 11
Jonas
On my way out of town, I decided coffee and a bagel were necessities, and pulled into the local coffee shop. Knowing I’d be on the road crammed inside a car for the next four hours, I walked inside to order.
I went with my usual once it was my turn. “Grande soy latte and a plain bagel, toasted, with cream cheese, please.” They were speedy with the service, and since I had nothing but an empty apartment to drive home to, I sat in one of the booths near the door to enjoy my food before I hit the road.
As I was about to take the last bite of the first half of my bagel, someone slid into my booth on the bench seat across from me. My stomach flipped, thinking maybe Phoenix had come after me to tell me to stop being an idiot, but it was Marcus. He stared at me, a slow smile overtaking his face.
He greeted me with a “Hi, handsome.”
“Hey, Marcus. Good morning.” I’d been slouched over my coffee, so I sat back, already physically and emotionally exhausted.
I had no energy for human interaction, but he was a nice guy, and a few minutes of conversation wouldn’t kill me.
Although the “handsome” had thrown me off.
We’d never had the sort of friendship where we threw words like that around.
Marcus craned his neck and looked around the coffee shop. It was pretty packed right now. “Are you here alone?”
I nodded and took a drink of my latte. Marcus tilted his head and scrutinized me. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “You seem a little quiet.”
I made an effort to smile. “Oh, you know, just tired.” I held my cup up and then noticed he was empty-handed. “Did you need to grab something to drink? I’m leaving in a few minutes. You can have my booth if you want.”
Marcus shook his head. “That’s okay. I was just walking by and saw you through the window and thought I’d pop in and say hi.
” He ran a hand through his hair and propped an elbow on the windowsill, leaning at an odd angle that made it seem like he was aiming for nonchalant sexiness, but not quite nailing the look.
“I’m surprised you’re here without your bodyguard. ”
I forced a laugh. “My bodyguard?”
“Yeah, Mr. Grabby Hands.”
“Are you talking about Phoenix?” I knew he was. The way he was talking, joking but with an underlying insulting tone, didn’t sit well with me, regardless of where things stood with Phoenix and me right now.
Marcus smirked but didn’t answer the question, sitting back up like a non-awkward human and changing the topic instead.
“So, it looks like I’ll be able to come to Raleigh next month.
I want to start looking at the different areas, see where I want to move.
You said you’re in North Raleigh, right? And you like it?”
I started peeling the order sticker off my now-empty cup.
“Yup. We’re in a great location, not far from Six Forks Road.
The property and buildings are gorgeous.
Neighbors are great. Well, most of them.
” The smile he gave me settled my nerves a bit.
It seemed genuine. Perhaps I’d misunderstood the ill intent behind his earlier words.
“Sounds pretty great. You still up for being my tour guide next month?”
“Absolutely. I’m a bit biased because our location is amazing, but really, there are a lot of decent options around, depending on your budget. We can check out however many you want.”
“Excellent. Maybe we can grab some beers while we’re at it.”
“Um, yeah. Sure.” There were several breweries and bars in Raleigh that were absolute musts for beer lovers—including the one I worked at—so of course he’d want to grab some beers while he was visiting.
Marcus pulled out his phone and began tapping away at it.
I glanced out the window and zoned out, watching pedestrians stroll past the large glass window.
Across the street, I could see The Parlor, not yet open for the day, and a wave of sadness rolled through me.
I hadn’t had a chance to get that banana ice cream with Phoenix, and probably never would.
I was still angry at the shadiness of what happened yesterday, but was starting to realize that once again I’d handled it very poorly. I kept messing things up between us.
Maybe we could try the whole friend thing again. That seemed to be the territory where we worked best. But the thought of never being intimate with Phoenix again sucked the remaining energy from my body. It was depressing.
The sound of a notification from Marcus’s phone brought my attention back to our table.
I exhaled slowly and glanced at my watch.
Not that I was against any deadlines, but I needed to be leaving soon.
I didn’t want to sit here all day. There was a giant, soft couch at home just waiting for me to plop onto it and not move for a week.
I tapped on the table, and Marcus glanced up from his phone.
“I’m going to head out now.” I slid out from the booth and gathered my trash. “It was good to see you again. Sorry if I seem out of it right now. I’m tired and have a long drive ahead of me.”
“You’re going home early?” Marcus asked, holding the coffee shop door open for me after I tossed my trash in the garbage can.
When I’d called Marcus yesterday to apologize for any rude behavior he’d been subjected to, I’d left it at that and then talked about hiking with him. I hadn’t mentioned the argument Phoenix and I had that had led up to the phone call.
“Yeah. I’ve, um, got some shifts at the bar I need to pick up. Someone had some sort of emergency.” A complete lie, but whatever. It really wasn’t any of his business why I was leaving early.
Marcus followed me toward Brooklynn’s car. We stood just outside the driver’s-side door, Marcus fumbling with his own keys, and me wondering why he suddenly seemed so nervous.
“I was hoping for the chance to see more of you over the rest of your trip. Looks like that won’t be happening now,” Marcus said.
“Sorry. We can catch up more next month.” I smiled at him and touched the door handle to unlock it. My luggage was already stowed away in the trunk, and I was fed, fully caffeinated, and ready to go.
Marcus leaned in for what I assumed was a hug, but instead, as he wrapped his arms around me, he planted his lips on mine. I froze for a brief moment in shock, but his tongue seeking entrance into my mouth jolted me into action. I shoved him away, swiping at my lips.
His whole countenance changed. “Why the hell did you push me?” His tone betrayed his surprise, and his eyes held a spark of disbelief.
Was this guy serious? “I’m sorry,” I sputtered, “but where I’m from, people don’t go around shoving their tongues down the throats of casual acquaintances.”
The sun shone brightly overhead, reflecting off Brooklynn’s car.
It was a gorgeous morning, the weather couldn’t be more perfect, but it felt like a heavy, dark cloud hung over my head.
I was an idiot for not seeing through to Marcus’s true intentions before now.
Brooklynn and Phoenix had. But I walked around with rose-colored glasses on too often, sometimes to my detriment.
Marcus didn’t even know that Phoenix and I weren’t together, and he still kissed me!
Marcus crossed his arms and leaned down into me. I backed into the door. “You gave me all the signs, Jonas,” he said, an accusing, judgmental tone in his voice.
My eyes widened. “I did not!”
He counted on his fingers. “You flirted with me yesterday morning—”
“I did no such thing,” I interjected.
He continued without acknowledging my words. “You shared a personal struggle with me and asked for my help—”
“The article?” I interrupted again. “Are you serious?” I shook my head in disgust. “That is for, like, my other job. It’s not a personal struggle.”
He tapped his third finger. “You called me to apologize for the stupid way your caveman acted yesterday during the hike and after lunch.”
I saw red at the insult against Phoenix and exploded on Marcus.
“Are you out of your goddamn mind? First of all, don’t call Phoenix a caveman.
He’s amazing and intelligent and a far better person than you’ll ever be.
” Marcus abruptly stood tall, his spine ramrod straight.
“Second of all, I never flirted with you. The thought of doing so literally never crossed my mind. Third…” What the hell was my third point again?
I was becoming flustered, heads were turning, and I didn’t want to make any more of a scene.
I lowered my voice. “Third, just…get the hell away from me, please.”
“With pleasure,” Marcus sneered and stomped off.
I opened the car door, slid into the seat, and then sat there, breathing slowly for several minutes to calm my heart rate.
That was a giant disaster. And yet, I was proud of myself for putting Marcus in his place.
I was capable of standing up for myself and taking care of things.
I had a lot to learn and experience yet in life, but I needed to give myself more credit for my accomplishments.
I had a nice apartment and contributed to all of the expenses by half.
I was making things work with the part-time job so that I could support myself until my writing career kicked off.
I was doing the whole adult thing. If Phoenix was willing to give me another chance, I really thought we could make things work. At least, I hoped.
Thinking about my next steps jacked my pulse back up again.
Should I go back to the mountain house? Would Phoenix just laugh and slam the door in my face?
I deserved it. Lord knew I deserved it. I pulled out my phone, staring at it and tapping my fingers against the back of the cover.
I decided to take a chance and call Phoenix.
“Ugh!” I exclaimed a minute and several failed call attempts later. It kept going straight to voicemail. I didn’t want to text him for something like this. I needed to hear his voice. I tapped on Brooklynn’s name, my next best bet.
“Hello,” a deep voice said.
I pulled the phone away from my ear to confirm, and yeah, I had definitely called Brooklynn.
“Um, hi? Is, uh, Brooklynn there?”
“Sorry, Jonas. It’s James. Brooklynn had to go help Amberly with some sort of diaper emergency, and asked me to watch her phone until she returned. Said she didn’t want to take it into the hazard zone.”
My nose wrinkled up. That sounded messy. Poor Maddie. “Oh, okay. Um, is Phoenix around by chance? I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer.”
“No, he left,” James replied. There was muffled talking next, like he had pressed the phone against his chest and was speaking to someone in the room with him.
“He left? What do you mean he left? Back to New York?” I asked, panic squeezing my vocal cords and making my words come out all breathy and choppy.
James finally returned to the phone. “Sorry, man, but I gotta go. Maddie came down with some sort of stomach bug, and Amberly needs a third set of hands.”
The call disconnected. I brought the phone down and stared at it.
With Phoenix gone back to New York, there was nothing for me to do but drive home.
I didn’t want to go back to the mountain house and try to act cheerful for the rest of this two-week vacation.
I didn’t have it in me. I buckled up, pressed the ignition button, and headed for the highway.
Nobody would ever measure up to Phoenix in my eyes. I was destined to be alone forever, and it was my own fault.